Schizophrenia
by owlloveyou
Summary: Kurama's human friend is a paranoid schizophrenic, and her delusions have meddled with her sixth sense. When she finds out Kurama's secret, she learns she may have some gifts of her own.
1. Seemingly

**A/N: **Rated T for language, plenty of profanity scattered throughout the chapters. Very little violence. No sexual situations. Little romance. May be triggering with the mentioning of self-harm and suicide.

This is an OC-centric fic. Not something I intended to happen when writing it but oops. That's what happened. Turn back now.

If you're brave enough to read this dragging clusterfuck, don't be afraid to give me any input. I like criticism and tips.

* * *

"No," I said flipping through my closet of clothes, shoving aside expensive blouses my father had bought me. "No, no, no."

Finally, my fingers wrapped around a pink, button-up blouse, "Perfect!"

I finished dressing myself, buttoning up my dark khaki shorts, and heard the vibrations of my phone against the wooden dresser. Quickly checking the sender, I found it was Shuichi.

I opened the text that read "_Are we still going this afternoon?"_

I tapped his name on the message and called him back, putting him on speaker as I made my way into the bathroom to style my sandy blonde hair. After maybe the third ring, he picked up.

"I'll be at your house soon!" I pulled my hair into a pony tail. "I'm leaving a bit earlier; I want to get something for Mom!"

I could hear him smile through the phone, "She'll be happy to see you."

"Are you with her now?"

"Yes."

I picked up the phone and some bobby pins at the same time, utilizing my fingers, "HI, MOM."

I could hear her laughter in the back ground and her acknowledging reply.

"So, you will arrive at noon?" Shuichi asked.

"Yup," I began pulling my side fringe back onto the top of my head, pushing them forward to give them a little bump. "I'll see you soon!"

We hung up, and I began finishing my hair, excited for the planned day ahead of me.

My friend had been gone for a while and his mom was getting better from her sickness. It was time for a day with him and his mom, just the three of us. Upon finishing my hair, I dug around in my make-up kit, finding my eyeliner and mascara. Normally, I only applied a thin line and just dabbed some mascara on, but today I decided to do something slightly different. I winged my eyeliner and used pencil to coat the border of my bottom eyelid, accentuating the curve of my eyes.

Quickly, after applying two coats of mascara, I grabbed my messenger bag/purse and checked for my wallet. Slipping on some pink flats, I was quick out the door.

* * *

Upon entering Shuichi's front yard, an odd presence overwhelmed me, unnerving me. I looked up to his room, finding the window, and a black figure blurred outside, passing above me. Weirded out, it only took me a second to realize that I had forgotten to take my medication. I rang the doorbell and dug in my purse to see if I had packed it, but I hadn't.

That wasn't good since my schizophrenia only became worse once it started.

Shuichi opened the door as I had finished rummaging through my purse.

"Hey!" I neglected my search, not caring for my pills anymore, as I jumped onto him, wrapping my arms around him.

"Hello, Satomi," he replied.

I let go as I saw Mom in the hallway. Slipping past him, I gently bumped into her and held her tight enough for her to bear. She was so fragile to me after her admittance to the hospital. I felt horrible that I was never able to visit her, but that was my own fault.

"How have you been, Satomi?" She pulled away from me with her hands on my shoulders.

"I've been great!" I replied, feeling some freedom since being released a few weeks ago. "Let's get going! The buffet ends at two. We'll all catch up over lunch."

We walked and talked to the drive way, but as his mom began unlocking the car, Shuichi spoke up.

"I forgot something in my room, Mother," he said. "I'll be right back."

I waited until he had walked back into the house to follow him, becoming nosy, "I'll be back, mom!"

I found my way to his room and knocked on the door before opening it.

"Shuichi," I peered inside, sticking my head into the room, covering my body with the door.

"Hm," I watched as he acknowledged me as he closed his closet door.

"I saw something coming from your bedroom window when I came here."

"Have you been taking your medicine?" He began walking towards me.

"I forgot it today but..." I paused. His room felt weird.

"Come, let's go spend time together," he said, "It's been so long."

In retrospect to our past, a few weeks was a long time to not see each other. He put his arm around my shoulder and walked me out, distracting me from whatever was wrong. Though, I could have sworn as we walked down the stairs that I heard his closet door open, a strange presence in the familiar home.

When we arrived at the buffet, Mom had to go to the bathroom, and Shuichi and I were left alone to catch up.

"How has your schizophrenia been?" He moved his wrist around, shaking the glass of water gently as I watched the ice swirl in the cup's perimeter. "Have they upped your dosage since you've been released?"

"No, but it's been getting better. No delusions, really only voices now," I took a sip from my own glass, catching the ice in my mouth and chewing a bit before continuing. "I haven't seen anything in a long time, either. Except for today..."

"What did you see today?"

"Something jumping into your bedroom window."

"You'll be fine, Mi," This nickname wasn't common, and was used as a form of comfort or reassurance. "Just continue your medication."

"I don't like it," I sighed, "I feel like a robot."

He patted my hand and I felt a little better, because he was my only friend that cared. Mom came back to sit down and eat, and we caught up on the past month and a half. I told them my good grades and how I had joined Meioh Private Academy's female volleyball team, since my psychiatrist had recommended for me to try some form of socializing.

"Oh, that's great," she said, "Have you been making friends?"

"Well, acquaintances," I replied, looking out the window we sat next to.

I watched as a boy in a green uniform walked by next to a boy with orange hair. I saw Shuichi notice them as well, but thought nothing of it as we all continued our lunch and conversation. I had such a wonderful time, school was still a hassle and being on suicide watch for so long was lonesome, it was a perfect afternoon for me to see my friend and my Mom again.

But towards the end, before I could stuff myself with food as I used to when we went to buffets, I began hearing voices. Shuichi could tell, since I started staring at my unfinished, food-piled-high plate and was shaking, trembling enough to rattle the table slightly.

"Satomi," he put his chopsticks down, trying to grab my attention, snap me out of an episode.

Mom noticed and went to pay for the buffet to get us out of here as soon as possible. Shuichi put his hand on mine and said my nickname again, trying to calm me down. But it wasn't working because the voices were getting louder and worse, overpowering. Instead of delusions, they were speaking about me, behind my back, taunting and degrading me in public. Shuichi stood up and helped me from my seat to walk me outside. He said some words to Mom and we began walking down the street to find a quiet ally to sit down in.

I looked up at the sky, feeling the cool ground on the bottom of my thighs, hoping to calm down, but only a blue haired woman flying by on a paddle graced my sight.

I wish I took my medication.

* * *

Eventually, I had calmed down and the voices were gone. Shuichi and I sat in a park and fed some of the birds with bread he picked up from a nearby bakery.

"This time I saw a blue haired girl," I threw a crumb at a pigeon, hitting him in the head.

I saw Shuichi fidget from my peripheral vision.

"You okay?" I turned towards him.

"Yes," he replied, "I'm going to get another small loaf of bread. Will you be all right?"

"Yeah," I reassured him. "I'm calm now."

When he left, I toyed with my phone, finding games and music to play to occupy my time. When I looked up, I saw the black blur again. It was heading in the direction Shuichi had left in, jumping from tree to tree. I stood up to get a view of what the black blur was, moving into the sidewalk to see it retreat in the distance, but I quickly realized it might just be my head again, so I began to sit down.

A heavy pressure knocked into me, forcing me to the ground, winding me. I opened my eyes as I sat up. The young boy with orange hair that I saw before was on the ground in front of me. He had run into me.

"You!" He exclaimed as he saw me notice him.

"Wh—"

He grabbed my arm and picked me up quickly.

The boy in the green uniform was running up behind the orange haired boy.

"You're in trouble," Said orange.

"I didn't do anything, though," I yanked my arm from him, backing away.

"No, you don't understand!" the green uniformed boy came closer.

I turned around to run and saw Shuichi coming back. "Shuichi!"

He noticed what was happening, and started to run over. But a black haired boy my height stepped in between Shuichi and I, stopping me in my tracks. I was surrounded, confused, anxiety spiking.

As Shuichi grew closer, the black haired boy turned to him and said, "You let your guard down, they've found her."

"Shit," Shuichi said as he grabbed my hand.

"What's happening?" My head was beginning to hurt from the confusion and the anxiety was triggering voices.

I began shaking again, and Shuichi held me by my shoulders as he and the three boys talked about something I couldn't hear the voices became overpowering once more.

"She's not safe with you anymore," said one of them.

"Hiei, take her home," Shuichi said.

"No! Don't leave me!" I clutched his sleeve. He was my friend and my only friend… my only friend who cared.

"Satomi, you are not safe right now," he started, "I can't be with you right now. I will see you soon."

I was anxious, scared, and the voices were making it worse. Shuichi saying I wasn't safe wasn't helping at all…

"I promise I will see you soon," his arms wrapped around my shoulders fully to bring me into an embrace.

But as quickly as that embrace came, he let go of me, and the black haired boy with the cloak picked me up by the waist, throwing me over his shoulder. Everything was too much right now, and I couldn't concentrate on anything, everything became a blur and I was very surprised to have arrived at my apartment on the balcony in a matter of minutes. The cloaked boy set me down on the chair I leave outside for when the days are now, sunny and warming.

"Can you open the door or do I have to?" He asked.

I closed my eyes and tried drowning out the voices.

"Yeah, I can..." I eventually replied.

Shakily, I stood up and began unlocking the sliding door. The boy shoved me inside and guided me to my couch. He locked the door and pulled over the curtains.

I lay down on the couch from the position where I sat, which was usually uncomfortable. But I didn't care. I just wanted the voices to stop so I could take in everything that was happening.

"Can you please get me my medication?" I was too scared to get up.

I didn't want to get anxious about the situation and hear more voices.

I waited for a few minutes, and I thought he wasn't going to get them. But I heard the pill bottle rattle and they were above my head on the couch. Grabbing them, I took my dose and sat up. Calming down. It would be a while before they worked, but I was feeling better already because I knew everything would stop.

I looked at the boy who stood across from me against the wall, "What's happening?"


	2. Between You and I

"I'm not sure," the boy replied. "Something about you being watched."

I had a feeling he was lying, he probably just didn't want to talk to me. But I couldn't concentrate on what he meant by being "watched" since my voices spiked once more, taking advantage of the time they had left before my medication kicked in.

_Who would want to talk to you? You have no friends for a reason._

I began to move in a more comfortable position, but the voices kept coming. At least they would go away soon, it was all I could look forward to at the moment. They weren't horrid and disturbing anymore, merely insulting and degrading, taunting.

_Don't move; there are worms on the couch._

But there weren't any.

_The couch is dirty; there are bugs on it. Don't move or they'll crawl on you._

I bunched myself up into the corner of the couch next to the arm rest. I just had to wait out the voices until my medication kicked in…

"What's wrong with you, girl?" He asked.

"There are bugs on the couch," I repeated what the voices said to me.

"There aren't any, you're hallucinating."

I realized that he meant that as an insult as I mumbled my reply, "I know…"

He looked at me with curiosity for a moment, and then turned to the door as seconds later, the doorbell rang. I heard a voice ring from behind the door, it was a female.

"Yue, Satomi!" The voice carried inside my living room, echoing slightly.

The black haired boy walked over and opened the door, and a blue haired girl I had seen earlier, on the paddle, came in with the two boys from the park. Shuichi walked in after them and I felt lighter, more relieved.

"Yue, Satomi?" the blue haired girl asked as she came closer to me. "My name's Botan!"

Her smile was big and she was so friendly, it made me smile a bit despite the situation. I saw Shuichi lock the door as he came inside, and Botan sat down on the coffee table that was in front of the couch I was sitting on.

"It's nice to meet you!" Botan smiled, she was so cheerful it was almost rubbing off on me.

"Hey," piped up the orange haired boy. "Sorry about the incident in the park. We were just in a hurry and everything, and—"

"It's okay," I replied quietly.

The voices started to fade away, and I began to feel like a robot, monotonous. I was almost emotionless, calm, no anxiety or fears, only the numb feeling of my nerves and the soft couch cushions.

"My name's Kuwabara," said the orange haired boy.

"Yusuke," the green boy piped up. "Sorry for the scare earlier."

"It's okay," I said again. Shuichi came to sit down next to me but I tried to stop him before he sat down. "There are bugs."

"No," he replied calmly and sat down next to me, "There aren't any bugs, Satomi."

"I know…"

My anxiety of the nonexistent bugs began to fade away and I felt more comfortable in sitting on the couch in a leisurely position. I picked up my purse that was at Botan's feet and held it closer to me. I had forgotten to give Mom the present I picked up for her.

"Before we start talking, is there anyone home?" Botan asked.

"No, they're in America," I replied quietly.

"Good!" She said enthusiastically, "So we can have our privacy."

I turned to Shuichi and asked quietly, "Is this bad…?"

But his only response was a reassuring grip on my shoulder.

Botan pulled a file out of a bag she carried and flipped through it. She began reading off things and looking at me as she went through the list. "Yue, Satomi. 14 years old, born on October 30th, 5 feet 2 inches, sandy blonde hair, 118 pounds, green eyes, no criminal record, hospitalized twice, …paranoid schizophrenic."

She quickly closed the file, as it to avoid another stat of mine.

I stared at the beige file cover and waited for her to continue or explain what she was doing with my stats. Or really, where she got them from.

She looked up at me, "Do you hear voices?"

"That's common when you're a paranoid schizophrenic. The correct term is 'auditory hallucinations,'" I was becoming irritated that she was interrogating me in front of people I didn't know. It was disrespectful.

"And you experience visual hallucinations too?" she asked.

"Not often anymore."

"What did you used to see?"

"Are you my psychiatrist?"

She stayed quiet, becoming a bit embarrassed at my snapping.

"Then don't ask me intimate things like that. You're very disrespectful."

I felt Shuichi's hand on my knee, "Satomi, she needs to know so we can figure things out."

"Then tell me what's happening!" My voice rose, squeaking slightly. "You don't get to just ask me those things!"

Shuichi took his hand off my knee and looked at me. He knew I was right, and I could tell he felt bad for making me entertain them. But I also knew he would stop them if it wasn't necessary for them to ask these things…right?

"We believe you have something that many bad people want," he put it nicely, talking to me like a child.

That was something he normally did when I was having an episode, and when I was having an episode I didn't mind him talking to me like that because it comforted me. But now, I wasn't having an episode; I was being disrespected and treated as a spectacle.

"Then out with it!" I yelled, "Tell me what's happening. Or I won't answer anything."

"You have a sixth sense, a strange one," Botan replied. "Very common among humans, but we believe you can help us more than the average person."

"What does this have to do with my schizophrenia?"

"We're not sure, your schizophrenia may have nothing to do with it at all," she admitted, putting the file up to cover the lower half of her face. "But we have to ask you in order to know. I'm sorry you feel like we're invading your privacy."

I paused, looking at her to see if she was being sincere, but her pink eyes were upset about the disrespect, her brow furrowed. I looked over to Shuichi and his green eyes looked at me with respect. A look that was familiar to me… when he was there for me after my episodes, he didn't look down on me or avoid me. He saw me as how I was and looked at me like I was a human. A human worthy of respect. That's why he was my best friend...

I turned back to Botan and contemplated what they could be talking about.

"How do you think I can help you?"

"We think you can tap into other worldly powers," she said. "Like a priestess."

I raised my eyebrows, completely skeptical, "What does my head telling me there's WORMS on my couch have to do with other worldly powers? Or telling me that if I don't turn on the faucet my mother will die?"

Botan looked at me, and then looked down at the file again, "There's a possibility that some of the things you hear are from demons."

"Why would they be telling me to kill myself?" I ignored her mentioning of demons, I felt like I was being teased. "Or that my bed is full of spiders so I have to sleep on the floor?"

"Some of the voices," Botan repeated. "Some of the voices may not be directed at you, but conversations you hear from demons… Would you mind telling me some of the really bad things you hear?"

I looked down at my purse in shame; it wasn't hard to remember the worst things they've said.

"Kill yourself or she'll die," Okay, maybe that wasn't word for word.

The real phrase put me into the ER and I missed a few months of school. My head had completely convinced me that if I downed the whole bottle of my medication that Shiori would begin feeling better.

"There's a possibility that sometimes you are syncing into the Makai," Botan explained, "Overhearing demons threats and conversations that occur in the Makai."

"So, what are you saying?" I asked, "That I don't really have schizophrenia?"

"No," Botan replied, "You do. But you are unable to differentiate between when you are syncing into the Makai and picking up demon's thoughts, or when you are actually experiencing auditory hallucinations."

I looked over to Shuichi, wondering what she was talking about. But he looked at me with reassuring eyes. Shuichi wasn't one to play pranks on me.

"The Makai is the demon world," Botan explained, "Not only are you able to sync into the Makai, but you are able to read their thoughts from a completely different world. You are a priestess."


	3. Salem's Filled With Witches

A priestess? No.

"I'm not exactly religious," I replied.

"It's not really about religion," Botan explained, "It's about being able to tap into your sixth sense. Some people use to equate Priestesses with Shamans, being able to tap into the demon world."

"Okay…" I mumbled, "So what does this have to do with the whole situation?"

Botan looked at me confused.

"Why was I dragged back home?"

"Oh!" Botan said with a smile, she knew the answer. "People want to use you."

I stared at her, waiting to elaborate.

"You can tap into the demon world, meaning you can locate demons, overhear them, and stuff like that."

I kept staring at her. I didn't know why anyone would want me for that.

"If they're looking for someone important, or innocent, you could track them down."

"But I can't," I replied.

"With training you could," her expression changed, becoming slightly unnerved, almost grim. "Or if you were forced."

I didn't want to guess what she meant by forced. None of this made sense. I just wanted to sleep; I wanted everyone to leave me alone.

"Okay," I mumbled.

"Will you help us?" Botan asked.

And I looked around the room, from person to person. Yusuke and Kuwabara seemed very friendly. But the cloaked boy didn't seem to care one way or another. I finally turned to Shuichi and asked him.

"What do you think?"

"I wish you never got dragged into this," he replied honestly. "It's dangerous. You could end up dead somewhere along the line."

Maybe learning how to differentiate between my head and the demon world would help me be able to handle my illness better. It'd be nice to know what's going on in my head for a change.

"Okay," I turned to Botan. "I'll help."

Botan squealed with delight and jumped up from the coffee table to hug me, taking me by surprise.

"We still need to put you on watch until you can handle yourself and we know you're not being watched," Botan explained as she let go of me. "People want you for themselves."

"I don't see why when I can't do anything…"

"They can force it out of you," Shuichi said, "If they can't, they'll kill you."

"Yusuke and Kuwabara will keep company with you on some weekdays," Botan started. "Kurama, you can watch her at school can't you?"

I turned to the cloaked boy, waiting for him to respond, but Shuichi replied.

"Yes."

My head spun to Shuichi, "What did she call you?"

"I'll explain later," he replied.

I was hurt, because I knew now he was hiding a lot more than he had let on in the past hour. He was hiding a lot, and that hurt because I told him everything about myself, down to every suicidal, gross thought that has ever crossed my mind. He could see how sad I was when I turned back to Botan.

"Hiei," she said, "You can watch her for now until we figure out a schedule."

"Why me?" He was clearly annoyed.

But Botan didn't reply, she simply tried talking to me about herself, trying to make friends with me. And I really appreciated her attempt, but I was too hurt about Shuichi's hiding things that I didn't want to talk to her right now. I didn't want to talk to anyone. She took the hint and stopped talking to me and moved onto talk to Yusuke and Kuwabara. I didn't pay attention to what they were saying.

I reached into my purse and pulled out the white, yellow, and pink scarf I had bought for Mom, and handed it to Shuichi. Floral roses printed in a pattern, "Can you give this to her when you go home?"

"Why don't you give it to her when you come over next time?" He was trying to be nice.

But I took that as a 'no,' and set it back in my purse.

"Ok, we've got it figured out!" Botan said.

I looked up at her, waiting for her to continue.

"Kurama will watch over you during school," she started, "Yusuke and Kuwabara will accompany you after school hours, and Hiei will take the night shift."

I looked over to Hiei and he seemed angry that he was given the job, "He doesn't have to. I don't want him to do something he doesn't want to do."

"Nonsense!" Botan said cheerfully as she turned around and stared Hiei down. "He'd love to do his _job_."

"Tch," He sucked his teeth and turned away from her.

"Are we finished?" I just wanted everyone to leave.

I wanted Shuichi to leave most of all. It wasn't the fact that he was obligated to share information with me, because he wasn't. It was the fact that he could have shared information with me, but chose not to. I thought that was what friends did, shared their thoughts and their life.

Botan took the hint as she saw how upset I was, and hugged me goodbye.

"It was nice meeting you all," I got up to walk them to the door. "I'll see you both tomorrow?"

I ignored Shuichi and looked at Yusuke and Kuwabara.

"Yeah!" Yusuke replied.

"See you then," We said our goodbyes, and then shut the door.

I turned around and realized Hiei was still here. I was his job at nights from now on, and he wasn't pleased about it at all. I stood in front of the door after locking it and waited for him to say something. But he didn't say anything. So I went into my room to change into pajamas, and grabbed some books to do homework.

I went out in the living room where he was because it was rude to leave your guests alone. I sat the books down on the coffee table and turned to him. He was standing next to the TV; he essentially hadn't budged since he arrived.

"Do you like TV shows?" I asked.

No reply.

"Are you hungry?" I tried something else.

Again, no reply, as if I was unworthy of contact with him.

This was going to be very hard.

* * *

I spent the next few hours studying and completing homework, wondering why there was a familiar presence from the boy. For the first two hours, he didn't budge. But halfway through the second hour he walked towards the balcony. He stayed inside and didn't open the sliding door, but opened the curtains instead. I hadn't realized how late it was. I closed my books and stuffed them into my schoolbag for the next morning, and stepped into the kitchen to make something for dinner.

I began cooking beef stir fry, and put some rice in the steamer. I watched him as I knew the aroma filled the living room. He had to be hungry. Even demons had to eat. And as I moved around the stir fry inside the pan, I realized what I had just said, and how everything clicked into place. He was the odd presence at Shuichi's, and the black blur… I was sensing him the whole time, the familiar presence. About twenty minutes later, the stir fry was ready as was the rice. I fixed his plate first, then mine. I set his plate on the table across from mine and sat down to eat.

"You don't have to eat," I said, "But I guess it's a thank you for giving me my medication and taking me here when I was scared."

I looked at him and waited to see if he'd come to at least grab his plate, but he didn't budge. I wasn't worthy of any contact still, and he continued to stare out the sliding glass window out into the city.

I ate my plate in about ten minutes, put my dishes in the dishwasher, and began to wash the pans I had used. He still did not budge. After I had finished cleaning, I went into my room to grab my shower supplies and stepped into the bathroom. When I was finished, I changed into cleaner pajamas and headed for bed. But as I began to crawl in, my head began convincing me of delusions.

_There's a black widows nest in there. Don't go in._

I stared at the bed and its greyish, tinted pink covers. There was nothing there, but…

_There are spiders in there. They'll kill you._

I gave up. I was done. I grabbed my pillow and a spare blanket from the closet and stepped back out into the living room.

"I'll be sleeping out here," I said, "You can use my room if you want."

He turned around to look at me. "What's wrong with your room, girl?"

"Spiders," I set my pillow down on the floor and threw the blanket next to it.

It took him a second to realize what I was talking about, and he stayed put for another. Eventually, he decided to go inside my room. I guess it was better than being out here with me.

I sighed, realizing how hard it was going to be to stay around him, as I went into the kitchen to turn on the dishwasher. I noticed an empty, dirty plate in the sink, and placed it in with the rest of the dishes. Maybe he would warm up to me one day.

As I lay down on the blanket, pulling half the pillow underneath me as I shoved my face in the pillow, hoping to sleep quickly. I kept wondering what I was getting myself into, if it'd push me over the edge. I didn't want to be on suicide watch again, I really didn't, it was so lonesome.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with a stiff back and knocked on my bedroom door. It was cracked open, and there was no response. It was my own room, why was I knocking? I gently nudged the door open finding him on the window sill awake. I wondered if he'd actually stayed awake the whole night.

"Good morning," I said quietly, going to my closet to grab my school uniform.

No reply.

"You know," I mumbled, "I understand you don't like that you have to watch over me. I understand you probably don't like me. But the least you could do is be polite to me so this isn't completely horrible."

He just looked at me, scoffed, and turned back to looking outside the window.

"I am disrespected by so many," I mumbled, irritated. "I'll be damned if I'm disrespected by you."

I left my room and dressed myself in the living room, doing my hair and make-up in the bathroom. Just a little bit of mascara and a thin line of eyeliner. I wet my hair, crunching mousse in it to give more defined, voluminous waves. After I was finished getting ready in the bathroom and brushing my teeth, I fixed breakfast in the kitchen and set his plate across from me on the table.

"If you eat this, could you please put your dishes in the dishwasher when you're finished?" I knew he'd hear me anyways despite my quiet voice.

When there wasn't a reply, I simply ended the lack of conversation with a thank you.

I cleaned the dishes I used to make scrambled eggs with turkey slices and cheese, and put my dishes in the dishwasher. After grabbing my bag and putting on my shoes, I left without saying goodbye to him, but as I walked to school, I felt him following me. His shift wasn't over until I stepped on school property since the moment I turned onto the premises, I felt his presence disappear.

Shuichi was waiting for me at the pillar that near the front entrance. A bunch of other girls were around him, talking to him and gushing over him. He would respond to them to be polite, as he always did. Everything seemingly went in one ear and out the other, yet he always was able to remember something about one of the girls, keeping his polite status. His attention turned to me as I walked up and he said goodbye to the girls so he could walk with me.

As usual, I stayed steps behind him, not wanting to be seen by others. But what happened to be different today was my silence towards him, I was still so upset that I didn't want to talk to him, and he knew this so he kept quiet as he walked me to class.

"I'll see you during lunch, Mi," he said as I walked into my homeroom.

"Okay," I said, closing the sliding door behind me.

I found my way to my seat and looked at the clock. I had fifteen minutes before class started, and had time to find something to occupy myself: my nails. When I had sat down in my seat, I dug into my bag and pulled out a small make-up bag and looked for my nail filer and a beautiful coral pink nail polish I had found a few days ago. I had just started my second coat of nail polish when some of the girls that had been surrounding Shuichi walked in.

"Why does he actually talk to her?" One of the girls mumbled. "She's weird."

I was far from weird.

I recognized one of the girls voice. She was ebony haired and full figured, tall.

She mumbled to her friends as they sat down, but purposely talked just loud enough to make it seem as if she actually tried keeping her voice down, "Anyone will talk to someone who cakes their face with make-up."

I turned towards them and finished painting my pinky nail on my left hand. I was tired of being treated like a spectacle, being disrespected and ignored, and then having to hear them say rude things about me in the room in hopes of me hearing and not saying anything back to defend myself.

"You know," And despite my courageous effort, my voice was still quiet. "Fuck you."

Two of the girls' mouths were agape with shock; I had never really talked to anyone before besides Shuichi, let alone say profanities.

"Fuck you," I repeated, "You're suddenly better than me because you don't wear make-up? Because I like something that fits into a typical female gender role, and you don't, you're suddenly better than me?

I turned my body in the chair, facing them, "I should give you a special snowflake award."

They stayed quiet, trying to figure out something to say to me.

"I think I know why Shuichi talks to me and none of you," I continued, "Because I'm not a shallow cunt."

I turned back around and blew on my nail polish as I waited for class to start. I didn't hear them say anything else, and they didn't say anything for the rest of the class period. The day passed quickly, and though I had my first lash out at this school, it didn't seem to phase anyone else, they kept their mumbling quiet as I walked into the room or passed by in the hallways. It was catty for everyone, I was merely a spectacle since I hung around with the apple of many female's eyes.

During lunch, Shuichi came to my desk in my classroom and sat down next to me.

"Mother made you a bento today," he pulled a pink bento box out of his bag. "She made it for you in hopes that you would feel better."

I smiled at the small box, and he handed me a pair of chopsticks.

"Let's go on the roof and I'll explain things to you," he said.

I couldn't be mad at him for much longer as we made our way up to the roof, and by the time we sat down to talk, my anger disappeared. We sat on the roof and talked. Well, he talked. He explained to me what had happened while I was gone in the ER and while he was gone for a few weeks. I felt much better now that he had told me some more things about him.

"So you have two... two people inside of you, basically?" I chewed, holding my hand over my mouth as I talked to him.

"Not necessarily," he shrugged. "Same soul, different body."

For some reason, I wasn't too unnerved about this piece of information, it was definitely strange, but after hearing about demons, about what Botan had told me about myself, I was open to the possibility. Shuichi wasn't one to prank me, if he told me this, it was true.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like you were not my friend," he said. "You have made both me and my mother very happy, Satomi."

I smiled as I chewed. Lunch was very nice because I felt like he was my friend still, especially more since he had shared intimate things how I shared with him, and the day went by just fine, the same as it always did.

When school let out, I waited a few minutes for either Yusuke or Kuwabara at the entrance, but I guess they didn't know what time I got out or were having trouble getting here. I stayed put, because I would thought I'd get them in trouble if I moved. Or maybe I was supposed to meet them at my home… Many of the people were gone by the time I decided I should start walking home.

I began walking home, taking the same route as always, when a presence came from behind me, unfamiliar and unsettling. I turned to look over my shoulder as a hand wrapped around my mouth, a cloth... Before I could scream, I had inhaled the smell emitting from the cloth, becoming dizzy and tired, blacking out quickly.

* * *

All sense of time lost, I awoke in a strange room. I looked arond, confused, to find a young girl with blue hair and red eyes… it reminded me of Botan. I was still dizzy and partially unconscious when I tried to sit up. But I felt heavy and… I couldn't move. The girl noticed me and ran towards me, kneeling on the ground. Tunnel vision, everything echoed as she asked if I was okay, asking why I was here, she was worried and frantic. If I hadn't been so drained, my anxiety would have spiked, but my eyes closed on their own and sleep consumed me once more.


	4. Asleep From Day

My stomach chruned when I became fully conscious. My body was still numb, my limbs didn't work as they should have, like I was lying on pins and needles. It took me a while to realize I wasn't at home, my anxiety spiked as I remembered seeing the blue haired girl in this room. My eyes darted around the room in search of her, finding her sitting in a chair next to a barred window.

"Are you better?" She noticed me and smiled.

"Yeah…" I was wary of her, unsure if she was the one who brought me here or…

"Do you know why you're here?" She asked.

"No… where am I?"

The girl shook her head and looked back out the window, "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure."

"Why are you here?" Before she could answer, the door across the room opened. A large, msucular man came in with someone attached to his body…hanging onto him. After he stepped inside, a fat old man walked in with a lit cigar, taking his place behind the intimidating man.

"Oh, good," he seemed happy as the smoke surrounded him, "You're awake."

I said nothing in response, waiting for him to continue.

"My name is Tarukane, and I have a wonderful job for you," his voice was becoming slimier with each word. "You're the perfect girl to do it."

I remembered what Botan had told me, and I stayed quiet. I was going to play dumb about knowing about what I could supposedly do—because I couldn't do it anyways. If I mentioned it, he'd suspect that I was just choosing to not using my powers, when, really, I didn't know how to use them.

And, remembering Botan's and Shuichi's words, he might kill me for it.

"You see her?" The old man pointed to the blue haired girl and the larger man walked over to her, grabbing birds that perched next to her on the window sill.

By the way she cried and begged the larger man to stop crushing one when he grabbed it, the birds were her friends. I watched as he crushed the bird with his hand, throwing the crushed corpse and remains against the window. She began crying, her tears turned solid as they left her eyes, bouncing slightly as they fell to the ground.

"She's an ice demon, an apparition" said the old man. "And I need you…"

He came over and grabbed my face by the cheeks, forcing me to look at her.

"To find the rest of her family that are like her."

I jerked away from his hold and stared at the girl.

"I don't know how to do that," I said quietly.

"Then I guess we'll force it out of you," he said.

I watched as the larger man walked towards the blue haired girl, and panic ensued within me, voices began flooding into my head as my anxiety spiked. The larger man yanked her up from her chair by her arm and started gripping her tightly.

I ran to the window, my legs pushing my body. My mind was blank, working on autopilot. The window had a wooden barricade, and I rammed my elbow through it, shattering the glass. I couldn't feel the pain yet, I was too preoccupied with protecting the blue haired girl. The smaller man's hand stretched over to grab me, yanking me away from the window. But I grabbed a piece of broken glass in time, gripping it as if my life depended on it. Sharp edges cut into the palm of my hand, spilling blood. I whipped around, placing it against my captured arm, digging it into my wrist.

"Do it and I'll kill myself," I pressed the piece of glass against my wrist, drawing blood. "I know how to cut it so you can't save me..."

The voices started egging me on, and then the suicidal thoughts came quickly. The larger man had put his hands around her neck when I was grabbing the glass, but he slowly began to let her go. Tarukane was mumbling under his breath, wondering why his key to success was "a suicidal bitch."

"Now, now," he said calmly, trying to compose himself. "We'll figure out a way. All right?"

My body began shaking violently, the glass continued to dig deeper into my skin, dragging downwards without my control.

"We'll talk something over," he tried to talk me out of killing myself. He didn't want his money to leave. "I'll come back with some offers, dear."

He ordered the larger man to let the girl go and the smaller man's grip on my hand loosened, and they all soon left the room. The girl and I stood in silence for a while, and I couldn't stop shaking, I couldn't put down the glass. The voices were back and they didn't want to leave.

_Kill yourself or they'll come back._

_If you don't kill yourself, they'll come back for her._

_It'll be your fault if they come back._

The girl saw I couldn't put down the glass, my grip had tightened around it more, blood began dripping onto the ground like a leaky faucet. I was staring at my wrist and the glass kept inching in deeper, slowly.

"Please stop," she cried.

I wanted to but I couldn't.

"Please stop hurting yourself," she kept crying.

I could hear the dropping of the spheres as she continued to cry.

I clutched the glass, and it cut deeper into my palm. Soon, after fighting against my head, I slowly inched it away as best I could.

There's this lack of control when it comes to voices. The things or situations may not be there, or may not really be happening, but you feel it's real because they tell you it's there or happening. So you listen to them, you believe them. You're absolutely convinced.

I dropped the glass and started shaking harder, and she guided me to the bed I was once lying on. Blood kept spilling from my wrist and hand, my body continued to shake as the voices continued. I couldn't control my anxiety, and there was blood everywhere. Blood. My stomach began to churn as my body was sent into shock.

"What can I do to help?" She was so scared for me, and I felt bad for making her witness this.

"Leave," I choked out a cry of anxiety. "Me alone."

For the next half hour, I tried not listening to the voices, I tried pushing them away, and I was soon able to stop shaking as hard. Eventually, the voices began to subside. I was mentally and physically exhausted, and the sheets were the only comfort I had in this mess. I soon closed my eyes, and wasn't able to open them again.

* * *

When I woke up, I noticed my hand and wrist weren't bleeding anymore. It had begun to heal, there was scabbing, almost scar tissue had taken its place. My wrist and hands were clean of blood, the girl had probably healed me. After being told about Shuichi and a demon fox residing in his body, someone with the ability to heal seemed perfectly rational.

I sat up on the bed and looked at the forming scar tissues on my wrist. I knew instantly if I survived this I'd be sent to a rehabilitation program again if anyone were to see these wounds.

"How are you feeling?" The girl's voice caught my attention again, and my eyes trailed over to see her back in her chair near the broken window.

"I'm fine," I kept my reply quiet, unsure of if they were watching us. "How long was I asleep?"

"Not long," She replied looking out the window at the sky. "Maybe a few hours."

The sky from the window enveloped her in an purple, almost navy blue hue, the sun was close to setting, all traces of orange were set on the horizon far away, covered by trees in the distance.

"What's your name?" I asked.

She turned and smiled, "Yukina."

"Satomi," I returned her smile.

"Thank you for helping me earlier," she started. "I really appreciate it. But I wish you didn't have to hurt yourself."

"It's not exactly something I intended on following through with…"

She looked at me, puzzled, and then said, "Why are your nails pink?"

"Hm?"

"Are you sick?"

I laughed, the mood had been instantly lifted in the room, she was so cute. She obviously hadn't been to the human world before.

"No," I finished laughing. "It's called nail polish. It's like make-up."

"Oh," she said and I walked over to show her my nails. She looked at them with wonder, I wasn't sure if she was amazed at the concept or the color. Because it was a really beautiful color.

"If I had my bag I'd let you pick a color," I sighed.

She looked a bit disappointed as I asked her, "Why do they keep you here?"

She looked away and at the floor, the spheres that had come out of her eyes were on the ground still, untouched. I noticed them, picking some of them up.

"They are hiruseki stones," she whispered. "They make them rich."

Anger bubbled in my chest as I understood what that meant for her, they kept her here, tormented her into crying, doing god knows what to her. Without thinking, I picked all the gems up and threw them out the hole in the window I created. She looked scared and worried when I had done that, and only seconds later the larger man from earlier came inside.

"Promise me something," I whispered as she looked up at me. "Don't cry."

She reminded me of myself. A doormat, someone who let others disrespect and use her because she just wanted to be nice to everyone and not hurt anybody. I was enraged when I knew why they kept her here, and she didn't fight back or try to escape. I wanted to do something, but I was powerless. The only thing I could do was threaten my life since they needed me to find others like Yukina. So they would do what I wanted.

And I wasn't afraid to kill myself if they didn't comply.

"Come," The larger man grabbed my arm, yanking me away from Yukina.

I turned to her as I walked alongside him, my arm pulled upwards in a dominating angle, and mouthed to her, "I'll be back for you."

She seemed sad, disappointed, as if she knew I wouldn't come back. But I was determined to come back for her, even if I had to escape and find help first. His grip tightened as he dragged me down hallways, corridors, and elevators, until we reached a steel door. I waited patiently, though nerve-wracked inside, for him to open the door, and as I was pushed inside, I noticed the large window along the wall adjacent to me that showed the inside of an arena.

The room was empty, aside from the technology and the spectating seats situated in front of the window.

I stood still, waiting, until the fat, old man walked in again.

He walked past me, seating his fat ass in one of the luxury chairs in front of the window, "Watch this fight."

I looked back out the window and saw Yusuke and Kuwabara, nobody else. There was no fight.

Had they come for me? They could help Yukina!

I ran for the door, ramming my shoulder into it, jiggling the handle simultaneously, but it was locked, and there was no padlock for me to deal with.

"Sit down, girl," he ordered as the door opened.

The larger man from before threw Yukina at me from the entrance, and we collapsed to the ground in a tangled mess as the door closed again.

We sat up and I looked to her, whispering to her about Yusuke and Kuwabara, "We'll get out of here now."

I stood up helping her to her feet as we saw the fat man's two henchmen down in the arena with Yusuke and Kuwabara.

"You both will make us some fine money," the fat man smiled, his voice cunning, as if he had planned for this his whole life, and the only roadblock to his siccess were those two boys. "After we get rid of them."

I looked over at the fight that was about to ensue, hoping they would win. If they lost, I didn't know what I'd do to get out to help. Obviously I couldn't fight, but I had to do something... But I couldn't. Watching them fight, I wondered where Shuichi was. Was he on his way to help?

Was he going to come?

_He's right there._

But he wasn't.

_He's right there, and he's leaving. He's not here to save you. He doesn't care. He's here to say goodbye._

But he's not…

My head continued its delusion, convincing me he wasn't here to help me and he was saying goodbye. To leave me here with them.

I started shaking again as my anxiety of the false situation increased, and Yukina put her hand on mine to try and comfort me. I wondered if she understood what was happening with me. Luckily, voices weren't horrid and barely present. It's as if they decided to give me a break today. But what my head had already convinced me of was enough to spike my anxiety sky high. Tears started falling quickly because I was convinced Shuichi was really leaving me here, mascara and eyeliner stained my cheeks as Yukina's grip tightened.

"If only your tears produced gems as well," the old man laughed. "Knowing your friends are going to lose makes you feel horrible, doesn't it?"

I turned away from the fight; I didn't want to see anything. I couldn't see anything anyways as the tears clogged my view. There were crashes and rumblings; I could feel the vibrations under my feet coming from the arena. But the loud crash in the room we were in startled me and took me out of my trance for a moment.

My heart beat harder now, anxiety threatening to creating irregular breathing. I looked around the room and saw the dented door sliding down the wall onto the floor. The old man looked surprised, startled more so, he quickly looked over to the arena and saw his henchmen were defeated. Through watered eyes, I looked around the room, finding Hiei entering, Shuichi followed behind him, and my heart beat began to return to normal.

But after my head telling me what it already had, I was convinced the words out of his mouth were going to be 'goodbye.'

I focused on Shuichi while I heard dialogue between Hiei, the old man, and Yukina.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

And I didn't want to respond. I didn't want him to say goodbye. He put his hands on my shoulders, inspecting me, looking for harm. He saw my wrist and my hand.

"What happened?" He felt me shaking slightly under his hands. "Come, let's go home."

I looked up, surprised but relieved that my head was wrong, relief washed over me as I heard those words. As he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, I turned around slightly, viewing the dialogue between Yukina and Hiei as he continued to threaten the old man. A strange presence between the two of them ensued as I left the room, walking alongside Shuichi.

* * *

Shuichi had spent the rest of the day with me at home, consoling me for what had happened. He was worried about me since I had developed suicidal tendencies years ago. But I reassured him that I was okay, it was the spur of the moment and the situation that pushed me to the edge. Hiei and him agreed that Shuichi would take care of me the next night, so we'd be following our supposed routine until tomorrow night where I would spend the night at Shuichi's so we could start the training.

Later that night, Shuichi left, and it was only Hiei and I.

I wondered what his conversation between him and Yukina was about.

After I had showered, I sat on my bed, resting my back on the wall near the window, where Hiei sat on the sill looking out at the city. I finished drying my hair with the towel and threw it into the dirty clothes hamper across the room.

After staring at my cuts, I looked up at Hiei who was staring down at me. He was also looking at my cuts. I knew what he thought of me at that point. That I was just mentally unstable (which I was), and nothing else. I was mentally unstable... but there was more to me than that. I just wish I was able to show other attributes of me, but I was often unable to do that due to my schizophrenia controlling my life. I stared at him, and when he looked up to meet my eyes there was nothing but disgust.

"Get out," I whispered.

"Hn," he said, looking back out the window. He knew he couldn't leave because he wouldn't be doing his job, even though I know he wanted to leave more than anything. "I want to, girl. More than you know."

"Then leave," My voice became sharp.

"Are the voices telling you to say that?" He mocked me.

And I'd had it.

"GET OUT," I screeched, tears falling down my face instantly. "I'll be damned if I'm disrespected in my own home. Get OUT! I might as well have stayed in that fucking prison. To come home and be mocked in my own room. I might as well have stayed there and have been disrespected in the same way."

He stared at me a while longer and then got off the window sill and left my room, closing the door behind himself as he exited. I stayed in the same position for a few good minutes, crying. I was absorbing everything that had happened so far, absorbing everything that my head had done and said so far. And then I remembered him mocking me. And I lay down on my bed, and slowly stopped crying. I was eventually able to fall asleep.

* * *

The next morning I woke up with a headache. I groaned and rubbed my eyes. Rolling over, I saw Hiei sitting on the window sill. I didn't think much of it until I remembered what he'd said to me last night.

"Why the hell are you still here?" I asked quietly.

"Doing my job," he scoffed.

I reached over to the nightstand next to my bed and grabbed my phone, "Well you can leave. I don't want you here."

"When you leave for school, I'll leave," he reassured me.

"I'm not going to school," I mumbled, dialing Shuichi's number.

The phone rang a few times, and then Shuichi picked up.

"I'm not going to school today," I said.

"I figured you wouldn't," he replied. "But you will be coming tonight, right?"

"Yeah," I replied quietly.

"Hiei will continue to watch you?"

"Can someone else?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I don't think anyone's going to kidnap me today... He doesn't need to be here."

"Satomi," he sighed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I replied. "I'll see you tonight."

I hung up and turned to Hiei. "You can leave."

But he didn't budge. So I found the remote on the nightstand, grabbed it, and turned around so my back was against the wall. I turned on the TV and found some cartoons I use to watch. I had refrained from watching TV when he was here before because I didn't want to irritate him, but now I didn't care. I was hoping he would leave when he saw the cartoons I was watching. But he didn't budge.

"Explain it to me," he said out of the blue about a half an hour later.

"Excuse me?"

"Your head," he said. "Explain it to me."

"So you can mock me?" I scoffed, mimicking him. "No."

Another half hour passed and I decided that if he really cared, he would listen. And I would learn that either this was his way of apologizing, or this was him being a completely horrible person.

"For me, It's a feeling of...I guess you can say it's a lack of control," I started. Out of my peripheral view, I saw him look over to me. "It's like... I pick up a clean cup from the dishwasher. I see it's clean. It's obviously clean. But my head tells me it's not. It tells me it's dirty and hasn't been washed. It convinces me that."

My arms wrapped around my legs as they pulled up against my chest, "Even though I clearly just saw it was clean, I've been convinced it's not. For some people it gets more extreme, and you here other voices telling you things. They can tell you mean things, or nice things, or just random things. It's another voice aside from your own inside your head telling you things, talking to you."

I paused, realizing I needed to clarify something, "Sometimes its your own voice. It's a spectrum, it's never the same."

I looked over to him and down at the cut on my wrist.

"I knew they wouldn't come back in the room," I explained to him. "I knew they wouldn't. But the voices said they would, they had convinced me that they would come back in and kill her if I didn't kill myself."

"You hear others?" He asked.

"A lot of them," I nodded. "Some people only have a few voices or people talking to them. I have a lot... I can't differentiate who is saying things to me. They're all different voices and different genders, but they all say the same horrible things all the time."

"Why can't you not listen to them?" He asked.

"It's hard not to..." I tried. "You're really convinced by what they're saying."

He stayed quiet and I turned back to watching TV. Another half hour passed and he sat down on the bed next to me.

"Do you like this show?" I asked.

"No."

But he sat next to me anyways, watching it. I figured this was his way of apologizing to me.


	5. Learning to Drown

**A/N: **If anyone's _really_ that upset over Satomi's character, I'm sorry you know nothing about the process of character development. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoys these continuing chapters. c:

* * *

I watched TV for the next few hours and Hiei sat next to me silently. We had a mutual agreement to stay silent, and every time I broke that agreement, his response was curt. It was unappealing to talk to him, to say the least. Around noon, I got up to make some late breakfast. He stayed in my room. And I wondered why he bothered to ask me things if he wasn't going to talk to me, or he was going to talk to me, why he was rude about it with such curt answers.

I figured this was just how he was.

After I finished cooking, I set his plate down across from me on the table again. I ate alone, though, and was thinking again about what had happened over the past few days. I thought about what he said to me last night, and I almost got up and threw the food I had made for him away, extremely bitter over his mocking me, but I realized something.

I looked at my cracked open door from where I sat at the table, and wondered why he watched TV with me afterwards even though he hated the shows. Maybe he realized how much of a prick he was and knew he deserved it, I thought as I chewed. I wondered if he was going to come out and eat. He always ate when I wasn't around, and I was staying until later tonight before I left to Shuichi's. He would go without food for another few hours.

I finished eating and set my dishes in the dishwasher, and washed the other dishes.

I heard my bedroom door open, squeaking slightly among padded footsteps.

"I'll go to Shuichi's earlier," I said.

"Do you even understand what you'll be doing?" He asked.

His voice wasn't as snide as it was before.

"No," I replied.

"Do you have any control over your head?"

"No."

He was about to ask something else and I interrupted him.

"How do you know Yukina?" I asked, scrubbing a pan. I turned to see his reaction and he stared blankly at me. He didn't reply. "She reminds me of you in a strange way."

This boy didn't have facial expressions. I turned back to the sink and continued scrubbing.

"She's my sister," he admitted. And I snorted a laughed.

"No way," I turned to him, laughing. "You two don't even seem like you'd be related! She's so sweet and you're a prick!"

I laughed for a while longer, and calmed down. I turned off the water when I had finished washing them.

"Does she know?" I asked, chuckling my words.

He stayed silent again.

"I'll take that as a no?"

"She wouldn't want a criminal for a brother," he said.

I dried my hands on a towel, "She's too nice to hold anything against you."

No reply. I walked past him into my room to find my phone and texted Shuichi, asking when he'd be out and if he was able to leave earlier.

"You're a fairly good guy," I said with my back turned to him. "If you weren't, you wouldn't have watched kid cartoons with me."

He stayed silent because he knew I was right.

"I hope you'll tell her," I said quietly as Shuichi replied to my text. "She seemed very lonely."

I read over Shuichi's text and sighed.

"He needs you to come," I turned to him.

He stepped out of my room and I got changed into some black leggings and a baggy, light blue sweatshirt of a University of California my parents had sent to me. I walked out and put on my beige moccasins, I wasn't taking anything but my phone.

"Will I meet you there?" I asked Hiei.

He didn't reply as I went over to the sliding glass door to make sure it was locked. But I felt his hand on my back. The sliding door opened and I was shoved outside, and almost instantly I felt his arms wrap around my waist as I saw the road a few stories down. Mostly everything I saw was a blur, his movement was too quick for me to pick up. We arrived at Shuichi's in a matter of minutes, our destination was his window sill.

"He's not home yet," I looked inside the window. "I need to go inside through the front door. Mom will think it's weird if I go in without saying hi."

His arm wrapped around my waist again as my feet suddenly touched the ground of the first floor. I stood in front of the front door, confused, until I realized that Hiei had dropped me off. To me, it was as if we were teleporting, I couldn't keep up with his movement, and I probably never would. I looked up at him from the first floor as I rang the doorbell, waiting for Mom to answer. The door opened quickly, and her arms wrapped around me, embracing me tightly. I hugged her back as she asked me how I was doing and if I was okay. I told her I was fine as we went inside.

"Shuichi isn't home yet," she said as we walked into the kitchen.

"It's okay," I pulled the sleeves over my wrist so she wouldn't notice anything. "My psychiatrist has some exercises for me to try."

"That's great," she said, "Is Shuichi going to help you with them?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"That's great," she smiled. "He should be home soon."

"I'm going up into his room," I said awkwardly, my voice paused in the middle of words. It felt weird lying to her, "I have a present I want to surprise him with."

She nodded as I went upstairs to let Hiei in through the window. He stepped inside and I closed Shuichi's bedroom door.

"Do you have any idea what we're going to be doing?" I asked.

"Whatever it is, it won't be intense," he replied. "He'll probably have you work on distinguishing auras before you work on your head."

"I wonder why he asked you to come," I wondered aloud.

It wasn't meant to be rude, but I assume Hiei took it rudely as he replied.

"Want your alone time with your boyfriend?"

My face contorted into disgust. That was honestly gross to me. Shuichi was like an older brother, someone I cared deeply about…but not like _that_.

"No," I said quietly. "He's almost like a brother to me. I've known him for too long to think about him like that."

At that moment, I got a text from Shuichi, and I heard the front door open. I was going to reply to him to let him know I was in his room, but Mom had already told him. He came up to his room soon after and closed the door.

"So where's my surprise?" He smiled.

"Oh, that was a lie," I said casually.

"How have you been holding up?" He asked as he took off his school jacket.

"Fine," I replied honestly. "It's as if my head's giving me a break."

"Good, you need it to behave today since you'll be focusing on how to distinguish auras."

I smiled slyly and looked at Hiei, who shared the same smile as me. I saw the look on Shuichi's face; I knew he realized whatever problem I had with Hiei had been squashed.

"An aura," Shuichi started, "Is… like someone's energy. The energy that they emit. It's different for everyone. For example, Hiei."

Shuichi sat down on his chair in front of the desk in his room and Hiei walked up close to me. Too close. I could see the design of his irises. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing, but as I looked at Hiei, I noticed things about him I hadn't before. The shape of his face, the small curve of his nose…

He was an attractive boy, but his attitude wasn't exactly welcoming.

"Close your eyes, girl," Hiei said. "You can't concentrate on anything while you're thinking of something else."

I closed my eyes as I waited for another instruction, but I understood what Shuichi was saying after a minute. I could feel a presence, something of a force. Being enveloped in a pool, a force that took hold of you, an invisible presence.

"Memorize that," Shuichi said quietly.

I listened to him, memorizing the way Hiei's presence felt against me, how I felt when I recognized his presence. I felt Hiei step away. And the door opened. I kept my eyes closed and felt a soft, gentle presence fill the room.

"Oh!" I heard Mom say. "I'm sorry. Is this part of your exercise? I'll leave."

I heard the door close again and I opened an eye to peer over to Shuichi. He looked at me questioningly.

"I said that you were helping me with some therapy exercises my psychiatrist assigned to me," I explained quietly. I saw Shuichi nod; it was a good cover up. The only thing that was false about it was that they weren't exercises prescribed by my psychiatrist. So I technically wasn't lying.

"Mom has a nice presence," I said. "It's gentle."

Shuichi smiled because I was catching on.

"Focus on me," he said as I closed my eyes.

I tried finding another presence in the room, and I found a faint, calm aura.

"We'll work on this for the next few days."

* * *

Months passed, and the cherry blossoms had died. Summer was ending and fall was on its way. The leaves were becoming a brown color, and it reminded me of my parents. While I was cooking breakfast, I waited for Hiei. He still wouldn't eat in front of me, but at least he would talk to me more often. Our time spent together wasn't as horrible anymore now that he would be less condescending to me while we talked, even if it was briefly. He would even help out when I had an episode that I couldn't control. He would reassure me that everything was in my head.

Well it wasn't very caring the way he did it, it was actually very condescending. But I knew him enough from how he acted. I knew that if he didn't care he wouldn't say anything at all. So there was progress with some form of friendship.

I had also gotten much better at controlling my head and differentiating what was my head and what was a connection to the Makai. I was surprised to find out the most horrible things that I've had to deal with were really my schizophrenia. The other things I heard were thoughts and conversations. Today, I was supposed to help with an assignment on finding someone. I was going to be tested on whether or not I have grown spiritually.

Shuichi was worried and wasn't happy about my tagging along to the Makai. He and I both know I may not be able to handle the environment and I may slip into an episode with the stress and anxiety of being put in danger. But I was determined to prove I was stronger. Even now, I was better at ignoring the voices taunts and jeers. I had set the plate down and I heard them talk to me.

_There's hair in the food._

_He'll think you're disgusting._

_He'll hate you._

_You're a disgusting bitch._

I realized it was my head, and that was comforting in a way. To know what was happening in my head when they wanted to talk to me. I was beginning to distinguish who the voices were, and I was able to distinguish who was saying what. I still had episodes from how disgusting the voices could get, but I was managing them better now. As I sat down to eat, trying my best not to dump what was on his plate and make him a new one because they were convincing me my hair was in it, I saw him standing in front of the table. I looked warily at the plate as he walked over to see what I had made.

"If I didn't know any better," he started. "I'd think you poisoned my food."

I dug into my breakfast and asked, "What am I supposed to be doing today?"

He looked out the sliding glass door from where he stood and ignored my question.

"You need to say something if you're going to have an episode," he said looking back at me. And I looked up at him as I chewed. "None of that silent shaking shit."

I was worried because it was very possible that I would spiral into one if it got dangerous. We had worked on differentiating between voices and finding auras, not putting me into a battlefield and finding someone. There was a new exercise where I'd be asked to locate someone I knew, both times I practiced, it was Hiei, and I'd find him around the city by searching for his aura. I had done it twice, I had barely touched on finding people a few days ago.

"I'll try," I mumbled, because we both know I couldn't promise that.

But I would try my best, because I didn't want to live my life according to my mental illness.


	6. You Win Some, You Lose More

"I can't do this," I said to Hiei. I felt my anxiety closing my throat and I was shaking. The voices were coming, and they weren't bad at first but they progressed and became horrible. Maybe it was because of the Yokai who were closing in on us, or maybe it was the fact that this was a completely new and dangerous environment I was in. Maybe it was both.

"I can't do this," I grabbed his sleeve, needing something to hold onto. I was hyperventilating as the Yokai closed in. I felt the environment around me closing in.

"Let go, Yue," he snapped at me as he yanked his arm from my grip. I immediately clutched onto my own arms and could feel myself shaking furiously. They said horrible things that got worse and dirtier…disgusting things were being said. The voices got louder as the Yokai crept closer.

* * *

_Earlier._

"This…" Koenma said as he slapped a folder on his table. Everything was new to me, I watched as ogres and demons walked by next to beautiful girls in kimonos. I had accustomed myself to focusing on presences, when I heard voices I would be able to tell where they were coming from, if I was in the room with someone new I would learn their aura. But this was so overwhelmingly new I was having trouble concentrating. I couldn't stop all the new feelings, the environment, from overwhelming me. Luckily, it wasn't mentally distressing; it was just a hindrance in my paying attention. I finally paid attention after I remembered he was telling me the objective. "He's under trial and has escaped."

"I didn't think this place would have trials," I said quietly as I picked up the file.

"He's a human," Koenma explained, but not exactly answering my question. "He's committed a serious felony and has escaped here. I have some ties with the human world and those involved with this case, and am obligated to have him returned."

I looked at him and wondered what usually happened in this place. If there were rules or regulations.

"You will bring him back alive," Koenma said looking to Hiei. "And as unharmed as possible."

"Shuichi and the others aren't coming?" I asked, figuring as such since only Hiei and I had arrived and were present.

"No," he replied. "This is to see how you've progressed. If you have done well and will show the capability of continuing to improve, then if you are willing to you can be offered a permanent position. Hiei is here to assist and protect you on your mission."

I wasn't exactly into this as a job; I was trying to help myself and my schizophrenia. I had planned my life around college. I wanted to go to America, in California to UC Davis or maybe Harvard on the east coast, so I could study medicine. This was not what I wanted to do as a job. I looked through the file and found his face and name. Koenma sat some gloves down next to a clear evidence bag that held a bloody shirt.

"I'm assuming you learned how to pick up on one's whereabouts through items they held," he said.

I put on the gloves and took out the shirt. "I just started picking up on that…" I said honestly.

It wasn't so much learning their whereabouts, I was able to pick up their aura from their items and keep it with me. It was like a game of hot and cold. Once I concentrated on an aura, I could pick up on their aura, no matter how far they were. I figured with practice it could be possible for me to focus in on their exact location, to literally see them and their whereabouts in something of a vision.

"Kurama told me there's a possibility of you being able to read minds," Koenma said gravely.

I looked up, surprised. Shuichi hadn't mentioned that to me. As far as I was concerned, my picking up on Yokai was about syncing into the spirit world and beyond, not reading their minds. I silently shook my head, confused and unable to answer him. Koenma shrugged and said good luck.

I clutched the shirt one last time before putting it back into the bag. I focused on the aura with the man's face and name in mind. I wondered how I would fair today.

* * *

_Currently._

"Low class demons," Hiei muttered. "A waste of time."

I backed up against the tree in the woods and covered my eyes with my arms, seeing them was inducing more and more voices. Voices from my head and from this realm... But in mere seconds, some of the voices stopped. There were a few left, ones that were actually caused by my schizophrenia. My anxiety was still running rampant, but I looked up and moved my arms away to see the mangled bodies lay across the forest floor. I gagged and felt my breakfast try to creep its way up my throat. Luckily, I hadn't thrown up. I watched Hiei swipe the air with his sword and blood flung off it to the ground. He walked over after sheathing his sword. I was still shaking, but most of the voices were disappearing so anxiety and adrenaline were really all that was left. I wiped the building tears out of my eyes and tried calming down. I slowly took deep breaths to calm down and rid myself of the anxiety and ignored the taunts of the voices.

_You're worthless._

_Look at you, you useless piece of shit._

He held out his hand and I shakily took it to stand up. I kept trying to ignore the voices, but I was still shaking a bit.

"Their voices stopped," I said, slowly turning to the mangled bodies. I looked away quickly because I couldn't bear to see that. I felt faint at the sight of the blood and their mangled...bodies... I hadn't let go of Hiei's hand, I was gripping it tightly because I was still in some shock. But I let go when I realized I was still holding on to it. I concentrated on the fugitive's aura again to trace where he was. "He's about 50 kilometers north. He's moving."

I looked to Hiei and asked, "Couldn't you do this?"

"What you're doing now, yes," he replied. "But Koenma wouldn't entertain this if you didn't have room to grow."

"I think Shuichi was right," I said. What he said made me think of what had just happened with the voices. He was about to use his speed to take us to the fugitive, but he stopped. "I think I did read minds."

He looked at me skeptically and asked "Can you read mine?"

"No," I replied honestly. I was confused. Because the moment they were killed, those voices stopped.

He didn't say anything. He merely picked me up and we traveled closer to the destination.

"He's still moving," I noted. And Hiei slowed down. I hopped out of his arms and looked around for why he stopped. There was a large city in the distance.

"Demon city," he said to me. "We shouldn't spend time in there."

"That's where he is," I mumbled.

"You're not going in there."

"This is my mission," I said quietly, determined to better myself. "You're not doing it for me."

He scoffed, "As if you could survive in there. You're a walking target."

"Then what do you propose?" I asked as I adjusted my black sweatpants.

"His exact spot, you can't be in there for long."

I'd never done that before, so I wasn't sure what to do. I sat down in the grass and closed my eyes. I felt Hiei lean against a tree behind me and I began to block his aura from my senses. Shuichi had usually walked me through locating and differentiating auras. I was on my own now. I concentrated on the man's aura, keeping his face in mind as I located him. Mentally, a picture formed in my head of dark silhouettes with auras around them. The background was black, I couldn't place him. But it was the form of a man, the fugitive. He was in a room with a demon. I watched as they moved and interacted, I could hear mumbles from their silhouettes of their conversations.

I opened my eyes and the mental image disappeared and the voices lingered, but faded away soon after. It was progress but it wasn't what I needed.

"Well?" He asked.

"He's in the western part of the city," I replied. "But I don't have an exact location. I don't think I can do that..."

"If you couldn't handle being near those low class demons in the forest, you won't be able to handle the ones who lurk in there."

I looked into the distance at the city and Hiei walked up beside me. "You _will_ have an episode in there," he scoffed. "And you'll spiral downwards and become completely useless."

"I know," I said calmly. He was right. I could feel the tension in my chest when I looked over to the city. I could hear whispers from my head right now, to be honest. "But this is my test..."

He stared at me and looked back at the the city. "You won't step foot in there until you find his exact location."

I adjusted the grey spaghetti-strapped shirt I wore and got comfortable in the grass again. I was determined to find him. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the aura again. I began to feel lightheaded because I was concentrating so hard. But the silhouettes became clearer. The auras were becoming more defined and I could see the man becoming clearer. But it was becoming hard to breathe, I was becoming lightheaded and faint. I surrounded the area focusing on the auras and was closing in. Finally, I saw his location. I could hear the conversations. He was working for someone. They were waiting for a statue of limitations, he would reside here until it passed for a price.

I quit locating him because it was getting too hard to breathe. I almost fell over but Hiei put his hand on my shoulder to keep me from falling.

I calmed down to breathe and tried ignoring the voices that were coming. "He's working for someone," I said, running my fingers through my hair to push it out of my face. "He's in a pub underground. There are a few demons in there with him."

Hiei stayed silent, working out a plan. I stayed sitting down, catching my breath. I listened around us, wondering if any other demons would come like they had in the forest.

_They're coming._

Instinctly, I began tugging on a lock of my hair. I didn't realize how hard I was pulling it, but Hiei slapped my hand away.

"Yue," he snapped at me. I noticed lately he was calling me by my last name instead of 'girl.' "If you even draw blood they'll flock here."

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me up from the ground so I could stand straight. He held onto my wrist to stop me from pulling again. It was a way I had been dealing with the voices; one time I pulled some hair out and it wouldn't stop bleeding for hours.

"This has to be done quickly," he said. "Once they smell you, we'll have a horde to deal with."

* * *

He set me down behind a large rock building. There was an entrance to the underground pub behind a large boulder that was situated a few feet away against the building. I could feel the auras below, how many demons were in the room and where they were. I felt that there were too many for Hiei to take on alone at once, so I proposed an idea. I tied my hair up into a bun so it wouldn't get in the way. Hiei moved the boulder enough to let me slip through and enter the passage. One of the demons had heard the boulder move and came to see who was coming in, and found me. I knew I would be fine but my anxiety still kicked in and I started shaking. I could hear the voices again. Most of them were from my head.

"A human girl," the demon laughed. "You must be lost."

He was talking to me like I was a child, and creeping in on me. The voices got louder, but it wasn't as scary as the first time back in the forest because I knew to differentiate the auras. I wasn't as new to this environment anymore, I was adjusting. I backed up, walking backwards the way I came because I didn't want to go in any farther. I also had to lead him away from the staircase since it lead back to the pub where the rest of them were.

"What are you doing here?" He growled, grabbing me. He was large, very large. His hand grabbed me by the arm and yanked me closer to him and up from the ground. He slammed my back into the wall and winded me. I had trouble breathing from the impact. Only seconds after, I fell to the ground on my bottom. Blood splattered onto my grey tank top and I gagged. I saw the body cut in half. I wasn't used to this. Hiei hid in the shadows as we heard some other demons running to the hallway. They had heard the commotion. I started crying again, but I wasn't shaking. I was in too much shock to move at the moment. But I tried to get up anyways. I held onto the wall and slowly pulled myself up as three other demons came into the hallway. Hiei wasn't worried, so that made me feel better. But I still couldn't talk. I just kept focusing on the fugitive, where he was in the room. He was leaving, he was asking for another way out. I looked to Hiei in the shadows, worried. But I blew his cover, the demons had seen him because of me.

He cussed under his breathe. "Go."

Two of the demons headed for Hiei, and I focused on getting into the pub itself but the last demon stood in the way. He cornered me against the wall and swung his large fist at my head. I gasped and ducked. I was in complete shock and didn't want to move. I wanted to curl up into a ball and pretend this was all a dream, but my adrenaline was pushing me forward. I fell to the ground again and scrambled away by crawling underneath him between his legs. I stood up and ran into the pub since I only felt the fugitive in the room. It was still dangerous since I was practically defenseless, but I had to stall him. I picked up a empty glass on a table and threw it at his head. I missed, but the glass shattered and startled him, stalling him. I ran closer after picking up another empty glass, but I felt a pain in my head and I was lifted off the ground. Another demon had emerged. I hadn't sensed him in here...

He had picked me up by my hair, and I screamed out of instinct. I threw the glass at the fugitive to stall him again. All I could focus on was him staying inside. Because if he left we would have to go out into the city and we would have to deal with whatever demons may have been there. I didn't exactly want to find out or think about what was out there. My head and scalp was in pain as my hair was holding all of my weight and keeping me off the ground. He threw me into the wall next to the fugitive and I felt my shoulder crack. I couldn't move it without screaming in pain. But my adrenaline was pumping and I continued, despite the raging flare of pain in my shoulder... despite the voices getting louder and louder. This time it was my head...

I grabbed onto the fugitives foot with my good arm as he ran by me, and I tripped him. In that same second, I felt more blood splatter onto my shirt and then on my face. The last demon was killed. Hiei walked over and placed his sword to the fugitives neck when he was trying to get up. The fugitive stopped moving in fear for his life. I realized everything was over.

Everything was over.

That was quick... I looked around the pub and saw blood splattered around the pub, there were body parts cut clean off laying around the pub. My stomach was churning and the voices were getting louder. My vision started to blur because of the tears, and I tried to take deep breathes to stop myself from spiraling. I looked down at my clothes and saw all the blood splattered across my shirt. I began hyperventilating and trying to push away the noises but I couldn't. This was too much for me. I was in complete shock.

I leaned over and threw up next to myself on the ground. I stopped hyperventilating and crying, but I was still shaking when I tried standing up and the voices hadn't disappeared. I heard Hiei threatening the fugitive if he were to move. The fugitive listened because he saw how fast Hiei was; Hiei threatened how he wouldn't make it far before Hiei would find him and kill him. Hiei walked over to me and grabbed me as gentle as possible by my broken arm to help me up. He didn't realize it was broken... But I screamed in pain and yanked away from him. I was still crying, but there was so much going on that I didn't know what I was crying about anymore. It was just...everything that had happened.

"Shit," he sighed.


	7. California & the Slipping of the Sun

"You're not cut out for this work," he said to me as I lay in my bed after my hour long shower.

I had a splitting headache and had lost some hair in the bathroom from when I was picked up by my hair and held in the air earlier. My hair was fairly thick, but it was a bit thinner now, and though nobody else may notice, I did. Using my good arm, I rubbed my hair with the towel to help it dry faster and threw it across the room into the dirty clothes hamper.

"I know..." I replied, lying down on my good arm.

Unfortunately, I was facing him, and though it was dark, I could still see him from the moonlight that shone inside as he sat on my window sill like he always did.

"I didn't get into this so I could do work… I didn't think I'd be involved in that kind of stuff. I agreed because I wanted to help myself."

"At least you were able to do that," he scoffed.

He knew I had gotten better with my head and listening to the voices, but he was putting me down for throwing up and being scared in a situation that only happened in something like a horror movie. A situation I was only put in when I had nightmares. Just because he grew up living a life of fighting and peril didn't mean I was used to being put into those situations.

"Kurama babied you too much," he was blunt, and deserved to get slapped, but I had no energy and it would have been pointless.

"Fuck off."

I did much better than I thought I would have, but he put me down about it. I wanted to roll over and turn my back to him, but I couldn't since it hurt to put any pressure on my arm, so I laid in silence, trying falling asleep, but each time I closed my eyes I saw a mangled body, blood splattered everywhere.

I stayed up for the rest of the night and we didn't talk to each other once.

* * *

"Satomi!" Botan's voice carried into my room from behind the front door.

I was in my room lying on my bed still facing the wall, seeing the sunlight leak in past the slightly closed curtains. The sky was blue and cloudy, it was around nine AM now.

My left shoulder was injured and I couldn't put any pressure on or move it, so I had a bit of trouble getting up without hurting myself. I went to the front door to let Botan inside. She jumped inside, cheerful, as if she was excited to see me, but part of me felt it was just her personality.

I felt Hiei's presence leave my apartment as Botan continued to speak.

"I heard you did pretty great!" She smiled and touched my broken arm gently by my elbow where there was little pain. "For a human who's never seen anything like that before, you fared pretty good."

"Thanks…" I was quiet as I remembered throwing up after seeing all the blood and body parts.

I didn't exactly feel deserving of praise after Hiei knocking me down a peg last night.

I noticed she had a first aid kit in her other hand, and she twisted her smile to mirror a feline's as she lifted the box up to show me why she was here. We sat down on the couch in the living room as she changed my bandaging. Her hand hovered over my shoulder, and I realized like Yukina, she had some healing powers.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she removed her hand and began tightening the bandaging around my shoulder.

I gasped in pain and figured she wasn't referring to this, it must have been about what I had seen yesterday. I could sleep last night because I would keep having images of the mangled bodies appear in my head, I was scared only because my head now had new images to taunt me with.

"I'm fine considering the circumstances, I guess…" I replied.

My stomach didn't churn when I remembered being in the demon world, which was a good thing because I didn't want to throw up in my own apartment, that'd be a bitch to clean. But I still felt bad about my little mission, because Hiei hadn't said anything encouraging, and for some reason I had really looked forward to some encouragement from him, possibly because he wasn't the type to dole out compliments.

But then again, he wasn't exactly a nice person.

"You'll get used to it," Botan said happily, trying to cheer me on to continue what I was doing.

I hoped I wouldn't have to get used to it. I wanted to stop doing those things and just progress with myself and my head. She tugged onto the bandages again to tighten them and keep my arm in place. I gasped again, louder. She patted me on the shoulder after she had finished the bandaging, and I could feel my eyes swelling up with tears from the pain. I took deep breathes to stop myself from crying and Botan turned on the TV, easily making herself at home, though I didn't mind one bit.

When I had stopped the tears, I got up to make a late breakfast, asking her if she preferred anything. I didn't have to ask Hiei what he wanted because he'd eat almost anything I gave him. Well, as long as I wasn't in the room when he wanted to eat.

"Anything you want to make!" She was happy I was going to cook for her, like a child who was given their favorite candy. She came up to the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room and leaned against the edge and looked at my bandaged arm. "Are you sure you can cook, though?"

I nodded, "I can bend my arm. I just can't move it around or lift anything."

I used my good arm to get out the pans and rice steamer, and Botan came to help get the ingredients. We bonded. We cooked breakfast and talked about things, I asked about her job and what she worked as. She explained she was like a guide to the spirit world, a grim reaper. That unnerved me; I was about to eat breakfast with a grim reaper… Obviously, she wouldn't kill me. But that had to be a scary, depressing job.

Yet she was so happy.

"Tell me something I don't know about you, Satomi!" She said as she chewed her food.

"Um... Well, if I keep up my grades and pass my International Baccalaureate exams then I could receive early acceptance to a university in the next year and a half," I said. That was really all I had going right now besides this. I wasn't very interesting.

Botan's face changed to a serious, sad look and said, "Satomi, when you agreed to help, you agreed to help until you finished."

"What am I finishing?" I asked quietly, scared. "I haven't even started on anything."

"Whatever it is we need," Botan said. "You're a locator and we think you could read minds. You could be very useful."

"Hiei could do what I do," I said sadly, biting into my breakfast. That was my plan after high school: go to an amazing university somewhere and make something of myself. But it was being taken away from me. I didn't know what I was getting myself into...

"When you progress!" Botan said happily. "We're expecting you to be able to help us much more than we had originally planned."

"Couldn't I do that overseas?" I asked, hoping she'd say yes.

"Well, yes," she said, and I sighed in relief. "But we may call on you to come back to the spirit world or the Makai. And you would need to leave your obligations to come back."

"How long would I be helping you?"

Botan shrugged, "We won't know until you reach your full potential."

I figured the earlier I reached my full potential, the earlier I would be done with this and could move on with my life. Botan saw I was sad and changed the topic. We continued to talk about other things. I enjoyed talking to her because she was a cheerful, silly girl. Just being around her made me feel happy because she was so cheerful.

An hour had passed and Botan was getting ready to leave.

"You know," she said. "There is a way you can help yourself grow."

I looked at her, waiting.

"There's a tournament and—"

"No," I interrupted her. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"No," Botan said cheerfully, despite my rude interruption. "Obviously you can't fight in there. But you can grow spiritually. New auras, new environment. It can really help you improve, Satomi. You need experience in new environments with new auras. You can just tag along with us."

I thought about it and told Botan I'd let her know. We said goodbye and hugged, and I closed the door as she left. I looked around the apartment, expecting to feel Hiei's presence as I usually did. But he was gone. I was home alone for the first time in about six months. It was nice. I felt free. I sat at the desk in my room and finished homework and caught up on my studying. Hours passed and Hiei hadn't returned. Shuichi hadn't contacted me, either. It was nice to be alone. I got up and walked into the living room.

Walking past the front door, I double checked the lock to make sure it was locked. My head had been taunting me for a few minutes about how someone was coming inside. After I had locked the door, I grabbed my phone to take with me outside on the balcony. I was debating on whether or not I should go to the tournament. I wasn't going to be put into any danger, and I would be in an environment that would help exercise my head and continue to progress. This would possibly help me progress in time for me to go to university and not have any obligations to Koenma.

I sat down on the chair I kept outside on the balcony and dialed the school's number. I had made my decision and contacted my school's officials. I was going to take a leave of absence "due to my mental illness." Which, technically, wasn't false. They didn't ask questions, surprisingly. It was as if they were expecting this. After telling them I was taking my leave, they gave me a time to have someone pick up my school work that I normally would have been assigned for the rest of the year if I had stayed. I hung up and set my phone on the small table next to the chair I was sitting on. I sat outside and enjoyed the cooling weather. The clouds were large and ever changing.

I felt very calm and happy for some reason as I watched the clouds pass by for an hour. I then went inside and decided I'd do something I've been wanting to for a while. I went into the living room and put on a mix CD in the stereo I had that sat underneath the TV inside the TV stand. I turned the volume up to an acceptable level so my neighbors wouldn't complain. What I wanted was very simple, but when I used to want to do this my head would mess with me and scare me out of it. Now, it was a way to say "Fuck you, schizophrenia. I'm progressing." Others may not think much of it, but when you're living your life according to thoughts that aren't your own, you feel free when you can do things without your head commenting on it. Even if it's something simple.

"Her name was Lola," I sang along to the music that began playing in the living room. "She was a show girl."

_With yellow feathers in her hair and her dress cut down to there._

I tied up my hair as I went into my room and set down my phone. I found a lighter and pulled out a small box of jewelry that I had bought years ago. I went into the kitchen to grab some ice so I could numb my ears. In the bathroom, I opened up the box. A bunch of earrings were placed in an ordered fashion according to size and color. I found the piercing needle I bought and dug underneath the sink for some rubbing alcohol. I held the ice on my right ear, numbing it. Once numbed, I sterilized the needle, rinsed it and lit the flame over it.

Piercing after piercing, I repeated the sterilizing process. I'm sure multiple piercings all at once weren't good for my ear lobes. I had three done on my lobe and did two more above the other piercings where my cartilage started. I had been told before not to do more than two cartilage piercings because they were the worst to heal. Then I started on my left ear and repeated the process. I put my arm with the broken shoulder in a position to hold my earlobe so my shoulder wouldn't hurt as much. I sterilized the needle again and did three more piercings on my lobe.

I began cleaning the earrings before putting them in.

"What are you doing?"

I jumped and dropped my earring into the sink, because that voice was real. It was Hiei. I slapped my hand down onto the earring before it rolled into the drain and turned to him. He saw my red ears and some of the earrings and raised his eyebrows.

He walked away.

I wondered how he got in and figured it was from the balcony's sliding door. I focused on inserting the earrings and finding cute pairings. I decided to go with diamonds and pearls. I went underneath the sink again and found a small first aid kit. I kept saline in little packages because of when I was younger. My mother would help clean out my cuts with saline. Tree oil would have been better, but oh well. After I cleaned my piercings with some saline, I heard my phone ring.

I had left it in my room and went in there to answer it. I saw Hiei sitting on my window sill, it was like his own personal space in my room. I saw the name come up on my phone's caller ID: "Suzumi." And my heart sank. Why was she calling? Hiei saw my facial expression and waited for me to answer it. He was actually a very nosy boy.

I hesitated in answering it. But I had to or she'd send in the troops.

"Hello?" I said quietly as I gently put the phone up to my ear. I had to be careful because my ears were sore.

"Satomi," she yelled over the phone. "What happened?"

"Calm down, mother..." I sighed.

"Your school called," she was frantic. This reminded me of why I didn't go to America with them. "They said you're taking a leave of absence because of your schizophrenia."

"Yeah..." I said, unsure of what to tell her. I looked to Hiei as if he was going to help me conjure up a lie. But I looked away from him in that very same second because I realized he wasn't going to do anything for me. "I, uh, I broke my shoulder..."

"Oh, my god," she gasped, and I heard her talk to my father. "Adrian, she broke her arm."

This was why I stayed behind when they moved to America. When my mother heard my diagnosis, she became overly protective and smothered me. She made a huge deal out of every cut or bruise I got...even if it was just because I fell down. She thought the voices made me do everything, and she was one of the main reasons why I had a hard time dealing with my head as a child.

She didn't help me the way I needed to be helped when I was having an episode: she freaked out _with_ me, unsure of how to help. That only made my head worse. My father didn't know how to help me either, so he stayed away from me while I had episodes. They weren't fit parents for me... I couldn't live with them, no matter how much I loved them.

"I'm fine," I said reassuringly. "I'll still be able to graduate on time because I'll be doing all the work. It's only a few months. I'll return for the next year."

Hiei looked at me questioningly. I had a feeling he knew what I was talking about.

"But what about your International exams?"

"Those aren't until next year, mother..."

Another reason why I didn't want to live with them: since they left, they didn't pay attention to me until I had an episode. This phone call was a key example of their neglect since she hadn't called me in god knows how long.

"Are you sure you're okay, honey?" She asked.

"Yeah..."

"Alright, I'll let you go then... Your father says he loves you."

"Love you too, daddy..." I said as I knew she moved the phone to where he could hear me.

"You call if you need anything, okay?" she said as she hung up.

I put the phone down on the nightstand and stared at the phone for a while. Talking to her always made me uncomfortable and emotionally drained. I suddenly felt very tired and exhausted. I remembered how I hadn't slept in over a day. Maybe I would be able to fall asleep now.

"Where are you going?" Hiei asked, referring to what I had told my mother.

I looked up at him, snapping out of my thought process. I wondered what he would think when I told him I was tagging along. I walked over to my bed and lay down on my good arm, facing him.

"Botan invited me to this tournament..." I said as I got comfortable in my bed. I avoided laying down in a certain position to keep my ears from hurting, but they hurt anyways. He looked at me skeptically. "I'm obviously not fighting in it."

He had a condescending smirk, "You don't need to reassure me that you won't be fighting."

I rolled my eyes and then closed them. I could hear a soft song coming from the living room still, but I was too tired to get up and turn it off.

"You're going to fall asleep listening to this crap?" He said as I paid more attention to the new song.

_What a wonderful world this would be_

_Now, I don't claim to be an A student_

_But I'm trying to be_

My father had such an influence in my choice of music.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. "It's better than falling asleep listening to your rude ass remarks."

He smirked and looked back out the window. He knew his sass was rubbing off on me. I smiled slightly and got comfortable.

My ears hurt, my shoulder ached, but I fell asleep quickly.


	8. Edge of the Ocean

I finished the last of my homework and looked outside my window. Snow was falling. A month or so had passed since I had taken my leave of absence from school. I spent the past two weeks doing all of my homework and nothing else so when I left I wouldn't have to do anything. I wanted the rest of my time to be devoted to reaching my full potential.

Or at least progressing.

I closed my book and got up to get ready. I finished packing my duffle bag with some more clothes and went into the bathroom. Hiei had been gone for a month and I had to admit… I missed the asshole. He wasn't kind or consoling like Shuichi, but he still grew on me.

I did my usual make up in the bathroom, thin eyeliner and mascara, as I waited for the curling iron to heat. I had about a half hour before Botan would be here to pick me up. After curling my hair, sloppily, which took a record of maybe fifteen minutes with how thick my hair was, I ran my fingers through the curls so they'd be loose. I applied hairspray as I walked into my room to make sure my phone was charging, because though I didn't talk to many people, I was still attached to the object. I was surprised to find a text from my father.

"_I love you, Satomi. I hope you are doing well and I know you are strong enough to fight yourself and win. Good luck, my lovely daughter_."

I was surprised; my father had never sent me a text before. He hadn't talked to me since they left to America… It was weird because I needed something encouraging like this, from someone who had no idea what was happening. If only he knew how much this meant right now, the day I was leaving to better myself. My heart swelled up with happiness and I replied, not mad in the slightest of his otherwise constant neglect.

"_I love you too, daddy. I'm getting much better and am progressing every day. Your support means so much to me_," I replied to his text.

I felt weird after I had sent it, because it was very coincidental that he would send this text today of all days. But my father was just a white businessman from America; I doubted he'd know what I was doing. I set my phone down to finish charging and packed the rest of my necessities.

As I went to the sliding door and locked it as I pulled over the curtains, I heard some knocks on the door, feeling three other people outside my front door waiting. One of the aura's was familiar, aside from Botan's.

"Satomi!" Botan called behind the front door.

I opened the door and found Yukina next to Botan, and noted to remember Yukina's aura better. Then came two other girls I hadn't met before.

"This is Shizuru," Botan said as she pointed to the taller, older woman with longer brown hair. She was smoking a cigarette.

"'Sup," She said calmly, nodding her head to me. Her cigarette moved in her mouth as she talked to me. She had a similar aura to Kuwabara.

"This is Keiko," Botan pointed to the younger girl with shorter brown hair.

"Hi!" Keiko smiled at me.

"Hey…" I felt weird because I wasn't used to meeting new people. But they seemed nice, so I smiled, making an effort to be polite and make friends. "I'm finished packing and just need to gather my stuff and lock up. Come on in."

I moved out of the way as they gathered inside. They all sat in the living room while I made sure to lock all the windows and close the blinds. After I put on a black pea-coat I hadn't worn in years and buttoned it up, I grabbed my phone and duffle bag. I put the duffle bag over my good shoulder. My broken shoulder had healed some, it still hurt and sometimes would crack if I moved it in a certain position. But it was much better than it was.

I looked in the mirror before I left my room, looking at my outfit. My tight black pants made me feel uncomfortable since I knew I could have done more with my outfit or planned it better, but I had no time to pick out something new. I slipped on some black suede ankle-boots and I ushered the girls back outside my apartment.

As I locked the front door, Yukina spoke up, "You seem much better now."

I looked to her and remembered that she had only seen me when my head was taking over my life.

I smiled, "I'm much better. I'm not…"

I waited for the other girls to walk ahead of us so they wouldn't hear me, "I'm not as… suicidal, I guess."

I remembered her only interaction with me. My head was completely fucked in that situation and I wasn't mentally stable. The situation had pushed my head too far…

I stopped thinking about the past before my head decided to chime in.

"How have you been?" I asked her, looking down at her.

"Better," she smiled in reply.

My hands drifted into the pea-coats pockets, and as I dropped the key inside one of them, I felt a piece of crumbled paper. My heart tightened, a feeling of emptiness washed over me. I remembered what paper this was, and I remember why I hid it in this pocket. I never used this coat, and had decided this pocket would be the best place to put the paper.

I remembered my older brother and became sad. I wondered why my mother and father didn't care enough to look out for me, especially after what happened to my brother. I realized why they weren't reluctant to leave me here alone, they didn't want to deal with me after what happened to my older brother. They wanted to start a new life, I guess...

I took my hand out of my pocket and put the keys in a pocket in the duffle bag, repressing the memories again, pushing myself into denial.

"Do you know any of the people we are going to see?" Yukina asked, knowing only Hiei and Kuwabara.

"At the tournament?" I asked. "Uh, yeah. Kind of. I know them, but I'm not really friends with a few of them. We're just acquaintances. Yusuke and Kuwabara are more like acquaintances to me. Shuichi and your-" I stopped talking immediately and cleared my throat. "Friend... Your friend, Hiei. The one that rescued you from Tarukane. I'm closest to Shuichi, and I'm on somewhat good terms with Hiei."

"Oh," she remembered Hiei. "He's not really my friend..."

We talked for a while, and caught up on the past months. I wanted to punch myself for almost outing Hiei's secret. I knew if that happened he'd never forgive me. I honestly thought he would kill me.

* * *

Botan and Shizuru were probably the most calm and bravest out of the five of us. I was nervous and there were new, disturbing voices that were coming from around me. We stood in line around the arena, waiting to buy a ticket to go inside but the line hadn't budged for hours and we were beginning to become more noticed by the demons in the crowd. Well, Keiko, Shizuru, and I were noticed.

We were human, and demons could pick our scent out from miles away. I wasn't enjoying the stares and jeers that the demons were throwing at us, so I concentrated on the surrounding area, hoping to find a safe place to leave to. I had learned how to utilize the absence of auras in an area, finding places, often solid objects such as a boulder or a building, that didn't emit an aura. It was almost like landscaping, being able to see the perimeter of an island, feeling the land itself.

I wished it worked on humans like this, it'd be an interesting perk, but I couldn't locate a specific person without their aura. It was like looking up a word you didn't know in a dictionary when it came to finding specific humans.

I found a building less than a mile away, a hotel. I felt the emotions and auras of the people and demons traveling in and out of the hotel. Happy, relieved, proud, scared, nervous… Feelings that were associated with being in the hotel, a place of relaxation or comfort, winning or losing matches or bets.

"There's a hotel less than a mile from here," I turned around to see if I could see it in the distance, but the trees were towering in our area, blocking any view.

"Ah, you've gotten better!" Botan cheered, happy she didn't have to wait in line now.

I nodded, appreciative of her praise, but now I was busy on concentrating on where to go.

"Besides, this isn't their fight," I couldn't sense Hiei or Shuichi's aura inside the arena.

I wanted to get out of here before the voices started coming from my head… I stepped out from the line and lead the way to the hotel. I watched as demons looked at the five of us. Some made sexual, rude remarks at us, others would threaten us. The more demons I passed by, the louder the voices became. One stepped in front of us as we were walking in the direction of the hotel. He was over six feet tall and had light blue skin.

"Human girls don't come here," he laughed slyly. And my anxiety spiked.

Not because of him, but because everyone in line turned to look at us. I was scared because there weren't exactly rules here... He inched closer and I stood in front of Yukina, who didn't seem to understand that he was creeping towards us for a reason.

"Move," my command would have had more authority if my voice hadn't been so shaky.

I could feel the line looking at us. He wasn't a huge threat, but that didn't mean he couldn't become one. The demon laughed at my shaking voice and I swung my duffle bag into the side of his head, knocking him off his feet and falling into the crowd. He crashed into a few demons and ogres, all of them fell to the ground in a tangled mess.

"What do you carry in there..." Keiko asked curiously, staring at my duffle bag as I hung it back onto my shoulder.

"Clothes," I replied honestly, taking it off my shoulder and handing it to her so she could feel how heavy it was.

We had begun walking again, towards the hotel, and she faltered when she grabbed onto it, her arms shaking slightly to hold it up.

"Oh god, Satomi," Keiko eventually got the bag into a position she could hold. "There has to be more than clothes in here."

"Just some make-up and a curling iron...and some shoes" I took my duffle bag back, playing down the amount of stuff I had actually shoved in there.

I swung it over my shoulder again, not understanding why it was heavy for her since this was how heavy my shopping bags were when I would go to the mall. I guess she didn't buy clothes like I did. I figured as much since my father was a wealthy businessman. My father may have ignored me for the past, maybe, four or five years, but he was the stereotypical rich father. He'd give me money for everything and anything I wanted. He thought it'd make up for his lack of being present in my life.

It didn't. It just gave me an unholy amount of clothes and material possessions, little closet space, an empty heart, and the growth of a possible entitlement complex.

I felt horrible upon entering the hotel and stepping foot inside the lobby. There were rich folk everywhere, staring us down and talking about us. My anxiety spiked, delusions ensued, convincing me that they had singled me out among the group of girls and that I was the sole one deserving of scorn and ridicule. Uncomfortable, I followed Botan to the front desk as she checked in as the "Urameshi Team." I turned my back to the crowded lobby and listened to Botan's conversation to take my mind off the delusions. The clerk was going to give us a key to their room but I stopped her.

"Separate room," I asked quietly, knowing the room was probably already crowded with the boys.

"We need to pay for that," Botan looked at me curiously.

"Put it on Koenma's tab," I told the clerk. "He'll pay for it."

Botan smiled devilishly and laughed heartily, asking the clerk for five room keys. We made our way to the elevator, though I was having trouble looking up to see where I was going, still unnerved about the rich folk that plagued the lobby. I could hear the voices from my head taunting me.

_They're looking at you._

_Look at how hideous you look._

My eyes darted up quickly, and I ran to catch the elevator before it closed and held the door open for the girls. I didn't want to be out where those people could see me. I was shaking a bit as they walked in the elevator, but as I realized there was a man in the corner of the elevator with blue hair, I tried composing myself.

He had a strange aura, something was off with him. Keiko pressed the button for our floor and I continued to try and compose myself, stop my trembling. Though I wasn't shaking as bad as I used to, Yukina could tell I was still distraught, and I felt her hold my hand and place her other on my forearm for comfort. I shakily looked over to her and she was smiling at me. It made me feel a bit better, and the voices disappeared slowly.

Botan, Keiko, and Shizuru conversed next to me, but their conversation drowned out as I preoccupied myself with the aura from the guy in the corner. Yukina was preoccupied with me, worried about me, but I kept my attention on the guy behind me as he kept playing with his aura, expanding it, retracting it... as if he knew I was paying attention to him.

When I wasn't shaking as much anymore, when I had myself more composed, I turned my head to see what he looked like. He had pinkish eyes. He smiled at me, and I smiled back to be polite, and I turned back around as the elevator dinged. The doors opened. The girls and I walked out to find our rooms, and before I walked away I looked back into the elevator. The boy was still smiling at me... It was a bit creepy, completely unnerving.

It wasn't a _nice to meet you and hope to see you again _smile. It was something unwelcoming. The elevator doors began to close and Yukina tugged on my hand to keep me walking.

* * *

We had unfinished packing in our room and I couldn't feel Hiei or Shuichi's presence anywhere close. After using the bathroom and washing my hands, I pulled out the crumpled paper in my pocket. I debated on opening it, because it was going to bring back a lot of horrible memories and remind me of what I'd worked so hard to repress.

I opened it, but didn't read it. I kept my eyes away from the handwriting as I smoothed it out and folded it neatly before putting it back into the pea-coat's pocket and leaving the bathroom.

The weather was warmer here and that surprised me, or maybe it was just from being around so many people and having worn many layers. I went to take off my pea coat and changed into a white button up blouse that had no sleeves. I changed my suede boots into white ballerina flats and was careful in setting down my pea-coat because I didn't want the paper to fall out, I didn't want anyone to see it. At the moment, I didn't know where else to keep it. I had kept it in this pocket for so long it would feel awkward to put it elsewhere. I'd find a place for it later, I thought as I set the coat neatly on my bed. Even if the paper was horrible, dramatic, it was still the only material possession I had from my brother.

"I'm going to find the boys," I grabbed my purse out of my duffle bag, and put the room key inside my purse.

"You sure you should be walking around out there alone?" Shizuru stood next to the open window, smoking another cigarette.

"I'll be fine," I said. "I won't be wandering around so there's a slim chance I should run into trouble."

I felt like I jinxed myself by saying that, but I was right: if I just found Hiei or Shuichi, I'd be fine. I left the room and quickly made my way out of the hotel.

I didn't want to be in the lobby, so I practically jogged out of the hotel, dragging attention to me anyways. When I exited the hotel, I stayed close to the entrance and concentrated on Hiei's presence. If I was right, he and Shuichi would be together, but I was wrong. Hiei was alone on the other side of the island. I concentrated on Shuichi and found him in the arena. I pulled out my phone to see if I had signal. One bar.

I called Shuichi and he didn't answer, I hung up after the fourth ring, where he often would pick up. If he wasn't picking up by the fourth, he wasn't picking up at all.

There was no way I was getting into the arena without him because of the line being so long, so I thought about looking for Yusuke or Kuwabara, but I didn't know their aura well enough to search for them. I never spent any time around them to memorize their aura, so I decided I would head in Hiei's direction. I made it about half way to where he was when I felt his aura moving in my direction, so I stayed put in the forest and waited. In less than a minute, I felt his aura around me, but I couldn't see him. He had hidden himself in the nature around me, like a prick. I looked around the forest for him from where I stood, whipping my head around, becoming more irritated with each second of being unable to see him.

When I turned around, though, he was in my face.

"Are you stupid?" He snapped at me. "Walking around here when you can't even defend yourself."

My brow furrowed, "And hello to you too, asshole."

He stepped back and took a look at me and then my shoes.

He shook his head, "You came out here walking in those... This isn't a fashion show."

I laughed. I've hiked in high heels, this was nothing. Besides, if I wanted to wear something, I was going to wear it, it was that simple.

"Well, the girls and I are at the hotel," I said. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for some names. "Keiko, Shizuru, Botan, and Yukina."

I saw his face twitch at the mention of Yukina, his sister. I hazard to guess he couldn't talk to her much because of the fact that he couldn't tell her about their relation. Why he didn't tell her was news to me, I had no idea. It was probably just how he was.

"Why are they here?" He asked.

I shrugged, "I didn't know Keiko and Shizuru until this morning. I thought it was going to be just me and Botan."

I looked past him and saw the sky in the distance between the trees, "Is the ocean over there?"

"Hn," he ignored my question because I couldn't give him a straight answer.

I purposely bumped into his shoulder when I walked past him to show him how rude he was. He never cared when I pointed out how he was being an asshole, but I felt I had to continue pointing it out anyways. Because maybe, just maybe, he'd stop sometime.

I continued towards the edge of the island and soon came upon a cliff. The wind was stronger up here, whipping my hair around to slap my face.

"Shuichi's at the arena," I said. "Where are Yusuke, Kuwabara, and your other team member?"

I knew he was behind me. I never understood why he had to act like he didn't hear me asking him questions. It's like he wanted to pretend I wasn't there or something.

"Don't know," he said after a while.

I ignored him and kept looking out at the ocean, the therapeutic motion of the waves in the distance was calming. My parents were on the other side of this ocean... I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone to look at the text my father had sent to me. I read over the text and thought about how far I had progressed since all those months ago. I smiled and put away my phone as I turned around to look at Hiei. He was ignoring my existence.

"Is there a reason why you're ignoring me?" I asked. But as expected, no response. "If you didn't want me to come then you should have said something. I mean, even back at the apartment you didn't completely ignore my existence."

He looked at me with a cocky smile and shrugged. I groaned and put my hand to my forehead.

"You're a piece of work," I sighed.

"You're one to talk," he said with his condescending smile.

I ignored his remark and began walking past him so I could go back to the hotel.

"Tell your teammates we're here. That's the least you can do," I said.

"Did you have any trouble when you got here?" He asked.

I figured he was asking if Yukina was okay when getting here. I stopped walking and turned around.

"Some demon stepped in front of us in the line and was harassing us," I replied.

He looked at me, waiting to know what else.

"I took care of it," I shrugged. "Yukina's fine."

He looked at me curiously. I started to concentrate on Shuichi's aura. I thought Shuichi may have left the arena, but he hadn't. I quit focusing on him and turned my attention back to Hiei.

"You're never going to tell her, are you..." I looked over to him.

He kept his back turned towards me, "That's none of your concern."

"Well, we're in room 1020," I shrugged and turned to leave. "You should stop by to see her..."

* * *

"I found Hiei and Shiuchi," I stepped inside the hotel room, closing the door behind me as I looked around the room. Shizuru and Keiko looked up at me, worried. "But, I don't know where Yusuke and Kuwabara are. I don't really know their auras..."

Keiko looked disappointed and Shizuru took another drag from her cigarette.

"But they're fine," I reassured them. "Hiei would have told me if something bad happened."

Their facial expressions didn't change, they were beginning to worry me.

"What's wrong, you guys?" I looked over to Yukina.

She looked worried...sad. She stood up and held in her hand the piece of paper I had put into my coat pocket.

"I had accidentally knocked your coat off the bed and it fell out," I'd never heard more remorse in a voice. "I'm sorry."

I took the paper from her, wondering why she was so sad. It was just a paper. She just knocked it over and picked it up... right? I looked around, even Botan looked grim. They had read it. I imagined them opening it and reading it, and I began to remember the words on the paper. My body began shaking, the words were in my head again. I had repressed them years ago, but they were back as if I'd never forgotten them, they repeated constantly, over and over.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Yukina asked. She was referring to when we first met, and she looked at my wrist near the scar to see if I had hurt myself recently.

"I'm fine..." I was on the verge of hyperventilating.

I brought my arm up to my chest to hide my wrist. I hadn't done anything...

The words were getting louder now.

"Satomi," Botan approached me slowly, as if I was a caged animal, exactly how I felt. "That's not something you write when you're 'fine'..."


	9. Nothing Came Out

**A/N: **I must to give credit where it's deserved. The lovely poem in this chapter is called **"A Person, a Paper, a Promise" by Earl Reum.**

* * *

I had locked myself in the bathroom to calm down, but the girls kept knocking on the door to get in, and all my attempts at calming down were backtracking. They would call my name. They thought I was going to kill myself, they thought the paper was mine. They weren't helping me cope right now, they were making it worse. All the memories started flashing back, and I remembered my brother lying on the hallway floor. I began hyperventilating as the front door opened.

"Yusuke!" Keiko cried behind the bathroom door. "Get in the bathroom!"

"What?" He was confused at the sight of Keiko. "What are you doing here?!"

"Kurama, look," I heard Botan's voice behind the door, and I knew she handed him the paper.

"Satomi," he knocked on the door after a few seconds. He knew what the paper was. I knew he would be decent enough not to show anyone else.

"I need to be alone," I stayed quiet as I put my back to the door, sliding down to the ground. "Make them stop..."

"Make who stop?" He asked calmly, wondering if I was referring to them or my head.

"Everyone."

After a few minutes of protest and worrying, they left from behind the bathroom door and I began to calm down. It took a while, I bunched up against the door, holding my knees against my chest in an attempt to curl up and pretend the memories weren't real.

_It's your fault._

But it wasn't...

_He's gone because of you._

_That's why your parents hate you._

I continued to repress the voices, the memories and delusions, going into complete denial to save my sanity.

And soon, when I had finally calmed down, I looked at my phone to see the time, finding two hours had actually passed. I went to the mirror and fixed my make-up, not wanting to go out looking like a crazy mess. I could feel the girls in the room, waiting for me, Shuichi was there as well, and I could feel Hiei's presence coming closer to the hotel.

Despite calming down, my body still trembled slightly as I continued taking deep breaths and playing with my hair before leaving the bathroom, devoting attention to it, making sure it looked presentable. When I stepped out of the bathroom, I felt everyone looking at me, their staring was going to spike my anxiety.

"Please stop staring..." I mumbled as I sat on one of the beds. "That's just going to make everything worse again."

They averted their gazes, and we all sat in silence for a while. I had an urge to read the paper again. But I didn't need to read it, the words were memorized. I knew them like the back of my hand.

"Satomi," Yukina spoke up, worried.

"I'm fine," I said quietly. "It's not mine."

The relieved looks throughout the girls faces told me that Shuichi hadn't said anything. That was why I trusted Shuichi with so much.

"Then whose is it?" Keiko asked quietly as Yusuke and Kuwabara came in the room.

"'Sup!" Yusuke said to me as he waved. He was walking with a limp.

I smiled slightly as I turned around to greet him.

"Hey..." I waved back.

"Long time no see, blondie," Kuwabara greeted me.

I was sure they were blissfully, and thankfully, unaware of the little situation in the room at the moment. If they did know, they either didn't care or understood that pressuring me into saying something wasn't going to help me. To avoid the situation, I was picking up on Yusuke's and Kuwabara's auras, trying to avoid the subject. I was worried that the girls would ask me more questions about the paper and I didn't want to talk about it much now. I looked around and felt like I was in an episode of Intervention with everyone sitting around and looking at me. Botan opened her mouth to say something, but I stopped her.

"It's my brother's," I said quietly as Shuichi handed me the folded paper. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"But-" Keiko began, but Shizuru stopped her.

"If it's not hers then don't pressure her, Keiko," Shizuru said. I nodded to Shizuru to thank her, even though I appreciated Keiko's concern.

"There's nothing to worry about," Shizuru said.

But it seemed like more of a question, to be honest. I nodded to her, reassuring her that it wasn't mine.

I got up to leave the room, "I appreciate the concern, everyone. Really. But bringing it up is only going to make it worse for me."

Keiko nodded as I made my way out of the room, hearing Yusuke and Kuwabara talking about their next match. I guess we had missed the first one.

When I opened the door, Yukina followed me out into the hallway.

"Satomi," she said quietly and closed the door. I stopped walking and leaned against the wall, not wanting to deal with the subject. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," I replied. "But talking about it makes me remember it... So I'd rather _not_ talk about it."

She looked down at my wrist again. I moved my wrist upwards to face her, showing her the scar I got when I had first met her. The rest of my wrist was smooth, unharmed. The long, unsightly scar plastered on my forearm stuck out drastically with darkened scar tissue.

"I haven't hurt myself..." I reassured her. "I told you it's my brother's."

She looked so sad when she saw the scar, remembering the incident.

"Reading it may help you," Yukina mumbled, staring at my scar. "I know it must be horrible, Satomi. But it might help."

I crossed my arms, defensive, trying to avoid thinking about the poem.

"I came to the human world to look for my brother," she said quietly. "I haven't found him. I don't even know if he's alive..."

I felt a pang in my heart, as if a nerve had snapped, because I was keeping a secret from her. But it wasn't my business...

"I don't even know my brother," she said. "It must have been a blessing to know yours. I would hope that you would be able to read that, be able to think about him... without hurting."

I looked at the ground and then to the folded piece of paper I was holding. She was right. That was my brother, even if he didn't always love me.

"Please read it again," Yukina said, taking my hand in hers. "Read it to yourself or someone else, so you don't feel bad when reading it."

I nodded sullenly and mumbled, "I'll try."

She gave a small smile and hugged me. I was surprised at her sudden actions, it took me a while to hug her back. But as quickly as she held me, she let go, leaving back into the room afterwards. As her aura disappeared into the room, I felt Hiei's around the corner of the hallway. He had been here for a while, eavesdropping. He turned around from the corner and walked over.

"You're so nosy," I said as he stood next to me.

"It's hard not to get in your business, Yue," he said.

"Would you do me a small favor?" I asked.

I decided if he agreed, I could read it to him when I was ready. He wasn't one to show affection, so I wouldn't get questions afterwards. Hell, he may not even listen. It would be perfect.

He looked at me, waiting to hear what I wanted.

"Could I read this to you?" My voice got quieter with each word, I instantly regretted asking him. "I'd figured you'd be a good person to read this to, you'd sit there and probably ignore me."

"Tch," he snarled a bit, annoyed I'd put him in this position. "If you want to be ignored, read it to yourself. Don't drag me into your pathetic pity party."

"It's about having company," I sighed. "Please."

I looked down at the paper again, and I kept seeing my brothers face in my mind. He took after my mom with black hair, but had my dad's green eyes. Green eyes like mine. His silence was apparently his answer, as I looked up to him, our eyes meeting briefly before mine fell to the floor again.

"Is that a yes or a no..." I asked.

"I don't care."

I looked up at him, staring at his eyes. I wanted a real answer.

"Yes," he said after a minute. I smiled a bit as I looked back at the paper, but it quickly faded as I remembered the words on the paper.

We stood in silence for a while and I said to him, "Maybe later tonight. I'm still wrapping my head around the memories that are coming back."

* * *

Shuichi and Hiei were in their room with me. Hiei seemed to love window sills since he was sitting on the one in this room as well, and Shuichi and I talked about the tournament. I kept asking questions about it, not understanding the point of the place. I could feel Yusuke and the Kuwabara with the girls in the next room, but Yusuke was moving to this room, the door opened within seconds, and he limped inside.

He sat down on one of the beds, grumbling in a mocking tone in English, "That drunk bastard and his Knife Edge Death Match."

I watched as he pulled off his shoe, finding bloody bandages covering his foot. It wasn't wrapped properly or cleaned right.

"Who did that?" I asked skeptically. He looked down at his foot.

"I did," he replied. I got up and found the first aid kit and grabbed towels, holding the paper between my fingers as I lugged everything around.

"I'll fix it," I said as he gladly got comfortable on the bed and propped his foot up.

I set the paper down on the table I had been sitting next to and then set some towels underneath his foot. Unwrapping the bandages, I looked at the large gash that was situated at his heel and gagged, feeling breakfast creep up my throat. But I had to pull through this or I wouldn't have a career in the medical field. I found latex gloves in the first aid kit and pulled out a bottle of saline and sifted through to look for some ointments. I looked at the deep gash on his heel and saw the skin around the gash didn't look right. It didn't look like he had gotten cut, the skin around the gash was frayed a bit, as if it'd been gnawed at slightly.

"Did you try cleaning this?" I asked as I put on the gloves.

"Yeah, some rubbing alcohol," he replied.

"You don't use that on wounds!" I chastised him. "That eats away at your skin and prevents your wound from healing."

"We got a doctor?" Yusuke looked over at Shuichi and Hiei, surprised and skeptical.

"In the making," Shuichi shrugged.

"Depends where I go for college..." I said sadly as I remembered the current situation with Koenma and my schooling. I broke open the saline tube. "This is probably going to tickle."

Yusuke seemed happy about that.

"Or it might hurt," I said. "Not sure yet."

Yusuke's face changed instantly to one of worry and anticipation. I put the saline tube's opening over the cut and squirted it inside the gash. Blood, and small chunks of flesh and muscle tissue came pouring out, and I gagged again, this time my breakfast and lunch were both creeping up my throat. Yusuke was obviously uncomfortable with the feeling of the saline rushing in his wound.

"This needs stitches," I said looking up at Yusuke and then to Shuichi. I got a different towel and pressed it onto the gash to stop the slow blood flow. "I can't do that. Maybe Botan can?"

Shuichi stood up to find Botan as I began searching for the right ointment to put on his wound. I found one and removed the towel. Gently, I smoothed it on the edge of his wound. Botan came in the room and looked at what I was doing.

"Good!" She said, looking at Yusuke's wound. "I'm glad I don't have to clean it. Thanks, Satomi."

I smiled at her and stood up, moving away from Yusuke as Botan and Shuichi decided that they'd tend to him in the girls room. When they left, I removed the gloves and grabbed the bloody towels to put them in the dirty hamper. After calling room service for more towels, I walked back over to where I was sitting. I sat down and looked over to Hiei. I noticed part of his hand was wrapped in bandages.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

"I don't need to be doctored," he said instantly.

That was probably the fastest reply I had ever gotten from him.

"I wouldn't fix you if you asked me to," I said after laughing sarcastically.

He smirked and looked out the window.

"She's in the other room," I said. "Go talk to her..."

He looked at me strangely. And... I felt weird. Uncomfortable. His look wasn't rude, or threatening. It was just different, strange.

"I mean, you heard her," I said, referring to our conversation in the hallway.

He looked at the paper and held it up with his uninjured hand. It was still folded neatly, so he hadn't read it.

"What is it?" He asked.

"My brother's," I said again.

He looked at me, waiting for a real answer. I remembered how I found Satoshi that morning. I began massaging my temple so I wouldn't get a raging headache thinking about him.

"His name was Satoshi," I said quietly, unintentionally ignoring Hiei's question. "I guess mother and father were too preoccupied with my mental illness that they didn't bother to get him checked out."

My hand began shaking in my lap.

"I found it in his room, hidden," I said. "I thought suicide letters were things you left around, you know? You left them for people to find so they knew. You left them to let people know you were going to..." I inhaled to stop my eyes from watering. "But I had to dig through his desk drawer to find that... So, I'm really not sure. I don't know..."

"He had schizophrenia?" He asked skeptically.

I shrugged. "There are studies to show that it's linked to genes, and can possibly be hereditary but I don't think he had it. If he did then he was really good at hiding it and dealing with it. Then again, schizophrenia is a spectrum."

I wanted to change the subject, I didn't want to talk about him yet. I was still dealing with remembering the paper and the words.

"How was the first match you had?" I looked up at him. My eyes were drying, but they were still a bit watery.

He shrugged.

"I heard you beat their ass," I smiled jokingly.

I was lying since I hadn't heard anything about the recent match, but I wanted to see how big his ego was. I watched as his lips turned to this sort of half smirk.

"Hm," his body moved as if he laughed.

Confusion overcame me, was that his laugh?

"Did you just laugh?" I asked, surprised. He rarely smiled, the best I'd seen was a smirk, I didn't think he was able to laugh.

He gave me a serious look, changing attitudes and the subject. "You're going to be a doctor?"

I remembered why I was mad at Koenma.

"Depends where I go for college," I repeated.

"That doesn't answer the question."

"And how often do you not answer _my_ questions?" I asked.

He looked away from me, looking outside the window again. We sat in silence for a minute and I went through my phone, replying to an old classmate.

"If I go to Davis, I'll be a Physician Assistant," I perked up. I saw him look over at me through my peripheral vision. "If I go to Harvard, I'll be a Physician."

I looked over to him and changed the subject back to the recent match. I didn't want to talk about those things. My brother and my future... Both were currently shit. "How did you win?"

He shook his head, refusing to answer me. I shrugged and turned back to my phone, "I'll see it during your next match."

* * *

A few hours later, Kuwabara brought in Yusuke, helping him walk by holding his arm over Kuwabara's shoulder. After setting Yusuke on the bed, they proceeded to talk to Shuichi. I listened to their conversation, Yusuke and Kuwabara seemed to be very good friends. They all talked for about an hour, sometimes bringing me into the conversation, and I tried staying in the conversation, but I kept drifting out because my head would keep flashing images of my brother. I sighed, because at least my head was better than it was months ago.

If I had found this paper before, I wouldn't be able to open any door or go in any hallway. My head would torment me with every bathroom door I walked by. I felt a bit relieved realizing this, because that meant I was progressing. I was progressing a lot more than I realized. The realization gave me the urge to read the poem, even if I wasn't exactly ready yet. I debated on it for a while. I looked out of the window and the sun had set, the sky hued a purplish blue, the sun's golden-orange tint lined the horizon, drifting away quickly with each second.

Eventually, I turned to Hiei and put my hand out, silently asking for my paper back.

He threw it over to me and it landed on my lap.

I looked at the paper as I picked it up and got up to leave the room.

"Are you okay, Satomi?" Shuichi asked me as I opened the front door.

I smiled slightly, "I'm fine."

He knew I was going to read it, but left me alone about it. I stood in the hallway after I closed the door, debating on where I would go. I finally decided that I could go to the entrance of the hotel and find a place from there.

Upon entering the lobby, I was overwhelmed once again, though this time the rich folk weren't my only problem. I was thinking about all the repressed memories that would come back. I left the lobby as quickly as possible and walked a bit away from the entrance of the hotel, finding a pillar holding up the roof that hovered over the hotel's main entrance. I leaned on it, facing the trees that were situated around the hotel.

I stared at the paper and moved it around in my hands, utilizing my fingers as I moved it around, in between my fingers, wondering it Hiei would follow through with my favor.

"Well?" I heard his voice.

I looked in front of me, finding him leaning on the pillar across from me. Part of me was hoping he wouldn't show up so I could just read it to myself, maybe he was right, he shouldn't have been dragged into my pity party. But he was here now and I couldn't back out. I had to read it eventually...

"I'm going to cry, you know..." I warned him softly, my hand shaking a bit as I held the paper.

I was anticipating opening it because it was my brother's handwriting. I looked over to him and the moonlight was becoming brighter. Night had fallen.

"That's nothing new," his tone was anything but pleasant as he leaned against the pillar he was in front of.

It took my eyes some time to adjust, but the moonlight helped me see him clearly.

"You don't really need to pay attention if you don't want to..." I said as I smiled a bit at his remark.

He was right, my crying was nothing new, and for some reason that was a tad bit comforting. When he didn't reply, I took a deep, heavy sigh and opened up the folded paper. My hands were shaking furiously so I sat down with my back against the pillar and set my hands down on my lap. I looked at my brother's angry handwriting. Part of me didn't want to read it, but I knew this would help me cope with everything. It would let me have more control over my head when I would think about him. I knew I had to do this because if I didn't, my head could continue to use this against me. I had to face something to progress.

"Okay..." I said with a long sigh.

I felt my eyes watering already because I knew the words by heart. And I had only read it once, the time I found it in his desk drawer. The words began reciting themselves in my head. And I tried to make them stop.

"Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines / he wrote a poem," I slowly started reading the poem and the voices stopped. "And he called it 'Chops' / because that was the name of his dog / and that's what it was all about. / And his teacher gave him an A / and a gold star. / And his mother hung it on the kitchen door / and read it to his aunts. / That was the year Father Tracy / took all the kids to the zoo and he let them sing on the bus. / And his little sister was born / with tiny toenails and no hair. / And his mother and father kissed a lot. / And the girl around the corner sent him a / valentine signed with a row of X's. / And he had to ask his father what the X's meant / And his father always tucked him in bed at night. / And was always there to do it."

I set the paper down on my lap and stared at the ground. I didn't need the paper to continue, "Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines / he wrote a poem. / And he called it "Autumn" / because that was the name of the season / and that's what it was all about. And his teacher gave him an A / and asked him to write more clearly. / And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door / because of its new paint. / And the kids told him / that Father Tracy smoked cigars and left butts on the pews / and sometimes they would burn holes. / That was the year his sister got glasses / with thick lenses and black frames. / And the girl around the corner laughed / when he asked her to go see Santa Claus. / And the kids told him why / his mother and father kissed a lot. / And his father never tucked him in bed at night. / And his father got mad when he cried for him to do it."

I looked up to Hiei because I warned him I was going to cry. My eyes watered as I looked up at him, but he ignored me, thankfully, staring only at the paper in my lap, "Once on a paper torn from his notebook / he wrote a poem. / And he called it "Innocence: A Question" / because that was the question about his girl / and that's what it was all about. / And his professor gave him an A / and a strange steady look. / And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door / because he never showed her. ; That was the year that Father Tracy died. / And he forgot how the end / of the Apostle's Creed went. / And he caught his sister / making out on the back porch. . And his mother and father never kissed or even talked. / And the girl around the corner wore too much makeup / that made him cough when he kissed her. / But he kissed her anyway / because that was the thing to do. / And at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed / his father snoring soundly."

I started choking up, and I remembered this last part. Because I saw it, I saw how perfectly he emulated the scene he'd written.

I felt warm tears fall down my cheeks as I remembered waking up. I remembered walking into the hallway and finding him. I remembered the paper bag stuck to the bathroom door.

"That's why on the back of a brown paper bag / he tried another poem. / And he called it "Absolutely Nothing" / because that's what it was really all about. / And he gave himself an A / and a slash on each damned wrist / And he hung it on the bathroom door / because this time he didn't think / he could reach the kitchen."

* * *

Minutes passed and I stared at the paper for a while. Finally, I decided to wipe my eyes, forgetting I had make-up on... and I knew I smudged it all over my face. When I pulled my hand away from my face, I saw the black smudges on my hand and silently cursed to myself. But that was the least of my concerns because I kept having flashbacks of the bathroom door and the paper bag stuck to it because of his blood.

I wiped the parts of my face that my make up had smudged in hopes of cleaning my face, but I knew I still looked like a raccoon. I looked at the paper again as I put my hand over my mouth, and it was easier to look at Satoshi's angry, scribbled handwriting. I forgot Hiei was there with me still and I looked up at him. And like the professor in the poem... he gave me a strange, steady look.

"I still don't know what this really is..." I mumbled, looking back at the paper.

Maybe Satoshi found this on the internet or in a poetry book and decided that it validated his depressing feelings. Maybe he wrote it himself and it was his suicide note. I didn't know. All I knew was that it was the way he died.

"His suicide note," Hiei said.

"Maybe," I sniffled. I looked at the date in the top left corner of the page. "September 30th... He killed himself weeks after that. I guess if you write your suicide letters that early then..."

I folded the paper and put it in my pocket. At least it was easier to look at the paper now. Maybe I just didn't want to accept this was a suicide letter, I just didn't want to accept that he killed himself.

"Whatever," I forced myself to say as I stood up.

I didn't want to think about it anymore. At least my head wasn't jumping on my memories and shoving the images around. That was the last thing I needed. Hiei stayed where he was as I looked over at him, and I tried wiping off more of the smudges.

"Thanks," I mumbled as I wiped around my eyes. "You didn't have to listen to me cry, so thanks..."

He shrugged, "You look like a raccoon."

And I laughed.

I laughed so hard some more tears came out, but I didn't know if they were because of the paper or if they were from laughing at his insult. I was glad I asked him to listen, or at least be with me while I read it. If I had asked anyone else, they would have kept asking questions and pushing me into an episode. But he didn't do that. For once, his carelessness was a good thing.

"You're an asshole," I said when I had finished laughing.

But I wasn't mad, because he made me feel better.


	10. The Garden That You Planted

It was close to midnight now.

For a while, the two of us stood in silence, and I was curious as to why he hadn't left yet. Even if it was to embarrass me, him watching my lip quiver every so often and inhale sharply to stop a sob, I enjoyed his company. His shitty, rude-mouthed company. Upon thinking that, I noticed his shoulders shook slightly, briefly.

"Hm. The saddest raccoon I've ever seen," he shook his head. "You should be embarrassed of yourself."

I laughed, rubbing off the rest of the make up that was smudged around my eyes, "If anyone should be embarrassed, it's you. Sticking around me so often."

But my make-up had dried on, I would have to wash it off in the bathroom.

"Go to bed," I tried wiping the make-up off again. "I'm tired of you."

As I opened my eyes, stopping the attempt at wiping the make-up off, he was gone. That's right, little shrimp, listen to me.

I made my way alone upstairs, hiding my face from the few rich folk that still wandered around the lobby. And as I made it to my floor, I dug out the room key, ad felt his presence behind me.

"Thanks," I said as he passed by.

He didn't have to put up with my shitty life right now, but he did. His back was to me, but he stopped walking.

He stayed still for a second in the hallway. I waited a few seconds before putting in the room key to open the door.

He began walking again, down the hallway, avoiding his own room with the boys, "Learn to get over things, your crying is getting tiresome."

Ignoring his words, since he was just a prick, I went inside the room quickly, maneuvering in the dark to the bathroom to wash off the smudged eye make-up. I thought everyone was asleep, but I guess I had woken up Yukina since she came up to the bathroom door, watching me.

"Did you read it?" She asked.

I looked over to her, showing her the remainder of the smudged make-up. That pretty much told her everything.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

I scrubbed my eyes again with water and found some q-tips and lotion, and took a good three seconds to think about how I was feeling.

"Better," I was honest.

It was the only word I could think of. I put some lotion on the q-tip and started to rub off the make-up around my eyes. I felt a small weight lifted off my heart, because even though it was still hard to think about my brother, I could think about him now. And that was progress. I had completely repressed everything before, all but him as a person, and I was handling the memories much better than I planned. I smiled at her when I looked away from the mirror, appreciating her concern and suggestion for me to read it.

"Thanks for the suggestion," I smiled to her. She giggled at my face since I hadn't completely finished wiping off the make-up.

"I'm glad you are feeling better, Satomi," she said. "You deserve to be happy."

My face faltered slightly, confused. Nobody had ever said that to me before... It felt weird coming from Yukina, because if anyone deserved to be happy it was her. She carried her smile with her as she left, returning to bed, and I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering where that came from.

* * *

The next morning, as I was putting mousse in my hair and crunching it after it had dried a bit from the shower, Botan hopped into the shower behind me. I offered to leave, but she said she didn't care if I was in here, as if I could see anything behind the dim green shower curtains anyways. I wrapped my hair up into a tight bun on the top of my head as I left the bathroom, fixing my make up in the mirror on the closet door.

I was tired from last night, realizing this as I applied cover-up under my eyes, I was mentally exhausted because I kept waking up from the dreams I was having. My brother would be alive one moment, then dead the next. We'd be eating dinner, situated around the family table, and when I'd leave to use the restroom, I'd walk to the hallway and find him lying on the ground... I woke up countless times to the same dream and was unable to sleep well.

Tired and a bit cranky, I pushed myself to at least go watch the boys' match. After I tucking the floral blouse into my shorts, I searched for Shuichi's aura. He was on the other side of the island, near the arena, and Yusuke and Kuwabara were already at the arena. That meant I'd have to find Hiei so we could get into the arena quicker. I didn't want to wait in the line, I didn't like being around the demons, there were too many of them. I pocketed my room key and phone as I searched for Hiei's aura, and luckily, he was still in the hotel.

I waited out in the hallway for him as the girls got ready, hoping he'd pass by and not take some obscure, unnecessary route to the arena. I was hoping he'd pass by so we wouldn't have to wait in line. Plus, it was nice being around him, despite his shitty attitude. I played with my phone, feeling Hiei's aura move around the hotel, and eventually, he was closer to me, heading around the corner towards me.

"Would you mind getting us into the arena?" I asked as he rounded the corner. "The line isn't exactly the best place to be..."

He looked at the door. I was still having trouble distinguishing his default facial expression from 'irritated,' "How long will this take?"

I shrugged and opened the door, but the girls were ready and Botan was the first to come out.

I walked next to him as we made our way towards the arena, going through the pictures on my phone. I came across one of me and my father, noticing his sandy blonde hair and forest green eyes, the same as mine. It was always strange, because I could never place who I looked more alike, my mother or my father, but plenty of people had mistaken me for an American on more than one occasion. But my facial features were soft, almost resembling my mothers.

"Who's that?" I felt Botan's hands on my shoulder, looking over towards my phone.

"My father."

"But... he's white?" Botan looked at me curiously. "I thought you dyed your hair."

"No, my hair color is real," I said, letting my hair out of the tight bun. It fell in wavy locks and I ran my fingers through it so it could lay more naturally. My hair had more volume than I was expecting. "I'm half German."

Botan looked at the picture again. I had turned twelve at the time. My father had his arm around my shoulder, smiling. My arms were positioned in the photo, making it noticeable that I had been taking the photo from a close proximity with my phone. I was smiling hard, so hard, I was so happy in this picture in this picture, and I remembered the incidents that took place a while ago, months before this photo, when Satoshi had committed suicide. My father had been gone so often that he'd made an effort to be with me and as a man of his word, he kept his promise, spending one day with me.

"If he's of German descent... why is your last name Yue?" She asked. "Men's names are taken in marriage."

"My mom was an only child, and Ojii-san wanted the family name to be carried on. My father agreed and took her name instead," I explained. "If we had taken his last name, I would be Satomi Eberstark. I don't know how Grandpa James took it, though."

"Ah," Botan peered back over to the screen. "Do you have any other pictures of family members on here?"

I flipped through some more photos and soon found a picture of me and my mother. It was at the airport almost two years ago, when they were leaving to America. My father took this photo, it was noticeable I wasn't as happy, forcing a smile, standing away from my mother. Surprisingly, though, my mother wasn't forcing a smile. She was happy to be leaving after losing her favorite chid, her brown eyes gleamed against her pale skin and black hair.

"Do..." Botan hesitated. "Do you have any of your brother?"

I scrolled all the way to the bottom of the photo album, knowing I had only one. Opening the photo, I showed Botan. I was a child, I was six years younger than my brother. I stared at the photo, wondering when was the last time I looked at it since this was originally from his phone. I sent it to mine after he died, before my parents cut off the cell phone's service. My wavy blonde hair was shorter and barely touched my shoulders. My brother and I were laughing at something when he took the photo. He probably farted, his humor was complete comedic gold for a ten year old.

What ten year old didn't think farts were funny? We both had our father's eyes, but he took our mother's hair, shaggy and black, a ladies man at the age of sixteen. He had his arm around my waist, keeping me close as he took the picture. These were the good days between us, and though the good were long, the bad felt longer despite lasting only a few months.

"He's a handsome boy," Botan smiled.

I exited from the photo album and put my phone in my pocket because I was remembering him again.

"Yeah, he was," I replied as I felt her squeeze my shoulders for support, and she left back behind me to talk to the girls, unsure of what to say to me.

"You couldn't walk to the arena yourself?" Hiei asked.

"I didn't want to wait in that line," I replied honestly, pushing thoughts of my brother away.

He looked at me, waiting for me to explain.

"There's too many demons there..." We were coming up to the arena now.

I looked at the massive dome in awe. Voices started creeping into my head, but it wasn't as scary to me because I knew they weren't coming from my head.

"Hm, if you're worried about the line, you're not going to feel comfortable inside," his words drew my curious eyes onto him, but I soon realized what he meant as we stepped closer.

Upon allowing aura's in, the wave hit me with tremendous force, and I became completely overwhelmed as I stopped in my tracks. The group continued past me, unaware of my sudden stop, and I took a deep breath before continuing behind them, catching up to Hiei, hoping I'd fair in the dome. There were so many auras and voices... I looked to Hiei because I was worried, but I looked away the same second because he wasn't Shuichi. He wasn't going to console me.

"Decide quickly if you want to stay down near the arena with me, or up in the seats," he said as we entered the dome. I realized there were stairways and hallways like mazes to find seating. I should just stay in the hallway, I thought.

But that wasn't going to help me. I needed some progress. I figured if I stayed in the arena with him, I would fair better because the girls wouldn't exactly help me cope with the overwhelming feelings I was having. If I broke into an episode, Shizuru would be the only one that would know how to help because of her personality. But I couldn't chance it. I didn't have any idea how she would really help me.

"I'll stay with you," I said quietly. Besides, Shuichi would be there for me. We continued walking into the arena through the hallways. At one point Hiei stopped walking and directed the girls to where they could go for seating.

"Up that staircase," was all he said to them before he continued walking.

We continued walking down a hallway and I could see a bright light at the end.

"Brace yourself," Hiei warned me. We stepped out into the light and I saw the arena filled with thousands upon thousands of demons. I felt like throwing up. My stomach was churning. Maybe being in the seats was a better idea...

"Yue," Hiei snapped at me. And I looked at him with a horrified expression. "Don't look up there if you're just going to throw up."

"It's not just looking at them..." I mumbled, feeling overwhelmed. Not only was my anxiety sky rocketing, but the amount of auras I was feeling... the voices I was hearing... I couldn't block them out. They were all hitting me at once. I was shaking because I was having trouble coping. It wasn't like this in the line...

"There's the shrimp!" I heard Yusuke say loudly. He was referring to Hiei since I saw him look over. Shuichi wasn't here yet. I was having trouble distinguishing between all the auras because I was so overwhelmed. I felt him put his hand on my lower back and nudged me to walk. I was feeling better as I adjusted to the environment. I was still uncomfortable with all the eyes being able to stare at me... and the voices. I was having a harder time adjusting to the voices than normal. I walked over to Yusuke and Kuwabara and found the other team member. They were masked and short. Shorter than Hiei, and shorter than me. I smiled shakily to say hi and I heard the referee talk to us.

"Unless she's your healer, she can't be down here," she had short red hair and fox ears.

"I'll find my way up to the seats," I said to the guys. I was actually a bit happy because I wouldn't be down here.

"She's our healer," Hiei said. The fox girl nodded and walked away. I looked at him suspiciously. I knew how to clean wounds and bandage them. Not heal them.

"Healing, and cleaning and bandaging aren't the same thing," I said quietly to him. But he ignored me. I sighed and tried focusing on Shuichi's aura. I could feel him getting closer to the arena. The voices were getting louder with each passing second. The match was starting soon.

"Hey," I said shakily, and the four guys turned to me. "What match is this?"

"This is our third one," Yusuke replied. "Against Team Masho."

I was shocked, I thought we had only missed their first fight.

I felt Shuichi enter the arena and I looked over. I wasn't as anxious anymore, though the voices were still overwhelming. It was getting to the point where I couldn't hear anyone around me. Shuichi was surprised to see me down here, he looked worried.

"What are you doing down here, Satomi?" I was barely able to make out what he was saying. All the voices in my head were running together, it was getting hard to hear. I was a bit too preoccupied to respond to him though, the voices were throwing me into shock. My eyes were wandering elsewhere as I tried to sort out the voices. I was busy trying to sort out the voices and auras, trying to make sense of what was happening around me. He put his hand on my shoulder to comfort me and tried talking to me. I was starting to shake again because the voices were screaming now, everything was becoming too overwhelming again.

"Satomi," Shuichi whispered in my ear, trying to communicate with me. "Calm down, you can sift through everything."

"Keep babying her, Kurama," Hiei said sarcastically. He was close enough for me to make out what he had said.

"I'm calm," I replied quietly. I was just overwhelmed.

"Close your eyes, Satomi," Shuichi said in my ear, ignoring Hiei. "It's what you've always been doing."

I listened to him and closed my eyes. I began sifting through the auras and pushing them away from me. It took a while, but I figured out how to block the auras from pressing themselves against me. I felt a weight lifted off my body. I could feel myself becoming less anxious. I began ignoring the voices, tuning them out. Soon, only a few voices remained. I concentrated on them, interested, listening to what they were saying. I began paying attention to a select few voices.

_They'll lose for sure this time._

_Team Masho will take them out._

I was relieved, they weren't threatening. I pushed the thoughts away, ignoring them. My head was becoming more quiet as I progressed. I felt much more calm as I opened my eyes. The match had started a while ago. I had been focusing on my head for longer than I thought. I looked around, a nurse was talking to Hiei and the masked fighter. But I didn't think much of it when I realized Shuichi was up on the platform, fighting. I became scared for him, because that was my only friend. I remembered when we met... how we became close. We were close for a reason. I was so worried about him that I unintentionally blocked out all of the auras and voices around me. I watched the fight, scared. The other team's member had just cast some sort of spell. I looked over to the purplish demon who held up some paint brushes.

"This creep could learn some make-up tips from you, Satomi," Yusuke laughed.

I began to focus on the aura of the opponent and realized what he was doing. I wondered if Shuichi was already aware. But the moment I started to let auras in, I felt a strange presence. It felt like electricity was in the air. I turned around to the nursing tent when I realized where it was coming from.

"Hiei," I called. "Get out of there!"

But the moment I finished my sentence, a barrier flew up around the nursing tent. Hiei and the masked fighter were trapped. I ran over to the tent, stopping in front of it. Hiei was in front of me on the other side of the barrier. The barrier's aura was surprisingly...relaxing. I felt energized and refreshed being near it. I reached my hand out to touch the barrier.

"Don't touch that, fool," Hiei snapped at me. I stopped and looked up at him curiously. He didn't feel the barrier the way I was feeling it... if he did, then he wasn't going to say anything. Or maybe it did harm you. But it was strange, because the aura I felt from the barrier and the inside of the tent wasn't harmful at all. It was the complete opposite. I figured he'd stay in there until his arm healed.

"Are you okay in there?" I asked. He ignored me, but the red haired nurse spoke up to me.

"Yue, Satomi," she recited my name. I stayed quiet as I looked at her. Hiei turned his view to her as well. I was scared because I wasn't registered in this tournament. The hotel didn't even have my name.

"And the winner is!" I heard the fox girl yell, the match was over. "Kurama, from the Urameshi Team!"

I looked over to see Shuichi, hoping he was still okay.

"The judges have decided that since he's unable to remove himself from the arena, he will continue with the next match!" She said loudly into the mic. But she seemed disappointed at the verdict. She put her finger to her fox ear and looked around the arena and out into the grassy area we were on.

"Yue, Satomi," she called to me through the microphone. My stomach churned so hard I thought I was going to throw up right then and there. She actually said my full name in front of hundreds of thousands of demons. I looked up to the large screen that was the scoreboard to find my face up there. They were recording me... they could all see me. The thousands of demons... could see me... They knew my full name and what I looked like. They were all looking at me and mumbling, talking about me... I could feel breakfast creeping up my throat. Some vomit spilled into my mouth, and swallowed it instinctly. I gagged again but tried keeping it in my stomach. If I vomited...

I didn't want to think about that...

"Confirmed," the fox girl said as she looked over to me.

I watched as my expression turned to fear on the large screen. I looked over to the fox girl who was pointing to the exit. I looked over and an older human man with a scar running down his face was walking towards me. He was in his late 20's, maybe early 30's. I started to back away, I looked to Hiei but realized he was behind the barrier. He couldn't help me.

"Oi, what is this?!" Yusuke yelled at the girl when he saw the man walking towards me. He was already angry about Shuichi being forced to stay on the platform.

"I'm not sure," I heard her say to him. "But she should be fine."

"Yeah, we can definitely trust this place," Yusuke spat sarcastically as he walked towards me. He was coming to defend me. The older man had already stepped up in front of me. His aura wasn't hurtful, scary, or anything... negative. It was calm and poised. I didn't sense any threat from him.

"Miss Satomi," he held out his hand as Yusuke walked up to us. I heard the next match start. "My name is Sakyo."

Instinctly, I inched away from him. Just because I didn't sense a threat didn't mean he couldn't become a threat. I could see Hiei glaring up at him from my peripheral vision.

"I would like you to see someone very important," he said calmly as he looked down at me. He had an unusually calm smile for being around here. But I guess if you're around this kind of place long enough, you become comfortable.

"After the shit your tournament pulls, that's not going to happen," Yusuke stepped in between us.

"Yusuke," Sakyo addressed him by first name, which was weird. I doubt they knew each other. He looked at Yusuke and then to Hiei. "If she's harmed, I can assure you that I will be harmed as well."

He stepped towards Yusuke, who stepped aside to let me decide. I looked to Yusuke, wondering why he stepped aside. Maybe he took Sakyo's word.

"Come," Sakyo extended his arm towards the hallway from which he came. "I'm sure you will enjoy seeing this person."

I looked from Sakyo to Hiei, who was still glaring at Sakyo. Hiei didn't trust him. But for some reason, I did. I trusted the man. I didn't sense anything threatening, and it seemed like he was telling the truth. I turned to Yusuke and nodded.

"If I'm not back..." I said quietly.

"Yeah," Yusuke nodded and looked to Hiei. I looked at Hiei one last time before I left but his eyes hadn't left Sakyo. I walked up to Sakyo and he led the way. Soon, we were in the hallway. I walked a few steps behind him so I could get a head start in running away if necessary. He was a human, so I wasn't up against some beast that would surely rip me apart in seconds. I had a more realistic chance...

"You are a lovely child," He said as he turned to face me. I looked at the scar again, it was running down the right side of his face, over his eye. And I began to feel uncomfortable. "It is strange to find human girls here, but I guess it is no surprise."

I looked at him, curious yet nervous. We continued to walk around hallways and staircases. Eventually, we reached the top of the dome. There was carpeting and beautifully painted walls with pictures in gold frames. It seemed nothing like the lower levels and the hallways. The rich were up here. We stopped in front of a door and he opened it. I didn't feel any auras inside and nobody was inside the room. He let me look at the room before entering it, trying to assure me that I would be safe.

"He will arrive soon," he said. He left, but he didn't close the door. He was indicating to me that I was safe here. I looked around the room and looked at the two luxury chairs. They were placed in front of a large glass window that oversaw the arena and the seats. There was a table situated between the chairs. I looked around the room for something I could use to defend myself with in case I was put into a situation. There was a vase full of flowers on the table. I walked up to the window and stood close to the table. I looked out of the window and saw that Yusuke was on the arena now. The platform was larger than I thought it was...

I saw myself in the window's faint reflection, the amount of volume my hair had was unreal, startling me almost. I felt like a lion with a magnificent mane, and despite the current anxious circumstance, I couldn't help but think about being a lion for halloween. Looking past my faint reflection, I looked around for Shuichi and Hiei on the ground. I found Shuichi being tended to by Botan and quickly searched the ground for Hiei.

The tent was destroyed, the nurse gone, along with Hiei. The masked fighter was standing next to who I thought was Kuwabara. I wondered if Hiei was down there and that I just couldn't find him. I felt a presence step into the room as the door closed. I was a bit nervous to turn around and stayed close to the vase. I could hear voices creeping into my head. Some were from the demos, some were from my head. I was anxious, the situation was triggering.

"I'm surprised to see you here," the mature man's voice said.

The voices in my head disappeared instantly. Chills ran down my spine. Goosebumps appeared on my arms and legs.

That voice...

"I didn't raise a liar."

I turned around. I first saw the tray of gourmet food, and the business suit behind it. I watched as the man set the tray down on a table in front of me. He stood up straight, and my eyes trailed up to see the green eyes and sandy blonde hair.

"Dad?"


	11. Little Secrets

I looked around the room, a surreal feeling encompassing me, wondering why my father was here.

"Why are you here, Satomi?" He remained calm, though he seemed a bit upset, his face was tense.

"Why are _you_ here?" I spat out.

He sat down on one of the luxury, leather chairs and lit a cigarette, prompting my stare of disbelief. I couldn't help but wonder when he picked up that habit, but then again, I hadn't seen him in almost two years. He nodded to the chair next to him, gesturing for me to sit down, as he exhaled the smoke from his cigarette through his nostrils.

I sat in the chair next to him, feeling more and more uncomfortable by the second as he continued to smoke. That was my daddy... the man who use to tuck me in bed at night and tell me stories while I sat on his lap. Now he was smoking cigarettes and betting in a death tournament...

"Satomi," he sighed. "Just tell me why you're here, and I'll explain things to you."

My father was speaking fluent Japanese, even though he was born and raised in America. After a business internship in Japan and meeting mother, having two children, planning only one of them... I knew many people here figured it was a tad bit weird to see a white man speaking Japanese, just as many thought that of me.

But what was more important was my dilemma, whether I could trust him; he never called to check up on me, didn't exactly protest when I asked to stay in Japan when they left. But that was my daddy. I had to trust him, even if his love dwindled for me over time.

"Well, my head... It's a long story."

"I had a feeling," he took another drag from his cigarette. "Your grandmother had a similar issue."

"Grandma Jeanne had schizophrenia?" I my heart lept with surprise.

His mother died before I was born so I never met her, and I didn't know exactly when she died. My father always avoided talking about her, but it wasn't strange to me at the time, we avoided our family like the plague.

"Yes. Nobody caught on to it, it progressed as she got older, to a point where it was uncontrollable. She would hear voices from her head... and from them," He nodded to the audience out of the window. "I had a feeling your schizophrenia was the same way. When we had caught the signs, I was relieved we took you to the doctor when we did."

"I wish she was alive," I sighed, looking out to the platform. I watched Yusuke's small body fight against the opponent. "She would be able to help me."

"No, Satomi," he turned to me, and I looked into his eyes, the color exactly like mine. I realized now that my spiritual link was from my fathers side of the family. "She couldn't have helped you."

"Why not?"

"She couldn't control the voices, Satomi. They drove her to her death."

I looked down at the red and gold patterned carpet, unsettling, let down. She had committed suicide.

"Satoshi?" I looked up to my dad.

He shook his head, exhaling more smoke, only furthering my curiosity. I was unsure if that meant he was unsure, or if he didn't want to talk about it.

"Being here has helped me a bit," I kept my voice quiet. "I'm not as unstable anymore. I can differentiate voices and where they come from, find people, I've been told that I can possibly read people."

His smile was proud as he looked down at me, I had accomplished something Grandma Jeanne couldn't, "You're gifted."

I smiled and turned to the tray in front of me on the table. Sushi, chocolate covered fruits and meat...

"That boy," my dad said as he looked out the window again. "Shuichi. His name's Kurama. I was surprised to see him here, I remember when we were neighbors with Shiori and you two met. It's unsettling knowing he's a demon."

I looked down at Shuichi from where I was sitting. I didn't think of him as the demon Yoko Kurama. He was still my Shuichi that I met when I was a child. Even if he was Yoko Kurama, that didn't change anything to me. "He's the boy you knew and watched grow up," I said, defending him.

"He dragged you into this?" He asked.

"No," I said. "He was protecting me from a lot of stuff that happened. I ended up getting dragged into it anyways."

My dad looked down at the arena, pondering.

"I remember you two would be in the front yard on early spring days, when the weather would be warm," my dad smiled, his tongue gently touched the tip of his central incisors as his lips parted.

* * *

I remember I was around six years old and I had been playing in my front yard on the driveway. We had moved into the new house about a month before. I had been drawing something with chalk in the driveway. A ball had bounced over my drawing and I watched it continue to bounce into my yard on the small portion of grass. I had retrieved it and looked around for whose it was.

"It's mine," Shuichi had said, he was a year older than me, a few inches taller than me.

He was standing in front of my driveway, I handed it to him and smiled. The voices weren't a problem in my life yet.

"Your hair is nice," he had said simply, his face almost emotionless, seemingly unamused as he looked at the color.

"Satomi!" My daddy's voice had carried over to the front yard, and I looked past Shuichi, finding him talking to our neighbor, Shiori. "Come over here."

I had walked over to my father, Shuichi walking next to me, and we made our way next door.

"This is Shiori, she's our neighbor," Daddy bent over and put his hands on his knees to talk to me. "She'll be looking over you while Mommy and I are late at work."

"What about Satoshi?" I was very attached to my older brother at the time.

"He'll be here with you too!" My father had smiled. "Mrs. Shiori is such a nice lady, she's going to let you and Satoshi stay over with Shuichi after school time."

He had looked over to Shuichi and smiled, prompting Shuichi's polite, fake smile.

Shiori had squatted to be face-to-face with me, "It's nice to meet you, Satomi. My, what lovely hair you have."

I had smiled and giggled, placing my hands on my cheeks to cover the blushing, "Thanks."

She had looked to Shuichi and said to both of us, "I hope you two will become great friends."

The two of us turned to each other, and I wondered if we would become close at all. For a while, he wasn't fond of me, he often avoided me and was merely polite to me in order to maintain good small talk between our parents, honoring Shiori's growing unconditional love for me. It took a while, but we became fairly close, I clung to him and only him, aside from my brother, and he was a wonderful friend, support system, that soon grew to take the place of another brother figure for me.

* * *

My eyes drifted up to see my father once more, "I remember those days too."

We sat in silence for a while, he was watching the fight, I eyed the types of food on display on the tray.

"I still don't understand why you chose to come here," my dad sighed, massaging his temple as he stuck the cigarette in his mouth to free his hand.

I looked at his hair, his face; he was sad, tired, growing old. Sadness washed over me, he shouldn't be this stressed, but I guess this tournament, the people behind it, took a toll on him. Some grey hair was flecked around in his sandy blonde as I stared, it was unnoticeable until now, faint crows feet perched against his eyes, wrinkles against his cheeks. He was becoming old, though he wasn't an old man in the slightest, he was on his way to taking the appearance.

"It's hard to explain," My eyes drifted up to him again from the tray, and I avoided the question, wanting answers from him. "What about_ you_? Why are you here, dad?"

He got up to pour himself a small glass of liquor, "Satomi, I'm here doing what every other rich man here is doing. Betting."

"But why?" Smoking was strange to me, the alcohol wasn't. "How did you even find out about this place?"

"When you're rich, you have connections," he turned to me and gestured to the tray of food on the table in front of me. "Try some."

I looked at the platter and picked up a chocolate covered strawberry, enjoying the fact that he remembered how much I enjoyed chocolate.

"How long have you been doing this?" I chewed, covering my mouth with my hand as I swallowed, and then picked up the chop sticks and grabbed a piece of sushi.

I wasn't that mad at him, I was happy to see him to be honest.

"I started gambling a while before Satoshi..." He trailed off, and I started to chew slower, saddened about the memory of my brother.

"You don't look like you like this stuff," I said quietly, referring to the tournament, watching him as he stared blankly at the fight, unamused.

He stayed quiet. I wondered why he was here, why he was betting.

"You don't remember Sakyo?" My father changed the subject.

"That man that led me here?" I continued to chew. "No."

"You were not paying attention when you were with Tarukane?"

I inhaled, swallowing my food, and it lodged in my throat. I began choking, coughing up the food.

"WHAT?" I screeched as the food unlodged itself, flying onto the floor in fits of coughing.

I stood up, shocked he knew about that. Tarukane was apart of this tournament?! I began backtracking my memory, remembering the room I was in with Tarukane as I tried clearing my throat. I didn't hear anything, see anyone else... I was a bit too fucking busy spiraling downwards into an emotional episode to notice anyone else.

"I had heard of Tarukane's plan, and was talking about it to Sakyo," my father explained, trying to calm me down. "I asked Sakyo to order for his death."

I stared at him in disbelief. He knew this whole time... why didn't he say anything to me?

"Why didn't you help me? Why didn't you check up on me?" I was so angry I could barely raise my voice.

"I did help you, Satomi," he said simply. "I had asked Sakyo for the assassination of Tarukane."

"But..."

"Satomi, I couldn't contact you about that. This is a dangerous game with dangerous people," he turned to look out at the arena. "In a dangerous world..."

He walked up to the window and I could see his faint reflection, a grim, sullen expression on his face.

"If I had shown my face to you, checked up on you about it, mentioned anything to you about Tarukane and my connection to him, a whole other world would have opened up for you. A world I want to keep you from, people I want to keep you from. This tournament, the committee, the people behind it... If I could keep you sheltered and away from this place, I would. But I had a feeling why you were here when I saw you walk into the arena with the Urameshi Team. I'm not going to take this away from you if it's going to help you. So, I understand why you're here," he said as he took another drink.

He paused and watched the fight, waiting for me to say something to him. But I had nothing to say, I was a bit angry at him. But if the people in this place were as bad as he said it was, then... father knows best... right?

"But you need to understand that it's dangerous. I'd rather you keep clear from the arena as much as possible," he said to me.

He wanted me off the grass area and up in the seats, and I watched as in front of him, Yusuke's opponent flew into the crowd and crashed into the seats, destroying the seating area. I laughed a bit at both the irony and my dad's expression as he watched what had happened. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Then this shows you shouldn't be in the area at all," he turned back towards me, trying to act like a stern father.

He'd never disciplined me before.

"Dad," I started. "You said it yourself, I can't get better if I'm sheltered."

And suddenly, a thought came to mind. Sheltering me, smothering me... Mother. _Can't spell smother without mother..._ I thought as I remembered how she dealt with me and my episodes.

"Where's mother?" I wondered if she was here on the island.

"I'm on a business trip," he quipped quietly, taking another drink from the cup as he turned around to look at the fight.

I laughed, realizing it was probably a good idea she didn't know any of this. She wasn't exactly a rational person when it came to things she didn't approve of. The door opened and I felt a familiar presence come in alongside a calm...poised aura. Hiei was standing behind Sakyo in the doorway.

"He's been waiting out here for a while," Sakyo said as he walked towards me. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Satomi. I'm sorry I didn't properly introduce myself earlier."

He held out his hand to me and I shook it from where I was sitting down.

"Hello..." I took his hand, my voice shrank.

"The next team's match will be starting soon, Adrian," Sakyo said as he turned to my father.

They seemed to be friendly, they began to talk and I looked over to Hiei, wondering why he was up here... and then I realized I had been blocking auras. I had been too preoccupied with my father that I hadn't bothered to think about anything else. I didn't realize Hiei was outside this whole time. I walked up to him and he kept his eyes on my father and Sakyo.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly.

"I don't trust them," he replied.

"My dad?" I asked, surprised.

He ignored me. I took that as a yes. I was a bit hurt, my father wasn't suspicious...

"Come inside, young man," I heard my father call. Hiei looked at me and I stepped aside, waiting to see if he'd walk closer to my father. He walked in the room some more, but didn't stray far from the door. He wanted a quick escape. My father was holding his glass of liquor in one hand and his cigarette in the other.

"You know my daughter well, I presume," my father started.

I stood next to Hiei, wondering what my father was getting at. Hiei didn't say anything, like always.

"I'm hoping you would agree to protecting her while she's here," my dad continued. "I don't trust the demons or people around here. I'm sure she's already had confrontations with a few demons, in fact. I'd like that to be avoided and have her safe. Obviously, you can't do much while you're in battle but..." He paused to take a drink from the glass. "The more often she's being watched, the less often I need to worry about her safety. I would do it myself, but I'm just a human man who's growing old. I couldn't possibly protect her from the lowest class of demon out there."

"Hn," Hiei became amused.

"I can make it worth your while," my dad was referring to money.

"Dad!" I snapped at him.

I didn't like him offering money to others, he was able to do that because money was nothing to him. He probably wiped his ass with money nowadays, he always bribed people to get what he wanted, he was a sweet talker with money. That's why he was such a rich businessman, he was able to persuade others.

"I don't need your money," Hiei answered.

"So, you agree?" My dad took a drag from his cigarette.

Hiei stayed silent and I saw the scoreboard below change, saying that the Urameshi Team won. Hiei turned away from him and exited the room. I looked at my dad.

"You can't just go bribing people!" I was completely embarrassed, my face burned as he laughed and walked over to me, hugging me.

"Satomi, I know I don't talk to you often, but you're my daughter and I love you," He pulled away from the hug and looked down at me. "I want to keep you safe if you want to stay here."

I let go of the tight embrace, unsure of what to say. I was a bit overwhelmed with all that had happened recently, still a bit confused about why he was here.

"Stop by up here more often, just tell the officials you're Adrian's daughter, they'll know who you're talking about," my father said as he pat me on the back with the cigarette in his hand. This was his way of telling me to leave. "Or find me elsewhere at the hotel. I'll be here on the island throughout the tournament."

"Go on," he pointed to the door with his glass, smiling, "Go help your friend's team. We'll spend some more time together soon."

I said goodbye and left into the hallway, finding Hiei leaning against the wall next to the door. I looked to him, embarrassed for what my dad did.

"Sorry about that," I mumbled, avoiding eye contact. "How's your arm?"

He wasn't wearing bandages, but all that was visible under his cloak was his hand, looking battered and bruised, strange black lines formed.

"Fine."

I stared at him for a while, wondering why he came up here. But another thought was more important.

"Why don't you trust my father?" I asked.

My dad was a good man...

"He's a member of the Black Black Club," he replied.

I looked at him, confused. I didn't know what that was.

"Those are rich criminals," surprisingly, he was disgusted.

"You don't fucking know my dad..." my voice stayed low despite my rising anger, and I shoved my face into his.

Disrespecting my family was a _huge_ no. My father worked for everything he had, he wasn't a criminal.

"You don't even know your dad."

Low blow.

I felt winded, as if someone had punched me in my stomach. He knew I hadn't talked to my father in years, and even when I was living with him I was ignored, especially when my episodes became frequent. I didn't blame my dad much because he was still dealing with Satoshi's suicide on top of my episodes.

I tried to slap Hiei, swinging my arm towards him as fast as I could, but alas, he caught my wrist and stopped me with ease. He held my wrist gently, but I was too angry to care. I bet he thought he was looking out for me, but this was the completely wrong way of going about it, and I was too angry to care about his intentions.

I was furious.

"They're sadistic fucks who gamble on the lives of humans and weak demons, torturing them," Hiei's tone was something else, dark, unsettling. "And your father is a part of that."

I stared at him, too angry to speak.

"This tournament," he spat, using this as an example.

His grip on my wrist softened, and I took advantage of his loosened grip, snatching my wrist away from him as I walked away, too angry to be around him. That was my father, and my father wasn't like that...

Hiei didn't walk behind me, and I didn't feel his presence around me as I walked back to the hotel.

* * *

Nobody was in either of the rooms at the hotel yet, they were still at the arena, and I took advantage of the empty rooms by slamming the door shut and rummaged through my duffle bag to find a CD. I didn't want to think, I didn't want to hear anything, my body shook violently with anger. I wanted nothing more than to punch Hiei in his fucking rude face.

I was shaking, unable to let my anger out, and I looked for a CD player, finding one underneath the TV, and I turned the music up, but since I didn't want the people next door to complain, I put it at an acceptable level.

But even The Misfits didn't help, as I became angrier with each passing second, and I looked around the room for something to take my anger out on.

But there was nothing. I put my hands on my head and tried taking deep breathes to calm down. That was my father, my daddy... He was a good guy... even if he messed up sometimes, he was a good guy. Violent voices surfaced from my head, and I tried to calm down, taking sharp, deep breaths as I laid on a bed and tried to control myself. I hadn't had violent voices in a long time... then again, I wasn't this angry in a long time. The last time I had angry voices I was expelled from my grade school...

My family was a sensitive subject because of everything we've gone through together, even if we weren't always physically or emotionally together. That was my family. A few songs passed by and I sat up on the bed, thinking about my father, about what he was doing here, why he was betting.

_Take out the papers and the trash_

_Or you don't get no spendin' cash_

_If you don't scrub that kitchen floor_

_You ain't gonna rock and roll no more_

The Coasters were nice, but I had calmed down so there was no need for loud music. The voices were disappearing as I began turning down the music, honestly, I was more sad now than anything. I sat in front of the CD player and began to think about my father again, but the door opened and everyone but Hiei walked in. Relieved flushed through me as I realized he wasn't with them.

"There ya are!" Kuwabara said as he walked inside. Shizuru was helping him walk in. He was a bit battered up but he was fine otherwise. "We were wondering where ya were."

"What did Sakyo want?" Yusuke asked.

I shook my head, I didn't want to talk about it yet. He understood, but I had a feeling he'd pry again later. Everyone gathered in the room and began to hang out and get their wounds tended to, and I hung out near the window, immersed in my own thoughts until the room's phone rang.

I offered to answer it, but the room was a tad bit loud, it was a bit hard to hear over the phone.

"Hello?" I asked, though I couldn't hear anyone on the other side.

"Hello?" I tried again.

No answer, I shrugged and hung up.

"Who was it?" Yusuke asked.

"I don't know, there was no answer," I replied as I walked to the bed. "Probably the wrong number, I guess."

A few hours later, Hiei returned, and he stayed away from the group, merely staying near the window for a quick escape or if he merely wanted to leave. We were all in the room, talking, I stayed near Yukina, showing her the nail polish I'd brought along, asking her what color she'd want, but when Hiei came in, I glared at him. He wasn't welcome now, but he didn't look my way, he was unphased, though I knew he could feel me glaring at the back of his head.

"Are you okay?" Yukina asked as she watched my expression change.

"Fine," I quickly turned back to her, my expression changing completely to that of a happy face.

I talked to Yukina for a few moments more, and she picked a color, a beautiful Bondi Blue right as there was a knock on the door. The room became a bit quiet, wondering who it was on the other side.

"Room service," A soft, female voice called.

"I'll get it," I answered as I got up off the bed.

Everyone went back to what they were doing as I answered the door and upon opening it, a large cart of food and a medium sized, purple gift bag next to one of the trays was ushered inside.

"Yue, Satomi?" The woman asked.

"Yes..."

"Your father ordered some treats for you all," the woman explained, and I realized quickly by her outfit she was a maid.

"Oh, thank you for bringing them," I smiled and moved out of the way for her to bring in the cart.

She pushed it inside and then left. Kuwabara and Yusuke were the first to run over and see the food.

"What are these?" Yusuke asked, looking at the weird food.

It was the type of food my father had brought up before in the VIP rooms above the arena. There was sushi, chocolate covered meats and fruits, some assorted plates with lids over them to keep the meals hot.

"Food," I replied.

"You ordered some?" Kuwabara asked as he picked up a chocolate covered bundle of grapes.

"I wouldn't eat that," Hiei chimed in. I turned around to glare at him.

"Why not?" Kuwabara asked sadly.

"Her father ordered it."

"Why's your dad here?" Yusuke looked at me for an answer.

Shuichi looked at me, curious. Eventually, everyone's eyes were on me. I picked up a piece of chocolate covered meats and ate it, showing how I was going to be fine, my father wouldn't poison anyone. Yusuke saw and followed my lead, finding something he wanted to eat as I took the gift bag and dug inside of it.

It was fairly heavy.

"Why is Adrian here?" Shuichi began pressing me for an answer.

He never pressed me for answers unless it was serious.

"Her father's a member of the Black Black Club," Hiei answered for me.

Yusuke and Kuwabara stopped chewing and looked at me. Shuichi and Botan looked at me as well.

"Satomi..." Botan started.

"I'm just as surprised as you are," I snapped, I didn't want to be consoled or reprimanded for something I didn't know or have control of. I also didn't want my father to be thought of as evil. "But my father's not what you think he is... he's not a horrible person."

I picked up a small card in an envelope. It was fairly heavy for an envelope, and I dug inside, pulling out a lacy, see-through dress. It was floral patterned and black. I stuck my pinky nail through one of the openings in the floral laces and it went through, and noted it was sleeveless and had a business-like collar that was adorned with pearls.

"What kind of dad gets his daughter that?" Kuwabara asked.

"You wear something underneath it," I snapped at him quietly.

I was tired of everyone jumping on my father, they hadn't even met him. I dug into the bag some more and found a black, long tube top-like dress that was meant to go underneath it. There were large, black, open-toed platform high heels in the bag along with some pearl earrings, a black clutch, and a black head band, also adorned with pearls.

I was confused and opened the envelope, and two cards fell out along with a burgundy pet collar. I picked up the the cards and focused on the collar. There was a gold, crown shaped name tag attached to it. The name tag read "_Hime,_" and I opened the first card, finding a picture of a small, golden, fluffy kitten. Underneath there was my father's handwriting in his perfect calligraphy.

"_For when you return home. Happy belated 15th birthday, Satomi."_

He was a few months late on my birthday, it had passed back in October... but I was happy, very happy he even bothered to get me something at all.

I opened the next card and saw it was for a reservation.

"What is it?" Yusuke lookde over my shoulder.

"It's a reservation for a dinner," I answered.

I thought my father had sent it to me, but it wasn't signed by him.

"Who thought it would be funny to not invite me when all this nice food is around?" A voice asked.

I looked up towards the front door and found Koenma in his older form, I had seen him like this only once before. I wasn't happy about seeing him, though. I was still angry at the fact that I was working for him. I didn't even sign a contract, there wasn't any fine print, yet I was stuck doing what he wanted. He was pretty much going to keep me from my future, and I watched with disdain as he picked up foods he wanted to eat.

"I hear your father's a member of the Black Black Club," Koenma said, chewing. "And he's friendly with Sakyo."

"Okay?" I became snide, I was _this _close to slapping someone...

"That dinner reservation," Koenma nodded to the card as he continued to chew. He was here for a while, I needed to keep track of paying attention to auras and voices because I was getting tired of people eavesdropping. Blocking them out was progress, now I needed to focus on picking and choosing what voices and auras I wanted to zero in on. "Who sent it to you?"

I looked down at the signature again, trying to make it out.

"Sakyo..." I replied quietly, surprised.

"Perfect," Koenma said, taking a bite out of a piece of chocolate covered sliver of steak. "I have a mission for you."

I had a feeling where this was going...


	12. Batty Lashes

I looked at Koenma, waiting for him to say what I felt I already knew.

"You'll go to the dinner reservation and pry into Sakyo's intentions," Koenma explained. I was right. "Winners in this tournament get their wish granted. And Sakyo is a sadistic, cruel person. I have a terrible feeling of his plans for if he wins the tournament. You'll be going to find out, whether you pry it out of him or your father."

I looked at him and could feel everyone's eyes on me. I didn't really want to go, but maybe...

"This is the last thing I do for you," I didn't want to be doing things for him when I left to university. I had my own life I wanted to live. "After this, I'm done..."

Koenma shrugged, "We'll see how this goes first. What time is your reservation?"

"Later tonight, at eleven," I replied as I checked the reservation. I looked at the clock. I had plenty of time to get ready. I let out a long, heavy sigh and put the new clothes I got back into the gift bag, walking with it in my hand towards the bathroom. "I'll be in the bathroom..."

* * *

I had been in the bathroom for hours getting ready. If I knew anything about rich people, evil or not, appearances mattered. We weren't rich until I turned about nine years old. Then I saw father's coworkers, then next year I saw his underlings. I noticed the people he would negotiate with, the people he would go to dinner with. They wore expensive clothing and jewelry. Appearances mattered to the rich, and if I was going out in front of them, in front of millionaires, I wasn't going to embarrass my father. I spent about an hour on my nails, both my hands and my feet, doing a black and white french-tipped mani-pedi to match the outfit I received.

My hair took two hours as I groomed and curled it into the right areas, my shoulder crack a few times as I fixed my hair. My shoulder was pretty much healed, but it definitely didn't heal right. It didn't hurt, though, so I wasn't fussed. I had my hair in a high pony-tail near the crown my head, hair fell down in curls while I used the black head band to force the bump in place. I was in my underwear the whole time so I wrapped a towel around myself as I left the bathroom quickly to go get the make-up pallete that was in my duffle bag. I jogged over to my duffle bag and retrieved it.

I quickly dug through my bag, feeling like Mary Poppin's, and as soon as I returned to the bathroom, I took off my towel and began my eyeliner when I heard someone open the door. I looked over and it was Yukina. She came inside and closed the door. She looked sad and worried.

"What's wrong?" I turned back to the mirror to continue my eyeliner.

"Do you really think it's a good idea for you to go to dinner with that man?" she asked. "He's apart of the people that..."

"I know," I cut her off. "But if it'll get Koenma off my back, I'll do it."

"Satomi," I heard her voice break, like she was going to cry. Luckily, I finished my eyeliner in time to turn over towards her.

"What?" I was surprised, but mostly worried.

"You don't need to..." she said as I saw the tears forming in her eyes. "You don't need to do that with that man..."

"WHAT?" I laughed. My cackling carried into the room, I was laughing so hard I couldn't stand up and was leaning on the counter by my elbow. "Oh, god, Yukina."

I kept laughing and she stopped crying, slowly, and looked up at me curiously.

"I'm not going to have sex with him," I said between laughs. "That's not going to happen."

I calmed down and went over to give her a hug, "He's like twice my age and I don't even think he wants that. Even if he does, it won't happen."

"But you don't know why he invited you," Yukina stayed quietly.

"Don't worry," I said. "I'll figure it out. I'll be fine."

I started laughing again as I hugged her, remembering how she thought I was going to have sex with him, and she smiled. She didn't even mind that I was laughing so hard, she was nowhere close to embarrassed for her assumptions, she was just relieved I wasn't selling myself to him.

"Go on, I need to get ready," I smiled to her as I chuckled some more.

She left the bathroom, but I couldn't stop laughing and had to re-do my make up countless times. My brush kept sliding off my eyelid as I laughed, messing p the faint, brown eye shadow I was trying to apply, and after a few minutes, after forcing myself to calm down, I was able to perfect the natural skin tone I was attempting to feign. Blushing the apples of my cheeks, lining my eye liner perfectly, winging it, it took a while to perfect my make-up.

But I was able to get dressed sooner than I planned, and the outfit I was given was strange, I hadn't worn anything like this before.

The top of my chest above my breasts was exposed, revealing my skin slightly underneath the pattern of roses and vines with thorns, but it was only noticeable up close. The under dress, which was only a shade lighter compared to the dress itself was perfect underneath, being able to faintly see the pattern in the dress.

The dress stopped mid-thigh and was form-fitting, showing my body shape, prompting my realization that I hadn't seen how I had grown up. I was becoming a woman, and it was noticeable. A dual emotion of strange acceptance and sadness came quickly, because this meant I was growing up, becoming an adult...

I didn't really want to grow up, now that I thought about it.

I fixed the pearl adorned collar to lay perfectly and looked at myself in the mirror to change my earrings to the ones given to me. It was ten, now.

I had really spent all this time getting ready... It's not something that surprises you when you have no friends and have nothing else to do but fix your hair or make-up all day if your homework is finished.

I put on the shoes and took a deep breath as I grabbed the black clutch purse and exited the bathroom. I enjoyed hearing my heels, they sounded like a horse on asfalt against the stone bathroom floor, but they became muffled when I entered the room on the carpet.

I sensed everyone was still out there, so I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

I heard a cat-call and looked over, seeing Botan wink at me, a jokingly way to say I looked good.

I smiled and stepped up to my duffle bag. I remembered I hadn't used this duffle bag since I moved into the apartment, so if I was right then there would be a box cutter... and there was! I sighed with relief as I pulled it out of the pocket and put it into the clutch purse along with my phone, room key, reservation card, and some money. Sakyo was human, so I would have a chance at defending myself with this. I was standing next to Shuichi and realized he hadn't moved from where he was since I went into the bathroom hours ago. I looked over and he was smiling at me. I realized he was badly hurt when I noticed the bandages.

"Oh, god," I said, sitting down on the bed next to him. I was going to put my hand on his arm but realized that would probably hurt. "This happened during the match..."

"I'll be fine, Satomi," he said. "Go start your mission."

I was sad as I looked at him. My best friend... my only friend. Why was he doing this? I didn't understand this tournament...

"When's the next match?" I asked.

"The day after next."

I looked at his bandages and grimaced. What was the point of this tournament... Sighing, I stood up and adjusted my dress, ready to leave to the lobby.

"Should we let her go alone looking like that?" Kuwabara asked.

"Like what?" I gasped, I thought he was implying I looked trampy. I personally thought I looked classy.

Kuwabara looked away to Yusuke for support, and Yusuke just shook his head as he was next to Keiko-a _don't drag me into this, dude_ look_._

"What are you implying?!" I huffed. I looked around, wanting an explanation.

"Satomi, you look beautiful, that's why Kuwabara said that," Shuichi said calmly as he adjusted to get comfortable.

"Oh..." I said quietly, embarrassed. "I'll go..."

"No, Kuwabara is right, though," Yusuke chimed in. "Should we really just let you go alone?"

"Surely Sakyo has other intentions of inviting you," Shuichi said. "I would agree, but I can't afford anything in my condition."

"Yusuke and Kuwabara, I enjoy your company and everything, but you both aren't exactly stealthy," I said quietly.

"Then Hiei," Yusuke said as he looked over to Hiei, who had been sitting on the window sill as usual.

"No," I snapped as I glared at Hiei. I was still angry at him. The boys looked surprised. They either knew me as quiet or crying, not rude and angry.

"I wouldn't watch over you if you begged, woman," Hiei said snidely.

I sighed heavily and left the room, I didn't want to be near him. "I'll be fine," I said as I left.

He was so... emotionally draining.

I searched for Sakyo's aura and found him in the lobby. I took the elevator down to the lobby, and as I exited the elevator and looked around the lobby at the rich people, I realized the rich weren't staring at me anymore, I had blended in.

"I was wondering if you would agree," I heard Sakyo's voice behind me. I turned around and saw him in his business suit, an unlit cigarette in his mouth. He took it out of his mouth and gestured to another elevator. "Come, we'll use this elevator."

I followed him into one of the elevators and he pressed the button labeled B1. I didn't see that button in the other elevators, but then again I didn't pay attention to many buttons...

"I'm sure your father will enjoy seeing you in your new outfit," he smiled to me as he put the cigarette into his chest pocket.

His smile was different, it was a bit unsettling. It wasn't a nice smile, but it wasn't dangerous or creepy either.

"My father's attending?" I couldn't raise my voice for some reason.

I had a feeling he would attend, but I figured acting dumb would suffice for tonight.

"Yes, you'll be meeting us all," he answered.

"Us...?" I had a feeling he was referring to the whole Club.

He just smiled that smile again, and the elevator sounded, prompting the doors to opened, revealing what seemed to be another lobby, but with less people. The aroma was sweet and savory, encompassing the entire second lobby, it smelled of tender meats being seared in seasoning. We walked across a small lobby and came upon a small hedge of bushes that were planted in a short decorative, granite barrier. There was a small podium a few feet past the entrance of the restaurant.

This was were the rich people ate, not around the arena obviously, or from room service.

I stayed a few feet behind Sakyo as he checked us in and we began walking to a table on our own. We walked into the back, where many others were. There were plenty of rich people dining, but I wasn't as nervous before since I blended in. I could hear some voices, but they weren't from my head. And their auras weren't harsh. I was handling this better than I thought I would. We came upon a large table that held seven men, my father was sitting there with them.

"Ah, Sakyo!" one of the men called. They were all old men. Sakyo and my father had to be among the youngest. My father turned to see Sakyo, but choked on his drink when he saw me next to him. He wasn't expecting me.

"Sa.." he said quietly as he cleared his throat. "Satomi, what are you doing here?"

I began to answer, but Sakyo spoke up for me.

"I invited her here," Sakyo said. "What better opportunity to introduce your valuable daughter than now?"

_Valuable? _I thought. That was the _wrong _choice of words.

That was a red flag. I felt nervous and trapped as I looked to my father, who was just as anxious with his nervous expression as he was turned towards me. But he changed his expression when he turned back towards the group, composing himself. That wasn't good at all. Something was wrong here. _Way_ more wrong than I already thought it was while coming down here. I thought my father knew I was coming.

"Adrian, I heard about your daughter," an older man with a beard chimed in. "I heard she's very talented."

"Why, she's a Southern Belle!" Another man with dyed grey hair chimed in as he looked at me.

He was referring to my sandy blonde hair and green eyes, I looked American.

Sakyo pulled out the chair next to my father and I sat down next to him. I didn't feel comfortable anymore now that I knew something was wrong. Obviously, the situation was suspicious in the first place, but I thought my dad knew I was coming... his nervous face was upsetting. I looked to my father and smiled shakily, and he returned the same, nervous smile.

"What are you doing here at the tournament, young lady?" a slightly younger man asked.

He was still old, older than my father, but compared to the old man he was sitting next to...

"Gondawara," my father chimed in with his business, white-toothed smile. "Why are you still here? I assumed you would leave after your team lost."

My father was protecting me, he didn't want me around them, he didn't want them to know me. I felt overwhelmed and then tried to block out auras. But one stood out in particular. Hiei was here. As nonchalantly as possible, I took a sip from the glass that was placed in front of me by a waiter and set the glass down as I looked around the room for him. Maybe I was just feeling his presence from upstairs... no.

He was here, somewhere. Relief flushed over me, the another part of me was irritated he was here since I was still angry.

"Something wrong, Satomi?" Sakyo asked. I turned to him and gave him a fake smile.

"No, just looking around."

"Are you looking to learn from your father?" An older, fat man asked.

"Butajiri," my father tried chiming in again. But Butajiri interrupted him.

"A good way to learn how businesses actually work is to come here," he chortled.

"I'm looking into the medical field," I replied quietly as the waiter came.

The men ordered drinks.

"I'll have a margarita," I giggled a bit as I looked to my dad.

"Make that a virgin," My dad looked up at the waiter.

I smiled at my dad, he knew I was joking around, but he was unamused, now wasn't the time for lighthearted jokes. I could feel Hiei moving around the area. He was still close though. I looked around, pretending to look at the restaurant. I gave up looking for him and focused on the table.

"Dad," I started as I turned to him. "What team is yours?"

"I'm in a joint ownership with Sakyo," he replied quietly as the waiter came to the table with our drinks.

I looked to Sakyo for the answer.

"Toguro Team," he took a drink from his glass.

"And the winners get their wishes granted, right?" I asked, looking around the table.

My father pulled out his phone and began texting someone. Probably mother.

"Whatever they want," Gondawara replied sullenly. He had lost, so of course there was no wish for him.

"What do you want if you win?" I turned to Sakyo.

My father began coughing violently and was turning away from the table, away from me. I turned to him and put my hand on his back, consoling him. He was turning the cell phone's screen towards me.

"_Don't ask about that_" it read in a text message.

I felt my heart plop into my stomach as my brow furrowed in confusion. Something was definitely wrong...

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly, patting his back as he calmed down. I was a pretty good actor when I was quiet.

"I should quit those cigarettes," my father laughed shakily as he recovered.

Two other men laughed with him, he was probably more rich than them and they were kissing his ass.

They began talking about their plans for after the tournament, and I tried to pay attention. I did try, really, but it was so...boring. It was about their companies. It had nothing to do with this tournament or the Spirit or Demon world. But then, thoughts were forming in my head. Thoughts that weren't my own... I could see pictures flashing by, Butajiri was in a bathroom full of blood, bathing.

Another one of a demon being tortured, disemboweled... I looked over to Butajiri who had a dirty, sadistic smile on his face. The rest of the men were talking, nobody was paying attention to us. He was thinking those things on purpose... he knew I would pick up on them. I had never picked up on images and thoughts before, but... I was too preoccupied with the images in my head to worry about a new power I picked up on. I felt horrible, sick to my stomach. I wanted to puke and just lie in my pool of vomit... that's how horrible I felt.

I became scared and focused on Hiei's presence again. I felt him continue to move around the restaurant. I didn't feel safe here.

_Stay in one place... _I thought as I looked around the room again, pretending to look at the decorations and plants that were around the restaurant.

_Stop looking suspicious, Yue, _a voice snapped at me in my head.

I jumped in fright in my seat and almost knocked over the glass of water in front of me.

"Something wrong?" Sakyo asked.

"Just chills," I tried to smile calmly.

I was scared and becoming anxious. That was not a familiar voice from my head.

_What the hell... _I thought.

_It's suspicious for you to look around the restaurant every three seconds, stupid woman_.

It was Hiei. I began to calm down and sighed, but now I was a bit nervous because I didn't know he could do this. I felt a bit violated by my privacy and was a bit nervous because new situations and my head didn't mix well. Everything right now was new and overwhelming, but I was handling it much better than I normally would have.

"Is there a restroom in here?" I tried raising my voice but it stayed low, politely looking around the table.

"Over there on the left," My dad nodded his head in the direction.

"I'll be back," I got up and headed towards the bathroom.

"Hurry, or you'll miss the entree's," Sakyo gave that same unusual smile and I smiled back to be polite as I headed to the bathroom.

_What are you doing? _I asked, still angry at him. _Go the hell away._

_You're having dinner with the Black Black Club and expect to handle it alone? You can't even protect yourself, stupid woman._

I mocked his voice as I entered the female's restroom, _I wouldn't watch over you if you begged, woman._

He was silent as I stepped in front of a mirror, pretending to fix my make-up.

_And what do you know that I don't? What's happening? _I asked, but there was no reply.

He was still around, but ignoring me. Good. I stared at myself in the mirror for a few minutes before leaving. I didn't know what else to do with my time, I didn't want to look suspicious coming out right away. I came in here because I was going to ask what he was doing here and what he was talking about, but he was ignoring me, so I had to play it off for a while.

When I returned to the table a few minutes later, I felt a new presence in the restaurant. It was familiar and eerie, but I couldn't place it. A waiter came and asked if anyone would like to order anything. A few of the men ordered some entree's and I declined.

"Give her an appetizer then," Sakyo chimed in.

My father and I both turned to him, wondering what he was doing. The waiter was waiting on me to answer.

"Uh... A salad, I guess...?" I replied meekly as I was getting more nervous with Sakyo's actions, and my father was feeling the same way.

The waiter walked away and Sakyo started talking to me again.

"I hear you've improved in your abilities," his words caused the men to stop their side chatter and tune into our conversation.

"No," I lied. "Not really..."

"I hear your ability is like having a jagan eye, without having that horrid third eye," the older bearded man chimed in. "It's good since you're a beautiful young girl."

"A ja-what?" I asked, honestly confused.

"Satomi, there's no need to lie to us," Sakyo said as I picked up my drink the waiter left me.

I took a sip and set it down, shakily, nervous.

"I'm not that good," I lied.

Well, I was partially honest. I didn't know what a jagan eye was so I couldn't really give an honest answer anyways. Hell, I didn't even know what I could do... I was still finding everything out myself. Like just a few minutes ago, picking up on thoughts and images in others heads. Reading their minds. I did that involuntarily, and I didn't know I could do that until just now.

"Well, you were saying earlier how you were able to locate people, read people," Sakyo smiled, his smile growing darker.

He was up to something... he was giving away my information to them. It was going to be a Tarukane episode all over again. I didn't understand why he was doing this. I stayed quiet and watched as Sakyo turned to my father and held that smile. I looked to my father and he was angry, his eyes were narrowed, tense, his jaw clenched. I didn't know what Sakyo was doing...

The waiter stepped up and delivered the entree's and set down a salad in front of me. I was thinking of something to get myself out of here.

"You can improve," another man said. I was beginning to shake a bit because I was picking up on their thoughts, what they wanted to use me for... what they wanted to do to me...

"I just have a mental illness," I said, trying anything I could to make them stop prying. It wasn't working though, I had a feeling it wouldn't work. I just said anything I could to make them stop. "Whoever told you I have some psychic abilities was wrong..."

Under the table, I tugged on the bottom of my dad's business jacket. I was scared.

"You'd be very useful," the bearded man said.

I saw the way they were looking at me, like I was a piece of meat. A valuable asset to their profits and gains. They were sick and twisted in the head. I was picking up on their thoughts. I could hear the voice seeping into my head: violent, disgusting things were being said about me. I was an object, I wasn't a human. I was entertainment. They could see the fear in my face now as I picked up on their thoughts.

"Come, Satomi," my father stood up angrily. He was leaving. I got up to follow him, thankful he had the courage to get up and leave.

"Thanks for the invite," I said quietly to Sakyo. I was just trying to be polite. But he didn't respond, he had this sly dirty smile on his face.

"Adrian, it was simply a joke," the bearded man lied, trying to sound nice.

My father grabbed my arm and held me closer as we exited the restaurant.

I was about to turn to look at them but my father snapped at me, "Don't turn back. I should have known he would do this."

"What is he doing?" I asked quietly as we walked to the elevator. I felt Hiei's presence unusually close to me.

"He's trying to have me take my share out of the Toguro Team," he said quietly.

As we closed in on the elevator, I noticed the large man I had seen at Tarukane's before. The same creep was holding onto him by the back. "He's using you to make me leave. I should have known he would do this."

"But why?" I asked, trying to get some information out of him.

But he ignored me. We stopped when we came up to the large man. He was in the way of the elevator. He didn't want us to leave...

"Satomi," my father turned to me and put his hand on my back. "Go up through the fire-way staircase to the lobby. I'll meet you up there."

"Are you going to be okay?" I gripped on to his jacket sleeve.

"Go."

I looked at the larger man and then around the small area for the door to the staircase. I was worried and didn't know what was going to happen so I hugged my father tightly and told him I loved him before I left. I walked across the small area towards the door to the staircase and looked up. It wasn't that far from the lobby. I went through my clutch and found the box cutter. I didn't like the feeling of being in the staircase alone, and as I started walking up the stairs I heard the door open and close... a presence came with it. It was Hiei.

"What are you doing watching over me?" I said frantically, looking down at him from the railing. "Go help my father!"

"He's fine," Hiei replied, looking up at me. I heard another door open, it was from the lobby. It was the large man. I started down the stairs to be next to Hiei. I made it to a landing but saw that the larger man was already behind me. Instinctively, I backed up to the wall, scared. I knew my pathetic box cutter wouldn't do anything, so I didn't bother with it. But he grabbed it from my hand and threw it behind him, cutting my hand in the process.

"You're his daughter," the larger man said.

I was too busy looking at his face and his sunglasses to realize Hiei was in front of me. I knew they wouldn't fight, but he was there anyways. He was setting the larger man's boundaries for me. He stepped closer to me and Hiei became defensive. "So I won't harm you. This is your warning: don't pry."

I was shaking, blood was dripping profusely onto the ground from my cut. I watched as the larger man walked away, towards the restaurant exit. I watched him leave and looked down at my bleeding hand. I was shaking again.

"My father..." I said shakily.

I was worried and scared, I could feel tears flowing into my eyes. I put my hand to my forehead, forgetting it was bleeding. I had accidentally gotten blood on my face. I removed my hand and closed my eyes, searching for my father. I saw him in the elevator with that... _thing _that would hang onto the larger man's back. It almost looked human standing next to my father.

"They're going upstairs," I said to Hiei.

I didn't think he cared, I was sort of just talking out loud. I went to pick up the box cutter and turned to run up the stairs again. But before I could step onto the stairs, I felt Hiei's arm wrap around my waist, and I was lifted off the ground. He was carrying me as he used his speed to climb through the stairway, hopping from the railings.

"Right here," I said as I saw a floor number sign pass.

He leapt onto the railing and set me down. I opened the door, leaving a bloody hand print on the door as I ran into the hallway. I was surprised I could run so fast in heels. As I ran towards the elevators, I focused on which one they were in. I made it to the elevators in time to press the right button. I could feel Hiei's presence close to me. I was so happy he was here, I wasn't even mad at him anymore. I waited for the light to show up on the arrow and the doors to open. My father looked a bit relieved to see me when the elevator doors fully opened, but then his expression turned nervous again. He remembered what was happening and he saw the blood on my face and my bloody hand.

"Come on, dad," I said, putting my bloody hand on the door way to stop the elevator from closing.

I wanted him to be with me, I didn't trust him leaving with them. I looked at the thing that had been holding onto the larger man's back, and he looked weird not being there and standing like a human on his own. I wondered if he'd tell the larger man I was here. I'm sure he would. I could only imagine what would happen if he told him...

"Satomi, I have business to take care of," he said quietly. "I will see you tomorrow."

I waited a bit, debating on whether or not I should go with him.

* * *

**A/N: **Eeep, I'm always up for some criticism. (I think it's funny how I never can spell that word on the first try. Anyways). I know this story is nowhere close to perfect, so if you have any pointers for me, don't be afraid to throw them my way.

I write by hobby, so I'm nowhere close to perfect.


	13. It Feels Good to Be Around You

I stood at the entrance of the elevator, my bloody hand plastered in the way of the door to keep the elevator open. I had instantly made my decision and began walking into the elevator, I was willing to be there for my father. If I was going to step up to help anyone, it would be him, but my father stepped up to me, gently pushing me out of the elevator by my stomach. I suddenly understood what was really happening... I realized I didn't know my father anymore.

He was a new person, even if he still cared for me, but in reality, if he really cared about me, I would be on the elevator right now riding up there with him. But I wouldn't be, he had pushed me off and back into the hallway, choosing to save himself with the club instead of releasing himself from their hold. He wasn't the same dad that tucked me in at night or let me sit on his lap while he watched TV. Whatever happened over the years changed him.

Whether he had changed for the better or worse was still unknown.

"Satomi, I'll see you tomorrow," his hand gently pushed me into the hallway. "I promise."

"Noon," My voice was quiet, as if the creature standing next to him, with that smug, ugly smile plastered on his face, was unable to hear my whispers. But I had an idea, a back up plan for my mission and a way to ensure his safety... But I still wanted him to promise me, because though I could possibly watch over him, it didn't mean I could protect him.

"Noon, you show up at my hotel room door."

"I promise," his voice mirrored mine, quiet, acknowledging my demand, and I backed away from him, heartbroken.

I felt horrible even though I had a back up plan in mind, and I backed away from the elevator to watch it close, seeing his grim expression as the elevators closed, shielding him. I pondered on my father and his new persona.

"You failed," The pain in the ass next to me was quick to put me down.

I turned to him, but he didn't say anything else as he looked at my melancholy expression, and I put my hands to my face to hide my upset emotions, and inhaled, trying to stop my eyes from watering. But I realized my hand was bleeding still and pulled it away from my face. I could feel the blood on my cheek and tried wiping it off, but it smudged, becoming worse. I pressed another elevator's button and waited for it to come.

"No," I finally acknowledged his rude comment. "I didn't fail."

I had a plan... hopefully. It would take some work since I had never done it before, but if what Koenma had said to me before was true... and if what happened at the dinner table wasn't a fluke, I could do this. The elevator sounded, and I held the elevator door open with my bloody hand so it wouldn't close. It stung like hell but I was too emotionally numb to care.

Emotionally numb. I hadn't felt like this in a long time...

"Are you coming?" I turned to face him, and he looked at me for a minute before walking into the elevator with me. I walked in after him and noticed how much taller I was than him while I was in heels. I wanted to laugh but I couldn't, devoid of any emotion, still in shock. What happened at the restaurant was sinking in now, the images had sunk in, engraving themselves in my head.

"How's the weather down there?" My voice stayed quiet, almost as if to regret the words as soon as they left.

He glared up at me, height was a sensitive subject I assumed, I swore I heard him growl in anger. I was even just an inch or so taller than him without heels anyways, but now, it was noticeable. A laugh caught in my throat, and instead of a light-hearted, dismissive giggle, tears fell down my cheeks instead. It wasn't his anger towards me that made me cry, though, and I watched as the tears fell to the granite floor on the elevator. I wasn't inhaling, or sobbing.

It was a silent crying, something that was new from bottling up my fear and anxiety from the dinner service. I often shut down, but crying was never something I could ever keep quiet. That dinner was traumatic in a way, being leered at by those older men, being a sexual, non-human object, useful only for pleasure and profit gains. Those thoughts, they were unsettling, disgusting, unacceptable. No emotions, no fear or anxiety, just empty; my body decided to release something to tell me _hey, you're still alive,_ but it didn't mean much because I couldn't feel a damn thing. I was still empty.

"You're an unstable woman."

"Yet you stick around..." I gently wiped underneath my eyes so I wouldn't smudge my make-up.

And quickly, I forced myself to stop crying and watched as the elevator came to our floor, waiting for the doors to open. I kept ahead of him as we walked down the hallway, making it to the room, but as I unlocked the door, I realized how much I didn't want to go inside, how much I didn't want to deal with any bombarding questions for anyone, least of all from Koenma.

"What happen-" Botan and Yukina gasped when they saw my bloody hand and face as I entered the room.

They both came up to me, crowding me to check if I was badly hurt, and I appreciated the concern but... not now...

I pushed my body past them, mumbling, "I'm fine, it's just my hand."

"Hiei, you were suppose to protect her!" Botan said.

"Hn," he replied as if that was a valid response, when it was really nothing but an exhale of air.

"He did," I defended the asshole as I went to an empty bed and sat down, setting the clutch down next to me.

"What happened?" Yusuke asked and I wondered if he was aware of Sakyo's ownership of the Toguro team, his interest peaking at his opponents team member.

I shook my head, "I couldn't get an answer, so I'm going to try something else..."

Koenma was in the room still, and I noticed he was holding his stomach, having reverted back to his child form. He probably ate all of the food on the cart my father sent earlier.

"Why?" he was referring to why I hadn't gotten an answer.

He sounded like he had just finished stuffing his face, tired, a bit breathless.

I ignored him and closed my eyes, zeroing in on my father's aura, finding he was talking to Sakyo. He was agreeing to take his share out from the Toguro Team, and I opened my eyes to look down at my hand, seeing it was still bleeding. I looked at the nightstand and conveniently found a box of tissues, putting some tissues over the wound, Botan came over to tend to my hand, and I assumed my back-up plan, leaving the healing to her. I closed my eyes again, quickly finding my father, and was able to hear their conversation more clearly.

"If you were this serious about me pulling out of the joint ownership, you should have told me," my father's voice was harsh, I'd only heard it once before when he was dealing with my brother. "Not bring my daughter into this."

I tried zeroing in on Sakyo's thoughts and memories. I was able to key in on lower class demons, and had listened to the men at dinner, so I knew I could read humans, but this time I wasn't physically present to read his thoughts, and I knew instantly at the attempt of prying, it was going to be a challenge. I was present with the demon in the arena and at dinner, it wasn't really the same this time. A small headache formed as my head began closing in on other people in the hotel and their conversations, their thoughts.

I tried refocusing on Sakyo and his thoughts and memories, but each time I tried prying, I was pushed away to someone else in the hotel. I opened my eyes and sighed, now presented with a raging headache. But I closed my eyes and tried focusing again, unsure if Sakyo was pushing me away, or if this was just new to me and I was having trouble mastering this.

"Your plans are useless to me," Sakyo replied. "Your son doesn't need to come back after my wish is followed through with."

My breathing became shallow, I was forgetting to breathe since all of my focus was on prying into his head, along with dealing with unnecessary voices from others around the hotel. I was picking up on others thoughts and memories, only increasing my headache, but I continued to zero in on Sakyo's, though it was proving difficult. It was overwhelming, but soon I was able to sift through it all.

I was able to pick up a voice that sounded like his, pieces of his thought track picked up, matching his conversation with my father, and I could see some images, some memories. But my head kept pushing me away to someone else's memories, they started to muddle together. I kept refocusing and pushed harder. My headache became sharper, the throbbing pulsating harder, each time I refocused and pushed.

"Satomi?" Keiko's voice broke through my concentration, pushing me off track.

I turned my head away from her, trying to keep my train of thought focused.

Two voices at once... one real, Keiko's, and one in my head, confusing, setting me back; I had to refocus.

My father was scared, concerned. I wasn't sure if he knew of Sakyo's plan, I had missed a portion of their conversation. He really wasn't made out for this club.

What the hell made him think he could be with these people? What was he doing...?

My father has either done a lot more than he's letting on, or he's just in way over his head.

My breathing deepened as I tried prying into Sakyo's head again, searching for memories. Other people's thoughts started pouring into my head once more, but I finally pushed through. Even though I succeeded, I was rewarded with a splitting headache all the while I read his thoughts. I grabbed my forehead with my uninjured hand and tried to massage my temple with my thumb as I began focusing on the images that were passing by. They were fuzzy at first but the images started flashing throughout my head clearly as I connected. They kept flashing by, at first I thought my head was toying with me, I forgot I was successful for a split second but soon remembered.

These were his thoughts... The images became more and more grim, flashing by faster. I realized this is how everyone thinks when they think of images. They're there for a split second, but disappear soon after. You only remember the images because of your brain's knowledge of the image, images don't usually linger in your head for long. I kept focusing and the head ache became so severe I couldn't take it anymore. Destruction, death, a...

I opened my eyes and moved my hand down to cover my face. I was in so much pain right now... the light in the room only made my headache worse. My breathing was heavy and fast. I kept my eyes squinted as I tried readjusting to the light. It only made my headache worse. I didn't realize how furiously I was shaking. I tried controlling myself and stopped quickly. I then realized that if I had just thought about doing this earlier I wouldn't have had to go to the dinner. Then again, I may not have been able to find the right time where he was thinking about his wish... I also probably wouldn't have found out I could literally pry into someone's head and dig for their memories.

I felt everyone's eyes on me. Botan had finished wiping the blood off my face. I grimly looked up to Koenma and shakily stood up when my headache started to die down. It was still raging though, and I noticed Botan had begun to finish the bandaging on my hand so I waited for her to finish before I walked outside. My headache was dying down now, but I still felt like someone had taken a bat and hit my temples repeatedly.

"Well?" Yusuke wondered what I had done, I didn't know if he'd been briefed about what I could do. "No dice?"

I ignored him until the headache was at a manageable level, and Botan had conviently finished my bandaging, so I turned to Koenma and gestured for him to follow me outside.

"Oi!" Yusuke said, grabbing my arm when I had walked past him. I looked up at him. For some reason, despite the raging headache I had just endured, I was still emotionally numb and didn't care about his aggressiveness, though his grip wasn't harsh or threatening. His loud voice just made my headache try to resurface, but I wasn't angry or upset. I was just in pain. "What's happening?"

I stayed silent and waited for Koenma to get up and walk past me towards the front door.

"Let go, please..." I said, using my free hand to rub my temple again. Yusuke sulked and let go, putting his hands in his pockets as I walked past him.

I followed Koenma into the hallway and shut the door as quietly as possible. Anything loud was going to keep the headache around. We went for a walk so they couldn't eavesdrop. I told him about Sakyo's plans and stopped walking, each step was just another pulse for my headache.

"If Yusuke's team doesn't win," My voice stayed quiet as I massaged my temple. "Then you need to find a team that will."

Koenma, beneath me, grumbled a bit, unnerved and grim. I don't think he was expecting Sakyo's plans to be that horrid.

"This is... going to be discrete," he said. "I'll try to find out of there's something I can do."

"Yeah..." I turned back to walk to the room so I could shower and go to bed.

I felt Koenma leaving the hallway. I was about to go back inside the room, but... I couldn't bring myself to go in there. I didn't want to be around anyone. My headache, all of the horrible things I've witnessed tonight... I wanted to be alone. I put my back against the wall and sat down on the ground. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I lay my head on my knees as I wrap my arms around my legs. I was emotionally drained. I was so... done. I couldn't even cry, I couldn't even have an episode. I was empty, drained.

The only thing I really felt right now was the headache, and that didn't spark any emotions. Being in this place was not mentally healthy for me. I looked down at my shoes and the pedicure I gave myself. Sighing, I put my head back onto my knees and stayed there for about an hour. I tried searching for my dad despite my headache. I was surprised to find that doing this simple task actually was helping a bit. Maybe it was the lack of stress in this task, or maybe it was just because I was watching over my dad, making sure nobody hurt him. That was reassuring to me, knowing he was okay.

But then I remembered what happened at the elevator. And I was so tempted to seep into his head, read his thoughts. Because how could he try to save himself with this Club? Why did being there matter so much? I was willing to bet taking his share out of the team didn't throw him out of the Club. I was wondering if he had participated in the things they did. My father... if he had done something wrong, he should tell me. I would want him to tell me instead of me having to find out myself. Being around people like that, being around people who he knows wanted to use me... he owed it to me to tell me what's happening with him, what he did, and if he participated in those actions. I sighed, my headache subsided and it was just a minor annoyance now.

I continued to watch my father. He had gotten to his room safely. He was going to be fine if he just pulled out of this club, got away from those people...right? I found myself still caring about him when I probably shouldn't. I stopped focusing on him and let my mind rest.

I could hear the voices from the room.

"What's wrong with her?" Yusuke asked. "She's been... less emotional since I've met her. I mean, I'm glad she's not crying all the time but-"

"She hasn't seen her father in years," Shuichi replied. "I'm sure being around him and the Black Black Club has already taken a toll on her."

"It's the Black Black Club," Hiei chimed in. I was surprised he said anything at all, opening his rude little mouth.

I leaned my head closer to the door to hear what they were saying. But they stopped talking. I rested my head against the wall and sighed. Shuichi knew me well enough to know how I was feeling. We've known each other for a long time.

* * *

I remembered how he used to not like me, even a year after Shiori had agreed to babysitting, when I had turned seven.

I had heard Shiori talking to my father, she had noticed I was acting different and weird, my schizophrenia had started kicking in. I always had little bits of symptoms when I was growing up, but now they were coming at me full throttle. Before, it was just an urge to do something, now it was voices.

"She sometimes stares off into space and looks around the room and at corners... like she's looking at someone," Shiori had been at the front door talking to Daddy while I had been in the hallway, hiding behind the corner. "Sometimes she talks when she's alone, like she's having a conversation with someone, and she'll hit herself when she thinks nobody's around."

Daddy looked grave, worried, and Shiori continued, "I'm worried for her, she's been acting strange."

Daddy thanked her for informing him, and that he would set up an appointment with the doctor to have me checked out when he returned. He already had a feeling about what was wrong. He had dropped me off for the weekend while he went on a business trip. My mother was a nurse and worked thirteen to eighteen hour shifts for days at a time, so it was pointless to leave me at home when my mother came back from work, where she would merely sleep. I had went into the living room and found Shuichi.

"Shiori said we're going to the park today," I had said quietly, remembering what she had said before talking to my dad.

"Okay," he had replied.

He had been sitting on the couch, watching the news channel. He didn't want me to be around him so I left the room to go in his backyard, talking to the voices.

And the Monday after that, I had been expelled from my school.

Daddy and mother were unable to pick me up, and Shiori had to since she was listed as the emergency contact, and though she had been scared to take me to her home after being informed of what I'd done, she did anyways. She had cleaned me up from the minor blood and cuts, and tended to my bruises.

Shuichi had come home and was in the hallway when Shiori was talking to me.

"Satomi," she had said quietly, she was nervous and scared now, remembering how I've been acting. "Why did you hurt that boy?"

"He said things about my brother," I had replied. "And he made fun of him."

"What did he say?"

"He said he was gay... I didn't know what that meant until he told me that meant Satoshi liked boys. He said to me 'my brother knows your brother's gay!' And it didn't bother me until he started making fun of him. He was saying mean things..."

"Satomi, you don't hit someone when you're mad at them."

"I asked him to stop but he kept going and saying mean things."

"Satomi..."

"So I hit him. Because he kept being mean and saying mean things about my brother. And he hit back. So I kept hitting him."

"Satomi, violence doesn't solve anything."

"It does... I kept hitting him and it made him stop saying mean things about my brother."

At the time, I didn't understand that I had knocked the boy unconscious and that was the only reason he stopped fighting, I had thought he was bundled up crying on the floor. But now that I remember that fight, he wasn't moving. She had sighed and finished putting bandaids on me and went to call my father. Shuichi was still in the hallway and had come up to the bathroom door. I had been sitting on the toilet seat. He stared at me for a while and then asked if I was okay.

"I'm fine..." I had said sadly. I was still upset about them making fun of my brother. If he was gay, it didn't matter. If he wasn't, it didn't matter. It didn't matter. I just didn't like them making fun of him, because that was my brother and my brother meant the world to me. He meant the world to me like my mother and father did, but a bit more because... he was my brother.

From then on, I noticed Shuichi started to be nicer to me, talking to me more often, opening up to me.

* * *

I heard the front door to the room open next to me, Yukina's aura became present, and I turned to her, watching her walk out of the room. She was surprised to see me sitting down near the door.

"Oh, you're right here," she said relieved. I stood up, moving my arm up to the wall to help myself up, signaling my shoulder to crack, sending a seductive tingle down my shoulder blade.

"I don't think this healed right," I mumbled as I stood up, looking at my shoulder. I wasn't in pain though, so it didn't matter much to me. "Can you ask one of the guys to open their room? I don't want to be where everyone is right now."

She looked at me, worried, and I rarely saw her look at me without worry plastered on her face. She went in and asked, and Yusuke came out with the room key.

"So what's Sakyo's plan?" he asked as he opened the door.

"Koenma asked me to keep it a secret," I replied honestly. Remembering the images caused a sharp pain in my head. I winced as I mumbled, "If you must know, ask him..."

He looked at me as he stood in front of the open door. He sighed and began to walk back into the girls room, his hands behind his head with his elbows in the air, "Fine, fine."

I went inside the boy's room and found a bed to lay down on. I took off the high heels and just... lay there, waiting for the headache to subdue again. But it was hard because I kept remembering the images Butajiri had thought about, the things they said about me in their heads... Sakyo's plan to open a portal between the human and the demon world large enough to let the strongest demons through to wreak havoc...

I sighed and took off the headband, placing it on the night stand next to me. Taking off the headband actually helped some, I felt like there wasn't much constriction on my head anymore. My head felt lighter and the headache started to subdue again, and when the headache disappeared I began feeling heavy, empty. I wasn't cut out for this stuff, and I realized that, as if I hadn't already known, and I lay down on the bed to stare out of the window.

I wanted nothing more than to sleep, but the desire to go home was struggling for a tie. I wanted to go back in time and deny Botan's request for me to work, and I began debating if all of this was worth my sanity, if I would have just been better off how I was before: a mess.

At least before, I didn't know all of the horrible things in the world.

In all of the worlds...

Ignorance really was bliss. I lay in the bed for hours, unable to sleep. Eventually, I thought about my dad and what he was doing here, because honestly, did he really think he could live like them? Be like them? If he really cared about me, then he couldn't be with them, they had no emotions or feelings, you couldn't have a conscious doing what they did, thinking what they think.

But my dad had a conscious, or he wouldn't have made me leave the dinner...right?

Why was he there? Did he do similar things they did? Or was he just way in over his head with them?

And with each thought, I became more and more empty, drained.

Soon, later in the night, Kuwabara came in, noticing me on one of the beds, but he said nothing since my back was turned to him, he probably thought I was asleep. He crawled into his bed and fell fast asleep, snoring, which only prompted an empty giggle, because his snores were simply atrocious. And feeling relieved that I could find something amusing, and was quickly reminded of why I was empty in the first place, emptiness swept over me once more. But honestly, I preferred this to the headache. I felt heavy and sluggish and empty. Feeling nothing was better than feeling pain, than feeling the splitting headache from earlier.

Soon, after pushing myself for about fifteen minutes to get up, I opened the window to get some fresh air and could hear people in the next room talking, and I slowly walked back to the bed and sat down again.

"I'm really not cut out for this," I said quietly as I felt Hiei moving into the room from the window sill. "I don't want to be here..."

"I could have told you that months ago," his voice was snide and rude.

I looked over to him, not even close to being upset at his rude remark, I was still numb over the thoughts I had read tonight, the things I had seen. The headache I had earlier was just from me pushing myself mentally, this empty feeling was from the aftermath of everything I saw and picked up on. It was silent in the room except for Kuwbara's snoring.

"I'm glad you were there, though," I sighed quietly. Even if I couldn't feel anything now, I remembered being at the dinner service. Him being there was comforting, even if I was angry at him. "It was a bit comforting, you know? Especially when I was picking up their thoughts... I didn't feel as trapped."

He ignored me, his back was turned to me. He was staring out the window.

"Even though you're an asshole, it's nice having you around."

"Quit talking, woman," he snapped at me.

I mocked him, "_Quit talking, woman. _Do you hear yourself?" I mocked him again, trying to emulate his tone. It wasn't done well because of how dull I sounded, "Don't ever show me kindness, woman. It might fucking kill me."

Actually, I personally thought I sounded quite like him.

But my thought was quit quickly when I'd found a sword to my neck, only an inch away.

"Mock me again," he dared me, his voice low and quiet. "One more word out of those putrid little lips..."

And for some reason, I pressed my neck against the sword, ready to draw blood. I looked up at him, only being able to see his silhouette from the moonlight, I could see his red iris's faintly.

"Go on," I whispered, trying to press down harder on the edge of the sword. "I dare you."

I was numb right now, I didn't care, I didn't care about anything.

Part of me was hoping he'd cut my head clean off. But every time I inched closer to the blade, he inched it away.

"See?" Kuwabara's snores were louder than my voice, and I moved my neck away from the sword, pushing the blade away with my hand. Slowly, I lay down on the bed and turned away from him. "You're not as tough as you make yourself out to be."

I felt a surge of his aura, he was probably angry at what I said, but I couldn't convince myself to turn around because I didn't care enough. He left soon after I turned over.

I couldn't sleep, but pretended to be knocked out as Yusuke came in the room to sleep. Shuichi was probably staying in the girl's room so he didn't have to move and could heal faster. I wanted to go talk to him, because he knew what was going on with me right now. I knew what was going on with me. Those images, those men... it was so depressing. But I stayed put and didn't move because Shuichi needed his rest. He didn't need my problems when he had to be ready by tomorrow to fight. I lay in bed for the rest of the night until dawn rose.


	14. Putting the Dog to Sleep

I remember the last time I felt like this, and it was after Satoshi's funeral. I had a mental breakdown after about a month and was sent to the ER. I wondered if this would be a repeat. It was bright in the room now, light was seeping in through the windows, but everyone was still asleep. I hadn't slept all night. I got up and left the boy's room so I could go shower in the girl's room. I grabbed my pajama's from my duffle bag and hopped right in the shower. It took a while because there was so much hair product in my hair that I had to scrub extra hard to get it all out. I spent about an hour in the shower and hopped out. I put on a Harvard Medical School shirt and some pajama shorts and put my towel on my head. I didn't care to dry my hair.

Shizuru was up and was leaving the room to go smoke. We walked past each other and she put her hand on my shoulder, patting me as she walked by. I didn't think much of it as I walked to the beds. Botan, Keiko, and Yukina were still asleep. Shuichi was up and sitting on the bed, but I didn't feel like talking to him. But because of instinct, I lay down on the bed he was in, next to him. He moved over to give me some space as I plopped down on the bed on my stomach, bouncing a bit on the impact. I didn't want to talk, really, I just wanted to be near him.

"Satomi, how are you feeling?" He asked me, but he knew the answer. He gently put his hand on my back. He wanted to help me. It made me curious, though, why he was nice to me. I remembered when he first really talked to me in the bathroom when I was seven. "Have you been taking your medication?"

I shook my head, no. I hadn't even brought it with me. I wanted to prove I could go without it. And I could, but the pills did help with this stuff... Still, I didn't want to take it.

"You used to not like me," I said quietly after a minute. I didn't mean for it to come out rude or to make him feel bad about anything, but I remembered that. He looked at me curiously. I was just curious, wondering. "What made you want to be my friend that day I got expelled?"

He could hear my lifeless tone. I had no emotion when I talked, I was like a robot.

"I used to not like my mother," he admitted. "I wasn't particularly fond of humans. It was nothing personal. I felt trapped in this body and I wanted to leave as soon as I had regained my strength but..."

I looked at him, waiting for him to explain where he was going with this.

"One day, a while before your family moved in next door, my mother saved me. She had pushed me out of the way from a fallen jar, saving me. She was hurt badly, bleeding profusely from the broken glass. Yet all she could do was ask me if I was alright. I didn't understand how someone could care about another person that much. I grew a love for her, she really began to feel like a mother to me. Then, you came home that day from school. And I heard what you said to my mother."

He paused to think about what I had said back in the bathroom that afternoon so many years ago, what it was that really had captured his interest.

"You just kept saying how he was saying rude things about your brother, and he wouldn't stop. So you hit him until he hit back. But you didn't stop even when he hurt you. You didn't stop fighting for your brother, Satomi. Even though it was a child's fight, you were still risking yourself for someone else. And, like my mother's actions, it intrigued me."

I looked down at the sheets, normally I would be very happy, yet modest about the situation. But I still felt wrong and emotionless.

"Now, tell me what's wrong."

I looked up at him again.

"Those old men," I said. "That club. My dad."

"What happened last night, Satomi?"

I shook my head, I didn't want to think about it. He knew something was definitely wrong now, I always told him how I was feeling and why I was down. Even with Satoshi's death, I would open up to him. But right now, I had neither the energy nor the will.

"Satomi, you know I'm willing to help you," He said.

"I know..." I wanted to tell him but I didn't want to think about it. I didn't like remembering any of it.

He sighed, and I knew he thought this would be a repeat of Satoshi's death.

"Ask Hiei," was all I could muster. Hiei was around and poking through my head when I was at the dinner. I was sure he could tell Shuichi what happened.

"I had asked him."

"And?"

"He seemed too disgusted to speak about it," he replied.

"Before or after he came out of the other room last night?"

He thought about it for a minute. "After."

"Probably just sulking."

He looked at me curiously but didn't ask anything else as Botan woke up. I rolled over and closed my eyes, maybe I could sleep now. And I could, I fell asleep quickly due to my body and head just giving up. I was too tired to think about the Club and my father, I just fell asleep. But even in sleep, I couldn't escape the thoughts. I drifted in and out of sleep over a few hours, opening my eyes occasionally because I'd have nightmares of the Black Black Club.

_Satomi._

_Your father's here._

_He's looking for you._

I opened my eyes and looked up to see Keiko standing over me. I looked over to the clock and it was exactly noon. Grudgingly, I sat up on the bed. Botan, Yukina, and Shizuru were in the room, but the girls were leaving somewhere. At first I thought the match was today, but I realized that wasn't until tomorrow when my head cleared from my sleep-haze. They left the room and I watched as my father walked in. He stood awkwardly away from the bed that I stood in front of. He noticed Shuichi and greeted him.

"It's been a while, Shuichi," my father said with a small smile. They hadn't seen each other since we were at the airport when my father and mother were leaving to America.

Shuichi smiled politely and replied, "It has, Adrian."

My father raised his eyebrows and his jaw dropped slightly, Shuichi never referred to my father as Adrian before. At least, he never referred to him as Adrian to his face.

"As promised," my father shook his head and turned to me with a smile. "I've arrived at noon, to show you I'm alive."

"Why are you in that club?" I asked, ignoring his statement. It's been on my mind all night and I couldn't think of anything else. I didn't know whether or not I could trust him anymore. The dinner, the elevator... the club itself. "They're horrible people."

"Satomi-"

"Dad, do you have any idea how they view people, how they view me?" My voice was coarse and rough, it took effort to choke out words.

He looked to the ground, either he knew and didn't want to accept it, or he knew and was ashamed of it because he participated in their actions.

"Are you just as bad as them?" I asked as he looked over to me with saddened eyes. "Or are you just in over your head with this little club?"

He was silent as I walked past him, opening the front door. I was letting him know it was time for him to leave. I could have just read his mind, pried into his thoughts. But that was my father, and if it was the worst, I would want him to tell me. I wouldn't want to find out on my own, I would want him to tell me himself. If he had the audacity to follow suit with the Black Black Club, he could tell me himself...

"You can let me know who you are when you're ready..."

He walked over to me and put his hand on my lower back, and then walked out the door. I looked up at him, and he seemed so sad when he looked into my eyes. "Love you, daddy," I mumbled honestly. I may not know him anymore, I may not trust him. But he was my dad, and I still loved him.

He adjusted his tie and began to walk away. "I love you too, sweetheart," he said quietly as he left.

I closed the door and rested my head on the door. I just kept thinking about what I did, how I pushed my father away like he did me last night. I didn't know if what I did was right or wrong, but I felt horrible about it either way. I had to show him how I felt about the club and their actions, their thoughts. To me, the strongest way to convey that to him was through pushing him away. But that was my dad...

I don't know how long I stood there with my forehead resting on the door, but it was long enough for Shuichi to stand up and walk over to me. He put his hands on my shoulders and guided me back to the bed I was previously lying on. He kept saying things to me, but they were going in one ear and out the other. All I could think about was what would happen to my dad now. Would he stay with them? Would he leave them? Would Sakyo kill him? Sakyo took me as the cold blooded killer type.

Mindlessly, I sat down on the bed and Shiuchi gently pressed for me to lay down. There were no voices or auras. I was completely numb, in almost every sense possible. Eventually, all my thoughts disappeared and my everything was quiet in my head. I lay down long enough to lose track of time, the day became brighter, and then the sky had a hint of orange in it. Shuichi was redoing my bandages, cleaning the cut on my hand, when Kuwabara walked in the room. He probably greeted me but I didn't hear anything. Eventually, I heard people talking, but it all sounded so far away. I tried focusing on the voices because they weren't in my head. I tried focusing and was able to hear the boy's talk.

"I'm worried about her," Shuichi said after he had finished my bandaging. "Something must have happened last night, because she has completely shut down."

"What's wrong with her?" Kuwabara looked over to me from where he was standing.

"I'm not exactly sure," Shuichi replied. "She hasn't moved in hours."

"Did Hiei say anything?" Kuwabara asked. "Because she didn't start acting like that until she told Koenma Sakyo's plan."

"Satomi sometimes bottles up her feelings," Shuichi explained as he turned to look at me. "I'm positive something happened at that dinner reservation."

I just wanted them to stop talking about it and bringing it up, because I would keep having flashbacks. I wasn't meant for this stuff...

"They're disgusting pigs," I said quietly. The boys looked over to me, Shuichi was a bit surprised I piped up after all these hours. "Someone should kill them."

Shuichi was surprised, because I had never said anything like that before. I closed my eyes and ignored them, trying to fall asleep again.

* * *

I didn't fall asleep, but I sort of felt like I did. I felt a bit better when night had fallen. I was feeling a bit better, less zombie-like. I still felt empty, but I had the energy to move around now. I got up and put on my moccasins, but didn't change out of my pajamas. I was going for a walk. Just a walk, to think about things. I went to the table and picked up a little plastic cup and filled it with ice from the little bucket that was on the table. I liked chewing ice...

"Satomi," Shuichi wanted me to stay put. He didn't want me alone right now. He still remembers the last time I was like this.

"I'm fine," I mumbled as I opened the door and left. I didn't put on any make up or brush my hair, so I looked like I had rolled out of bed... which I did. The rich people noticed me, they were talking about me again. But I didn't care. I walked out of the lobby and stood in front of the entrance. The air was nice, but it was chilly. I walked over to one of the pillars, the pillar where I read the poem to Hiei, and sat down. I put the cup full of ice up to my face as if I was trying to drink from it, but instead let a chunk of ice fall inside my mouth. I chewed on the ice as I looked around. It felt nice to be outside. I began to feel emotions again because I felt unusually relieved being outside. I looked around at the nature in the moonlight. It was beautiful, everything felt eerie and calming.

I turned to the other pillar when I felt Hiei's presence. He was standing where he was when I was reading the poem.

"How annoying could you get?" He asked.

"I'm not even trying right now," I said quietly, and then purposely chewed the ice louder. "Done sulking?"

"I should ask you that," he scoffed.

I turned back to the nature and ignored him. He wasn't done sulking.

"Sakyo's probably going to kill them," I said after a few minutes of chewing. "He'll tell them his plan and then have them killed."

"You picked that up from Sakyo?" Hiei asked.

I shook my head. I just knew. I wondered if my father knew he would be killed with the rest of the club... If he didn't get out of there, he would die. I knew my father would die. I wondered if he knew he would die. I wondered if he was okay with that. I'm surprised Sakyo didn't tell my father his plan. I mean, that was a joint ownership. I guess when it came to deciding who to have a joint ownership with, it didn't matter what the other person wanted. But to Sakyo, it suddenly mattered.

"You know what I picked up," I mumbled, looking up at him. "You were prying all night long."

He stayed silent.

"Did what they thought about bother you?" I asked, genuinely curious. I wondered what he thought about the Black Black Club, other than what I already knew. "I mean, not about me but..."

"I don't care about you."

I snorted a sarcastic laugh, "Okay."

He raised an indigenous eyebrow as if he didn't know what I laughed at.

"If you didn't care about me to some degree, you'd be elsewhere right now," I explained.

"Stupid woman," He said as he looked away. "I stay around you because your thoughts are amusing."

"Oh, and what do I think about that amuses you so much?" I realized lately he had gone from calling me Yue to Woman. I didn't like that much, it felt like he was distancing himself from me. I felt close to him, even if he didn't feel close to me. It hurts when someone you consider close distances themselves from you. "And stop calling me Woman, I'm fifteen. I'm not a woman just yet."

"Then what do you want to be called?" He asked, ignoring my first question.

"My name."

"Satomi?" He looked at me curiously. I liked the way he said my name, I could feel a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips. It didn't sound much different than the way Shuichi said it, but... it was nicer, in a way. I really liked him saying my name.

I remembered when my family went to the beach when I was five, we stayed the night at a hotel and at the crack of dawn, Satoshi woke me up. He said to me "C'mon, Satomi, let's go to the beach!" And I went with him while my mother and father were asleep. The beach was empty and the air was cool. The clouds were sparse and the sky was a light pink and orange. I watched as the tide repeatedly kissed the shore, the wet sand perfect and smooth, untouched. I remember stepping in the wet sand, feeling the tide return and envelope my feet.

And it was strange, I admit that. It was _really so strange_ that I was having trouble even admitting it myself, but that's how I felt when he said my name. That's exactly what I remembered when he said my name; it was the first thing to come to mind, for some reason.

"Yeah..." I smiled.

"Stupid woman," he shook his head as he left. I watched him leave back into the hotel and I put the cup up to my mouth again. I wasn't insulted by his words for some reason. Actually, I didn't care much at all. I thought about how he said my name, and I thought about how much I liked him saying my name. I chewed some more ice as the night passed by.

I thought about being at the beach that day so many years ago. I remember that day at the beach. Satoshi had pushed me into the sand when the tide had retreated. I completely missed the water and landed face first into the wet sand. My face had been covered with wet sand and it kept getting into my eyes. I had begun to cry loudly. It was that little sister cry, the kind of cry where your little sister wouldn't stop crying until they got you in trouble. They wouldn't stop crying even when they were okay and over being hurt or sad, they just wanted to get you in trouble. And that's exactly what I had done. My parents had woken up a while ago and found we were missing, so when they found us on the beach they were both angry. And since I was the one crying, Satoshi got a harsher punishment.

"You're grounded when we get back, son," my father had chided as he picked me up, and I immediately stopped crying. Satoshi had glared over to me and I sniffled and laughed. It was all done in playfulness, but Satoshi was still sulking. He had gotten me in trouble for things before, and I was only five. We were siblings, that was what siblings did to each other. I just remember I had thought that he shouldn't have pushed me into the sand if he didn't want to get in trouble.

Throughout the night, feelings of emptiness would pass by, and then I'd suddenly be relieved and calm, and then I'd be happy, and then I'd return to feeling empty again. My emotions bounced back and forth all night until I decided to go to bed.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up and remembered it was the day of their match. I didn't want to get dressed, since I found it was pointless. I wasn't in the mood to go at all, but I knew I should go to support the boys and Shuichi. I put on some jeans and a bra under my Harvard shirt, and went to brush my teeth.

"Satomi," Keiko looked to me curiously as I stepped out of the room, ready to leave with them. "You're not getting dressed?"

"Something's definitely wrong if she's not doing her hair and make up," Botan whispered to Yukina who nodded in agreement.

Yukina took my hand and said we'd catch up with them later. She pulled me back into the room and went to find a kimono for me.

"You're shorter than me, Yukina," I said lifelessly. I didn't want to do anything and being in the room only reinforced my desire to crawl back into bed.

"Only a bit," she said, but then realized I was right. So she went through Botan's clothes and pulled out Botan's spare pink kimono. Botan was a bit taller than me, but my fashion instincts kicked in, despite my lack of interest in everything, and I instinctively thought about wearing it with my braided straw wedges. "I don't think she'd mind," Yukina said with a smile.

"Yukina, it's fine, I'm fine. Can we go?" I said, exasperated.

"Please match with me! I feel so lonely being the only one in a kimono," She had such an adorable smile on her face, I couldn't say no. She helped me change into it, and I brushed my hair afterwards. I let Yukina get carried away. My hair was wavy and long enough, so Yukina decided to put my hair up into a geisha bun, an ofuku. It didn't look exactly how it should have because my hair wasn't the right length and we didn't have the right hair tools, but it looked nice. She found the hair spray in my duffle bag and tried using it. She accidentally sprayed herself in the face and coughed. I laughed a bit and she laughed with me, blushing at her embarrassment. She pulled my fringe back and blended it into the rest of my hair and used the hair spray to keep it in place. She even redid the bandaging on my hand.

I didn't have sandles like hers, and Botan's feet weren't the same size as me, so I got the braided straw wedges in my duffle bag.

"You really carry so much in there..." Yukina said as she looked into the duffle bag.

"I like clothes and shoes and stuff..." I said quietly. I looked to the clock to see the time. I was sure we missed the first match already.

She got my eyeliner and mascara and did it for me. She did it just fine, and I was surprised because she didn't wear make-up. Then again, my eye make-up wasn't hard to do. I looked in the mirror when she was finished. I looked nice, I guess. My mother would love to see me in this. I took after my father in taste and culture. I loved America and the music and the clothes and styles. My mother wasn't able to get me into a kimono unless it was for a summer festival. I was a daddy's girl, and I hoped I still was... I wanted to be a daddy's girl still. Yukina clapped excitedly as she stood in the mirror next to me. She was so happy to be wearing a kimono with me.

"Can we go now?" I looked down to her and we started off to the dome. I was focusing on Yusuke's aura, and I found him across the island. I was concerned for a bit and focused on Shuichi's aura. I made a turn in the forest and started walking to it. We continued to walk through the woods and she stopped at a bush and bent down.

"What's wrong?" I stopped walking and turned to her. She stood up with her hands behind her back and a small smile.

"Bend down!" She smiled and I saw her holding a dendrobium orchid by the stem in her hand. It was pink and small. I knew flowers because of Shuichi, he was knowledgeable with plants. I lowered my head and she placed it inside the wedge of the bun and the rest of my hair. She was finding ornaments to put in my hair to resemble a true ofuku. We continued walking.

"Satomi, you're so pretty," she said out of nowhere while we were walking. I looked down at her curiously. I didn't know what to say, and by the time I thought to say thank you she was looking at the different dome that we had come up to. It was a bit late to thank her. We walked past the demons waiting in line outside the dome and past the entrance. No officials said anything to us so I didn't care much about the demons complaining about us getting in. We parted ways while inside the dome and I told her I'd be going to the grass area with the boys.

I felt weird walking alone out to the grass, and even weirder as I walked up to Shuichi. I guess his wounds were healed because he looked just fine. I started to hear voices again from my head, and it was hard to push them away. I could do that with outside voices, but not my own. But they weren't unbearable. I tried to ignore them while I walked towards the boys. I saw Hiei up on the arena.

"What's with the outfit?" Kuwabara asked as he turned to me.

"Yukina wanted me to match with her today," I said quietly. He swooned a bit at the mention of Yukina's name. I wondered if he knew Hiei was her brother. I figured he didn't and wondered how that would go when he found out.

"Satomi," Shuichi smiled to me, and then his face became curious as he looked over to me and my outfit.

"Yukina," Was all I said. He figured this was Yukina's attempt to make me feel better and nodded.

He noticed the flower in my hair and chuckled as he mentioned it, "A dendrobium orchid."

"Yukina picked it out."

"A belle," he explained to me the common connotation of the flower. "It suits you well, Mi."

He hadn't used my nickname in a long time and it made me feel a bit better.

I stood next to Shuichi; Kuwabara was on the other side of him. I looked over to the opposing team and saw someone familiar. The boy with the blue hair and pink eyes from the elevator. I looked around the arena for Yukina and found her sitting safely, yet alone. I guess Botan, Keiko, and Shizuru were having trouble getting here? Yusuke and the Masked Fighter weren't here, either.

I sighed and looked over to the arena. I wondered how this match would go. The new judge, a fish-type demon named Juri, was announcing that Hiei would fight another match. I was a bit worried, I hadn't seen him fight before. And I didn't want him to have the injuries Shuichi had from his last fight. But he seemed fine for this being his second consecutive match. Maybe I had nothing to worry about.

I felt a hand on my back and realized it was Shuichi.

"You didn't see the other matches," he said. "Are you confident you can handle seeing the violence?"

I looked from Shuichi over to Hiei and his fight, and then back again to Shuichi, "I think so... I hope so, Shuichi."

He looked at me a bit curiously, and then I realized I hadn't addressed him as Shuichi to his face in a long time. I had been calling him Shuichi even after he told me he was really Yoko Kurama. I had disrespected him, and I felt horrible for it. It was strange, though, because I was unsure of who he really was, Yoko or Shuichi. But I realized it didn't matter much about who he really was, because whoever he was respected me, he was my friend.

As my gaze drifted towards the other side of the arena, I noticed the pink eyed boys gaze hadn't left me.

With his gaze and my slip up, my anxiety continued to rise.


	15. Starring Role

We stood in silence throughout the match, and I continued to feel horrible as I tried ignoring the stare from the pink eyed boy. Shuichi had told me he was Yoko Kurama, I knew that's who he was. But for some reason I had trouble addressing him as Kurama or Yoko. It's just... for fifteen years I called him Shuichi, he was Shuichi to me...

Shuichi was his human alias.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, watching Hiei move around the arena.

"It's fine, Mi," The nickname was meant for comfort and reassurance, as always.

_He hates you now._

_You fucked up, dumb bitch._

I stopped listening to the voices and focused on the match, but I could still hear them in the back of my head as I tried my hardest to pay attention to Hiei. I watched as his opponent squeezed a small ball he picked up from his belt, emitting a purple smoke. The situation became even stranger as he inhaled the fumes. I watched as he turned into... an ape, or a werewolf...

He was hairy, and I was confused.

I tugged on Shuichi's sleeve, wanting an explanation.

"He seems to be able to memorize attacks," Shuichi answered.

That didn't make much sense so I turned back to the battle, watching Hiei continue trying to attack his opponent, but to no avail. His opponent continued to remain unharmed, regardless of how many new attacks he would try. My eyes stayed on Hiei as he moved around the arena, and something was noticeable on his forehead. He wasn't wearing his cloth anymore, but there was something else... Something I'd never seen before.

What seemed to be a third eye in the center of his forehead.

The... Jagan eye? That was the eye the men were talking about at dinner.

Hiei's attacks did nothing, and the opponent squeezed another ball and inhaled the smoke. He morphed once more, this time into a... bird man. Feathers all over his body, what seemed to be scales as well. I was beginning to lose it here, things were getting a tad bit too strange.

Hiei tried attacking him with his sword, the sword that was placed against my neck the previous night. And as it connected with the scales, the sword shattered, prompting my worrying to grow as the fight continued.

Again, the opponent squished another ball and inhaled the smoke. He turned into... I couldn't even place it, the image was so hideous. It was as if a dog mated with an ape and left its offspring to fend for itself in the wilderness. Yet still, Hiei's attacks were useless, he was the prey in this battle.

Avoiding his opponent, he stepped backwards and knocked over the hilt of his broken sword.

"Why the hell not," I heard him sigh as he kicked the hilt up and caught it. "I actually find this type of attack tasteless and barbaric, but it will have to do."

"A move that's too barbaric for Hiei?" Kuwabara became surprised, comically curious. "I wonder what it is."

I had never really seen Hiei fight before, so I didn't know what to expect. His opponent leapt towards him, closing in, sinking his teeth into Hiei's shoulder. My hands flew up over my mouth, I stopped breathing. The blood's flow was continuous, everywhere... blood... everywhere... I was pushed into shock. The image didn't seem to disappear, the image of Hiei's death had ingrained in my eyes, a never-ending loop.

_Satomi._

_Satomi._

_Satomi._

_SATOMI._

I snapped out of it. My vision refocused, the image disappeared, and Kuwabara was in my face, shaking me by my shoulders. I looked behind Kuwabara and noticed the arena was empty. I remembered what had happened to Hiei and slowly moved my hands away from my mouth.

"Hiei?" My voice was quiet, hoarse as I choked out the words.

"You think that freak could take me out?" I heard Hiei's slightly condescending voice, he was next to me. I looked over to him and felt relief flush throughout my body. He was okay. I rested my hands on my chest, feeling less tense, lighter. "You should know better than that, Satomi."

"Hey, wait a minute," Kuwabara thought as he let go of my shoulders. "You created that flame from the hilt of your sword... you're saying my spirit sword is tasteless!"

"Hn, took you long enough to figure that out," Hiei replied.

They began to banter and I looked over to Shuichi to ask what they were talking about, but he was already up on the arena.

Shuichi... I had to start remembering to call him Kurama. It was only respectful... decency. Hiei addressing me by my first name after I had requested him to was him showing me respect. The simplest way to respect someone was to call them what they wanted to be called, even if it's not the name you were told or a name you liked or whatever. It was just decency. It was respect. I could at least do the same for Shu... _Kurama_. It was hard though, because that's how I grew up knowing him. But it mattered in the end, so I had to respect that.

"Kurama!" I called to him, cupping my hands over my mouth. He turned around, a bit confused. I felt the name was strange coming out of my mouth, but I'd get used to it.

"Good luck," I smiled.

That was my best friend going in to fight, the least I could do was wish him luck in a respectful manner. He gave me a small smile, a smile I'd seen plenty times before, as he turned back to face his opponent.

I took off my wedges one at a time since they were pinching my feet, and set them down next to me as I watched the fight begin. Kurama used a whip adorned with thorns and began swinging it over his head in the motion of a fan. I hadn't actually watched him fight before. I hadn't watched any of them fight before. Juri announced the beginning of the fight.

"Will he be fine?" I asked Hiei, watching the fight.

I assumed he would be. Kurama had survived the last fight. And though I didn't see the fight, he looked beat up pretty bad when I saw him in the hotel room. I was sure he could handle this fight.

"Of course," Hiei replied casually. His casual reply made me wonder how close he was to Kurama. I looked at Hiei's shoulder, where he was bitten. It was bleeding but he didn't even seem to care, or even notice that he was hurt.

"When we get back to the hotel, do you want me to clean that for you?" I offered, looking at his shoulder.

"I don't care."

I learned that an _I don't care _from Hiei often meant _yes._

I turned back to watch Kurama fight, and was astounded at his capabilities. I wasn't surprised about his use of plants, though, because he was always knowledgeable about plants. His rose whip clashed against his opponent's fishing line, and it was hard for me to keep up with their movements. I'd see spurts of blood coming from them both after they had been hit, but I wasn't able to see the actual attack take place. Eventually, I saw some smoke rising around the arena, but it didn't come out of the perimeter of the platform. It was like a small dome itself, smoke enveloping everything. I couldn't see the inside of the arena anymore.

"What's happening?" Kuwabara and I asked at the same time.

"An Idunn Box," Hiei said. He must have heard something I didn't. I looked over to him, waiting for him to explain. "Are you deaf?"

"Just explain!" I snapped at him, worried for Kurama.

"It reverses the aging process," Hiei looked over to me and I realized what that meant...

"And this is legal in the fight?" I asked frantically.

Hiei shrugged without wincing, "Even if it was illegal, the committee won't give a shit."

I looked up to the VIP seating area near the ceiling of the dome, where the windows were tinted. I couldn't see in them but I searched for my father anyways, looking for which he'd be in. He'd open his mouth to the committee about this, I swear he would. Because I'd make him. I found his aura and turned around to face the window, but another aura seeped in. A familiar, yet different aura. It was Kurama's, but it wasn't... I turned back around to look at the smokey, miniature dome that covered the arena.

"Is that... Is that Kurama?" I asked quietly.

Hiei smirked, "Seems that fool's box turned Kurama back into his demon form, who he was originally before he was tainted by you humans."

I looked at Hiei and then back to the arena. I ignored his rude comment, because I didn't think he really meant it. I still couldn't see anything in the arena.

"Almost sixteen years ago, Yoko Kurama was thought to have been killed while escaping hunters. He was forced into a young human's body, waiting to recover his energy," Hiei explained.

I knew that. Kurama had told me that, but now I would actually see him for what he told me he really was. A few minutes passed and the some of the smoke began to clear. I saw a different man, with silver hair and golden eyes, a fox tail and ears... That was Kurama. That was my best friend, someone I trusted... Someone I ended up trusting more than my brother, my own flesh and blood.

And this form was who he really was. His real form was just something I'd have to get used to understanding. It was new to me and a bit unnerving, and I wondered why he never told me about himself until recently. But that was a question for another time, for now I'd just focus on what was happening.

The smoke continued to disperse slowly.

"Hold on, you guys!" I heard Koto announce from somewhere in the audience. "Is it just me, or am I seeing my fantasy coming true? It's Yoko Kurama!"

"Woah, he really is that fox demon. And to think I let him near my cat Eikichi!" I heard Kuwabara gasp.

I just looked at him in his new form... his original form. And I smiled a bit. I saw the rest of the smoke clear and an ugly ogre-like demon was laying on the arena with a sword through his back. Kurama had won. I watched as his silver-haired fox form morphed back into the red-haired Kurama I knew. Juri made the final verdict of the match and I ran to met Kurama half way once he stepped off the arena to see how he was feeling. He had cuts all over from the fishing rod's line.

"How are you feeling?" I asked. I was about to touch his arms but I stopped myself.

"I'm fine, I would be able to fight again," he reassured me. That wasn't why I was asking, but okay, Kurama.

"The Urameshi Team is allowed to pick their next contestant!" Juri suddenly announced.

I looked past Kurama and saw the pink eyed boy on the arena, waiting. I didn't like him looking at me. He kept playing with his aura and it was _really_ obnoxious. There was suddenly a bunch of feminine shrieks of pleasure throughout the audience. He had a bunch of fan girls calling out his name... Shishiwakamaru. Gross. I moved to hide behind Kurama's body to shield myself from his view.

"I'll go up," Kurama offered, turning around to face him.

"No, you're not in shape to fight," Hiei said.

"And you are?" I said sardonically as I crossed my arms, turning to face Hiei.

He gave me a death glare and then said to Kurama, "You just want to find out the secret of that box, we can't afford to risk losing a match for your personal gain."

"I haven't fought yet," Kuwabara said. "I should go up."

"Yes, let the ugly beast come up," Shisiwakamaru grinned to Kuwabara.

"Oh, it's personal now," Kuwabara said, running up to the arena.

"No, I'm going," I heard from Hiei.

The three of them began to argue, and it was _so_ annoying. They were like school children. But part of me liked it, it was almost amusing.

"Rock, paper, scissors," I offered a childish solution for their childish banter.

"What's that?" Hiei asked, looking to me.

"Yes, that seems almost fair for this situation," Kurama said.

"Hah! I'm the king of rock, paper, scissors," Kuwabara said proudly. "I'm in!"

Hiei kept looking at me and I explained it to him using the hand signs alongside Kurama, "It's a game."

Kurama narrated my hand signals, "Rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, paper beats rock."

Hiei suddenly had a confident face plastered on and agreed to play.

"Beginners can only use rock," Kuwabara said seriously.

"Don't listen to him," I laughed.

"He's pulling your leg," Kurama nodded in agreement.

I felt Shishiwakamaru's eyes on me and I looked over to him and glared. I really didn't like being stared at. If I were having an episode right now, his staring would only make it worse. It would push me farther into anxiety, make the voices louder and worse... I did _not_ like being stared at.

"I'm surprised a lovely lady is among this team," He said, but he knew I wasn't apart of this team. He probably wanted me to talk to him. I flipped him off with my manicured nails. "A feisty geisha."

I glared over to him and was about to return to watch the battle of rock, paper, scissors, but he said something that I found a bit off.

"This team is self-owned," he said.

Okay? I didn't care... I turned to look at the boys continuing to throw out more signs. They couldn't accept the other person winning, and continued to throw out signs, redoing their battle.

"Okay, okay..." I stepped in between the boys to make them stop. When they were all looking at me, I stepped back to where I was before. "Best three out of five."

They went at it again.

"And we have a deal with your father," he continued. I perked up and turned back towards him. My stomach started to churn in anticipation. "If we win, you're put up for auction for the Black Black Club."

My brain turned to mush, swirling in my skull. I could feel my temples throbbing in pain. No. No, no, no, no, no. He had to be lying.

"Win what?" I squeaked. "The match?"

"Sure," the boy grinned. "The match."

Kuwabara's victory of rock, paper, scissors, was short lived, because the boy's overheard Shishiwakamaru. My knees gave out and I collapsed to the ground, squatting. My hands found their way to my forehead and I tried putting pressure on my forehead to stop the throbbing, but it wouldn't stop. It wouldn't stop. Nothing would stop.

It felt awkward as the kimono was tight on my legs, but I managed to balance as I tried to calm myself. It was hard, it was as if the dome was spinning...

I'd really be put up in front of them, forced to wait it out as they started bidding on me? Forced to go with the highest bidder...? I was fucking useless, Hiei could do what I do. I wasn't special. I didn't understand why this was happening...

"Adrian wouldn't put his daughter on auction for the Black Black Club," Kurama said.

Shishiwakamaru replied, "He didn't. His deal with us has to do with if we lose."

"What happens if you lose?" I was hopeful as I looked up.

The dome was still a bit wobbly. My hands were still planted on my throbbing forehead, my elbows rested on my knees. He ignored me.

I watched as Kuwabara ran up to the arena.

"Don't worry, Satomi!" Kuwabara boasted heroically. "Everything will be fine."

I knew Kuwabara had to be a good fighter or he wouldn't have survived this long, but I still didn't feel good about him fighting for my life. I'd feel much better if Hiei was up there, or even Kurama. It was nothing against Kuwabara, I just knew Hiei and Kurama could win a fight... I hadn't seen Kuwabara fight before.

Kurama sighed, "Even if Kuwabara loses, we still have a chance at winning the match."

I kept seeing the men in my head again, I felt like I was at the dinner table again. I could feel their eyes on me, leering at me. I remembered the thoughts, how I was an object, a way to make profits. I wasn't human to them, I was a breathing sack of meat with multiple orifices to put things in...

Shakily, I stood up and I felt Kurama's hand on my back. I actually contemplated suicide for a while, thinking of how I'd go about it. That would make this all stop, right? I was just starting to feel better too... Kurama and Hiei stayed silent next to me as we watched Kuwabara swing his spirit sword at his opponent. It was useless, he wasn't going to win. I turned around to leave back to the hotel to find a way to off myself and felt a harsh grip on my wrist.

"Satomi, he means the whole match," Kurama repeated, reassuring me. But I realized Kurama wasn't the one gripping my wrist when I turned around to face him. "If Kuwabara loses this fight we can still win."

"No, I'm done," I tried yanking my arm away. Hiei's grip didn't loosen. I gave up trying to move away, I felt too heavy and nothing was worth effort anymore. Even the option of killing myself was too much effort now. I sighed sadly.

I watched as Shishiwakamaru wrapped a clear, silverish cape over Kuwabara. Kuwabara disappeared into the cape, and I lost track of his aura.

"Gone," I said quietly. I felt Hiei's grip loosen, and he slowly took his hand off my wrist as he watched Kuwabara disappear.

"It's as if he's ceased to exist," Kurama nodded.

Juri then decided Shishiwakamaru the winner and I felt my stomach churning harder than before as I heard his fan girls screaming from the seats. My head was throbbing again, and now I couldn't push away any voices that were seeping through. I watched as Shishiwakamaru threw up some dice in the air. Juri read the decisions aloud to the audience, "Uraotogi Team gets to choose their fighter, while the Urameshi Team's fighter is Masked Fighter."

The Masked Fighter wasn't even here. They were going to be disqualified...

"I said from the beginning I'd be the substitute," I saw Hiei grin, eager to get the fight before Kurama had a chance to speak up.

I felt a weird presence come up behind me and turned around, the masked fighter was walking up to us. I'd been around this person before, so I knew what their aura was really like. But it didn't feel the same at all. It felt meek and tired, drained. I stayed silent as they walked past me and put their hand on Hiei's shoulder.

Hiei turned around and glared, "You really don't expect us to believe you're the same person who was under that mask before? They had tremendous power, and you're nothing."

"It belongs to Yusuke now," the Fighter made their way up to the arena.

"That's the same person..." I whispered to Kurama.

"Yes, they have the same smell but..." his reply trailed off quietly, watching the Masked Fighter make their way to the opponent.

I still didn't feel good about that person being up there. I didn't know about them or if they could fight. I just wanted to disappear...

But I watched the match anyways, wondering if... _hoping_ they would win.

Eventually, Shishiwakamaru cut off the Masked Fighters mask, and an old woman's face surfaced as the clothe fell off. I didn't understand the uproar from the audience. Koto, still sitting in the audience, put on an old clip from one of their earlier matches, and the film showed a young woman underneath the mask. I looked over to the old woman on the arena, they looked the same. Only this woman on the arena looked older, much older.

"We'll be getting a verdict from the committee soon!" Koto announced, and I looked over to Kurama.

He looked down at me and saw my exasperated face. Even he didn't have the heart to put his hand on my back to console me. The Urameshi Team was going to be disqualified for cheating, and that meant they'd lose.

And that meant I was going up on auction.

I put my hands to cover my face and tried to take deep breaths. Maybe I should hang myself, I thought, or maybe just jump off the roof of the hotel.

My stomach churned as minutes later, Koto returned to her seat with a paper. I held my breath.

I would leave a note saying goodbye, I thought, and it would say something profound. Maybe something like _I'm just too fucking done with life. Goodbye._

"The committee has decided that the Urameshi Team will not be disqualified!" Koto announced.

The audience threw a fit as I dropped down to squat again, relieved and breathing. I couldn't believe the verdict was real. I was so relieved, adrenaline and relief began pushing throughout my body and there was only one way to get it out.

I laughed. I was laughing harder than I should have been laughing. Mixtures of disbelief, relief, and invincibility. I shook my head as I continued to laugh, "I hate this place so much. I hate everyone here. This place is going to drive me insane."

Despite what I had said, I was so happy. So relieved. I don't remember being this happy in a long time. Maybe it was just the relief flowing throughout my body that gave off that feeling, but I wasn't going to split hairs about my feelings right now. I pushed away all the negative and suicidal thoughts easily.

I stood up shakily, now from the adrenaline and relief instead of fear, and breathed. The stupid luck of the boys and this team was rubbing onto me. I turned to face the pissed off audience and listened to their complaints. Even though there was still a chance that the boys could lose, I was still too happy. I was relieved from the boys' luck, the fact that so many things turned shitty for them yet turned out okay. It was as if these boys' luck wouldn't run out. It would soon, though, like everyone else's luck. But not yet.

I saw the larger man that had cut my hand step up next to Koto and begin talking into the mic, explaining why the committee didn't disqualify the Urameshi Team. I heard people mumbling in the audience to listen because "it's Toguro." I had finally learned his name... I heard him say the woman's name was Genkai, and everyone in the audience was surprised at who she was. She was some sort of legend.

The fight resumed.

I turned around and watched happily as Shishiwakamaru, who was angry at the committee's decision, brandished his sword. The hilt looked like it had muscles, a face... it kind of throbbed. I couldn't tell if it was really throbbing or not because I was so far away. Even the screams and howls the sword began emitting didn't phase me. I mean, they hurt my ears and head, and I had to put my hands up to cover my ears, but I didn't care. Eventually, the screaming stopped. And he yelled out his attack before he delivered it.

What a loser.

"Banshee Scream!" He yelled as his sword made impact with the ground where Genkai, the old woman, had been standing.

"I don't think he understands the power of that sword," Kurama said as hundreds of ghostly souls shaped as skulls surfaced from the impact. I hid behind Hiei as I watched the skulls roam about the dome, biting the heads off audience members.

I quickly remembered Yukina was in the audience. I looked around for her, feeling for her aura. I saw her scrambling around the demons and apparitions that were running in fear. She saw me and started running down the steps to meet me. But as I ran towards the wall that separated the seats from the arena, I felt someone pull me back by my kimono, choking me. Hiei.

"Wander off and your head will disappear," Hiei snapped.

"Your sister's up there!" I snapped back. But when I turned around again to run back to the wall, one of the skulls was heading towards us.

Hiei's grip on the back of my kimono's collar hadn't loosened, and he dragged me back towards him with his good arm. He wrapped his good arm around my neck defensively as a skull drifted closer. I watched as he took his injured arm out of his makeshift sling, and with a simple swipe, he hit through the skull and made it disappear. He didn't even wince as he tried putting his arm back into the makeshift sling he made for his shoulder. I quickly helped him put it back in the sling and squeezed his good shoulder as a quick gesture of thanks.

I turned around to look for Yukina, she was closer to the wall now. Running up to meet her, I watched Yukina as she made it there safely, and I urged her to jump. Daintily, she climbed over the wall in her kimono and jumped off. I was glad I took off my wedges because if I hadn't, Yukina and I would have been a tangled mess on the ground. I still fell over when I tried catching her, because I wasn't strong enough to catch her without faltering. We fell to the ground, but were able to quickly get up and move. We grabbed onto each other and scrambled to hide up against the wall as the skulls slowly dispersed one by one. I wasn't going to let her leave my side until Genkai took out that freak. He was probably going to use the same attack again.


	16. The Youth

Yukina and I huddled close to each other against the wall. I put my body slightly in front of her as I watched the skulls swarm around the arena. They were slowly dispersing, vanishing, one by one.

"Did you get hurt up there?" I asked, looking to Yukina. She shook her head.

"What was wrong earlier?" she asked, huddling closer to me. For some reason, she seemed to feel safer now that we were next to each other. "Why were you so scared?"

I shook my head, remembering why I had actually contemplated killing myself. "If they lose this match, I'm going to be auctioned off," I said quietly, looking to the ground.

"To who?" She asked as a shrilling sound echoed throughout the dome. We clapped our hands over our ears, waiting for it to stop.

"The same people as always," I said loudly over the shrieks about a minute later.

She opened her eyes to look at me sadly and the shrieks stopped. I looked around, but there were no more skulls. I turned to Yukina and saw her grim expression for a second. We ignored what happened on the arena. What drove us out of the stupid pity party I created was Juri's announcement, "Genkai wins the fight!"

"It'll be fine," Yukina said reassuringly. "They won't lose."

I nodded hopefully and watched as Kuwabara suddenly appeared through the entrance and made his way onto the arena to fight an old man. I felt good so far, these boys had luck with the committee right now. They could fight too, so maybe I would be fine.

"He should win this one," I sighed, holding my head in my hand. But nope.

My head fell out of my hand's hold as I watched Kuwabara disappear again only moments later. I sighed and looked up into the audience, distraught, and noticed Shizuru and Botan in the audience, and told Yukina. She put her hand on my shoulder and then got up to go sit with them. I stayed sitting down and watched Kurama, Hiei, and Genkai step into the ring for a decision. I couldn't hear everything, but the diced rolled once more and Genkai stepped forward. This old lady knew what she was doing, so I felt much better. I was going to be just fine. I wasn't going to be put up for auction.

I watched as the old man started to rip his face off, but there was no blood so I didn't gag. He was wearing a costume. I kind of zoned out a bit, watching the fight mindlessly, too happy about knowing that Genkai would win. I was too busy feeling relieved about not being auctioned off that I didn't realize the attack Genkai's opponent had done.

"Move, Satomi!" I heard someone call, and I snapped out of it.

Next thing I knew, I was pushed aside. I lay on the ground and coughed as the dust and dirt collected around me, large clouds of debris floating in the air. I felt someone gripping my shoulder and looked around. I first made eye contact with the destroyed wall, where I was just sitting... I noticed much of the audience had disappeared out of the dome. Then I looked over to find Hiei standing over me.

"You stupid girl, what are you even doing down here still?" He yelled at me. How often did he talk to me in a nice tone again?

I shrugged innocently, I really didn't know why I stayed down here. I kind of liked being down here. It was comfortable, I had adjusted down here.

He gave an exasperated sigh as he pulled me up by my arm. I began to dust off my kimono as Genkai emerged from the ashes of the damaged wall. I watched as Genkai found her way back onto the arena and Hiei began walking back to where he was standing before.

"Should I go up to the seats then?" I asked, but he didn't reply. I watched as Kuwabara ran up to the arena again and I followed along, coming up to the three boys. I picked up the wedges from the ground, where I had dropped them earlier. I was about to go back to the seats when I heard Hiei's smart ass remark.

"So which is more humiliating, losing to an old man or a clown?" Hiei smirked to Kuwabara as he nodded towards the Genkai's creepy opponent.

"Clown," Kuwabara wheezed. "Definitely a clown."

Kurama and I face-palmed that Kuwabara actually replied to that... I turned to the match and watched as Genkai beat the crap out her opponent, hand-to-hand combat. She just laid him out. God, she was so badass. Especially for her age. I mean, she could kick _ass. _And her opponent had no chance to fight back.I couldn't even see part of the fight because she was so fast. But she won. The match had been won... It took a minute for that to register in my head. I mean, I expected it, but still...

"YES!" I shrieked, jumping up and down when it finally dawned on me that I was really okay. I really wasn't going to be auctioned off. They won fair and square and the committee couldn't do anything about it and... I wasn't going to be auctioned off! I hugged Kurama and he patted my back, though it was a small gesture, I knew it meant he was relieved too. I couldn't remember what being empty felt like.

* * *

A few hours later in the bathroom at the hotel, I took my hair out of the bun and changed into a pink sweatshirt with black leggings. I set the orchid from my hair on the bathroom sink. Everyone else was in the other room with Botan tending to the boy's wounds. I looked in the mirror as I heard the CD playing in the gathering area of the room. An old song came on, it was a classic, my father told me. Do the Hustle. I listened to the song and took my hair out of the ofuku. I was happy about the boys winning.

I looked at my hair in the mirror. I loved it. My hair had a lot of volume because of the way Yukina had brushed it up into the bun, my fringe was still tucked up, and the rest of my hair fell in one big curl. My hair looked like a shorter version of Jessie's hair from Pokemon, a cartoon I would occasionally watch. I laughed a bit and put my hands on my hips. _Prepare for trouble_, I thought to myself. I laughed some more as I ran my hand through my hair to lay it out better, straightening the ends so it laid flat. When I left the bathroom I went to fold Botan's kimono and I realized there was some blood on the sleeve, and there was a tear. I rolled up the sleeve on my sweatshirt and realized I had scraped my elbow when Hiei had pushed me out of the way earlier.

I felt horrible because I didn't even ask Botan if I could wear her clothes to begin with. I sighed and rolled down my sleeve.

And for some reason I realized something completely off topic. The thoughts of killing myself seemed so far away now. Here I sat, perfectly fine... still a feeling a bit empty occasionally... but otherwise, fine. I wondered why I had jumped to that thought: killing myself. Maybe because I knew everything would just stop. Everything bad would just stop if I killed myself. But if I was really getting stronger, I wouldn't think about that. Suicide wouldn't be an option. Or maybe, I was strong because of that. I was so willing to kill myself and make everything stop. Suicide took courage... misplaced courage, but courage nonetheless. I pondered on it for a while and sighed, giving up on the right answer and whether or not there was one.

I folded up the kimono and decided that later, I would apologize to Botan for ruining her kimono. I would buy her a new one. I nodded my head to the beat of the drum from the next song as I pondered some more on why it was so easy for me to become sad. I felt an uneasy feeling in my stomach, a clenching feeling, heavy and unwelcoming, and I stopped thinking about everything negative. I was probably about to dig up some repressed memories. I stopped thinking about it, I didn't want to ruin my good mood right now.

A presence came in the room that distracted me, and I welcomed it gratefully. I looked up to the window sill and found Hiei there. He had just arrived. I looked over to him as he sat down on the window sill, and I smiled a bit when I saw him there.

"Do you want me to bandage you up?" I asked. I knew he wasn't going to ask Yukina to heal him, though she would have been the better choice between the two of us. Botan was a better healer than me, too. But I don't know why he didn't go to her.

He stayed silent. I retrieved some towels from the bathroom and a large bowl of warm water and set them down on the night stand next to the bed. I went back to get the first aid kit that was lying underneath the sink. I sat down on the bed next to Hiei as he took off his shirt so I could wipe off all the blood.

"This really doesn't hurt?" I asked, wetting the towel in the water. I began wiping the blood off his shoulder and arm.

He shrugged. Obviously not. I put pressure on his shoulder to help stop the bleeding. It took a few minutes but the flow slowed down considerably. I noticed his arm was bruising.

"Your hair looks stupid," he suddenly said.

"You know, there should be a law," I replied as I began to wipe the blood off that had trickled down on his arm. "A law that makes it illegal for you to open your mouth and let any sound come out."

"Hn."

"That sound especially. It should get you the death sentence."

He smirked as I got another towel and dried his shoulder. The bite marks started to bleed again, so I quickly started to bandage his shoulder. Another song came on... it was a recording. I didn't think I packed this CD. I stopped bandaging him and listened, some old memories were dug up from the corner of my brain.

"Mamoru said he and his mom can pick you up," I heard my voice come from the stereo.

There was a bunch of mumbled conversations in the CD.

"I'll murda' ya, Hikaru," I heard myself say.

"Turn on the recording before you do that," a boy's voice said.

"It's been recording," I replied.

"Oh, shit," the boy said. A pair of drumsticks clapped together, signaling to begin. "Let's play then!"

Loud rock music followed almost instantly. They sounded like Snowing, and they were my friends at the time, so I agreed to help them record some of their songs. I looked down at the ground as I listened to the music, a lot of memories coming back all at once.

"Don't get all emotional," I heard Hiei say. I realized how upset I looked.

"I won't," I replied, straightening my face, wiping off the emotions. I took a towel and wiped off the blood that had accumulated and then continued to bandage him. "They don't deserve any of my emotions. Good or bad."

He looked at me. His face didn't have an expression, but I knew he was surprised that I had friends before.

"Ex friends," I replied, tightening the bandages. They didn't deserve to be called old friends, or anything respectful. He looked at me skeptically. "I _used to_ have friends, you know. Just because I'm not a social butterfly doesn't mean it's impossible for me to have friends."

He kept looking at me as I looked at the bandages. I continued wrapping his shoulder, he was still bleeding.

"The boy you heard was Hikaru, an ex friend of mine," I said. "He let me know I couldn't trust anyone but Kurama. I learned to stop trusting people after him."

* * *

I remembered that day now, and the night before it. I was thirteen. I began to have an episode that night, and naturally I would have went to Kurama. He was a year older than me and was in the other room, studying for his high school entrance exams. It would have been selfish for me to have went into his room with my problems. So I hid under my covers, crying, and called Hikaru. He picked up his phone and talked me through it. He helped me calm down. I felt much closer to him, I felt like he really cared. I had another person who cared about me, and that was a great feeling. Especially after dealing with Satoshi and his death, and mother and father leaving to America, it was a really nice feeling to know that someone else cared for me. I really did love Kurama's care for me, and Shiori's... but it was nice to know someone else could care for me as well.

The next day, I remember how I had done my hair. I wore it in a high pony tail and frayed my fringe to make it poof up and to the side. I was excited to see someone who I cared about, someone who cared about me. I remember walking up to Hikaru, his back was turned to me and he was talking to the rest of the group that we hung out with. They were all huddled up together in a small circle, talking about something. I could hear him as I got closer. He was mimicking my voice, talking in a shrilled, almost feminine, whiny tone.

"They won't stop, Hikaru. They won't stop!" He laughed. I stood behind him with my school bag in my hand. One of our friends, Mamoru, noticed me and stopped laughing.

"Dude, shut up," he said to Hikaru, who turned around to find me standing behind him. I was disgusted and betrayed. My brows furrowed and my jaw was agape with astonishment that Hikaru had _really_ sunk that low. I was crushed. I felt heavy and couldn't move. It was like a ton of weights were attached to my legs and body, I had no will to move. The group just stared at me, and eventually, one by one, they shuffled away, ashamed. Hikaru stayed after for a few seconds. He wasn't ashamed, which was surprising. He was happy to show me off to his friends and we weren't even dating, like he was happy to be standing next to me, happy to be my friend. But now, he just looked at me with a blank, unapologetic expression, and left.

I couldn't move still. My eyes lowered to the ground, the dirt at my feet. I had no will to move. The bell rang. About a half hour later of staring at the dirt, my eyes started to water.

* * *

I set down the bandages and got up to change the song. I didn't want to hear Hikaru's voice. The song skipped to a song Kurama had shown me a year or so ago. It was an instrumental by Susumu Hirasawa called "Chiyoko's Theme." I really liked it, and the another good thing about the song was that my middle name was Chiyoko, so it made me feel like this song was composed just for me.

Middle names in Japan were not a custom, but my father insisted I have a middle name. He didn't want an English name, the flow of my name would have sounded off with an English name in the middle, so he picked his favorite female Japanese name. I smiled when the song came on and returned to sit down next to Hiei to finish his bandages.

"You trust others besides Kurama," Hiei spoke up suddenly, his tone almost smug. I thought about it and he was right, I did. I trusted Hiei.

"Yeah, but you're forgetting something," I replied as I finished the bandages. "I didn't choose to trust you, I just ended up trusting you. I didn't go to you when I had an episode, you always happened to be there. And it's not personal or anything, but I still expect you to treat me like everyone else has."

Well, actually. He had already treated me like everyone else. That day all those months ago, his look of disgust when he saw my wrist. I became a bit angry at him again as I remembered that, but I sighed and pushed the memory away because I remembered how he made up for it. He didn't treat me like that anymore. Hiei wasn't exactly nice, definitely not sympathetic towards me, but he didn't disrespect me. I began to put away the remaining, unused bandages into the first aid kit.

"What about your brother?" He asked. I looked up to him curiously, wondering why he was suddenly so interested, why he thought of my brother. His voice was still uncaring, but his questions seemed to make him look like he cared. I grabbed the first aid kit.

"In the end, I couldn't trust him. He was the same as everyone else," I replied softly, setting the first aid kit next to me on the bed. "But despite what he said to me and how he treated me during the last few months of his life, I still love him. He's my brother and I can't stop loving him."

I remembered Satoshi's last words to me, and he didn't talk to me for_ months_. You'd think that when you live in the same house with someone, you'd talk to them eventually. But Satoshi... I have to hand it to him in a strange way, because he was able to ignore my existence for months. I still don't know how he did it, but he did it. Those words still wrap around my heart and try to make it stop beating, they flow around in my stomach, making me upset.

I turned to see the cuts on Hiei's stomach and reached towards them as I asked, "Do you want me to clean those too?"

He grabbed my hand with his own, and gently pushed my hand away. He didn't want me to touch him. Respecting that, I stood up to go pour out the bowl of bloody water and grabbed the towels, and headed towards the bathroom. After pouring out the bloody water in the sink and throwing the towels in the hamper, I came back out to find him with his shirt on. He was still sitting on the bed.

"What did your brother do?" He asked, looking up towards me as I walked closer to the bed.

"Why are you suddenly taking an interest in my sob stories?" I replied, looking at him. He looked out the window. "It's really not like you..."

He stayed quiet as I sat back down on the bed, next to him. I kept remembering my brother's words and my stomach started to churn again. I looked at the white socks I had on. They were dirty from the dirt at the stadium.

"I came home from school one day," I answered finally. The song ended, and the song "Run On" by Moby came on. I turned to the stereo, I liked this song. I focused on the song for a few seconds and realized I hadn't finished. I remembered exactly how the scenario went. "And he called me a freak."

Hiei stayed silent. I shrugged at the memory, trying to push it away, and remembered I had packed some fruit snacks in my duffle bag. I completely forgot about them.

"Do you like fruit?" I asked, getting up. I wanted to change the subject.

No reply.

"Candy?" I asked as I dug through a pocket in the duffle bag. He stayed quiet as I pulled out a bag of fruit gummies. I remember he didn't know what rock, paper, scissors was, he might not know was candy was. "Do you know what candy is?"

No reply. He just looked at the little bag I pulled out.

"It's a sweet treat, and it comes in all these fruity flavors," I rambled. "This is my favorite kind of candy."

I tore open the bag and offered him some, holding the bag in front of him. He looked at it skeptically, yet curiously. He didn't reach for any.

I pulled away the bag and said with a childish smile, "Fine, more for me."

I sat down next to him as I dug in the bag, looking for my favorite gummy. I pulled out a small orange shaped gummy and ate it. I held the bag in front of him again, "You sure you don't want to try any?"

He looked at it and looked away. I continued to eat the gummies and we sat in silence. I thought about Satoshi for a while, remembering what he'd said to me. And then I thought about Yukina, and how she might feel if she knew Hiei was her brother. Yukina wasn't like Satoshi, she wouldn't say anything mean to Hiei.

"The good thing about Yukina," I said suddenly. "Is that she's a nice girl. You could tell her you're her brother, and I'm sure she won't care about anything you've done. Especially if you regret it, which you seem to when the subject's brought up."

He stayed silent. It was like talking to a wall sometimes. He got up to leave and I finally realized the Yukina subject was taboo. He was going to leave through the front door and I kept my back turned to him as I said, "Unless you're going to do it yourself or ask Botan, come back later and I'll fix your bandages. You're still bleeding."

He ignored me.

"Bye..." I said, wanting him to say goodbye. I didn't turn around to see him, and he didn't respond. The door opened and closed, and he was gone.

I leaned backwards and lay on the bed. I remembered all of the stuff I had just told Hiei and then thought about the match. Hiei's third eye, Kurama's original form, my father's wager...

All of my angry and sad thoughts came back. I didn't want to be alone right now, because there was nothing to distract me from all the thoughts passing through, all the feelings.

Like what was the wager if the Uraotogi Team lost? My dad could do nothing else to stop them from auctioning me except bet and hope they lost? Seriously? I became even more upset, and I reached for more gummies, hoping they'd take my mind off the stupid thoughts, even if just for a few seconds. But they didn't, I just chewed angrily for a few minutes.

And then I didn't have the energy to chew anymore, and I sadly sunk into the bed. I needed to control my emotions better, this sucked. I was feeling fine just a few minutes ago and now here I was, angry and sad about the memories. The memories I had dug up, everything that had happened over the past few days, today... My brother.

I remembered what my brother had said to me.

* * *

I came in through the front door after walking home from school. I was eleven, my brother had recently turned seventeen. He had been studying for college entrance exams and had taken the day off from school. Like always, mother and father weren't home. But they had a list of chores for us to do so I was surprised to see Satoshi leaving. I started to take off my shoes as Satoshi and his friend rounded the corner from the living room. They were leaving somewhere and I wondered if he did his chores.

"Hey, that's your little sister? She's adorable, man," his friend said with a welcoming smile. He wasn't saying it to be a creep, he was just complimenting me. I smiled back at him.

My brother walked past me without a greeting or acknowledgement and opened the front door. This bothered me because I usually got at least a "hey," even when he was angry or upset.

"Yeah, whatever, man," Satoshi said, disgusted. "She's a fucking freak."

Low blow to the stomach. My smiled disappeared and my jaw hung open in shock. His friend gently pushed him by the shoulder, surprised and disgusted that he said that about me. I was in shock, and the words didn't exactly register yet. Part of me just stood there thinking "No, he didn't just say that about me. No."

I just stared up at my brother who was halfway out the door. Satoshi turned around to look at me, and glowered down at me with unapologetic green eyes. I stared up at him, wondering if he meant what he said. But his face, his eyes... they really told it all. He meant more than what he said. Satoshi turned away and left, and his friend just turned to looked at me. His eyes were sad as he looked down at me. He shook his head and walked away, closing the door behind him.

I felt heavy again and I stood in the same spot for about an hour before I decided to slowly make my way upstairs to my room. He didn't talk to me ever again. A few months later, he killed himself.

* * *

Remembering that, voices came up. They were harsh and rude, angry. They were quiet but persistent, and strangely, I welcomed them more than I did my feelings, and concentrated on them. Some were my head, some were other's thoughts. I paid attention to other's thoughts, listening to what they had to say. They were horrible, but seemed petty compared to how I was feeling, petty compared to what I had picked up from the men at the dinner table. I listened to them for a while longer, but got bored of them. I pushed them away and listened to what my head was saying. They had been masked by other's thoughts I was picking up, but now they were crystal clear, and they were angry and sly.

_There are bugs on the bed._

I turned my head to look at the sheets and then closed my eyes. There were no bugs.

_If you don't move, they'll kill you._

No, they wouldn't.

_They'll crawl on you._

No, they won't.

I stayed put, listening to the voices talk to me. I felt a bit anxious because I wasn't listening to what my head wanted me to do. I was taught that there were always consequences for not listening to my head. But I knew if I listened to my head now then I really wasn't strong at all. Another instrumental came on, Colin Jame's "Speechless." I was itching to get up, to listen to the voices, but I pushed myself to stay put. It was easier to deal with the voices than it was my feelings.

The music didn't suit the mood at all as I continued to listen to my head badger at me. They were getting harsher, angrier, as if they were mad I wasn't listening to them. They began to threaten me with harsher consequences.

_Get up or Shiori will get sick again._

I instantly sat up and got off the bed. I wasn't as strong as I thought. I slapped my hands over my face and groaned as I leaned backwards, falling onto the bed again. As I pushed the thoughts away, I felt disappointed in myself, sad, angry... every negative emotion was flowing through my body and around me. I sighed heavily, feeling the wet bandage on my face. I didn't realize I had gotten it wet when I was cleaning Hiei's shoulder. I felt Kurama come into the room quietly.

"Satomi," I heard Kurama behind me. I felt him sit down on the bed next to me and I looked over to him, moving my hands off my face. I watched as he held up my phone. "You have a problem."

I looked at my phone and saw the notifications... twenty-three missed calls from my mother...

I shot up like a bat out of hell and grabbed my phone from him and called her back. All negative emotions vanished, fear replaced them. You didn't _know_ fear until you found missed calls from your mother. She called hours ago. She was probably on a plane over to Japan already. She'd find out I was gone... and I didn't even want to think about what would happen if she found out about all of this. I waited impatiently as the phone rang.


	17. Fly Until You Crash

It felt like forever, my heart pounded hard, threatening to burst out of my chest. But my mother picked up on the third ring.

"Mother," I snapped loudly on accident. My heart began to slow down.

"Oh, god, Satomi," she yelled through the phone. "I was so worried about you, I just purchased a plane ticket to go over there to see if you were okay."

"I'm fine," I said. "My phone died while I was out and I didn't have my charger with me."

"For six hours?" She asked skeptically. I don't remember the last time I looked at my phone.

"Yes," I replied quickly and face-palmed at how horrible a lie that was. Quick, subject change. "I'm with Shuichi now."

I pushed the phone towards him and he said hello into the phone. I pulled the phone back up to my ear. I could hear my piercings clink lightly against the phone's screen.

"Oh, how sweet. I'm glad you two are spending more time together," she sighed.

I actually _lived with _Kurama for a while. Even with the incident that put me in the ER after I moved out, and the issue with Shiori's health that put her in the hospital, our lack of contact wasn't that long. But I stayed quiet, letting her continue.

"I prefer him much more to that old boy, Mamoru, that you used to date."

I dated Mamoru for, like, a month when I was thirteen. And it was stupid and dumb and didn't feel like a real relationship at all. It wasn't a real relationship. It was, you know, a typical thirteen year old's relationship. It ended quickly.

"We're not dating, mother..." I sighed.

She loved Kurama because he was so dedicated to his schoolwork. She wanted me to find someone like my father. Well, in the sense that he would work hard, bring in a good pay, and support a family. My mother felt that Kurama was the number one choice, and constantly joked with Shiori that the two of us should get married. Kurama and I were not interested in that.

"A mother can dream," she laughed and I rolled my eyes. "I'll cancel the plane ticket. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said. "How's dad?"

"He's off on a business trip somewhere in China," she said that and I imagined her waving her manicured hand around vaguely, not remembering the place.

"Oh, that's cool."

"Speaking of your father, that's why I called," she said, heart dropped into my stomach.

"Why?" I started to panic, thinking up a lie to tell her. But lie about what? I didn't even know what she was going to say.

"He said I should check up on you, that's why I called."

My heart slowed and fluttered back into my chest where it belonged. I began to feel tired of her because oh gee, mother, you couldn't decide to do that on your own?

"Well, I'm fine..."

"That's great! I have to go, Satomi, I'm on the clock right now. I'll talk to you soon."

"Yup."

She hung up and I fell back onto the bed face first, drained more than before. I sunk face first into the sheets. Kurama put his hand on my back for comfort. My emotions sunk again, further, and I felt even worse. I sighed and tried pushing every negative emotion and thought away as I rolled over to face Kurama. I had to push myself to get better. Sulking wasn't going to help.

"You remember that song you showed me?" I asked dully.

"Which one?"

I sat up and grabbed my phone, and got up to go back to the CD player and went back to find the song. Chiyoko's Theme began playing again and I went through my phone's pictures, finding a picture of us at a summer festival. I was thirteen, and he was fourteen. We stood next to each other, and I was holding cotton candy in my hand with a big smile on my face. I wore an olive green kimono and my hair was in a high bun, with my fringe laying out. Kurama stood next to me with a small smile, in a blue kimono. His red hair was a bit shorter than it was now.

I handed him my phone and he looked at the photo.

"The summer you stayed with us," he said with the same small smile in the photo.

"I stayed with you guys for like a year," I corrected him, sitting down next to him.

"Yes, yet if felt like only the summer."

I thought about it, going back month by month. Satoshi died, I turned twelve, I broke down, then a few months later they decided to leave. "Let's see. I started living with you when my parents left, I was, like... twelve... and a half. I left when I was around fourteen. So about a bit over a year."

He thought about it a bit, looking at the photo still. When my parents left to America, Shiori agreed to let me stay in a small, spare room in their house. She was granted legal guardianship over me which allowed her access to my medical records and be present at any psychiatric meetings, as well as sign off on other official documents such as contracts for school.

My father compensated her for rent and other accommodations. I stayed with them for a while, and then Shiori started to get sick, and I offered to leave. I didn't want to be a burden on her and her family anymore, especially when she was sick. So I had my psychiatrist send my progress reports to my parents, and they okay'd it. I wasn't suicidal at that point, so I was allowed to move out.

I looked over to Kurama and he was still looking at the photo. I pulled the phone out of his grip and teased him, "So narcissistic."

He shrugged and smiled. And I remembered the question that popped into my head when I had seen him in his original form. I looked up to him and waited until he looked down at me.

"Why did you never tell me about yourself?" I asked. He had told me a few months ago, but I meant earlier in our friendship. "About who you really were."

He looked down at me and his smile faltered a bit, "You had your own demons to handle, Satomi. Telling you who I was could have put you into dangerous situations if they had arose."

I looked down at my dirty socks, I guess he was right. But I tried looking on the optimistic side, at least he cared enough to tell me when he did. That answer was good enough for me. I took a deep breath and leaned back on the bed, using my arms to support me. We stayed silent for a minute and then I remembered something. I watched as he reached over to the first aid kit and got out some bandages. He gestured for my injured hand and I held it up to him. He began replacing my wet bandages.

"I never got to give Mom her present all those months ago," I said quietly, remembering the scarf.

"You can give it to her when we return," He said.

I nodded and then became worried. What if he didn't come back with me? What if they lost? I stared down at my socks as I felt the wet bandages come off, "You'll be fine right? With the fighting, this tournament... You won't die, right?"

"I can make no promises."

My heart stung and I became more worried. Part of wished he would lie to me to make me feel better, "Well, what about Yusuke and Kuwabara?"

"They should be fine."

"Hiei?" I looked up to him and he saw the worry on my face.

"We all will be fine, Satomi."

I turned away from him to look at my socks again, and I could see him looking down at me from my peripheral vision as he started to wrap new bandages around my hand.

"You seem to have made friends with Hiei," he smiled, changing the subject to push my thoughts into a more positive light.

"Ha!" I laughed once, sarcastically. "If you could call that a friendship."

"You seem to have taken a liking to him," he gave me his annoying little I-know-you smirk.

"Yeah, he's a nice guy when he's not all moody," I said. I narrowed my eyes and tensed my face, and then tried to mimic Hiei's tone of voice, "Stop talking nice to me, woman. I'm grumpy and don't like people being nice to me ever. I'll kill you if you're nice to me again."

Kurama chuckled and I leaned back again on the bed when he was finished bandaging.

"How are you friends with him? He's so mean sometimes..." I sighed.

"He's nice in his own way."

"You can't change the definition of nice, Kurama," I laughed as he tightened the bandages in place. "But you're right, I guess. It's just that sometimes..."

The door opened, and Yukina and Keiko walked inside. Kurama looked at me before he stood up to leave somewhere, he was curious to the end of my sentence, but would wait until we were alone again to ask. But I didn't want to be left alone to my thoughts and feelings. I needed a distraction. Because if I was left alone, I'd start to think about my father and why the only thing he could do was _bet and hope _I didn't end up on auction.

"Yukina," I whined as she stepped closer to the bed. "Let me do your hair."

She thought about it for a second and smiled, "Sure."

I jumped up to get a brush from the bathroom and brushed my hair out to lay flat. Botan and Shizuru came in as I was walking out of the bathroom. I began brushing Yukina's hair after I plugged in the curling iron to an electrical socket. Kurama had left the room. Botan saw what I was doing and I watched as her facial expression shifted to resemble a cat's.

"Me next," she said, sitting down next to me. I looked to Botan and thought about what I could do to her hair and then remembered the curling iron was going to take a while to heat up.

"Wet your hair," I said. "I have an idea. Don't you have those little hair curlers with you?"

I remembered seeing her sleep in them. She went to go get them and luckily, she had quite a few. She left into the bathroom and I took Yukina's hair out of her low ponytail and started to get the feel of her hair. She had thick hair.

"I'm going to turn you into a blue-haired Goldilocks," I smiled at the thought of how she'd look.

"What's that?" She asked.

"She's a pretty girl from a... fairy tale," I thought that was the right word. As I waited for the curling iron to heat, Botan came back with her hair wet and a towel in hand. Botan's hair was thinner than Yukina's, so this was going to be easier. I waited as Botan dried her hair a bit and then started separating her hair and rolling large strands into the curlers. It was difficult using the brush to separate her hair into sections, but I managed.

"You'll be a pin up girl," I said, brushing out Botan's fringe.

"You know what you're doing with hair," Shizuru commented as she stood over me. Putting hair in curlers wasn't really a talent, but I was going to take the compliment anyways because I did know what I was doing with hair. "Ever cut hair before?"

"No," I replied honestly. My hair wasn't allowed near scissors. So I never bothered to practice on myself. I didn't have many friends to practice on, either. When I was around ten, my head urged me to cut my hair off. That's why my hair was so short in the picture I had with my brother.

"You'd be pretty good at it with some practice," Shizuru said. "What are your plans after high school?"

"College, I'll be going into the medical field," I replied, taking one of the curlers and pulling Botan's hair into them. I repeated that for the rest of her fringe and I wrapped them up tightly. "But I really do love doing hair and make up. I could do it as a little part time job in college, maybe."

"You have potential, I could use you in the shop."

I looked up to Shizuru curiously. She was offering me a job?

"Sure..." I replied quietly, a bit surprised. I finished rolling up Botan's hair how I wanted it. Her whole hair was covered in little curlers. "Okay, now you can let it dry naturally unless you have a hair dryer."

She got up to go see if there was one in the bathroom. I got the bottle of hair spray and lightly sprayed Yukina's hair and started curling it with the iron. She had thick hair so I had to use thin strands. This was helpful for me, I didn't think about my father or the Black Black Club once even though I was quiet most of the time. The girls mostly talked to each other and I would listen to their conversations. Occasionally I would accidentally pry into their heads, listen to their thoughts. I felt bad and stopped each time I realized what was happening. But once, I picked up some thoughts on Keiko while she was quiet. She was remembering something from earlier today, when she was holding onto Yusuke's exhausted body out in the forest. I'm guessing that's where he was throughout the match. I looked over to her and grinned. She blushed.

She liked Yusuke.

I put some bobby pins in my mouth, holding onto them as I separated Yukina's hair.

"Don't do that, Satomi!" She huffed, embarrassed.

"Sorry, it was an accident," I mumbled honestly through the bobby pins. "Still have trouble controlling this stuff..."

She was still blushing. I assumed that even if Keiko wanted to hide her little crush right now, she wasn't good at hiding it before.

"What kind of guys do you like, Satomi?" She huffed.

I shrugged and separated portions of Yukina's hair, "I don't have a type."

"Describe your dream guy," Botan perked up. I took the bobby pins out of my mouth.

"Descriptions aren't a good way to describe what kind of people you're interested in," I curled a lock of Yukina's hair and found another strand. Everyone but Yukina turned to look at me, not understanding what I meant. "Because you can make anyone sound perfect with a description! For example..."

I thought about it as I finished a portion of Yukina's hair. I moved myself to sit next to her to start on the other portion.

"Okay, I have an example," I laughed a bit as it came to mind. "Tell me if you think this sounds like an attractive guy you'd date."

Everyone but Shizuru nodded.

"Brown hair, daring, average stature, vegetarian, artist, animal lover, very passionate about issues, and well-kept, minimal facial hair," I waited for the girls to nod. They looked at each other and shrugged and then nodded their heads. Botan took a sip from her water bottle as I broke the reality to them, "I just described Hitler."

Botan spat out her drink and laughed, Keiko looked at me with shock, Shizuru chuckled slightly. Yukina looked confused and looked up to me as I got another strand of her hair, "Who's that?"

"This guy who killed millions of people because he wanted to create a pure race," I replied after I remembered she was new here. I was surprised Botan knew, but then I remembered she came to the human realm to guide people to the Spirit World. I wondered if she was there when World War II happened. "Do you guys get my point why I can't describe someone? If it's someone you like, descriptions are always good."

Keiko chuckled a bit and nodded her head. It took a while longer, but I finished curling Yukina's hair after about twenty-five minutes. And she got up and looked in the mirror with a small smile.

"I'm not done yet," I called to her from the bed. She walked back towards me.

"I like it how it is."

"You'll like it more when I'm finished," I said as she sat in front of me again. I heard the front door open and Yusuke and Kuwabara came in. I grabbed some bobby pins as I used my other hand to run my fingers through her hair, loosening the curls.

"So this is what girls do alone," Yusuke looked around at us in the room. I was doing Yukina's hair, Botan was waiting next to me with curlers in her hair so I could complete hers, Keiko had recently picked up a magazine, and Shizuru was near the open window smoking. It did seem stereotypical; it was a bit amusing, actually. I pulled some of Yukina's hair back from the front, and pinned the strands in the back so there wasn't as much hair cluttering her shoulders.

"Kuwabara," I teased quietly. "How are you feeling from the match?"

Kuwabara looked over to me, about to reply, but instead he saw Yukina. His feelings were _not_ a secret. He swooned a bit at the sight of her and I moved over as he zipped towards the bed to try and talk to her. Key word: try. He may have thought he sounded smooth and cool, but he sounded silly. I could tell Yukina enjoyed his company, though. I sat next to Botan but her hair was still too wet for me to do anything with. I remembered that I had to apologize to her for her kimono. But when I opened my mouth to talk to her, Yusuke spoke up first. I decided to talk to Botan about it and apologize later on.

I slipped off the bed, found my moccasins and put them on, and made my way out of the room. I felt awkward in large groups after what happened with the group of ex friends. I know they all aren't like that, but...

I decided to take a walk around the hotel. But I realized quickly as the elevator doors closed that it really wasn't a good idea to be alone, the thoughts and feelings swarmed over me instantly. I was angry again, furious. I kicked the elevator door out of anger, but the only result was a flaring pain in my foot. I backed up against the railing on the wall and held my foot for a minute before setting it down and applying some pressure to it.

"Walk it off or it'll stick with you," I mumbled, remembering that saying. I should remember that saying more often, really utilize it. The doors opened and I walked out into the lobby. At first I was limping in pain, but then the pain started to subside and I was walking normally once I exited the hotel. Upon exiting, I closed my eyes and focused on the perimeter of the island, looking for a beach area I could stay around.

There was one, and it was on the other side of the island. The sun was close to setting, but I didn't care. It took a good hour or so before I made it, and the sun was kissing the ocean when I arrived. I took off the moccasins and set them in the grass as I stepped forward, down the steep hill. I felt the dirt and sand under my feet when I inched closer to the shore, and I was almost happy for a second. Until I remembered why I was mad. I walked closer to where the tide rushed up on the shore and exhaled, trying to calm down. But I couldn't.

I reached into the wet sand and dirt and grabbed a chunk. Morphing it into a ball with my hands, I looked around at my surroundings. On one side of me, there was a rocky wall about six feet high, a cliff; on the other side, there was a few good yards before another wall of rock appeared. The rest of this mountain was one big cliff that separated the land from the ocean, I was standing on the only part of the island that directly connected to the ocean.

I turned around and chucked the ball at the close rocky wall, watching it shatter into little wet chunks of dirt and sand. I reached down and made another ball, and threw it. I just kept imagining my fathers face where the ball would hit, another man from the club's face would appear as I threw the ball at the rock. I kept throwing, pretending, alleviating stress and anger. It was childish and pointless, but it relieved my anger. I don't know how long I kept throwing balls at the wall, but when I snapped out of my angry trance I was breathing heavily, my cheeks were wet. I wasn't sure if it was tears or sweat... maybe both. I stared at the wall and kept thinking about my father. I reached down for another ball.

All he could do was bet _and hope they won_? I stood up, ready to throw the ball in anger.

But Hiei stood against the rocky wall. I stopped, my hand still in the air, ready to throw the ball. He didn't budge. My arm dropped, still clutching onto it. We stared at each other for a while in silence.

"You look like a raccoon," he commented finally.

I wasn't surprised I was crying.

"Ass," I replied quietly.

"You're pathetic."

"Ass," I repeated. I didn't need to find another word to describe him.

"You need to learn to get over things you can't control."

"Ass," I said. "Go away, you're not helping..."

"I told you they were disgusting," he knew I was upset about my father. "Maybe next time you'll heed my word."

I stayed silent and some more tears seeped out. I wiped them away, accidentally smudging my make up even more. He didn't understand that I was a daddy's girl, because I had a bond with my father. A bond that developed when I was young, and it only started to wane when I'd have episodes and he'd ignore me, it began to break in half when Satoshi died. But before Satoshi's death, if my father was home, sometimes... sometimes he'd be there after my episodes, he'd care for me afterwards, love me, protect me. That's what father's do, and that's what my father would do. But now, it was a continuation of how he began to act after Satoshi's death.

"Did you come here to kick me while I'm down or actually talk to me?" I mumbled.

He shrugged with a condescending smirk, and I sighed.

He didn't have anything else to say, we just stood in silence for a while. I dropped the ball and looked down at my feet and hands, they were covered in dirt and sand. I had to replace this bandage as soon as possible, I forgot I had this bandage on. I went up the steep hill to get my shoes and came back down, setting them closer to the edge of the water. I walked ankle deep into the water, and squatted, putting my hands in to wash them off. I also wiped around my eyes, cleaning up the smudged make up. I was feeling a bit better, less angry, more sad. I spent quite a bit of time washing my hands, watching the tide move back and forth, watching the sand move around my feet in the water. My reflection distorted in the water, I watched as my face curled inwards with the tide.

I remembered the tide, the way the it moved off the shore and returned again. I thought of that day with my brother, when we were at the beach. I remembered the way my father picked me up and held me, and how happy I was to see him, even though it had only been a few hours ago that I had last seen him.

Hiei was still standing against the wall, and his presence reminded me of why I was cleaning up in the first place. I stood up and shook my foot a bit to get some of the water off before putting on my shoes. I looked over to him.

"Your third eye," I started to talk and I stopped, because his eyes had a piercing glare at the mention of his other eye. But I continued anyways, "Is that a Jagan eye?"

I wasn't sure how to say it, I had only heard it once and it went right past me at the dinner table.

"The old men said what I could do was similar to what the Jagan could do," I mumbled, wondering if it was true. I fixed my hair, pulling it over my shoulders to lay on my chest. "Is that true?"

"You'll never reach the potential it has," he replied harshly.

"Good," I sighed, relieved. I didn't care about how harsh he'd said that, how defensive he was about it. Because if it got those men off my case, I'd be more than happy to give up all this mental psychic bullshit. I ruffled my hair to make my fringe fall out, separating itself from the rest of my hair. I looked under my nails and found some sand and dirt, and used my other nail to dig it out.

"Have your bandages been redone yet, or do you want me to redo them?"

As soon as I finished asking, he was gone. I felt him leave as I continued to look down at my nails and clean underneath them.

"You're so weird..." I mumbled, hoping he'd hear me if he wasn't too far away. He'd come to be around me, yet he wouldn't talk to me. And if he did talk to me, it was either blunt and quick, or rude. But I didn't always mind it much, I kind of liked it. Him being around me was nice, despite his horrible attitude. I only wished he was more sympathetic.

I lost track of time cleaning underneath my nails, and the sun had pretty much set. There was a strip of gold on the horizon, and the rest of the sky was a gradient of purples and blues. The higher up into the sky I looked, the more stars I could see. Darkness was settling in quickly.

I shouldn't have stayed this late, I should have kept track of time. Whoops.

I stood up, looking up at the stars. I didn't know if I should stay put or take my chance walking back to the hotel. I thought about it for a second. I didn't feel anyone around the area, so it would be safe enough for me to walk back. I'd avoid any unfamiliar auras, I'd be fine. I took my sweet time getting back. I felt exhausted mentally, but it wasn't hard to focus on auras and keep my guard up.

About a half hour later, I was closer to the hotel. Maybe a mile or so left. I felt a chilling wave of anxiety rush down my body.

_They're behind you._

I perked up, listening to my head. But I felt no auras. Still, I was anxious. I began to walk faster, eventually my walking turned into a jog.

_They're closing in on you._

I looked behind me, finding shadows in the darkness lurking around behind me, following me. But there were no auras, there were no other voices. I broke into a sprint. The adrenaline flowing through me kept me sprinting for longer than I normally would have lasted. I saw dark figures running up next to me, and then slowing down to lurk behind me again. They were toying with me.

_They'll get you soon._

_They're right behind you._

_Keep running or they'll catch you._

They kept toying with me as I continued to sprint. I didn't even stay on the path, I leapt over some bushes to get into the clearing in front of the hotel. I slowed down as I approached the hotel, but the shadows continued to follow me. I sprinted into the hotel and ran for the elevator, catching the attention of the rich folk who were down in the lobby. I ran towards the elevators and looked back to see if they'd enter the hotel... they did. But nobody else seemed to notice them.

I pressed all of the elevator buttons frantically. My heart was beating erratically as I waited. I watched as they inched closer to me. They stayed slow, toying with me, scaring me. I wheezed loudly, trying to breathe after that sprinting. I had never run like that before. An elevator door opened and I watched as they started sprinting towards me. Shapeless, body-less shadows moving towards me...

I ran into the elevator and kept pressing the "close" button, hoping the doors would close before they reached me. The doors started to close, inching closer to each other. They couldn't get me now. I sighed in relief and then tried to breathe. I watched the doors close... they were gone. My anxiety disappeared.

* * *

I slowly made my way to the hotel room, and knocked on the door. I didn't take my key with me. Nobody answered. I looked at the number on the door to see if I was at the right room... 1020.

I guess they were all asleep... no, it was early in the night. Maybe I didn't knock hard enough. But I didn't have the energy to knock again. I leaned against the wall next to the door and slid down to sit on the ground. For a few seconds, I thought about the shadows, they weren't real... They were from my head. My heart began to calm as I realized they were visual hallucinations. But they were so vivid...

I was mentally and physically exhausted from the day, maybe stress triggered visual hallucinations. I sighed, steadied my breathing, and closed my eyes for a minutes, but ended up drifting off to take a nap when I forgot to open them.


	18. Some Kind of Nature

I woke up in a bed and rolled over. It was bright in the room, light shone through the window. It took a minute, but I soon realized that I was in bed. I had fallen asleep outside the room. I slowly sat up, remembering what happened last night, wondering if it was a dream. The shadows... I looked around the empty room. Nobody was here. I looked around for my duffle bag and realized I was in the boy's room.

It wasn't a dream. I stayed sitting on the bed and thought about last night, thinking about the shadows. They had to be from my head; there were no auras, no other voices. They didn't harm me. My head was in sync with them, in a way. Telling me what they wanted, what they were doing. But I had never had a visual hallucination before...

I leaned back onto the bed and rolled over. I hid under the covers and tried to sleep more. But I couldn't, I was wide awake. I left the room and knocked on the girls door.

"Where were you last night?" Botan asked after she opened the door. She had left her curlers in overnight.

"I knocked on the door but nobody answered..." I replied. "I forgot my key when I left."

"Where did you stay the night?"

"I woke up in the boy's room," I shrugged, confused about how I got there. But I didn't bother to ask her since she wouldn't have known either. She didn't ask me because she knew I couldn't answer her. She let me inside and I went to the bathroom.

"Well, at least you're okay," she said as she sat down on the bed. I went to shower, and a half hour later I walked out with a towel on my hair.

I rubbed the towel on my hair a bit and sat down next to her, reaching for the curlers that were still planted in her hair. "I kept them in all night, is that bad for what you want to do?"

"No, it's better," I said honestly, setting the towel down next to me. "The curls will hold stronger."

I remembered her kimono and felt bad, "By the way, about your kimono..."

"Oh, I saw. Don't worry about it," She laughed at waved her hand at me. "I have another just like it."

"Are you sure?" I asked sadly. "I can always replace it, if you want."

"Don't worry about it, Satomi," she smiled. I'd replace it anyways.

I took out all the curlers and her hair fell in locks, bouncing. I left her fringe in the curler on top of her head since I had a specific idea for that. I messed with the curls, using my hand to curl some of them into each other so they lay properly. I grabbed some bobby pins on the table and walked back to Botan as I put the bobby pins in my mouth. Taking out the curlers, I held onto her fringe and let it lay to the side in one large curl. I used a bobby pin in the back of it to hold it in place. I sat behind her again and began dragging some hair back, and pushing it up slightly to give it a bump. I put in more bobby pins to hold the hair in place.

"Done," I said, pulling my hands away from her hand. "It's simple but..."

I watched as Botan looked at herself in the mirror and did some poses.

"Too bad the final match isn't today," she sighed. "Then this would have been put to use."

"Final match?" I was surprised. I actually had only seen one fight, and that was their... fourth, if I remembered correctly. I guess it was a good thing, they were closer to going home.

"Yeah, they made it to the finals, they'll be fighting against the Toguro Team."

Hearing that, I remembered Sakyo's plan and I became nervous. If they didn't win...

I pushed the thoughts away and tried to focus on everyone's aura, wondering where they were. They were all around different parts of the island, preparing for the finals.

"They'll be fine, Satomi!" She said without conviction. "Don't be a worry-wart."

"That's what I am," I gave a half-hearted laugh. Silence filled the room, we were both worried.

* * *

I stayed in the hotel room for the rest of the day, I didn't want to bother the boys and I didn't feel like going anywhere. I was perfectly content with sitting in bed all day doing nothing. Botan left somewhere, and I changed my bandage and lay down on a bed. In the afternoon, I was looking at a magazine Keiko had been looking at before. I looked at the celebrities hairstyles and make up, wondering if I could recreate their looks.

After flipping a page, there was a sudden shift in the atmosphere, a change in auras around the island. I got up and looked out the window. Someone I know had died. I couldn't figure who since the aura was gone, untraceable. You couldn't find something when you don't know what you're looking for. I kept my vision on the island, wondering, pondering.

But I couldn't place it. I gave up searching and sat back down on the bed and waited for the day to pass by. I continued to think about Sakyo and his plan, my father, everything. This time, the feelings associated with the thoughts weren't angry or sad. I could think about everything without getting emotional.

Night fell, and the girls were able to sleep soundly. I was the only one awake. I hadn't eaten much all day, except for the rest of the gummies that were left. I called room service, speaking quietly into the phone while the girls slept.

"We don't deliver this late," the clerk answered.

I was irritated and hungry, so I pulled a move I had never done before. Hungry times call for desperate measures, "I don't think Adrian Yue would like to know you denied his daughter a necessity like food."

There was a long silence and then the clerk sighed, "What would you like to order?"

I told them my list and then hung up, and waited about an hour for them to arrive. When they arrived, I let them in and waited as they set the food on the coffee table, leaving no room for anything else. I tipped them as they left and grabbed a bowl of Udon noodles. I turned on the CD to the lowest level possible and went to sit down on the couch next to the coffee table and ate. Gary Wright's _Dream Weaver _played softly.

"You ordered food?" I heard a voice when I was on my second plate. I turned around to see Yukina.

"Yeah... want some?"

She sat down next to me and picked up some rice and curry. She looked at the rest of the selection and noticed three more bowls of Udon noodles.

"Satomi..." she laughed a bit.

"I like noodles," I mumbled as I slurped up a long strand.

We ate in silence and I moved onto my third bowl. I could live off noodles, almost any kind of noodles. Put almost any kind of noodles in front of me and I'd become a dog: I wouldn't be able to stop eating until I either threw up or the food was gone. Dogs will normally eat all the food that's placed in front of them, and I had that characteristic with my favorite food.

"How are you feeling?" Her voice was quiet as well.

"Yukina, I'm fine," She didn't seem to believe me, "I'm fine because this will all be over soon and I can just go home."

She stayed silent, I knew she was worried about me and I appreciated her concern, but I really didn't need someone worrying over me.

"Will you sit up with us tomorrow in the seats?" She asked.

It was a weird request, but I agreed, "Sure..."

"By the way, I really liked my hair," she smiled.

"I'm glad," I said, smiling. "I love doing hair."

"Then why are you going to do something else?" I realized she was talking about me going into the medical field.

I shrugged, "I also like Biology."

"Wouldn't you rather be happy doing something you like more?"

"In the human world, you can only hope that what you like can let you survive," I said. "Well, in terms of making money. I like biology, but I like doing hair and make up much more. But it's not going to let me survive in the world."

"Shizuru seems fine," she said.

"I know. It's just..." I said, and then sighed and grinned to her. "Okay, I'll be honest. Daddy's money isn't going to be there forever."

The reality of the situation with my father and money was not me asking for money, it was him _giving_ me money. I never had to ask for money or something, I rarely _asked_ for anything from him. He'd hand me money and I'd go spend it on whatever I wanted. Other times, I'd save it. After he moved to America, he began sending me money and clothes much more often.

He wouldn't talk to me, but I'd see money flowing in, presents and boxes. I was daddy's spoiled little princess and I always would be. But I knew I couldn't count on daddy's money my whole life, so I had to do something with myself. The medical field offered me the security of a job and a steady, high pay.

I was realistic with money, not materialistic. I didn't value my material possessions more than I did my friends or family; if I didn't have any of the clothes in my closet I wouldn't care. I liked doing my hair and make up because it was something fun and a pastime, a hobby, something I enjoyed. I didn't spend my life wanting the new outfit in style, saying I'd die if I didn't have it. That's why, after a while, my father constantly showering me with gifts didn't make up for his absence.

I finished the last three bowls in silence and leaned back on the couch in pain. My stomach was full and there was still food to go. Yukina finished her plate and set it next to the five empty bowls I had piled up. Yukina gave me a strange, curious look and laughed a bit. I tried getting up to eat more but I couldn't move, I was too full. I leaned back again on the couch and felt tired. Yukina cleaned up as I fell asleep on the couch.

* * *

I heard a door close and opened my eyes. There was light shining through the window... and I really had to use the bathroom, oh, my god. I got up and raced to the bathroom.

"Never again," I told myself after I flushed the toilet and washed my hands.

But I knew I'd do it again soon, I'd order a bunch of food and eat it all and repeat this whole process.

I showered and went to change, and when I exited the bathroom in my towel, I realized nobody was in the room. I didn't think much of it as I got changed into some dark grey leggings and a long, pink, wool sweater that stopped mid-thigh and at my elbows. The shirt rested on the edge of my shoulders, and I adjusted my grey bra strap to lay nicely since it was going to be seen. I dried my hair with the towel and scrunched it with some hair mousse and did my make up.

For some reason, twisting my mascara closed was what prompted my realization of why nobody was here. They were at the match. I dropped the mascara as I ran out to put on the moccasins and left. These shoes weren't made for running, they were meant to be like slippers. But I was in too much of a hurry to find something that matched better. As I approached the dome, I found I'd missed a match since the audience was cheering and hollering. That meant one of the boys lost. I hoped whoever lost was still alive as I entered the dome and followed Yukina's aura.

Running had dried my hair, and given it a poofy, 80's look. I remembered Yukina's request for me to sit with them during this match, but I felt a bit weird coming out into the seats because I had never been up here before. Luckily, I dealt with it fine. The anxiety I had wasn't crippling, I could breathe and focus, despite my heart racing as I walked past all the demons. I made my way to sit next to the girls. I noticed a blue ogre sitting next to them, talking to them. He seemed friendly.

"Oh, sleeping beauty awakened!" Botan said, the girls turned to see me.

"You can really put food away, girl," Shizuru said, taking her cigarette out of her mouth.

"That was nothing," I laughed awkwardly as I sat down next to Shizuru.

I could put away ten times my weight if I tried. I'd accidentally throw it up afterwards, but I'd put it away first. I looked down at the arena, we were a bit close to the wall, but safe enough away in case damage were to head towards the seats. I became angry, because I saw my father standing next to Sakyo. I thought my father had taken out his joint ownership from that team.

"What did I miss?" I asked, scared, as I saw Kurama limping.

"Kurama lost the match on a technicality," Botan said with dismay.

I sighed, relieved that at least he didn't die in the process of fighting. I watched as Hiei stepped up to fight, and Juri's voice rang throughout the stadium, announcing the fight. I looked over to the Toguro Team and found my father standing next to Sakyo and the Toguro brothers. The only thing that brought me out of my angry trance was the ogre's voice.

"This is your opportunity, Hiei! Hit him while he's down!"

"Hiei's an honorable person and wouldn't do something like that, it's too beneath him," Botan chided the ogre.

"I bet you'd attack a man with his back turned to you as well, wouldn't you?" Shizuru said, flicking the ashes from her cigarette.

"Yeah, that's like cheating," Keiko chimed in.

With each of their comments, the ogre shrunk back from them with an ashamed smile on his face.

"Hey, why's Koenma down there?" I asked. But the girls ignored me. Genkai wasn't there either.

I watched as Hiei's opponent stripped himself of his armor and a green aura emitted from his body. His opponent wasn't fast, but he was strong. I watched as Hiei controlled fire as his main weapon, and I was a bit shocked. I didn't know why I kept letting everything surprise me when I didn't know much about any of their fighting techniques.

But what his opponent was emitting wasn't an aura, it was... a weapon. Maybe it was an aura. This was so strange. I watched with fascination as Hiei avoided the green energy, moving around the arena to avoid it. He eventually brought the attack straight back to his opponent, taking him down with his own attack. He crashed into the arena, the impact created a bright light that engulfed the dome, blinding many members from the audience. I closed my eyes and waited for the light to disappear.

I couldn't see for a while, but when my vision refocused I saw Hiei unraveling the bandages on his arm. Dark flames soon engulfed Hiei's arm. A purplish-black aura swarmed over the arena. Nothing really processed as I mindlessly watched a large, black, flame dragon ram into Hiei's opponent and crash through the stadium walls, taking him outside.

The sword was normal, the flames were understandable in terms of the circumstances because fire was real... but the dragon...

I shook my head and pinched my thigh, wondering if I was hallucinating or dreaming. But it was real.

I couldn't see what was happening to Hiei's opponent, but the dragon suddenly turned directions and headed for Hiei. It crashed into him, engulfing him. Hiei disappeared and everything calmed down, and Bui stepped to the center of the arena... well, what was left of it anyways. Juri almost declared Bui the winner, but a black and white flame combusted randomly, and Hiei reappeared.

I slapped my hand to my forehead. The laws of physics didn't apply to life anymore, but I had to learn to accept this now since I had a feeling this was only the beginning of things I've never seen before... I looked around at the girls who were taking this just fine, as if it was something they'd seen before or expected.

"Am I the only one who's weirded out by this?" I mumbled, watching the continuation of the fight. I was used to solid facts, reality, cause and effect. I'm sure cause and effect was present here but... this was so strange. It was just as weird as that bird man Hiei had fought the last match. Maybe it wasn't disgusting like that man, but it was definitely weird.

I watched as Bui was knocked across the arena into the seats, and was counted out in ten. Hiei won. I was relieved, since he seemed unharmed. I didn't have to worry about whether or not he'd be alive at the end of the match. I turned my attention to my father.

I waited as they quickly repaired the platform, and I stared my father down. He knew I was looking at him, because he was fidgeting nervously and looking up towards where I sat. He knew I was here, watching him. I didn't stop staring until the platform was repaired, and then I turned to watch Kuwabara fight. Juri's voice pulled me out of my angry trance.

I watched as that creep that held onto the larger Toguro's back walked up onto the arena. The fight began and Kuwabara charged at him, slicing at him with his spirit sword, but the creep only regenerated his body, forming it back together easily and without pain. He could move his vital organs anywhere he pleased so long as they were within the confines of his body. I watched as he extended his fingers to pierce through Kuwabara's chest, I felt lightheaded, overwhelmed at the sight of blood. Even though I wasn't exactly _friends_ with Kuwabara... still.

"Someone stop him!" Yukina yelled. But there was nothing we could do.

I watched as the creep morphed his hand to resemble a younger Genkai, and then I realized what had happened. It was her aura that I felt disappear. I watched as Kuwabara stood up, his energy grew stronger, his aura became harsher. I actually shrunk back in my seat because of how immense and angry his aura was. He really liked Genkai. But the creep struck into Kuwabara's chest with his extending arm. Yukina shot up to her feet in shock, but I tugged on her sleeve to let her know he was fine. His aura protected him...

I looked up to Yukina, who was still standing. I tugged on her sleeve again and she sat down. She was worried for him, more worried for him than anyone else down there. I squeezed her arm for comfort and she snapped out of her dazed, worried look, and turned to face me. She gave me a shaky smile.

I wondered if this was how she saw me when she was worried about me. She was scared and worried, and I couldn't help but want to comfort her. But my whole life, I was the one that received comfort. I never had to comfort someone else, I didn't know what to do.

"There's no way this guy can be defeated is there..." Keiko sighed sadly as she watched the creep reconnect.

"Don't say that..." Botan mumbled shakily.

It was really looking grim for Kuwabara right now.

But, for once, Kuwabara turned the fight around.

"Look, Yukina!" I said as she snapped out of her worried daze.

"It looks like Kuwabara shaped his sword into something like a tennis racket," Koto announced.

I watched as Kuwabara slammed his new spirit fly swatter down onto the regenerating Toguro, and there was nothing left of him. Sighs of relief from the girls flooded around me as the stadium was loud with an uproar of disapproval. I watched as Kuwabara walked off the stadium and walked towards Yusuke slowly. I could feel the anger. I was confused, but I realized quickly why he was angry.

Genkai had passed away. Toguro killed her... And Yusuke didn't say anything. I had a feeling Kurama and Hiei knew she passed away as well. Whether or not Yusuke told them or they found out on their own was the main reason why Kuwabara was so angry.

They all knew, but nobody told him. I watched Kuwabara sucker punch Yusuke in the face and I wanted to pay attention to them, to see what would happen, but the drama was short lived. I watched as my father and Sakyo walked up to the center of the platform, side by side. I saw Shizuru perk up beside me at the sight of Sakyo. She knew him, or at least... talked to him once.

I watched as my father and Sakyo stood side by side. "I'd like to place one last bet before the fourth match begins."

That bastard. What was he doing up there with him? Anger boiled from my stomach and reached my chest, and I was beginning to shake.

"Of course, as being the team owners, we will wager on Toguro to win," Sakyo continued. I shot up out of my seat. My dad made such a big deal about leaving the joint owner ship... and he was still an owner?

"But with the particular stakes," Sakyo continued. "We offer our lives."

"_You bastard!_" My shriek brought the attention of demons and apparitions to our small group, and I ran down the steps towards the wall.

"Satomi!" Botan tried grabbing onto me but she wasn't fast enough. "Get back here, you can't go onto the arena!"

"What we are proposing in essence, is that whoever wins this match will earn two points," Sakyo spoke calmly. He hadn't heard me. My father stood next to him calmly, not fidgeting anymore. He seemed relieved. "Of course, this can only work if the Urameshi Team's owner and the committee agree to these terms."

I made it to the wall, lifted myself onto it, and jumped over. I fell onto my hands and knees, the dirt beneath me threatened to scrape through my leggings, but they were thick enough to withstand the impact. I quickly got up and started walking towards the ring, ignoring the pain in my knees and the palms of my hands.

That bastard. That piece of shit father.

"Yeah, I'll do it," I heard Koenma agree as I stepped closer to the ring. "I accept your challenge. I'll place my life on Yusuke to win."

My hands were balled into fists, I could feel my nails cutting into my skin as I stepped closer to the ring.

"What kind of father are you?" I yelled as I got closer.

I was livid, my body shook furiously as I walked towards him. I stayed off the ring and on the dirt to not get pulled out by staff or any other referee. My father looked down at me from the ring with calmed, saddened eyes, like he was waiting for this all along. The committee's agreement to Sakyo's terms rang throughout the stadium. There was going to be a ten minute break to allow for last minute bets.

I watched as Sakyo handed Juri the mic and stepped off the ring. My father looked at me for a second and turned away from me, following Sakyo. Oh, no he didn't. I followed him, Toguro waited for me to step ahead of him before he followed Sakyo and my father. I could hear Yusuke and Kuwabara yelling to me, asking me where I was going. But I didn't respond.

If I said anything I'd lash out my anger onto them. They didn't need to worry about me. Sakyo and my father parted separate ways once they walked into the hallway, and I followed my father. We walked for at least ten minutes. Eventually, my father and I turned to some stairs and headed downstairs.

Once he stepped off the stairs, he stopped walking. He kept his back turned to me, waiting for me to talk. I held onto the railing as I was still on the stairs, and I was shaking so hard from anger... I needed something to keep me standing because I might have ended up falling down.

I squeaked, "Where's my dad?"

He turned around to face me as if to say "He's right here."

"No," I replied to his implication. "You're not my dad... My dad loved me and cared for me, even if he wasn't always able to show it. Now you're just throwing your life away when you don't even need to. What, you want to leave me with mother?"

There was a reason I referred to Shiori as Mom and distanced myself from my biological mother.

"Speaking of her, what about mother?" I knew my father loved her. If he loved anyone more than his children, it was his wife. "You just want to leave her?"

He stayed quiet as the stadium rumbled. Toguro and Yusuke had started their fight. I waited for a response from my father, but he stayed silent. I was so tempted to pry into his head, but I couldn't. I just wanted him to be honest with me, and for some reason he couldn't.

"Fine. Then tell me this," I said. "Just one thing."

He looked up to meet my eyes, the same eyes as his...

"Why are you betting your life when you don't need to? Sakyo counted as the fifth member, you didn't need to get in on the bet."

"I've done too much," his tone was low and sullen.

A silent staring match ensued, but eventually, as if signaled by another rumble of the stadium, he turned around and continued to walk down the hallway. I watched as he drifted farther away from me, unsure of why he agreed to the bet if he wanted to die. Why wouldn't he just kill himself if he wanted to end his life so badly? Why jump into a bet?

I turned around and massaged my temples as I slowly made my way back up the stairs. I made turns of the hallways, trying to find my way back to the seats. All the while I was upset, I had to stop caring about him. I had to. He didn't care about me, why should I care about him?

Because he's my father, my daddy. As much as he's changed I still saw him as my loving father. I couldn't sever the bond I had with him from when I was younger. I came closer to the exit of the hallway, and saw a bright blue light forming from outside in the arena.

As I inched closer to the exit, I heard Yusuke's voice ring out, "Spirit Gun!"

A large ray of blue light emitted from Yusuke's hand and shot into Toguro. I was astonished at the power and force of the blue light. But I realized I was in a dangerous position: Toguro's back was turned to me. When he began to falter, when he couldn't hold off the ray any longer, he shot backwards towards my direction.

I ran back in the direction I came from in the hallway, sprinting, but I wasn't fast enough. The ground shook violently as Toguro's body crashed through the walls. The ceiling and walls began crumbling, debris began falling around me. I tried avoiding it, but I was caught in the trail of destruction Toguro's body had left behind. I felt a sharp pain on my head, my face became wet with blood as I dropped to the ground, unconscious.


	19. Collapsing At Your Doorstep

**A/N:** I'm very sad because I only have the anime up to the Dark Tournament Saga. And Netflix doesn't have YYH (why am I paying 8$ a month when I dont get shows I want to watch? Anyways). I've already pre-written everything, covered all the Saga's I wanted. I ended up going with the manga version for the following chapters that cover both the CB Saga and the Three Kings. I'm aware the manga and anime have differences, but the differences haven't proven to hinder this story's development. So after this chapter, it basically follows the manga.

That's a heads up in case you all were more familiar with the anime and not the manga, and things seemed off to you.

Anyways, hope you all enjoy this chapter and those to come!

* * *

I watched the man and woman on the TV screen converse, back then I didn't realize that this scene was where the woman confessed her love to him. I was six years old and sitting on my fathers lap with a bowl of ice cream, we were on the couch in the living room. I wasn't paying much attention to the dialogue, I was watching them move, cry, and walk away.

Satoshi was in the kitchen with my mother, talking about what high school he should go to, even though he was only twelve. It was a year or so away before he'd get into high school, but school was always a go to conversation for my brother and mother. Sometimes they even talked about college. School was pretty much all they talked about. I paid attention to their conversation for a second as I finished my ice cream and then got bored. I looked up to my father, who turned away from the screen to smile down at me.

"More!" I smiled, holding the bowl out.

"I already sneaked the second bowl past your mother, pretending it was for me," he laughed. "We don't want to make mommy suspicious, do we?"

I pouted a bit because I hated only being allowed one bowl of ice cream. Then he took the bowl from me and held onto me as he leaned over to set the bowl on the coffee table that stood in front of the couch we sat on. When he sat up straight again, he continued to hold onto me and I leaned my head against his chest as we watched the end movie. I had ignored so much of the dialogue that I didn't know what was happening now.

"Does he not like her back?" I asked, watching the woman cry.

"Sadly," my father replied.

"Why doesn't he like her back?"

He shrugged, "Some people just don't always feel the same way about you that you feel about them."

"That's sad."

"But that means they aren't the right person for you, and you'll find that right person later on."

"What if you never find that person?"

"You will."

"Well, how do I know when? I don't wanna like someone just to get hurt."

He chuckled a bit. I realized now that he was always a bit realistic in his advice, "You won't know, you just keep taking chances."

"That's dumb, I wouldn't wanna keep getting hurt." I looked at the screen and saw how sad the woman looked, I didn't want to end up looking like that. I didn't want to end up feeling like that. "I want to know so I don't have to go through that."

"Getting hurt makes you stronger."

I turned back to the movie and watched as the credits rolled. It wasn't a happy ending, and he didn't love her back. I thought about it for a minute as my father picked me up.

"Come on, the pretzel's should be done," he said and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me into the kitchen. The fabric of his white, button up shirt was soft against my cheek, comforting and safe. It smelled of him, a mixture of cologne and a new car smell.

My mother came up to us when we entered the kitchen, and kissed my father on the cheek and smiled down at me. She was always a bit distant from me, but I never noticed it much, especially since I would get so much attention from my father. That would soon change when he'd get a promotion, when he'd ask Shiori to watch over me and Satoshi.

At that point, neither of my parents would be around often. My mother would be working crazy hours at the hospital and my father would be too busy to pay attention to us. He'd be working on a project at the office late at night, or he'd be out with his coworkers, establishing connections and networks with other businesses. But now, I was six years old and I didn't understand the concept of a job or money or any of the sorts. All I knew is that my parents were gone for a while but they'd come back and be with me sooner or later.

I looked over to Satoshi, who was doing homework at the dinner table. I let go of my father and asked to be set down, so he set me on the ground and I walked over to Satoshi and waited for him to acknowledge me. I tapped on his book to grab his attention and he looked up at me, snapping out of his train of thought. I gave him a big grin, which always made him laugh since I had just lost one of my baby teeth. I always smiled extra big for him, just to see him laugh.

My plan worked, and he laughed as he set his pencil down on the book. I wrapped my arms around his slim frame for a hug. He hugged back tightly, and didn't let go for a while. I realized this was a few months before the fight I got into with the boy from school. I didn't understand the tight hug at the time, but now I did. Something was wrong at school. Why he chose me to hug that tightly, I still don't know, but remembering this made me happy. Because at one point, he did love me as his sister. I wasn't a freak.

"They're ready," my father said as I watched him put on some oven mitts to take out a tray from the oven. Satoshi let go of me to pay attention to what my father was talking about. He remembered that he watched my mother make something, his face went from curious to interested in a split second. He was just like me in one way: he loved food.

"What are those?" Satoshi asked, trying to see the pretzels from where he sat. "Pretzels?"

"Home-made by your lovely mom," he smiled to her and she blushed. They were still in love. "I used to make these when I was a kid. I worked a theatre when I was a bit older than you, Satoshi. We served them all the time. I gave the instructions to your mother and they seem to have turned out perfect."

"Where at? Where did you work at?" I asked.

"A movie theater in a little state called Oregon," my father set the tray of pretzels down on the counter and grabbed some plates from the cupboards that hung above his head on the wall. My mother grabbed some stuff from the fridge and the pantry.

"And I'd eat one on my shift for lunch, every time I worked," he said and then laughed. "Of course, that was horrible for my health. But this is probably my favorite snack. I still wake up in the middle of the night with cravings sometimes."

My mother handed him a stick of butter and set down a bottle of salt and another of cinnamon.

"What do you want?" My father asked us as he rubbed the stick of butter on the pretzel. The butter melted instantly at the touch of the pretzel, giving it an appealing shine.

I yelled for salt as Satoshi asked for cinnamon, and moments later my father set our orders in front of us. Satoshi and I dug in, and we ate slowly, trying to savor the great taste. It was chewy with a hint of crisp on the outer shell. I watched as my father poured cinnamon on his and my mother chose salt, and we sat at the table, eating and talking. My mother and brother mainly talked to each other, while I tried to ask my dad questions about jobs.

I didn't think much of it now, but remembering it... it was noticeable my parents played favorites. My parents always went to talk to their favorite child, often dismissing the other. Neither Satoshi or I noticed it back then, because we were receiving attention from our parent, and when we interacted with the other, it wasn't cold or dismissing. It wasn't as if the other parent hated the child, they simply loved their favorite child more.

"What's your job?" I asked, chewing with my mouth open. He mimicked me chewing and then moo'd like a cow.

"Only cows chew with their mouths open," he said and then moo'd again.

"No, horses do it too," I huffed, and then I tried neighing. But it sounded nothing like a horse, more like an injured cat, and my father laughed.

"So are you a horse or a cow?"

"A horse," I replied and took another bite of the pretzel. I remembered to chew with my mouth closed. "Cow's are ugly. Princesses aren't ugly."

"That's right, princesses are always beautiful," he chuckled.

I turned to listen to my mother and brother's conversation, they were talking about college now.

"Harvard Law," my mother offered. She wanted us to go to Harvard because that's where my father went.

"Berkeley Law," he replied. "Boalt Hall."

"Harvard has a better reputation."

"Berkeley is becoming known as a public ivy league."

"You're twelve," I cut in. I didn't understand why he was talking about college when he was twelve.

"And you're six," he sassed as he stuck his tongue out at me. "Mind your own business, pip squeak."

"Loser," I retorted.

Satoshi was about to say something when my mother interrupted us, "You've never even seen Berkeley."

"I've never seen Harvard either," my brother rolled his bright green eyes as he turned to face my mother.

"What about that other one," she said and turned to my dad. "Adrian, honey, what's the one in Conne..."

She had trouble saying it, and my father corrected her, "Connecticut. That's Yale."

"Berkeley," my brother said simply as he finished his pretzel, and my mother dropped the subject. This conversation happened again many times throughout the years. The reason why both Satoshi and I wanted to go to college in America was because my father talked about how great it was. He had shown me pictures of his time in college, he got his bachelor's in business at UC Berkeley and his master's at Harvard, where he was given an internship here in Japan.

We continued to eat, and stayed at the dinner table even when we all finished. My mother and father talked some, but I was too sleepy to talk to Satoshi about anything. It was getting late, and it was noticeable to my father that I was getting tired. My father got up, taking his and my plate to the sink.

"Come on, Princess Satomi," my father said as he left the kitchen. I remember I had asked him to address me as Princess Satomi around my mother and he played along sometimes. I was my father's princess, so I should be my mother's as well. He stuck his hand out behind him as he walked away, waiting for me to run and take his hand, "You've got school bright and early tomorrow."

I got off my chair, turned to Satoshi and hugged him again, he hugged back, just as tight as before. When Satoshi let go of me, I turned to my mother and gave her a hug, she rubbed my back and I let go. I ran to catch up with my father. I stopped running as I got up next to him in the hallway and grabbed his hand. He stopped walking to pick me up again, and carried me up the stairs.

We came to my bedroom and he set me on my bed. I started jumping on it for a while until he grabbed me mid air. He gave me a weird grin, because I knew I could only get away with jumping on the bed when he was the one tucking me in. I took advantage of the simple ways my father spoiled me. He set me down and I made my way underneath the covers. He began to tuck me into bed.

"I'm never gonna fall in love with someone," I said seriously as he pulled the covers over my body. That movie was like a revelation to me because I didn't want to cry like that over someone. "It looks so dumb and tiring."

"That's good," my father chuckled. "Besides, you only need one man in your life."

"Who?"

"Me," he said as he kissed my forehead.

"But what about Satoshi?"

"Well... I'm more special," he joked as he winked at me.

* * *

_And his father always tucked him in bed at night._

_And was always there to do it._

* * *

I opened my eyes as I heard another crash, and woke up in a small puddle of blood around my head, it was roughly the size of my palm. I lost quite a bit of blood, my hair soaked up quite a bit. My vision was blurry and unfocused, part of my face was soaked with blood as well. I put my hand on my head, where it hurt, and felt how it was soaked and raw, stinging at my touch. It felt gross since my hair hadn't come out, it was just a gash in my head.

I tried standing up, but couldn't. I pushed my torso up with my arms, and my shoulder cracked. The strength in my arm disappeared and I fell face first to the ground. My shoulder was numb, a feeling of pins and needles, almost like static. I lifted my head up, my nose burned with pain from the impact. I used my forearm to wipe some of the blood off my face.

Confused and dizzy, I looked around in a dazed fashion, wondering why I wasn't in bed. My daddy had just tucked me in, just kissed me goodnight. Why was I here? I rolled over to look behind me, finding a pile of debris that filled up to the ceiling. The ground shook underneath me. Oh, wait... I wasn't at home. I looked down at my grown body, surprised. I wasn't six, I was fifteen. Things were making sense again, and I rolled back over on my stomach to try and get up.

Where was I again?

Shaking. The place was shaking. Shaking... stadium. Shaking stadium...

Everything came back.

I looked around as the stadium shook violently, and searched for presences. Toguro's presence was gone. Slowly, I stood up. My legs were weak and my head was too heavy... I made it to the wall for support before I collapsed. All my weight was put onto my arm to keep me balanced, and I felt my shoulder crack again. It was still hard to stand, though, since the stadium's walls were shaking. But I leaned on the wall for support as I made my way down the hallway, watching the walls and ceiling crack and break, on the verge of dropping on me. Luckily, I moved out of the way in time as a chunk of wall fell over. I focused on everyone's auras, and found that they had left the arena and were inside the stadium near the entrance.

I had missed Yusuke's match.

Yusuke.

Yusuke was alive. That meant he won. That meant...

I focused on my father's aura. He was standing a floor beneath me in a room with Sakyo. I could see a timer behind him, counting down. Four minutes. This place was going to blow in four minutes, and I couldn't get out. I wouldn't be able to run fast enough to get out of here in time. I couldn't run, I could barely walk, so why bother...

I dragged my shoulder on the wall, putting my body weight on it for support as I started walking in the direction of my father. I started to forgive him on the way to the staircase. That was my dad, and he messed up.

But he was my daddy.

I'd forgive him for ignoring me when I had episodes, I'd forgive him for thinking material possessions counted as love when he wasn't around, I'd forgive him for not being home all the time, I'd forgive him for leaving to America so easily without me, I'd forgive him for hiding the Club from me, I'd forgive him for choosing the Club over me. Because he was my dad and I wasn't going to make it out alive and neither was he. Why harbor hatred when I was just going to die anyways? My last thoughts should be happy ones, right? I guess when you die, the only thing you can hope is that you're happy. And that's all I wanted right now, to be happy with my father.

I wondered if there was a heaven as I stepped onto the staircase. I wondered if there was anything at all after death. If there was, maybe I'd see Satoshi there. Hopefully, he'd be happy to see me.

"You have to be the most foolish human I've ever met," I heard.

I felt an arm wrap around my waist, and I was lifted off the ground, over Hiei's shoulder. He started moving, evading the falling chunks of ceiling that began to crumble.

"No," I said frantically. "Put me down! Let me go!"

I started kicking my legs in an attempt to make it harder for him to hold onto me and move through the crumbling structure. He managed just fine regardless of my weight shifting around in his hold.

"Just leave me!" I cried. My dad... I could feel him, sad, and despite being next to Sakyo, alone. I kept yelling at Hiei to put me down, but he didn't listen. Out of all the times he could've cared, he chose now, when I didn't want him to care.

We came to the main entrance of the dome. There was a crowd of demons. The boy's were there with all the girls... except Shizuru and Koenma. I was worried, but I had someone more personal to worry about. I focused on my father's aura, and tried talking to him telepathically. I didn't think I could do it, but I had to try. I just kept repeating how sorry I was and how much I loved him. I kept pushing mentally, hoping it'd reach him, hoping he'd hear it. Hiei set me down when we reached the group, and I fell to the ground, dizzy and lightheaded.

"Satomi, what happened?!" Botan said, seeing my bloody figure

Kuwabara helped me stand up. "Are you okay?"

"Let her stand and she'll run back to her father," Hiei said. "You want her to go down with him and Sakyo?"

Kuwabara stopped helping me for a second, pondering. It wasn't as if I could really move anyways.

"Satomi," I heard Kurama say as I tried to stand up on my own. He wanted me to stay put, but he understood the relationship I had with my father.

I was dizzy from the lack of blood in my body, but I managed to look over and see Kurama holding Yusuke up. My head felt heavy, loose, and felt like it was full of water. My head felt like it weighed twice as much as I did. Every time I moved, my head would droop, trying to fall to the ground. Yukina came next to me, kneeling down beside me. She tried helping me stand up.

"I'll blast through this," I heard Yusuke say. As I stood up shakily with Yukina's help, I turned around to find a large boulder blocking the exit.

"You have no strength, Yusuke..." Kurama said with dismay.

I pried into my father's head as the counter slowly ticked away, and I pushed again, trying to tell him I loved him, that I was sorry. I didn't even know if this was working; he wasn't responding, he was expressionless. I didn't have telepathic powers like Hiei, but I kept trying.

Suddenly, the entrance was cleared. I watched as debris from the blocked entrance flew past me. I assumed it was some of the team members from the Tournament, because Yusuke gave them a smile when he saw them and I hadn't seen them at all when we were in the hotel. I tried to move into the large crowd that started pushing towards the entrance in a hope to get lost, but Yukina had grabbed onto my forearm and tried to keep me with the group.

I ignored her and tried reaching my father again, hoping I could use telepathy. But if I was really getting through to him, he didn't care. I tried staying in the stadium as people passed, but I felt Yukina begin to drag me outside with them. I couldn't protest because I was so dizzy and weak; I wanted more than anything to stay in the stadium with my father. But I was slowing her down, we had thirty seconds left. I yanked my arm away from her and felt someone else's harsh grip on my wrist yank me towards the exit.

"Don't be useless," he growled.

Lazily, I looked over to meet Hiei's eyes. He was angry at me for endangering his sister. And something in my head, as dizzy and lightheaded as I was... something in my head clicked. Useless. I thought about what my father would want. I knew why he jumped in the bet now, because he was a man of his word. My father's death would be pointless if I stayed in the stadium with him to die. And as much as I didn't want to lose my father, it was inevitable now. The least I could do was not let his death be a waste.

I looked past Hiei to see Yukina, and I began walking as fast as I could towards the exit. I stumbled a bit, especially when I yanked my arm from Hiei's grip. But Yukina came up next to me to help me stand up straight as we moved out of the stadium. We had to run, and I was faltering, I couldn't move fast for long. We had to reach a safe distance soon before I collapsed. Blood was pumping around my body, and I was starting to black out because of how much blood I was losing, how much blood I had already lost. I felt Hiei pick me up as I was running, and I felt even worse than before as blood coursed through my veins.

The black out was coming, but when we reached a safe distance, Hiei set me down. I turned around, he gripped my arm to help me stand up straight, but it was hard with little feeling in my legs. I leaned on him as my vision was became worse with each second; everything was getting darker, surrounded by a black haze. I noticed Shizuru wasn't with us yet. Yukina crowded me, setting her palm over my head wound. I felt a rush of relief and softness, but the darkness lingered in my vision.

I heard the countdown announcement from the stadium. Five seconds.

I looked at the stadium crumble, too numb to care about anyone else that may have been trapped in there.

My legs were weak and I couldn't stand much longer, but I ignored that. I didn't stop watching over my father and his aura. Shizuru, Koenma, and the blue ogre I met inside the stadium came running out at the last second.

Images started flashing through my head as I was connected to my father's thoughts. Memories in no chronological order. Payments, our old home, mother, Satoshi, our old backyard, a small glass of whiskey, me jumping on my bed as a child, Satoshi being picked up from school as a child, managers, coworkers, a movie theater, Grandma Jeanne when she was younger, a 1964 Ford Mustang, a blonde haired-blue eyed ex girlfriend laying shirtless in the back seat, mother in her wedding dress, my father cradling my infant body in the hospital, him singing to my mother in the backyard, and...

As the building exploded and his aura disappeared, I saw one last, horrible, despicable memory that lasted an eternity in my mind... followed by a brief, now unwanted, reply in my head that took away the last strength in my legs as darkness consumed.

_I love you too, Princess._


	20. Drugstore Diet

I didn't look down at my arm, I didn't like seeing IV's...

They made my stomach queasy, and my arm tensed every time I remembered the IV was there, making me more uncomfortable. It had been a few weeks since we returned from the Island. I was dealing with my father's death much better now. After the stadium collapsed, I passed out.

When I woke up I didn't respond to anyone, I had completely shut down. I had to be carried because I couldn't bring myself move. Kuwabara offered to carry me, and I never got a chance to thank him. Yukina also healed my head wound that I received during Yusuke's match while I was unresponsive, and Hiei told me Kurama made some sort of plant vile to help my body reproduce the blood I lost.

After I returned home, I didn't eat. I hadn't eaten much since, and that was the reason I was in the hospital. Well, one of the reasons I was in the hospital. I glared at the door and checked the presences throughout the hospital, making sure my mother had left.

Yesterday, my mother flew over to Japan to break the bad news to me that my father had died in a plane crash on his way back from his business trip in China. Apparently one of my father's coworkers in the corporation called her. Why did he take weeks to tell her? I wasn't sure. She came over sobbing uncontrollably and asked me to come to America with her. That's when the shit hit the fan and I ended up in here.

* * *

_Yesterday._

I had my moments of being unresponsive, remembering the last memory I had seen from my father, but I was active physically and was coming out of it. I actually wanted to call in and revoke my leave of absence for school, but it would have been pointless because I had already completed the rest of the years work and the new school year would be starting in Spring. So I stayed home and often kept quiet.

Hiei sat on my window sill as if it was his own. He was here at my apartment often, I assumed he had nowhere else to go. Even if he had someplace to go, I didn't mind him staying and I never mentioned how often he stayed. I didn't question his presence because his presence was nice, and I didn't want him to leave. Him being there was wonderful, actually. Even if he didn't show any signs of comfort about my father's death, his presence was very nice to have around. We occasionally talked, it was usually his snarky remarks about TV shows I chose to watch or about my cooking. I wasn't a chef, but I knew how to make something edible. I mean, I had to live off the food I cooked, so I had to learn_ some_ sort of tricks to make the food taste good.

Kurama would often come over after school, just to be around me, give me another presence so I wasn't alone. Hiei would often take off somewhere, and it was often when Kurama would come over. I liked Kurama being around me and he would talk to me. I may not have replied or listened all the time, but another voice, another presence was nice. We usually just sat down and watched TV. He'd often ask me if I ate, and I'd nod absentmindedly.

I also learned how to control my voices, sometimes they'd seep through, but not often. I could construct a barrier in my head, blocking off all voices. Now my schizophrenia wasn't a hindrance. I did have urges, ambivalence, my head silently egging me to do something, a desire, but voices weren't a problem anymore. The urges were not bad. Even though I couldn't control them the way I could the voices, I didn't mind it much.

Today, Kurama didn't come over. It was just Hiei and I.

I sat a plate of food down on the table for him and went into my room.

"There's lunch if you're hungry," I said as I sat down on the chair in front of my desk.

He looked over to me curiously, "You haven't eaten."

"Not hungry," I replied and tapped my pencil on the desk absentmindedly, succumbing to the pointless urge of my head.

I looked over to the folded up piece of paper next to the keyboard on my desk. My brother's poem. It didn't hurt to look at anymore, maybe because I was still a bit numb from my father, or maybe I had grown to accept the reality of the poem and his death.

"You haven't eaten in a week," he noted. Had it been that long? How long had it really been? The days kind of muddled together now. "I shouldn't have to remind you that humans need food to survive."

I shrugged, "I'm just not hungry."

I wasn't lying, I really wasn't hungry. He looked at me before leaving into the living room, and I spent my free time doodling on a piece of paper on my desk. Some time passed and he returned to my room.

"You eat fast," I noted, facing the paper I was drawing on.

"You haven't been applying yourself," he said suddenly.

I looked at him, curious, wondering what he meant. I had been so focused on a small doodle I was drawing that I didn't feel a presence step up to my front door. The door bell had taken me by surprise, I jumped in my chair a bit as it rang throughout the apartment. My phone started to buzz and I saw the caller ID: "Suzumi."

"Oh, it's my mother," I groaned and felt her aura from behind the front door. I didn't want to see her. "That's what you meant."

"Hm, it'll be interesting to see your mother," he said with amusement.

I looked at him curiously, wondering what he meant by "interesting." My father's position in the Black Black Club probably got him wondering if anything was up with my mother.

"So, what... you're going to stay?" I looked up at him from my desk, whispering as if my mother could hear me from behind two doors. He stayed put, and I began to wonder where his sudden amusement came from. "I'd leave if I were you... I can smell the shit storm brewing from behind the front door."

"Something other than those yellow cartoon figures will be fine for entertainment," he said, referring to the Simpsons, as he watched me get up from my chair.

He didn't like my choice in TV shows. In fact, I don't think he liked much of anything I liked. At least, he didn't show it. I closed the door behind me as I exited my room. It'd be better if my mother didn't know someone else was here, let alone a strange boy who didn't exactly dress like other humans. I mentally tried to prepare myself for the shit storm my dramatic mother was about to bring, I already knew what it was about.

I took my time getting to the door and she started banging on it. I opened the door and she rushed in, falling onto me, hugging me. Her usually perky face was swollen from sobbing, her eyes red and tired. She had actually flown here looking like this. I looked over to the table and found the half eaten meal. I was glad I only cooked for him, it'd be awkward to have two plates out.

"Satomi," she sobbed, her voice cracking, drawing my attention back towards her. "Your father..."

I closed the door and tried acting scared and worried, it wasn't working at first so I just remembered seeing my father alone with Sakyo underneath the stadium. My eyes started to water. I was still both confused and torn about my father's death, especially after the last, horrid memory I saw from his head. Part of me was glad he killed himself since he was so disgusting, but the other part of me... I still remembered my daddy. The caring man who tucked me in at night.

"Daniel, his coworker, called. He... My... my Adrian was coming back from his business trip," she sat down on the couch and continued to sob. Her black hair that was usually tucked up into a neat pony tail was messed up and falling out of her pony tail. "His plane failed, crashed in the ocean. There weren't any survivors."

Daniel wasn't that original, was he? I stood behind the coffee table, facing her. I felt warm tears drift down my face. The lie didn't get to me, but remembering my father... I felt the long-haired munchkin kitten my father gave me rub up against my leg, his fur soft and thick.

"It's just us now," she sniffed. Oh, no. I knew where this was going. No. My tears instantly stopped flowing. "Come to America with me, we'll be-"

"No..."

"Satomi-"

"No..."

I knew that was harsh, but she was selfish. I knew she had just lost her husband, someone who she dearly loved, but now I was all that was left in the family. And she didn't want to be alone. I wasn't going to uproot myself just to be her last resort. She only called when she thought something was wrong or if my father brought up the suggestion, never just to say hi or talk to me. After Satoshi died, I didn't seem to matter much to her.

Where was her begging me to come with her and my father to America? She happily handed me over to Shiori. Even my father had tried to convince me to go with them, even though it was just one comment and it was never brought up again. At least he opened his mouth about it.

Then she did something rash, just like I expected.

"Show me your arms," she demanded, wiping her eyes.

She wanted to check if I had been harming myself. Not out of care or love, but of her own interest. She hadn't seen the new scars all over my palms and the long, deep scar plastered on my forearm. That would indicate to her that I had harmed myself and that, by law, I was unfit to live alone. She could have the law force me with her.

If I didn't show her my arms, I'd be damned. If I showed her, I'd be damned.

I pretended to be unresponsive and let the remaining tears fall down my face, unsure of what to dom but she got up and yanked on my arms. I pulled back from her and she remembered another part where I use to harm myself when the voices were violent after Satoshi's death. She pulled on my pajama pants and underwear, and yanked them down enough to see my hips. They were old scars. They were small, thin and shaped like sewing needles, but not fresh. The voices had encouraged me to burn myself there because nobody would check me underneath my underwear. The only reason my mother found out was because she walked in on me changing once.

"Get off me!" I yelled, pushing myself away from her.

"Show me your arms," she demanded again.

She was already distraught from my fathers death and was on a roll with her emotions now. I probably should have thought of a better way to say no. I didn't like her grabbing at me, I didn't like her touching me, searching my body without my consent with selfish intentions.

"Don't touch me," I snapped as she reached out to grab my arms.

She grabbed my arms and I pulled away from her and ran into my room, closing the door. I leaned against the door to keep her from opening it, and she tried pushing on the door. I looked up to the window sill and saw Hiei sitting calmly, looking out the window as if none of this was happening.

_You're similar to her, _he said to me telepathically. He kept his head turned out the window.

_Fuck you. No, I'm not, _I replied.

_Weak. No control over your emotions. Just like her._

"Satomi, if you don't open this door I'll call the authorities," she threatened.

"For what?!" I gasped, keeping my back against the door.

"I'm worried about you, you won't show me your arms and you've just locked yourself in your room after I told you about your father," she said. "For all I know you could try to hurt yourself."

"I locked myself in here because you wouldn't stop grabbing at me," I snapped.

She stayed quiet until I heard her talking in the living room on the phone, telling the cops about how I have a history of self harm and attempted suicide, and how I've locked myself in my room.

"This is like a 5150, correct?" She asked.

Probably some stupid law in California that she heard of while living there.

I guess the cops asked her what it was because she replied, "Involuntary Psychiatric Hold. Detaining someone who is a danger to themselves or others."

She was quiet for a while after saying thank you and then came back to my door, "Satomi, they're coming for you. I'm very worried about you right now."

No, she wasn't. She was rolling on her emotions and knew this would help her take me to America. I groaned, wondering how my father fell in love with this woman. When I was taken to jail, I got one phone call after I requested it. I called Kurama.

He picked up after the fourth ring, "Hello?"

"My mother has me on suicide watch..." I said bluntly into the phone.

"Satomi?"

Who else would be calling about this? "Yeah..."

"Did you-"

"No, she's rolling on her emotions and is using this as a way to force me to America with her..." I replied.

"I'll contact my mother, we'll be down there soon."

"Don't bother, they'll be evaluating me and sending me to a hospital..."

"We'll be down there soon," he repeated. "Don't worry, Satomi."

"Okay..."

We hung up and I stared at the phone for a while. This situation could have gone a lot better if I thought it through first.

* * *

_Currently._

Now, I was waiting for this doctor to finish checking up on me.

"Malnourished," he said, checking something off the clipboard after looking over at the machine I was hooked up to, then looked down at me. He checked off something else, "Depressed."

I raised my eyebrow curiously. Wondering why he could just check that off on a clip board so effortlessly, why it was an option. Depression and schizophrenia often went hand in hand as dealing with voices often put me into bouts of depression. I guess you could have bouts of depression without being diagnosed. He looked down at me again and I glared up to him. I didn't like him, I heard what he had said to a nurse, and I heard his thoughts. How I'm just an attention whore, starving myself for attention.

"Mood swings," he checked off something else. "When was the last time you took your medication?"

"Months ago," I replied, writing my answer down.

I wasn't eating because my body didn't _want_ to eat. He was a doctor, he should know that depression can affect to weight in one of two ways: extreme gain or loss. I had lost about seven pounds now after a few weeks, putting me at 111 lbs. Not a dangerous weight for my height, but obviously my lack of eating was not good and would lead to serious health problems.

"When can I have visitors?" I asked.

After last night, I realized I had to be completely responsive if I wanted to get out of this situation. If I didn't speak up I would have been on a tighter security. Being detained for psychiatric hold and being silent during your evaluation was a sure way to get yourself in a white, cushioned room. Talking did make me feel better though, even if I didn't talk about my father's death. Talking felt like a release, a weight of emotions being ripped off me. Once I started talking, I eventually couldn't stop. The doctor evaluating me at the time had to ask me to stop talking.

I watched as the doctor looked down at me. _When you're not an attention whore, _he thought.

I glared at him again and he felt uneasy as he answered me, "You can have family members visit."

"My brother Shuichi should be coming with my step-mother Shiori soon," I replied. "Give the front desk their names."

I saw him roll his eyes as he looked down at the clip board and then at the monitor. I looked around the room and noticed anything sharp or deemed "dangerous" had been taken out. I had learned how to play with my abilities, especially on humans. With a little push and practice of telepathic prowess, I was able to convince many of the staff in the hospital to bend some rules. I didn't enjoy doing it to most of them, pushing into their head and influencing them like that, but I had to or else I'd be in much deeper a problem right now.

I was on periodic watch, and my evaluation didn't deem me serious about committing suicide, but my mother demanded I be placed in here anyways. The staff didn't take my case seriously and, because of my influence, they violated a few laws because my "evaluation told them I wasn't suicidal." I wasn't complaining though, I wanted visitors. I wanted to see Kurama. I wanted to see Hiei as well, more than anything really, but he wasn't around. Besides, there was no reason for him to show up here for me.

There was always a nurse in my room watching over me. They'd be on their phones or a laptop or reading a book or magazine, but someone had to be present in the room at all times until my twenty-four hour period was up.

The doctor wrote some more stuff on his clip board and left the room. I didn't talk to the nurse, we had a mutual feeling: we didn't care about each other. She was just doing her job and I was just stuck here wondering how this was going to be sorted out. After about a half hour of waiting, the door opened. Kurama and Shiori walked in the room.

The nurse jumped up at the chance to leave, and left the room with haste. She didn't have to be watching me so long as I wasn't alone. I saw Kurama with a shopping bag in his hand, and holding his hand over his stomach. He wore a jacket, and acted uncomfortable. They walked over to the bed and he reached out for the drop-down tray that was next to the hospital bed. I sat up straight as he set down the shopping bag carefully on the table. Unraveling the plastic bag, I found a small container of Udon noodles. My favorite.

"Tempura Udon," Shiori smiled to me as she pulled up a chair and sat down next to me.

Kurama sat down on the side of the bed and faced me. Last night they tried reaching me at the police station, but I had already been transferred to the hospital.

"Thank you!" I smiled as Kurama handed me some chop sticks.

"They're very lenient about you, especially for being on suicide watch," Kurama said, opening his jacket.

I watched as Hime's head popped into view from inside his jacket. My smile grew bigger, I loved Hime and I loved that Kurama had brought me him.

Yes, him. It turned out Hime was a boy.

Hime crawled out onto the bed and lay down lazily. Hime was like a therapy cat for me, he made dealing with my father's death easier for some reason. There were times when Hime would lay with me for hours after I'd feed him, and I'd feel okay. I'd feel like my father never died, that he did nothing wrong.

"Because my mother requested me to be in here..." I replied, turning to face him. I gave him a quick wink out of Shiori's line of sight, I had taken care of some things. But I continued the partial truth for Shiori, "They evaluated me and I showed no signs. They didn't turn me away was because my father had died recently, I have a history, and I have new scars. Plus my mother pretty much demanded me in here."

We stayed silent for a minute, and I watched Hime lay comfortably on the sheets in between my legs.

"Have you thought of what to rename him?" Kurama asked.

"No," I said looking down at Hime. "Boy's can be princesses too, if they want. You want to be a princess?"

Hime looked up at me curiously and meowed, his tail swayed slowly. Shiori laughed for about a second.

"Hime, it is," I shrugged.

"Satomi," Shiori cut in, and I knew she was going to bring up the subject with my mother again. "What happened yesterday?"

"She wanted me to move to America with her, and I said no."

"But she wouldn't just call the cops..." Shiori said. She didn't talk to my mother much, she knew my father better.

"She did," I replied. "I mean, I probably just could have not locked myself in my room but she kept grabbing at me."

She stayed silent, wondering why my mother would have been grabbing at me, and looked at my food for a while, realizing I hadn't touched it.

"Are you hungry?" She asked.

I wasn't, but I dug into the soup anyways.

"When was the last time you ate?" She asked.

"A week ago," I answered.

I hadn't been eating much. But I forced myself to eat sometimes. Hiei was there, but he didn't bother with telling me to _do_ something, let alone eat. The only thing he ever told me to do was, "Get this thing off me." Because Hime had tried climbing onto him. I didn't listen to him or respond, I simply watched as Hime kept trying to sit in Hiei's lap, but was constantly rejected by Hiei pushing him off.

"What are your plans for this situation, Satomi?" Kurama asked.

"I thought about emancipation but she's the only one in my family left alive," I said. "That's not happening, the law won't allow for it. Especially after she pulled this, I'm going to be stuck with her. I'll probably end up going to America."

"Do you not want to be with her?" Shiori asked.

"I don't want to go to America..." I said as I chewed. I bent my head down a bit to eat more of the noodles.

"Because I am still your legal guardian," Shiori said suddenly. I perked up, rising my head from the bowl, noodles hanging out of my mouth. That's right. "I will talk to your mother and see if there's a compromise we can all come to agree with."

I bent my head down and slurped up the noodles.

"Not likely to happen, Mom," I mumbled after I chewed and swallowed. I moved the chopsticks around in the soup, "I'm the last one in our immediate family, there's no way she's going to just hand me over..."

"A compromise, Satomi," she repeated.

"What if there is no compromise...?"

"The odds are in my favor much more than hers."

Hime got up and maneuvered around the covers on top of me, pouncing on the ripples in the covers. Shiori was right. Shiori was much more of an active mother figure to me than my biological mother was. I grabbed a prawn with my chopsticks and bit into it. Hime moved up to where the table stood, and moved back onto his stubby, hind legs, leaning on the table. He began meowing loudly.

"Shut up!" I pouted, talking to Hime childishly.

_Mew._

"No," I squished my cheeks together with my hands and stuck out my tongue. "No food for the little kitten."

Hime made me happy in a way nobody else in the world could. He was my little baby and I always treated him like it. I saw Shiori smile at me from my peripheral vision and remembered the serious conversation we were having.

"Where is your mother now?" She asked.

"Probably at my place waiting for them to let me out of here."

"She was not there when I went to get Hime," Kurama said.

I wondered how he got inside. Probably Hiei. I shrugged and shook my head in response to the question, I didn't know. And I didn't care to find her.

"When will you be discharged?" Kurama asked, gently picking up Hime to pull him away from the table so I could eat.

"Tonight at ten," I looked up at the clock. I had a few more hours to go.

"Come over to our home," Shiori offered. "It will give your mother time to calm down so we can talk this out calmly."

I nodded and looked over to Kurama who gave me a reassuring smile.

"Like old times," I said.

"You say that as if it's been too long," he said.

"These past few months have been too long..." I mumbled looked down at the soup and picked up the bowl to drink the dark liquid.

They stayed until visiting hours were over at nine, and they reassured me that they'd wait for me.

"I'll take care of things at the front desk while we wait for you," Shiori said as she held up her purse. She had brought her legal documents.

I thanked them as they left and the doctor came in to check my vitals. He noticed the empty bowl on the table in front of me.

"You've eaten," he noted and looked at the monitor next to me. "Your body has become more stable with some food in your body, plus the nutrients from the IV but..."

"Okay," I sighed, knowing where this was going. They were going to hold me over because I was still malnourished. "Just mark down on that chart that my vitals are healthy so I can leave..."

He pretended to be shocked like he wasn't a douchebag, "I-"

"I'm going to eat, just let me leave at ten," I pressed.

He was a doctor, under oath, so of course he didn't. But I didn't deserve to be in here. So I pushed my limits a bit, picking up the trick I learned at the stadium as it crumbled. He was a human, so this would be easy. I kept my mind silent as I pushed into his head telepathically, sending him strong, unnerving emotions and images. The memory of when I was running through the forest from the visual hallucinations worked perfectly, I sent in the emotions I was feeling at the time and he started to shake. His pen started trembling along with his hand as he looked at the clip board, and then he looked down at me, frightened.

"What's wrong?" I asked innocently as I pushed more feelings and images into his head. The overwhelming feeling of fear and anxiety, being watched and followed.

He looked back to his clip board, and I pried into his mind, making sure he wrote down healthy vitals. He set the clip board down for me to look at, to show he had written down what I had asked him to write down.

"Why are you showing me this?" I asked, pretending to be oblivious. He was scared now, he didn't know why he was feeling so anxious and scared.

I looked down at the clip board and saw my medical history and the vitals he had just written down. I skimmed down the page and saw a number, a date. July 31st. That rang a clear bell. My eyes lingered on the date printed out on the paper as he took the clip board back. He quickly left the room. I thought about what I had just done and felt bad for toying with him. But I knew my vitals were pretty shitty, and I needed to get out of here. I didn't deserve to be in here. I felt no remorse for him.

A half hour passed and another doctor came in, the one who had done my evaluation last night. It was 9:40 now.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. He held a cup of coffee in his hand, and a clip board in the other.

"Fine," I replied honestly. He looked down at the clip board and read my vitals. "You're here late."

"I often come up into this city for this hospital," he explained.

"Where are you from?" I asked, making small talk.

"You recover fast," he ignored me, noting the new vitals suspiciously on the clipboard.

"You know, I used to be allergic to peanuts when I was a kid," I said. "I can eat peanut butter now and my throat won't swell up..."

He looked at me curiously, and then realized what I was relating the peanuts to.

"Well," He sighed and took a gulp from his coffee. "I know you're not trying to kill yourself, but you not eating raises concern. Plus, you should be taking your medication."

"I ate," I said and looked at the bowl in front of me. He walked over and peaked into it, finding the grocery bag and the empty carton of soup.

"We'll up your dosage of Risperidone," he said suddenly, writing down a dose. Whatever, I wasn't going to take it anyways. "So instead of once a day, twice a day."

"Uh-huh," I mumbled as he looked at me, waiting for me to respond.

He looked at me curiously, and I was ready to pull the same stunt on him that I did the previous doctor. I pushed through his head effortlessly, but I didn't like the feeling I got once I arrived inside. It was... unwelcoming, dark. I retreated instantly, unnerved. He kept his curious look upon me, and then signed off on the clipboard. He was a disturbed man, very dark in his head.

"You're free to go at ten," he said as he left the room. I stayed put in the hospital bed until ten, unnerved and scared.

* * *

Kurama was holding onto Hime, and handed me him as I got closer to them in the entrance way. I realized my mother was out in the parking lot next to a taxi, I couldn't say anything though, because Shiori had no idea about my head and my abilities. And I couldn't communicate with Kurama telepathically, he wasn't human. I wasn't strong enough to break through into his head. We ended up walking in her direction and she had her arms crossed with a stoic look on her face.

"Come, Satomi," she said, standing in front of the taxi door.

"No," I replied.

"Suzumi, it's nice to see you again after so long," Shiori said calmly with a small smile. "I'm very sorry about Adrian."

"Hello, Shiori, it's so wonderful to see you," my mother replied with faux care. She ignored the comment about my dad. "My daughter and I should be leaving now."

"Suzumi, surely we can work something out. It's very unfair to rip Satomi away from her home."

"Her home is with her mother."

"I am home," I said bluntly, standing closer to Shiori. That was a low blow to my mother, and I probably should have thought that through...

My mother looked at me with harsh eyes, but they soon softened sadly. She knew she was gone for too long; she knew she gave me up too easily. She became sad because she knew she had pushed me away and it was too late.

"Suzumi, we can come to a compromise," Shiori offered. "Something to make you both happy."

My mother looked down sadly at the cement sidewalk and Shiori walked over to her, putting her hands on my mother's shoulders for comfort.

"We'll all talk tomorrow when we're all calmed down and able to think things through clearly," Shiori said.

My mother nodded solemnly and looked at me before getting into the taxi.

"Love you, mother," I said quietly.

I learned my lesson from my father's death, so of course I'd reassure her she had a place in my heart. Maybe not the one she wanted... I didn't know what place it was that she held, but it was there, and that's what mattered. She gave a small smile and got into the taxi. I may not have liked her, but she gave birth to me, and she tried caring for me in her own way. It counted enough for me to still love her as a...

Hm, well, "mother figure" wasn't the right phrase...

* * *

I lay on Kurama's bed, blowing a spit bubble to taunt Hime. He swiped at the spit bubble with his stubby limb and I moved my head back. I had parted my lips slightly, so it broke anyways.

"Look at what you did!" I squeaked to Hime, picking him up and laying him on his back. I nuzzled his stomach for a second before letting go, I heard Kurama's door open. He walked in holding some old pajamas I had left behind when I moved out.

"Those are old," I said as he handed them to me. "I don't know if they'll fit."

"Well," he smiled down at me and pinched his nose.

"I wasn't allowed to shower!" I whined, a bit embarrassed.

I got up from the bed and moved around him, walking towards the bathroom as he chuckled. I stood in the shower for a while, letting the water flow over me, gathering water in my mouth and then spitting it at the wall in boredom. After about five minutes of repeating this I finally remembered to wash myself. When I finished showering, I put on the old pajamas. The shirt was a bit small and I could almost see my navel, it was a bit tight around my shoulders and breasts, but fell loosely around my stomach. The pants fit because they were stretching, elastic. I guess I grew a bit taller.

I wrapped the towel around my hair on top of my head and went back into Kurama's room. He was sitting at the chair in front of his desk and Hime was walking around on the desk. I watched as Kurama would put his hand on the desk and wait for Hime to pounce on it, only to move it away at the last second. I sat down on the bed again and Hime noticed me. He ran to the edge of the desk but stopped, scared to jump.

"You're taking your father's death much better than I expected you would," Kurama noted suddenly as I sat down on the bed. I leaned my back against the wall.

I was sad, I really was, but I hardened as I watched the stadium crumble, as I saw the memory. It hurt to hear his last words as he passed on. But the reality was the images I had seen in his head before he died helped me get over it. Saying that sounds horrible, to be honest, but it's true.

I saw the images, the very last one. It lingered in my head until I passed out, it lingered while I woke up and was unresponsive as well. It was sick and twisted. I knew he showed me that memory on purpose, he knew I was prying and pushing into his head. And I... I didn't understand how my father could have done that sick, twisted shit. I became frustrated, shaking a bit on the bed.

I looked over to him, silently asking if he was sure about wanting to hear why. It was like opening a pandora's box of emotions. But he nodded.

"Because I know why he didn't fight for me on auction," I mumbled. "And... well, I saw some memories too. He didn't _do _anything, but he paid others so he could watch and I..."

I leaned back and slammed the back of my head against the wall in frustration, "My father's sick, twisted! He... I..." I leaned my head onto my knees as I pulled them up towards my chest. "I don't know when my father turned into that... I mean, he couldn't have been born that sick. He never laid a hand on me... he was nice and caring. How did he turn into that?"

Kurama stayed silent as I stared at the sheets. Hime sat at the edge of the desk patiently, hoping one of us would pick him up and let him down to the floor.

"How do you turn into that?" My face contorted into one of confusion and pain. "Like, he wasn't like that before. He couldn't have been born to think like that, to do that. When did he turn into that?" I turned to Kurama, and he looked away from me, sad and unsure how to answer, and stared at Hime.

"He _paid_ to watch someone to mutilate a young girl, Kurama," my voice turned into a ragged whisper. "He paid someone to do it so he could watch. And he just sat there drinking his damn liquor, nonchalantly, like he wasn't watching someone being tortured. It didn't phase him! He watched it carelessly, like he didn't cause that... she was awake, they tore fingers off, then her toes, and they burned her, they were slowly dismembering her by every bone and tendon and-"

"Satomi," Kurama could handle hearing it, but I couldn't.

I realized I couldn't handle that memory when I felt my face was wet with tears, and I used my palm to wipe my face dry.

Shiori knocked on the door, and a few seconds later she entered the room, "Are you alright?"

I nodded, keeping my face turned away from her. She waited a few minutes, looked at her son, and then slowly left the room.

"I'm not upset about his death because he did that on purpose, he showed me all of that on purpose," I mumbled finally, after a few minutes of silence. "I'm upset because it's easier to let someone die if they're evil."

I was torn, because I still knew him as the man who tucked me in at night. It was hard to accept that man my father showed me, the man he turned into somewhere along the course of life, because I just wanted to believe he was my kind father.


	21. Toothpaste Kisses

**A/N: **I just wanted to thank everyone for reading along, whether silently or reviewing along the way! I never thought this story would get so much feedback. It makes me want to better this story since I know I mess up sometimes. And I know I have room for improvement, so I'm always open to constructive criticism. So, thank you all for sticking around! I hope I can keep you entertained until the end.

* * *

The next afternoon, I stood in front of my apartment door. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I had a hard time sleeping last night, drudging up those memories of my father. The images played repeatedly, so it was hard to close my eyes and really sleep without being bombarded by blood and muscle tissue and screams. I had handled the images much better than I used to, though.

I watched TV for a good five hours before I passed out, but was woken up three hours later by Shiori for breakfast. She made me eat when I wasn't hungry, I ended up only being able to clear half of the plate. But I pushed the food around, making it look like I had eaten enough. She knew my little game, but thought something in my stomach was better than nothing, and didn't reprimand me. She also had washed my pajamas that I had been wearing in the hospital and I wore them on the way home.

I could feel my mother inside the apartment in the living room. Hime wriggled around in my arms, excited to be home. I hoped my mother had calmed down. Even if she hadn't, she wouldn't make a scene with Shiori and Kurama present, so that was a plus. The door was unlocked, that irked me a bit as I entered the apartment but I realized another presence was here, and my irritation subsided. Hiei. He was still in my room, probably on that damn window sill; Kurama noticed his presence as well.

I saw my mother sitting on the couch in the living room, the TV was on, and she was playing an old cartoon I used to watch with my father. Marge's voice broke the silence that clouded the living room as she talked to Lisa, her daughter on the TV screen.

We all gathered around my mother. I stood in front of the coffee table, putting it in between us, and faced her. Kurama stood next to me and Shiori sat down on the couch next to my mother.

I set Hime down and he ran into my room, his collar jingling lightly as he ran. The door was cracked open so he easily slid through. He liked Hiei.

"I've got the perfect plan," my mother smiled. She was calm. Her long black hair was neatly brushed over her shoulders. "I'll move back here."

That was simple.

"Okay," I shrugged my shoulders.

"Now, it'll take a while for me to move out of America and find a job here, but it shouldn't be too bad," she started rambling, looking to Shiori, who nodded in approval about how wonderful that idea sounded. "And it'll take a while for you to move your stuff out of here-"

Haha, swerve.

"Nope," I said.

"Satomi," Shiori looked at me desperately, wondering when I became so harsh towards my mother.

I personally didn't think my tone was that harsh. Cattish, maybe, but not harsh.

"Well, we can't live in here together," my mother said. "It's only a one bedroom."

"Exactly..." I looked at my mother, waiting for her to take the hint.

She looked down at the coffee table that stood in between us, and her eyes started to water a bit.

"Satomi, surely-"

I cut Shiori off, "Move here, mother. But let me grow to trust you..."

My mother perked up, eager to listen.

I remembered her phone call to the authorities, anger bubbled in my chest, "Forcing us together right away isn't going to end well..."

"Then, what are you saying?" My mother looked sad, but she knew I was right.

I didn't like being around her or talking to her. She was forcing a relationship that never existed.

"Move here," I explained, trying to reach past the anger I had towards her. "And let me stay here in the apartment. We'll grow the bond that you missed out on creating with me when I was growing up. When we can tolerate each other then I'll move in with you."

"But you'll be going to America for college in a year," my mother pointed out.

"And until then, I'll be here."

"It'd be easier on you to go to America for your last year of high school," she tried arguing for her original plan.

"I want to be here..."

"I'm not standing for that," she pressed, attempting to assert some foreign authority she suddenly thought she held over me.

I wanted to dip into her head and shove in some unnerving images and emotions to get her the hell out of here, but all that would do is escalate the situation and I didn't want to chance breaking her psyche since she was already in a fragile state. In fact, I almost regretted thinking of that plan, pushing images into someone's head was horrible for me to do, to take advantage of.

"Yeah, I live with you now and I'll just end up in a white, cushioned room," I mumbled. "You want your daughter in the loony bin? Some family."

She looked at me for a minute, reading my face, wondering when I became so harsh towards her. What point was being together if it drove me up the walls?

Then another threat popped into her imagination, "Then you need to start paying for some rent and utilities."

My father had been paying for my expenses, and now that he was gone my mother wasn't going to chip in the same way. My father left me money obviously, but I was going to keep it for college expenses.

"That's fine," I replied casually.

"You'll find a job?" My mother looked at me skeptically, as did Shiori.

They thought I wouldn't be able to handle a job because of the need to interact with new people.

"Are you sure you can handle it?" Shiori looked at me, worried.

She knew I tried to do volunteer work before to put on my holistic portion of a college application, and it didn't end well. My anxiety kicked in and I ended up crying because I was forced to talk to a crowd of people all at once. I didn't bother looking for a job after that. I looked up to Kurama with a small grin. I could handle some interaction now, I may not be completely in control of my head and emotions, but a job would be fine. A job wasn't the Black Black Club or the environment at the tournament.

"I'll be fine," I turned to look at my mother, and I knew she didn't want me to get a job so I'd be forced to agree to live with her right away. "I was actually offered a job a while ago, after things are settled here I'll see if the offer still stands."

"Doing what?" Shiori was excited for me; she knew it was hard for me to talk to multiple people at once. That's what jobs were about: interaction.

"An acquaintance of mine works in a salon," I replied.

"That's perfect for you!" Shiori smiled and clasped her hands together.

My mother smiled a bit, but was obviously let down that her threats didn't work. She looked at me and then turned to Shiori, who nodded, reassuring her that this was a good compromise. My mother looked down at the table, thinking about what was more important. Her life in America, or my life here.

"Alright," my mother said as she stood up. "We'll do it your way."

"When will you be moving here?" I asked.

"I'll put in a word at the old hospital I used to work at," she said, running her fingers through her long hair. "And then we'll see how it goes. It may take a while."

"A while..." I looked at her, wanting an estimate.

She said "a while" often, and it was never in the same estimated area. A while could mean a day to her, the next time she said it, it could mean almost a year.

"A few weeks," she replied as she reached down for her purse.

She put it over her shoulder, her grey pullover bunching up on her shoulder as the strap held onto her. She dug in her purse and pulled out a small photo, she handed it to me sadly. Her eyes followed it as I casually took it from her grip. It was an old picture of me and her.

"You don't have any pictures of us in here," she said as she looked at the empty walls. "So I'll give you this one."

I looked at it, wondering what picture it was. My mother and I were standing in the front yard. She was in her pink nursing scrubs, squatting down next to me with her purse in her hand. Her long black hair was the same length then as it was now, hanging over her shoulders and falling onto her chest. I stood next to her about a foot away with a little box of chalk in my hand. I wore a white sun dress.

We were both smiling, but I knew for a fact that I was smiling in that picture because my father was the one taking a picture and I was happy he was home. Shiori walked with my mother to the front door and I stood next to Kurama, looking at the picture. I flipped it over to see the date. Doing the math... I was eight. This was around the beginning, when he'd come home later and later each day. Eventually, the business trips came, and as the years progressed he'd be gone for days, sometimes weeks. When he would arrive home, he would be too tired to speak be with me. But I held on, because I was a daddy's girl.

"Satomi," I heard my mother's voice and I perked up, thankful to take my mind off my father. I turned to see her in the doorway, "I'm sorry for the other day."

"It's fine..." I lied quietly, remembering the police hand cuffing me.

"I'll be calling James about what we should do for your father's funeral," she said. "I'll call you about the funeral and when I'll be coming."

Ha! I wondered how_ that_ phone call would go.

Grandpa James was my father's dad, and he did_ not_ like my mother or her side of the family. He was bitter over Pearl Harbor. Grandpa James fought in the Army in World War II for America when he was nineteen, just as my mother's dad, Ojii-san Hajime, did for Japan when he was twenty. Grandpa James' older brother Samuel, a Marine, died in the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Ojii-san Hajime harbored bitter emotions because he had family in Nagasaki when America dropped Fat Boy. Both old war veterans held the other responsible for their loved ones deaths.

Grandpa James and Ojii-san Hajime did not get along in the slightest, yet both of their wives, Grandma Jeanne and Oba-san Asuka, were civil and actually enjoyed each other's presence. That didn't last long, because Grandma Jeanne died when Satoshi was a few years old, before I was born. We never met for family reunions or saw each other on holidays, not even cards or calls. My mother and father kept us away from both set of grandparents, much to the dismay of both grandmothers.

Grandpa James wasn't happy at all about his son marrying a "Jap", but he was somehow mature enough to respect my father's desires. That didn't mean he was civil to my mother or Ojii-san Hajime and Oba-san Asuka, though. I didn't know if he would've liked me or Satoshi if we were ever able to meet him. Too late now to bother with meeting them, though, they were all close to dying from old age.

Satoshi told me all of this when I was a bit older and I had asked why we never saw Ojii-san Hajime and Oba-san Asuka even though they lived in Japan, and he explained why our immediate family stayed isolated.

"Alright," I said. I really didn't want to go to a funeral. I didn't want to see an empty casket, hear everyone talk about my father and how amazing he was, because he was amazing... but he wasn't. "I'll hear from you soon?"

She looked at me for a second and then nodded with a small smile before leaving, "I'll see you soon."

Shiori closed the door when my mother left and turned to face me.

The shit storm had ended, relatively easily.

"See, Satomi?" Shiori said happily. "We just had to talk calmly."

"You say that as if it's my fault she got on her emotion high," I mumbled.

"She's upset her husband died," Shiori said quietly.

And I wasn't upset about losing my father? I sighed and looked down at the ground. Shiori was trying not to take sides, and I understood that... Shiori put her hands on my shoulders and then moved in to hug me. I hugged back for a few seconds and she let go.

"Do you want us to come with you to the salon, to talk about the offer?" Shiori asked.

"If you want," I said.

I really didn't want her to go, because I could do it on my own, but I didn't want to turn her away.

"Mother, I'm sure Satomi can handle it," Kurama smiled to her.

She looked at me and smiled, "I guess you can, huh? Alright."

She looked at the clock and then turned to Kurama, "Shuichi, I'm going home, I've some errands to run. Will you be coming home with me?"

Kurama looked at Shiori and then turned to me, "I'll return later tonight, mother."

Shiori nodded and then hugged me goodbye, and left. We stood in silence for a few seconds.

"Hiei has been staying here for quite a while," Kurama noted after a few seconds.

I shrugged and headed for my room, "I don't mind. It's nice company."

I opened the door to my room and found Hime sitting in Hiei's lap. Hiei looked irritated, glaring at Hime. The kitten had finally succeeded in climbing onto his lap.

"Let someone like you," I said as I set the picture of me and my mother on the desk.

I went to my drawer and dug around for some clothes.

Hiei looked over to me as I dug in my drawer, "Get this thing off me."

"That_ thing_ is a cat," I said. "And his name is Hime. Touching him won't kill you, I promise. If you pet him, I'm sure you'll grow to like him."

I pulled out some tight jeans and a spaghetti-strapped pink shirt.

"Will you leave or am I forced to go change somewhere else?" I asked.

"Get this cat off me and I'll leave," he said.

I didn't know why he didn't like Hime. He was just a kitten. I walked over to my bed, set the clothes down, and got onto the bed, standing on my knees. I moved towards the window sill that stood above the end of my bed and grabbed Hime from Hiei's lap. But as I lifted Hime, he dug his claws into Hiei's cloak, dragging it with him.

"Surprisingly, he likes you," I said as I set him back down on Hiei's lap. "He doesn't want to leave."

Hime meowed and swayed his tail.

"Tch," Hiei looked down at Hime, who happily meowed up at him.

"You know, you can pick him up if you hate him so much," I said, crossing my arms.

I watched as Hiei grabbed Hime by the back of his neck and lifted him up.

"Hey!" I reached for Hime.

"That's how they're meant to be picked up, fool," he retorted.

"The _one_ thing you know about the human world and it's how a mother cat picks up its young," I stared at him blankly as he dangled Hime in the air in front of me.

I took Hime from him and set the stubby kitten down on the ground. Hiei got off the sill and left the room for me to change. When I finished, I start to put my wavy hair into a messy bun. I looked over at my desk again, at the picture. I sighed and finished getting ready. Hiei and Kurama were in the living room talking while I was getting changed, but I felt Hiei leave the apartment as I opened my bedroom door.

I had grabbed a grey jacket and put it on as I went into the closet that stood a few feet from the front door to find my duffle bag and began digging in it. Shizuru had put the salon's name on a piece of paper... I felt a soft fabric, something I hadn't taken out of the duffle bag when emptying my clothes. The dress I wore at the dinner reservation. An uneasy feeling washed over me as I dropped it back into the duffle bag and continued looking for the paper... I still didn't know who gave the outfit to me.

And... found it.

I went to get my purse and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror from the living room since the door was wide open. It was noticeable from here. My lower stomach was bloated, slightly pudgy. I pressed on it gently, my finger indenting the layer of fat over my stomach. I was bloated because I hadn't been eating much and I finally put food in my body last night and a bit earlier this morning. My body had hit starvation mode, retaining everything I ate as fat in fear of me never eating again. I wondered when my stomach decided to start bloating. It was going to burn the fat first, and then I was going to look like a skeleton as my body started depleting lean muscle tissue.

Oh, well. I'll eat something soon.

I hunted Hime down and set him inside my purse. He sat quietly, obediently. I couldn't leave him alone yet, he was mischievous and a climber, who knows what he'd get into while I was gone. He may have been two or three months old, but I didn't know how to make sure he'd stay tame while I was gone. I stepped outside my apartment to see Kurama waiting.

We walked around town for a while, looking for Shizuru's salon. Multiple times along the way I had to stare at the stores that we passed by, or stare down at the sidewalk. I kept getting urges to jump into traffic, a silent egging in my head. While I kept my eyes on the stores we walked past, I noticed a tattoo parlor. I stopped walking and remembered the date I had seen on the clipboard. Kurama stopped a few paces ahead of me and turned to see what I was looking at.

"Tattoos are frowned upon," Kurama warned me.

He wasn't trying to deter me, but simply remind me of the consequences of getting one here in Japan. There weren't many tattoo parlors in Japan, and those that were around were often crawling with Yakuza. Many people who had tattoos were a part of the yakuza. Obviously, not everyone with a tattoo was a part of the yakuza, but that was the social stigma of obtaining ink.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"Dates."

"You are underage."

I pulled my wallet out from my purse and gave a sly grin, "Not with money, I'm not."

He gave me a small smirk and I figured I'd come here again another time. Kurama started walking and I caught up with him, jogging a bit to walk next to him. About a half hour later we found the salon. Calming zen music was playing as we entered, the sound of cicadas humming along to the chimes of bells filled the salon. I noticed Shizuru in the back of the salon, cutting a young girl's hair, she was around my age. Shizuru was cutting her hair short, into a pixie cut. I watched as Shizuru gently ran her fingers backwards through the girl's hair, dragging it upwards into a frayed, edgy look. She had just finished.

Another young woman with black hair greeted me as I walked in, "Welcome! Are you here for a walk-in?

I looked at her rosy cheeks, her skin was pale against the color in her cheeks, her brown eyes gleamed brightly. She was young and beautiful, more attractive than me. I felt a spurt of jealousy in my stomach, insecurity.

"No, I'm here to talk to Shizuru," I replied quietly, looking at her enviously.

The girl looked surprised and then called out to Shizuru, who was across the salon. Shizuru looked up and saw me and Kurama near the entrance of the store. She nodded and continued to finish styling the girl's hair. Kurama and I sat down in the waiting area and I looked through the books and magazines, at the hair styles. Hime meowed loudly as I flipped through the magazine pages.

"Shut up," I squeaked quietly to Hime as I leaned in towards him, he stopped meowing and looked up at me.

I turned to Kurama, "Thanks for everything you and Mom did yesterday, by the way."

"Of course," he said, his eyes following Shizuru's movements.

She was almost done styling the girl's hair.

"I never saw your fight," I said, remembering that suddenly.

It had been weeks and I never thought about that.

"Yes, I was a bit curious as to where you were when the girls arrived and you were not there," he replied, looking down at me curiously.

"Passed out on the couch in the hotel," I said. "I had eaten too much the night before."

"You have learned nothing from your experiences at buffets," he sighed, silently reprimanding himself for thinking anything but that had happened.

He was referring to the time he, Shiori, and I would go to buffets when we were younger. I'd eat so many noodles that I'd end up puking in the parking lot, having to be helped to the car because I was so worn out and stuffed. "All I can eat" buffet? You fucking bet. We went to buffets maybe two or three times after that, and it happened each time. When we had went to the buffet all those months ago, it was supposed to be a repeat, but my schizophrenia kicked in and ruined what I secretly felt was a tradition. Unusual, but a tradition nonetheless.

"That time I didn't vomit," I said with pride as I gave him a thumbs-up.

A little sweat drop fell down his head as Shizuru walked up to us.

"You want to take up my offer?" She asked.

I looked up to see her standing in front of me. I nodded.

"Alright," she said, handing me a piece of paper. "Fill this out and come back tomorrow morning at 10, and bring some good music with you. I don't know how much longer I can take this zen crap."

I nodded as she walked away, and I looked to Kurama with a big smile. I was going to love getting paid to do hair.

"Also, do your hair up," Shizuru said, turning back to face me. "The extravagant stuff you always do."

* * *

Kurama and I parted ways at a nearby shop, I didn't want him to have to walk home with me, and then have to go all the way back to Shiori's. I thanked him one last time before we parted ways, and I entered the little shop. I picked up some junk food and made my way home with Hime meowing loudly along the way. I had said "Shut up" so many times it began to sound like it wasn't even a phrase anymore.

When I came home, I locked the door on my way inside. But my head started urging me to lock it again and again, so for a few minutes I began to unlock and lock it, twisting the lock back and forth multiple times. If I didn't, someone would break in. Eventually, the urge disappeared and I walked to the kitchen counter to set down the bags I carried in. I felt Hiei in the living room. I picked up Hime from my purse and set him on the ground, he darted over to his food bowl in the corner of the kitchen that had some dry food left in it. I picked up the bag that sat next to the bowl and poured more into it for him to eat.

I stood up straight to see Hiei, a bit dazed from being tired. The walk was a good forty five minutes, plus the fifteen I spent in the small store, now I was just... exhausted. I wanted to talk to him briefly before shoving my face with the junk food I picked up. Finally, as I made my way around the corner of the counter into the living room, something found its way out of my mouth.

"Was my mother interesting?" I asked, remembering his comment from, what, two days ago.

"As entertaining as a train wreck," he replied.

"Is that good or bad?" I asked as I turned my back to him and started putting away the stuff I bought.

I quickly spoke again as I realized I didn't want to know what he thought of my mother.

I remembered how he had talked down about my father... not that I blamed him, "Never mind, I don't really want to know."

I pulled out a large bag of fruit snacks and slid it on the counter, watching it slide towards the sink.

"Her emotions and thoughts are manic. She goes from one emotion to the next in seconds," he said.

I was surprised he was able to pick that up from just watching her the other day. But her smothering emotions weren't this bad before my father died. His death definitely played a part in her now extreme emotional roller-coaster. I wonder what he saw her do while I was gone, if he had stayed.

"It's a wonder how she functions in your human society," he said.

"I've never met another person who can slap on a mask of happiness like her," I said, pulling out some ramen packets. "She knows in the real world you can't act like that. She used to freak out when I'd have episodes, but she can keep a straight face when working on some mangled person in the ER. Kind'a shows her priorities, I guess."

I paused, remembering the TV being on when I arrived home earlier.

"You were here while she was snooping around?" I asked.

She was watching a video when we arrived earlier, so she had to have dug around my room.

"She's a nosy woman," he noted, obviously remembering something my mother did.

"What did she snoop through?" I turned towards him.

"Your desk."

"Ugh," I dug out the carton of ice cream.

I sighed, already exhausted. I tried not to think about my mother anymore because I was just going to give myself a migraine.

"Come here," I changed the subject, waving my hand to gesture him. "I picked up a treat that I think you might like."

Curious, he stepped up next to me. I pulled the small pint of ice cream out of the other bag to show him.

"Chocolate brownie," I said. "It's ice cream, it's like creamy dairy."

I grabbed the carton and made my way into the kitchen, walking around the long counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. "Do you want to try some?"

I walked into the kitchen and talked before he could reply, teasing him.

"Why am I even asking? You're just going to say," I paused and tensed my face, mimicking his rude tone of voice. "No."

I could feel his glare burning in the back of my head. I laughed a bit as I got my own bowl of ice cream. I wasn't particularly hungry, I just wanted some chocolate.

I looked over to him as I reached for another bowl, "But really, do you want any?"

He was still irritated with me. That was probably his biggest pet peeve with me: mocking him. I heard his sword unsheathe, though I couldn't see his movement underneath the other side of the counter.

"Mock me again," His voice became threatening.

"Mock me again," I tensed my face, but started laughing halfway through.

He wasn't going to harm me. It was an empty threat, just like how he pulled his sword away from my neck at the hotel.

I calmed down, "Okay, now really, do you want any?"

For constantly irritating him, he sure did stay around. He was almost always here by nightfall, and the sun was setting. I would assume a tree branch was more comfortable than a window sill, or maybe he used the couch. I was never sure, but I never brought it up. I didn't want him to leave.

I got another bowl out and made him one, even though I knew it'd end up melted and untouched. I set the bowl in front of him and put away the ice cream, and then fruit snacks in the pantry. The pantry door squeaked as I opened it, making me cringe.

"I need to oil this door," I mumbled, closing it. "Every time I open the door, there's this obnoxious squeaking sound."

"You should oil your mouth," I heard him reply.

I looked at him curiously. What did that even mean?

"What?"

"Every time you open your mouth, there's this obnoxious squeaking sound."

I stared at him blankly for a second as the insult sunk in.

"Look, you little shit..." I mumbled, trailing off since I couldn't blame him.

He saw the opportunity to deal that insult and he took it. He had this sly smirk on his face as I made my way over to the living room, the bowl of ice cream in my hand. This kind of conversation was fairly normal, so I thought nothing of it as I watched Hime run into the living room and begin rolling around on the floor, meowing loudly for attention.

We stood against the kitchen counter for a while, and I ate the ice cream, watching Hime continue to whine for attention. To drown out the whines, I thought about the last few months. My thoughts drifted to how he used to treat me, and how he treated me now. There was a huge, but subtle difference. Before he absolutely loathed me, hated being assigned to watch over me, yet now he hung around my apartment on his own free will. It may have just been because he had nowhere else to sleep at night, but I didn't mind that reason at all.

And I really didn't mind the little insults he threw at me, to be honest, it was little moments like those that I liked the most. I looked over at him as I took another bite. He was staring at Hime, as I often caught him doing, like he was trying to figure him out, as if there was something suspicious about the little kitten.

I remembered around the time when Hiei and I first met, and I had begun training in Kurama's room... when he stepped up close to me. I remembered thinking how attractive he was. I looked over to him, taking in his features again. His nose still had a slight curve, his eyes were still a bright crimson. I remembered the way his mouth moved when he'd first said my name. I remembered him finding me in the stadium.

Kurama was right, he was nice in his own way.

"What, girl?" he snapped at me as he caught me looking at him.

I laughed a bit out of embarrassment, my lips wrapped around the spoon as my shoulders shook in laughter. And an urge formed in my stomach that traveled up into my chest, an urge completely different than what I used to feel as a child. An urge different than what I'd feel recently. This wasn't an urge from my head, egging me to do something. This was completely different, something I _wanted_ to do, there was no ambivalence present. I set the bowl down on the counter behind me, I noticed he'd tried the ice cream while I wasn't looking, there was a small dent in the scoop of chocolate. I turned my body towards him.

"My name is _Satomi_," I drew his attention towards me with my correction as I leaned in towards him, and he turned to meet my face.

Quickly, I pressed my lips against his. A tight pleasure formed in my chest and moved up into my throat. With a slight part of the lips, there was a subtle hint of chocolate that graced my tongue. I gently bit down on his lower lip, and slightly tugged it before I moved away. It was a quick movement, and as I pulled away and opened my eyes, part of me wish I hadn't done that. His red irises were harsh, angry... but he was quiet as he looked down at me.

That was a bad idea.

I put my hand to my forehead, maybe I should have thought that one through.


	22. Somebody Told Me

My eyes fluttered open this morning, feeling the presence of a strange yet familiar energy that floated in the air. It wasn't Hiei's... Hiei.

At that point, it took me a total of maybe two seconds to remember what I did. I dragged my feet across the room as I realized how incredibly stupid I was. Maybe a concussion would make me forget last night. God, how stupid was I? After I had kissed him, my eyes slowly fell to the ground in shock as I waited for some form of response, anything.

Those five seconds felt like hours, all blood had rushed to my head, leaving none in my legs for me to get away. I stumbled backwards on numb legs in an attempt to run into my room to escape the silence, and I faltered slightly. He grabbed my arm with a harsh grip to steady me, I stuttered for a second.

That didn't happen, the rejection didn't happen. That didn't happen.

I couldn't take it back, that'd be stupid.

"G'Night," I had finally managed to pull some words out of my throat, my eyes now glued to the ground.

His grip loosened, probably from hearing my frantic, embarrassed thoughts, not wanting to deal with them or me, and I stumbled backwards once more. Quickly, I made my way to my bedroom, bumping into the door on the way inside. I soon calmed down as I entered the room.

I had told myself repeatedly as the blood rushed around in my head, "It's fine, this is just a dream, that didn't really happen."

My denial allowed me to fall asleep quickly; my head was convinced that it was a dream and nothing more.

I slammed my forehead into the wall one last time before squatting and holding my forehead in pain. God, how stupid was I?

Wasn't he prying in my head like always? Why didn't he stop me? Ugh.

I felt Hime come in the room, small footsteps pattered against the carpet. I turned around and crawled towards him to scoop him up.

"Why didn't _you_ stop me?" I whined and picked him up, gently shaking him.

The energy was strong in the room, yet it wasn't Hiei. He was long gone, elsewhere.

He meowed loudly in reply and I set him down, discouraged. Ugh. My hands found their way to my face and I felt the heat of embarrassment warming my palms. The headache only got worse. I lay down on the carpet, burying my face. I just wanted to place the blame of my stupid actions on someone else. Anything else. Because waking up and Hiei being gone wasn't exactly a bad sign. I woke up plenty of days and he wasn't around, but this was different... a completely different circumstance. This was just... embarrassing.

I groaned in frustration, my whining muffled by the soft carpet.

After lying there for about ten minutes, wondering why I had to develop feelings for someone who obviously did not return them, I got up to get ready. Maybe if I waited more than five seconds before leaving I would have received a response. Or maybe I saved myself from an even harsher rejection.

It was six and Shizuru wanted me there at ten. It was only a forty minute walk, but I couldn't sleep anymore. I would just lay there and stare at the wall, remembering how stupid I was. I didn't want to spend time alone.

My headache worsened with each step around my apartment. After showering, I spent an hour going through my closet finding an outfit to wear, mixing clothes, matching them and pairing up awkward colors and pieces of clothing for mundane amusement. But all I chose was a bland grey tank top and jeans. An hour of musing on a closet full of expensive clothes and that was the best I could come up with.

I made my way to the bathroom and put some mousse in my hair, crunching it to give loose, awkward curls, and put it into a high pony tail on the side of my head. Hime clawed at my ankles, whining for food, going as far as to dig his claws into my jeans, hanging onto me as I walked over to the kitchen to set his food out.

He watched me with interest as I grabbed a case of burned mix CD's and put them in my purse, remembering Shizuru's request.

I noticed the two bowls of ice cream on the kitchen counter, and my stomach churned. I dumped the thick dairy into the sink, and washed the bowls, eventually I stopped halfway through the second bowl and dropped it in the sink, letting water fill the small bowl. That bowl didn't exist and what happened last night, again? That's right, nothing.

I put on pink flats and looked at Hime, who stared up at me.

"Can I trust you to be alone today?" I asked, digging my finger in the back of the flats so my foot could slip in easily.

I couldn't take him to the salon, obviously, so I could only hope he would behave. He meowed loudly, as he always did when I addressed him.

"Because I swear if I come back and this place is fucked up, you and I are gonna play the Lion King on the balcony," I said. "Got it, Simba?"

He meowed again, completely unaware of my threat. He looked up at me as I left the apartment, watching me closely as I closed the door. The cool air hit me instantly as I locked up, and I almost went inside to go get a jacket; there was no snow and the sun was out, but the wind was crisp and harsh. But ambivalence consumed me, my head egged me to stay outside, go without the jacket. The harsh wind kept my thoughts off how completely fucking stupid I was. I groaned, remembering why I was embarrassed in the first place, face palming at the memory.

No, it didn't happen. Nope, nope, nope.

I had plenty of time before I was needed at the salon, so I drifted around town aimlessly, passing by shops. I looked through the windows, seeing what they had on display, thinking about whether or not I'd buy their products. I paid attention to the strange energy in the air as I eyed pieces of clothing in the windows, wondering where the energy came from. It seemed to linger in the city. I could trace its source to somewhere a few cities over, as if it had been growing, expanding. It was strange, though, since I hadn't felt it since this morning. I stopped pondering on why the energy was lurking in the air, and wandered around the streets, holding my bare arms in an attempt to shield them from the harsh wind that came every so often.

At around nine, I passed by the tattoo parlor. I stopped in front of it and looked in through the large window beside the door. There was some art on the walls but I couldn't see any from here. As I squinted, pressing my face slightly against the window, I felt a presence behind me. I turned to find a large, burly man. He had to be in his early 40's; he had a thick, black leather jacket and jeans. Not someone I'd expect to own this place, I thought as I dipped in his head. But I could see some tattoo's peaking out from his jacket's collar, on his neck, stopping under his chin.

That wasn't socially acceptable in Japan. I wondered if many places served him.

"Move along, girly," he said, pulling out a pair of keys. His voice was harsh and overpowering, it made me feel like I was in trouble, being reprimanded. His greyish-brown mustache wiggled above his upper lip while he talked, his cigarette mysteriously kept in place in the corner of his mouth, "You're underage."

"I have cash," I said, words flying out of my mouth without much thought.

He stared at me as he walked past me, opening the shop. I walked in behind him, inviting myself inside. His aura wasn't threatening.

"It'll cost you extra," he said, tapping on some binders as he walked past a desk.

"That's fine," I said as I grabbed a few binders.

"Find your artist and if I like what you want, I'll let you set an appointment," he said as I dipped into his head, hearing his comments about how my daddy must be rich if I was offering to pay cash. He had no idea.

I nodded, taking the binders and sifting through them. After about a half hour of comparing their handwriting sections, I set the binder of the artist I wanted aside and he picked it up.

"C'mon," he said, nodding his head as he walked across the open parlor and into a small hallway.

I was hesitant at first, but his thoughts weren't threatening. I followed him across the parlor and into the hallway, coming into a small office. He took off his jacket and set it on the chair. Now, he looked like someone who owned this place. His white tank top stood out in great contrast against his body art. I could barely see any skin underneath his colorful ink, the only skin that seemed untouched was his face and hands, but I was sure if I stared long enough I'd find untouched, visible skin. I watched as he sifted through items on the desk and picked up a paper and pencil from behind a small picture frame that stood on the side of the desk.

"Put down a quick sketch," he handed me the paper and a pencil. "Then I'll ask you what it's about and I'll decide from there."

I took the paper from him and quickly wrote down the dates in Roman Numerals. It took less than fifteen seconds for me to scribble them out. Year, month, day, descending them in chronological order. I handed it to him and he scanned over it.

"Dates?" He asked. "First one."

For a second, I began to regret putting myself in this situation. I didn't think it was much of his business, but I was making it his business... It took a while for me to open my mouth.

Before I could say anything, his overpowering voice crashed down on me, spiking my headache, "I'm negotiating an illegal act; I should know what I'm risking jail for."

"July 31st," I said quickly, my voice quiet. He was right. Besides, I was getting the dates tattooed on my body, available for everyone to see when I chose to wear certain clothing. But the dates were for _me_, not everyone else and their curiosity. "The day I was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic."

His face faltered a bit, but he regained composure as he looked down at the next date, "October 20th."

"The day my brother committed suicide," I felt a shift in the man's aura, his thoughts silent, but there was an unusual feeling in the air.

"This recent date…"

"Father's death," I replied.

I was still torn about my father, but regardless of how I ended up feeling about his death, I understood one main thing: he had enough humanity left in him to atone for the atrocities he'd committed, that meant my father was still there. But I was unsure of how I was meant to take his death. Rejoice or mourn?

He set the paper down on his desk and pulled out a small planner, opening it up and finding the current month.

"Choose a time in my availability that's open," he said.

I wasn't surprised that my reasons were accepted. I began to write down my name at the time and day as I found it on the planner, and I handed the small book to him when I finished. While he scanned over the appointment, I looked around the room. Something caught my eye as I turned back to the man. A small chair in the corner of the room with a small, pink Hawaiin-style-short sleeved shirt laying over it, and instead of the typical flowers plastered in a pattern… it was a pattern of cats. Orange, white, grey, black, calico… just sitting cats plastered in patterns. I snorted a laugh as I saw looked up from the planner, interested in what I was laughing at. He looked over his shoulder.

"That's my wife's," he said, turning back to the planner.

Uh-huh, I thought as I laughed.

"She passed away over a year ago," he said as my face dropped. "Suicide."

That was the unusual feeling. A feeling of mutual experience. I saw the images pass through his head, memories. A still-born's body that he cradled in the hospital, and his wife's small figure, lying in bed at what I assumed was their home, with an empty pill bottle next to her. Postpartum depression.

I looked up at him curiously as he said, "Take it."

What? The shirt?

"But that's—"

"I'm sick of looking at it and I have plenty to remember her by," he said harshly. "Besides, it'd fit you, and it's cold outside. The hell's wrong with you, anyways? Walking around in a thin piece of clothing when it's close to sixty out."

I raised a curious eyebrow and went over to pick up the shirt, not wanting to argue with a man that was about five times my size. I turned around to see him as I picked up the shirt carefully, wary of why I was given it. As I looked over to him, I saw the picture on his desk of his late wife. She was pretty. She had to have been in her late 30's, short black hair that grazed her shoulders, small crows feet's set next to her eyes from stress, and a proud, goofy, dark red lipsticked grin that stood out against her white teeth.

"What was her name?" I asked, stepping up next to the desk.

"Yayoi," he replied.

"That's a pretty name," I mumbled, looking at her picture.

He stayed silent for a second, looking at her photo, and then turned down to the planner.

"Yue, Satomi?" He asked, reading off the planner as I held onto the shirt.

I looked over to him and nodded.

"Kobayashi, Kentaro," he replied. "Your payment is in cash, don't be late."

I nodded, bowing my head a bit in respect and acknowledgement.

"Now get outta here before I have appointments, you're underage and I don't need to hear any lip from others," he said.

I nodded a bit as I walked towards the exit; his voice was still harsh and overpowering, scary. But his thoughts were the complete opposite, he admired me. I didn't like that at all. I didn't feel worthy of being admired, I was just an emotional high school girl. He had lost his child and wife, and was able to move on with his life. When I lost someone, I sat unresponsive.

* * *

I tugged on the collar of the cat shirt, adjusting it so it'd lay flat. It fit me just fine. Kobayashi's late wife had the body of a fifteen year old. If that sex game wasn't raw I didn't know what would be. I made it to the shop with time to spare, but time passed by and Shizuru didn't show. I looked up at the salon name, making sure I was at the right place. She's just a bit late. As I turned away from the store's name, Shizuru walked up nonchalantly with a cigarette in her mouth.

"What's with that shirt?" She asked, looking at the cats.

"A gift," I smiled nervously, a little sweat drop falling.

"Kazuma would like it," she noted dryly as she unlocked the door and let me inside the shop.

I walked inside, towards the little booths where all the chairs stood. I liked it in here.

"Did you bring any music?" She asked. I remembered the CD's I shoved into my purse and took them out. "Good, go put one in before Yuki gets here because I can't take that zen crap anymore. I'll listen to anything but that."

I went over to the CD player and put a random CD in. It was hard to tell what CD had what songs on them because I didn't mark them; they were color coded to what songs were my favorites. This was a yellow CD, so I had some favorite songs on here. I pressed play and she looked at me curiously, but thought anything was better than Yuki's choice in music.

_I've just closed my eyes again _

_Climbed aboard the dream weaver train _

_Driver take away my worries of today _

_And leave tomorrow behind_

I helped Shizuru open the salon and she took me to my own booth.

"After you buy your own hair products, this one will be yours," she said.

"You mean the scissors and everything?" I asked. She looked down at me.

"I'll make you a list," she said, knowing I didn't know what I'd need. "For now, you'll practice."

"Don't I need some sort of licence or schooling to work here?" I asked.

She shrugged, she honestly did not care about that.

She went into the back of the salon and came back with a mannequin head. It had long, bright red hair, and she in front of me on the small counter. For the next two hours, until Shizuru's first appointment came in, she taught me how to cut hair a certain way and into certain styles. Starting with long hair first, then progressed to medium length hair as she ran out of ideas and styles for long hair. I caught on quick, which was good.

I messed up once, cutting the hair at an awkward angle. I became a bit flustered because I had been doing fine so far.

"Crying won't do anything to fix the hair," she said bluntly. "Cut it again, make the length shorter now."

My eyes weren't even watering!

"I won't cry," I huffed, taking the hair between my index and middle finger and pulling it to lay flat so I could trim it in a straight line.

But she asked to me stop while she tended to her customer. I decided to utilize the time and do my make-up.

I dug in my purse after I took off the short-sleeved cat shirt and found my mascara and eyeliner. Within a few minutes of applying eyeliner, I heard the woman Shizuru was dealing with at her booth. The old lady was mumbling to her about me. I could see her in the mirror as I applied my eyeliner. Short, shoulder length black hair, thin rimmed glasses over her almond-shaped eyes.

"You let the yakuza in here?" I heard her mumble.

What?

I squinted, irritated, giving the back of the old woman's head a dirty look through the mirror.

What the fuck?

I saw Shizuru turn to look at me in the mirror's reflection.

"I saw her walking out of that tattoo parlor," the old woman hissed quietly. "That place is crawling with thugs. Have you seen the owner?"

"She's a girl, frail and small, and couldn't hurt a fly if she wanted to," Shizuru defended me calmly as she continued to cut the woman's hair. I heard Shizuru's thoughts, thinking that the fly would probably break me instead. "Do you think the yakuza would want anything to do with her?"

The old woman grumbled some more complaints, and Shizuru waited until the woman's hair was taken care of to talk to me. She waited for the old woman to step up to the cash register before nodding her head towards the back exit. She was upset with me.

"Be more careful with where you go," she said, lighting a cigarette as we stepped outside of the salon, in the back ally. "I don't care what you do, because I know you're not like that, but old people like to talk. We cater to women, many of them are older."

"Sorry about that," I said as I put on the shirt.

The salon had a little heater, plus two other people in the building, it was much warmer inside. I noticed the lighter, black with a faint gold rim, initialed S.N. I looked at it for a second, and she caught my stare.

"It's fine," she said, quickly putting it in her pocket.

That belonged to Sakyo, I saw his scarred face flicker through her head quickly as she wondered if I knew whose lighter this was. She nodded for me to go back into the store, finished with my little lecture. I thought about what kind of relationship she had with him before going back inside.

During her off time in between appointments, she continued to teach me how to cut certain hairstyles. The sun was close to setting and I had finished giving the mannequin a pixie cut. I imitated what I had seen Shizuru do yesterday, dragging my fingers through the hair lightly, and listened as the track changed.

_My mother and my brothers used to breathe in clean in air _

_And dreaming I'm a doctor _

_It's hard to be a man when there's a gun in your hand_

"I finished the mannequin," I said to Shizuru, and she told me to clean up.

I finished sweeping up the fallen hair as someone entered the salon, frantic. As much as I enjoyed that person, their presence was nothing but nails on a chalkboard, because they'd only be here for one thing.

"Satomi!" I heard the familiar voice as I dumped the hair into a trash can.

I looked over to find Botan in a junior high school uniform.

Oh boy, here we go, I sighed.

"There you are!" She came up to me, shoving a paper in my face. "Read this."

I took the paper and skimmed through the words, my eye twitching at the mentioning of my name in print.

"What the hell is this?" I said, holding it up in her face. "Why is my name here? ...Who kidnapped Yusuke?"

"We don't know, but we need you to help us find Kurama and Hiei," she said.

My stomach churned at the thought of Hiei, working in the salon all day had kept my mind off him and the stupid thing I did last night.

"Where's Kuwabara?" I asked.

"Outside," she whispered in my ear.

I realized she whispered because she didn't want to get Shizuru involved.

"Oh, I'm surprised he's still at school," I said casually.

Botan's smile turned feline as she nodded.

"Shizuru-" I turned to ask her when I was off.

She didn't exactly give me a time that I was working until. But she knew something was happening.

"Go on," she said, looking over at me. She knew I was lying when I mentioned Kuwabara's fake alibi. "I'll call you for your next shift."

I nodded and grabbed my purse, running to keep up with Botan as we left the salon.

"Where's Kurama?" Kuwabara asked as we ran a bit past the store.

"School," I replied, feeling a bit lightheaded as I pushed my legs to keep up with them. I really needed to eat something. "It's a few train stops from here."

We turned a corner as Kuwabara led us towards the train station, and I stopped running, remembering something.

"What's wrong?" Kuwabara asked as he and Botan stopped running and looked back at me. "Come on!"

"Thanks," I said. Kuwabara seemed confused. "For carrying me after the stadium and stuff..."

"Oh," Kuwabara rubbed the back of his neck and then grinned, placing his foot on some mysterious pedestal that appeared. "No need to thank the great Kazuma Kuwabara for his deeds."

I looked over to Botan, finding the same exasperated look that was plastered on my face on hers.

* * *

As we stepped in front of Meioh's campus, Kuwabara started sprinting into the front doors, yelling out Kurama's name. I was on the train with him for almost an hour and it never crossed my mind to tell him Kurama's human name. I assumed he knew what to call him. I guess not.

"Wait, Kuwabara!" I called, running after him.

He kept calling him Kurama, not his human name. Botan ran behind me as we followed Kuwabara. I tried catching up to him to make him shut up, but with each step I could hear the acid in my stomach bubbling around, washing up the walls of my stomach to form a sickly feeling.

"KURAMA!" Kuwabara continued to yell as he reached the second floor.

"Kuwabara," I yelled, now close behind him. "Shut up!"

I turned the corner, following Kuwabara, and found Kurama's red head in the small crowd of people in the hallway.

"Kuwabara?" Kurama asked, surprised.

He had heard Kuwabara's loud voice from the first floor, I was sure. Kurama looked over to me, and as I gasped for breath, we held a silent conversation on why I didn't tell Kuwabara his human name. I shrugged, now wheezing to hold back some stomach acid from crawling up my throat, I assumed he knew.

"Kurama?" a young man with glasses asked, standing behind Kurama.

"Its just a nick name," Kurama laughed nervously.

He turned to Kuwabara as I walked up next to Kurama. He leaned in close to Kuwabara, and whispered, "I'm called Minamino here."

"I'm sorry, but here," he shoved the paper in Kurama's face, just as Botan had done to me. "Look at this. We have six hours left before 11. Do you know where Hiei is?"

Kurama looked down at me, and a harsh burn covered my face, turning it red.

"I don't know," I replied quietly.

"Can't you look for him with your..." Botan asked, trailing off, not wanting to say anything around the people that walked past us in the hallway.

I didn't want to look for him, but I did anyways. I tried locating his aura, focusing on the familiar presence, but failed.

I said, "I think he's blocking my attempt at finding him."

"Is that possible?" Kuwabara asked.

"It's possible; it may be..." I trailed off, tapping the center of my forehead.

I felt so stupid... the fact that he was blocking my attempt at finding him. As if I _wanted _to find him after last night. Argh! The only reason why I was so embarrassed was because he didn't say anything; he didn't react or do anything, let alone kiss back. He just stared down at me, irritated. Rejection at its finest.

I knew I couldn't pry into his head, but this was the first time I couldn't find anyone I knew. I tried once more, upset at how he could slip past my locating. But there was nothing but a few images that passed by in my head that were hard to form, images that flashed from the emptiness in my head, quick spurts. A park.

"He's at a park," I said, turning Botan's attention to me. "That's the most I can pick up."

"I've some ideas!" Botan said confidently. "Don't worry!"

* * *

An hour later we made it to the park I saw in the images, I was looking around at the landscape and the small play structure a few feet away, trying to reassure myself this was the one I saw. Botan set down a large briefcase that held a bunch of weird items. She rummaged through the case, picking out items that could have been useful if we had other things to help, like a strand of hair or something. Finally, she dug through the briefcase and pulled out a whistle.

"This should work," she sighed, a hint of desperation tainted her words.

I began searching for his aura again, irked that he was able to suppress it before.

"Hey," Kuwabara's voice broke through my concentration. I looked over to him, he seemed a bit excited at the sight of my shirt. "Where'd you get that shirt?"

I'd been standing next to him for, like, two or three hours, and he_ just_ noticed.

"It was a gift," I responded as Kurama looked down at my shirt, he seemed to find it amusing. "Oh, shut up. You have a questionable sense of fashion outside of your uniform."

Kurama coughed into his balled fist, and Botan dragged our attention towards her.

"We can call him using this," she said as I tried searching for Hiei's aura again. "Cover your ears."

The small screeching sound that emitted from the whistle cut my search short, it was like nails on a chalkboard.

"I don't hear anything," Kuwabara said.

"Stop blowing!" I said, covering my ears.

It wasn't loud, but it was irritating. Kurama covered his ears, noting how horrible the sound was. I was sure he heard what I was hearing, only much louder, much worse. Finally, Botan stopped blowing into the whistle, and my body shook slightly, chills ran down my spine, goosebumps appeared on my arms in irritation from the noise. I had a strong urge to break that obnoxious whistle. I stood up and looked around, searching for Hiei's aura again. He wasn't blocking it anymore.

"He's here," I said as I turned around.

Botan sighed with relief as a figure dropped from the tree above us, a loud thud following soon after.

"Is this guy an insect?" Kuwabara muttered.

I laughed a bit at his comment, but realized that it was night time, and he was in a tree. Aw, shit. I really messed up last night if he wasn't going to return like he always did.

"What was that loud noise?" Hiei asked, rubbing his head.

He looked up and found the four of us standing close to him. I slowly shifted my body to hide behind Kurama's, still embarrassed. But Kurama moved towards Hiei, bringing me into view again. Get back here and hide me, Kurama, or so help me I'll—

"You all again," Hiei sighed.

"Look," Kurama handed him the note that had been passed around to each of us.

Hiei scanned over it and scoffed, "Pitiful. After he won the tournament he thought he was the best. He should know there's always someone stronger."

"And it doesn't interest you?" Kurama asked. "Don't you want to know who beat Yusuke?"

"No, it's not my problem," Hiei said, walking away.

"Yusuke could be dead!" Botan yelled at him. "Don't you care?"

Yusuke wasn't dead. I was sure I'd feel the shift in auras if Yusuke died, just as I had with Genkai.

"No," he turned around. "I don't. I'm not here to fix his mistakes."

"But if..." Kurama pondered for a second. "There was a new power."

"Botan, you mentioned something about it being humans?" Kuwabara asked.

Everyone suddenly turned to me, staring me down. It made me uncomfortable, having all eyes on me. I wanted them to stop looking at me. They knew I had nothing to do with this, but because I was human and had a certain ability...

"Human's possessing supernatural powers," Kurama said, shifting his gaze from me back towards Hiei.

Now I had a feeling why my name was on that paper.

"And you're saying those humans kidnapped Yusuke?" Hiei asked, taking the attention off me.

"Yes. So if you help us find Yusuke, I'll get the Spirit World off your back!" Botan said.

He looked at Botan for a few seconds, pondering on her offer, "If I'm exonerated, I'll do it."

* * *

We found the house in time, but as I stepped up to the property, I felt uneasy. There was something off, something eerie that I couldn't put my finger on. My heart started beating faster, jumping into my throat, anticipating the unknown. The look of the house was extravagant and unusual. It reminded me of a Picasso painting, something awkward and overdone. There were eyes painted on the house, the structure created awkwardly as portions of the house protruded outwards at awkward angles.

"Botan, Satomi," Kuwabara said. "You both stay here; you never know what might happen."

"No, we're going," Botan spoke up for me. "You've lost your powers and if something happens to me then Satomi has enough Spirit Energy to use my items."

I didn't think much of her comment about Kuwabara, he seemed the same to me.

"Besides," I started dejectedly, steadying my breath before speaking. "My name's on that paper. They wanted us all there."

Yusuke wasn't exactly a friend of mine, but I'd hate to be the only one that refused to go and cause him harm.

"It's a pure wonder why your name's on there," Hiei scoffed.

The sensation of pins and needles formed in my cheeks and I stepped closer to Kurama, trying to ignore Hiei, as we walked towards the front door. I couldn't tell if it was his usual insult, or if he was intentionally trying to make me feel ten times more embarrassed. I saw a sign and walked faster than the rest of them to get closer to it, dual feelings of wanting to be the first to read it and get away from Hiei.

"What's it say?" Kuwabara peered over my shoulder.

"Whoever enters this house must never say the word..." I trailed off, not wanting to say it even though I wasn't in the house yet.

Fear based decision making, and I wasn't even inside yet.

"Why can't we say hot?" Kuwabara asked, reading over my shoulder.

"We'll find out," Kurama said, walking past us and opening the door.

I stepped inside alongside Kurama, and a huge wave of energy hit me like a tsunami, forcing me to back up a few spaces. Kuwabara moved out of my way as I stepped backwards, taking in the new environment. It was like a territory, a space all it's own. But what worried me more than anything wasn't the strange space itself.

I couldn't feel any auras while inside.


	23. Moon Theory

**A/N: **I have my last exam today. u_u I now have three weeks to regain my sanity and improve mental health before the hell called "summer courses" start. I hope to update more frequently in those three weeks. Hope all of your finals went/are going great. Don't forget, you can always give me some constructive criticism, I'm always up for changing something I've done wrong.

* * *

I had adjusted to feeling auras, it felt awkward and unnerving to not feel any at all. It was like I was stripped naked and put on display. I was unable to sense anyone near me, completely vulnerable. Before, I would know if someone was around me. Now, I felt strangely... alone. I remembered Botan's words about Kuwabara a few minutes ago, I had ignored them since his aura felt the same.

But if he had really lost his spirit energy then he had to be feeling more vulnerable than me. If he was, he didn't show it.

"Satomi," Kurama addressed me as he stood in the doorway, turning towards me. I stood on the porch of the house, unnerved about the strange energy. "Are you okay?"

"Don't you feel that?" I asked, forcing my legs to move towards him.

"Yes, it's a totally absurd space," Kurama replied as I saw a figure of a teenager come from behind a bookcase.

The room was dimly lit and wide. Despite how large the room actually was, it felt small since there were multiple, large bookcases situated throughout the room, with plants around the perimeter. The figure seemed to take up too much space in the open area between bookcases.

"He's with the three guys that approached Yusuke!" Kuwabara called him out.

I stepped to the side, getting a better look at the figure as I waited for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting.

"Kaito," Kurama addressed the familiar boy as I tried to place his face.

I'd seen him at Meiou and his name was familiar... Oh, exam scoreboards.

"The one that always places beneath you on the exam scoreboards," I noted to Kurama.

Kaito's face twitched with annoyance. He knew of me, but couldn't say anything about my scores since we were in different years. We were ranked by class.

"You know this guy, too?" Kuwabara asked me.

"He goes to Meiou," I replied. "He's in Kurama's class. I just saw his name on the exam scoreboards."

"Tell me, how did you know about us?" Kurama inquired.

"Someone informed us that you've won the Dark Tournament," Kaito said as he sat down behind a small desk in the middle of the room and looked up at Kurama. That was a while ago, you've got a horrible messenger, Kaito. "Minamino, you're amazing, not only are you gifted in school but you have amazing powers."

I couldn't sense a shift in aura, or see Kurama's face, but his shoulders tensed slightly. His demeanor changed instantly.

"Don't you want to demonstrate your plant powers?" He asked.

I tried reading Kaito's mind to find out whom the messenger was, but I missed that thought. Now, he was just jealous of Kurama. I could tell by watching his memories of receiving his test scores, seeing the exam scoreboards. At least I could dip into his head, that hadn't been robbed of me.

"I've recently found out I have powers of my own and wish to demonstrate them," Kaito said, gesturing to the three boys. "That's why I invited you all."

He stopped talking and turned to me, pondering for a second, "But you, Satomi, you're a special guest. And the blue haired girl you've brought with you was quite unexpected as well."

I didn't like my name coming out of his mouth, but I guess it was better that he didn't know I could pry into his head so easily. If he knew I could pry, he didn't care; he was careless and overconfident right now. He'd slip up and I'd catch it. I became confident, I had an upper hand regardless of whether or not he knew I could read him. Mentioning that "someone" that told him about the boys, someone had to have flickered through his mind and that was a careless mistake. The only saving grace for him was that I decided to pry at the wrong time.

I had a feeling though, since he referred to the Dark Tournament... It wasn't like I was a part of it, so he shouldn't have known me. I assumed Daddy still had a few friends.

"What do you mean special guest?" I asked, but Hiei interrupted me.

"This idiot doesn't know who he's messing with," He walked past me.

"I'd like to see who I'm messing with," Kaito taunted as he picked up a book from the desk he sat in front of.

Hiei vanished instantly, provoked by Kaito's calm, taunting attitude. But only seconds later, a sharp object flew past my face, missing my cheek by inches, and stuck into the wall behind me. I jumped, scared, and inched away from the broken blade that protruded from the wall. His sword...

"But you're wasting your time, because this place only allows for my powers," Kaito said, still calm. I wanted to speak up and scare him, tell him he was wrong, because I could still pry into his mind. But I chose to keep my advantage a secret. "So, Hiei, while you may be a master of swordsmanship and magic, you're nothing but an ant in here."

"Hiei," Kurama addressed him in an attempt to stop Hiei's actions, knowing he was provoked.

"C'mon, he's provoking you," I said my voice quiet as I was still embarrassed around him.

But I had to say something because I knew where this was going; he'd fall into temptation.

"So, if I say 'hot' you think you can kill me?" Hiei smirked, ignoring our protests.

Well, can't say I didn't try.

A blue light enveloped Hiei, trapping him in place, and soon the small blue light traveled over to Kaito's hand, levitating freely, glowing. I looked at Hiei, waiting for movement, but he stood still, and in the lighting I couldn't help but believe he had turned to stone. I couldn't delve into his head, so I couldn't tell if he was alive. My heart began pounding at the thought. Was he dead?

"So Yusuke is on the first floor," Kaito said, holding the blue light in his hand carefully. "And Hiei's soul is in my hand. I'll tell you now, anyone in my territory plays by my rules. So you have two choices: go back, or fight."

"No, there's a third choice," Kuwabara perked up, and Botan and I looked at him curiously, my heart still pounding. "We leave Hiei behind and move on without him!"

Botan fell over and my hand found its way to my forehead, "You can't just leave him like that!"

"Of course we can," he replied. "He always does what he wants and he didn't even listen to your warning!"

"You're horrible, Kuwabara!" Botan chided.

"That's actually a good choice," Kaito replied.

"It's fine because I'm ready," I heard a voice from the hallway behind Kaito.

I looked past Kaito to find a young man with tall, pale blue hair standing in front of a door painted with question marks. Kuwabara puffed out his chest as he marched up to the guy and demanded for the key to the door. The tall haired boy was still shorter than Kuwabara... I had never noticed how tall Kuwabara was before. Everyone was taller than me, it wasn't something I tried measuring anymore.

I expected him to bring out the spirit sword I saw him use at the tournament, but instead when the tall haired boy refused calmly, Kuwabara's instincts seemed to take over. The tall haired boy knew he was protected here, and Kuwabara's fist connected with a barrier instantly, inches away from the boy's face.

Had Kuwabara really lost his spirit energy or had his instincts just taken over? I couldn't tell if Kuwabara had actually thought about using his spirit energy or not, I couldn't read him.

Kuwabara returned to us, flexing his injured hand, mumbling curses. We had to play by their rules here. I didn't really mind, because I was quiet by nature. It wouldn't be hard to keep my mouth shut. The only problem was if I was the only one left. I'd have to move on without everyone because I didn't know how I'd defeat Kaito. Hopefully I wouldn't be put in that position.

An hour passed and we sat in chairs around Kaito, waiting. Kurama sat next to me, pondering on a plan. Kurama and Kaito seemed to be the only ones unaffected by the heat. Botan, Kuwabara and I sat around bitching, waving our hands in front of our faces in an attempt to push around a breeze. It was hot, humid. I sighed and took off the cat shirt, folding it in my lap as I waited, trying to sort through the territory.

No avail, but I continued regardless, trying to focus on Kuwabara's aura. There was no change in anything surrounding me, I couldn't feel anything in here, it was unsettling. Botan's words about Kuwabara's energy stuck in my head as he became irritated from the heat and situation.

"Kurama, who's this guy?" Kuwabara snapped, sitting on a chair on the other side of Kurama.

"He's won essays in literature and philosophy," Kurama said.

"He's known as a word specialist..." I cut in, remembering some teachers talk about him. It was really an excuse to try and talk to Kuwabara about what Botan said, "By the way."

Kuwbara looked over to me as I wagged my foot from my seat for his attention. It hadn't completely registered before, and I couldn't feel a difference while outside a territory, but I was a bit curious. The words were bothering me now.

"What did Botan mean?" I asked. "About earlier, outside."

Despite his sudden "loss of spirit energy," I couldn't read his mind. I was never able to do so to begin with, so I didn't think he'd actually lost anything.

"It probably isn't a good idea to discuss a weakness in front of your enemy," Kurama cut in as Kuwabara was about to answer.

I didn't think it mattered much since Kuwabara wouldn't be able to use his sword in here anyways, we had to play by Kaito's rules. But Kuwabara listened, and I decided I'd ask later. I personally didn't think he'd lost any energy. His aura felt no different while we were outside, which was why I hadn't said anything about Botan's strange comment until now. But then, if he could have, wouldn't he have tried using that sword of his while in here? He hadn't bothered with it once.

We stayed silent a while more, but it was getting hotter by the second. I hated heat, it always made me sleepy. Though, I couldn't sleep through this since it was so humid, the air was thick and wet.

"Uuuuugh. Why's it so-" I stopped, remembering not to say the word. "Humid..."

"This heat is horrible," Botan waved both hands in front of her face now. "It's getting worse by the second."

I felt my back stick to the back of the chair, sweat stuck to my back in an attempt to keep me seated, a slimy feeling of release rested on my skin as I pulled away. I leaned forward, completely disgusted with the heat and humidity. The thick, warm air made me nauseous, it was a bit hard to breathe. When was the last time I ate?

"There are drinks in the fridge if you're thirsty," Kaito offered.

"Yeah, with truth serum," Kuwabara scoffed. I sighed, wondering where Kuwabara's train of thought was going with that. "Drink first!"

"I didn't even think about that!" Kaito chuckled a bit, and I dipped into his head instantly, not wanting to miss a thought. "You're quite smart."

Kaito had no reason to get any "truth" from us, which was peculiar. What was the point of holding Yusuke captive?

"I'll get them!" Botan offered as she walked to the fridge.

She wanted to be near the cold air when the doors opened. She sighed in relief when she felt the cool air hit her, and I envied her. I began to get up to join her in being close to the cool air when she asked Kuwabara if he wanted an orange juice. He asked for two straws so they could share one.

"What about you, Satomi?" She asked.

"Wate—" I stopped talking as the familiar blue light surrounded Kuwabara.

I jumped away from my seat, furthering myself from Kuwabara as if the soul-stealing light was contagious, wondering why his soul was being taken. He stood still, the blue light enveloping him and then fluttering over to Kaito. His soul joined Hiei's. He didn't even say it, I thought, even avoiding the word in my thoughts.

"That's not fair!" Botan yelled. "He didn't even say 'hot'!"

She gasped and slapped her fingertips over her mouth. My hand flew to my forehead as I watched as the process happened to Botan, her soul flew over quickly to perch next to Kuwabara's.

I sat down on the chair slowly, more concerned about Kuwabara's soul since he hadn't actually said the word.

I looked over to Kurama, who stared at me patiently. I didn't understand why at first, but then I remembered I could push emotions and thoughts around. The territory may have robbed me of auras but the mind was still something I could seep into. I looked over to Kaito. Did I really want to do that? I didn't know how he'd react to it. The doctor and most of the hospital staff deserved it, as did Kaito, but each staff member reacted differently. I didn't want to find out how Kaito would react.

"I wouldn't recommend pushing anything in my head," he said, watching me.

So he was aware of my abilities. That meant he'd been choosing his thoughts carefully.

I nodded slightly, and pulled my feet up onto the chair, my knees against my chest.

"Why was Kuwabara's soul taken?" Kurama asked.

"You can't say compound words with the taboo word," he explained. "And you can't say any word that has the sound of the taboo word."

I could keep my mouth shut, it's fine. I just wouldn't talk at all, which normally wasn't a problem, but I needed to communicate with Kurama. Kurama was a demon, despite being merged in a human body he was still, obviously, much stronger than me. I couldn't communicate with him telepathically like I could a normal human. There was a mental block of aura, energy that prevented my head from prying. Kurama sat down in the chair closest to Kaito, and despite the new rules we'd found out, he was still calm.

I turned my attention back to Kaito, debating on how I'd go about toying with his psyche. It was a dangerous thing to do, especially under the circumstances. For all I knew, I could get us stuck inside the territory, he could randomly create a new taboo word in his mental distress that even he wasn't aware of; there was the endless possibility of the unknown. I had no idea how this awkward area worked.

But Kurama had thought of something first, and spoke up.

"Don't bother trying anything," he said, referring to Kaito hurting the souls.

Kurama's whole demeanor changed instantly. Before, he was reserved, patient. Now...

"Finally serious," Kaito smiled eagerly.

Whatever Kurama chose to do, I'd roll with. Kurama was tactful, I could go off his plan easier than creating one of my own.

"Can you change the taboo word?" Kurama asked.

"I've been wanting to but..." Kaito turned to me. I felt uneasy because he wanted me to slip and say the taboo word. "I was more interested in playing while it was just us two."

"Satomi stays here," Kurama said and I began to feel a bit worried. Did he not think he could beat Kaito? Is that why he didn't want me to slip up? He couldn't have doubts in a situation like this. "Let me pick the taboo word and I bet I can make you say it in twenty six minutes."

I looked over to Kaito, who was disappointed in Kurama wanting me to stay. He was eager to prove he was capable of beating Kurama. Sticking around proved for an unfair advantage, and I knew this because if I wanted, I could delve into Kaito's mind and play with his psyche by sending him emotions and images. I knew where Kurama was going with his proposed game, and if I wanted to play with Kaito's psyche, it wouldn't be fair. Kurama was capable of putting Kaito in his place on his own, and that's exactly what needed to happen.

I trusted Kurama would win.

"I'll say it," I piped up.

Kurama and Kaito both turned to me, wide eyed, though Kaito's eyes were strange to see that open.

"That'd make it a fair game," I said, and turned to Kaito. "I'd end up toying with your head to make you lose if I stuck around. That wouldn't be a fair game."

"You trust him quite a bit to risk your life," Kaito mused.

"Well, yeah," I replied, my arms shaking a bit in anticipation. I wondered how it felt to leave your body without technically dying. "Besides, I'm not worried. He always scores above you, this time won't be different."

"Satomi—" Kurama tried interrupting me, but I continued talking, taking some amusement in Kaito's irritated facial twitches.

I turned to Kurama, "You better win, because if you don't I'll be _pissed_."

"Sato—"

"Well, I'm already mad. It's too hot in here for me. I hate heat."

My vision turned blue for a few seconds as everything became blurrier. Darkness consumed as a cooling sensation surrounded my body, my soul was leaving to take its place next to Botan's.

* * *

All sense of time had been lost, and as I blinked, I saw what used to be a dimly lit book room turned into a lush, green jungle. Curious, I looked around, wondering what I had missed. The heat was horrid, only having increased since I left due to the copious amount of plants. I looked around the room and found Kurama walking towards me, keys in his hands.

"Don't do that," he said calmly as he handed me two keys.

"Do what?" I asked as I absentmindedly took the keys.

I had no idea what he wanted me to do with these.

"Unlock the doors," he instructed me as I stood up, a bit shaky.

My knees were weak, but the feeling in them returned quickly as I forced myself to walk towards the question marked door. I soon stopped walking, and turned to face him, still confused.

"Don't do what?" I asked. "Don't unlock the doors?"

"Don't jump into something recklessly like that," he replied, his voice was surprisingly calm.

"You won, didn't you?" I pointed out, looking around for Kaito's stone body. "So what's the matter?"

"I needed you there to move on without us if I didn't win."

"Sorry. I trusted that you'd win."

I thought he was upset, but his calm voice proved otherwise. Besides, if he'd lost then what did he expect me to do? Who knows what would happen after this. I may end up being completely useless... as always.

"Unlock the doors while I return everyone's souls," He instructed me again as he picked up what I presumed was Kuwabara's soul, and I did as he requested.

I stepped over the tall haired boy as I made my way in front of the door. I stood in front of it for a while, fiddling with the keys for a few seconds before finding the right one for the first door. First door: unlocked. I walked up to the second one and used the key. It didn't budge. What the hell? I looked at the keys in my hands. Fake keys? Just to be sure, I put the other key in the hole, and the key slid in easily, unlocking the door. Oh. Oops. I laughed a bit as I opened the door, realizing I used the wrong key. Second door: unlocked.

I walked up to the third and read the handwritten sign on the door. _Anyone who forces this door without Yanagisawa's consent will cause damage to Urameshi. _I took the sign off the door and tried feeling for an aura, some sort of energy that connected to the door. But it seemed that Kaito's territory was still prominent. I walked back into the other room to find everyone but Kaito with their souls in their bodies. I walked up to Kurama and handed him the note.

"I don't sense any foul play," I said quietly as he took the note from me, my stomach churning from the lack of food. "But then again, I can't sense anything through this territory."

"It's fine," he reassured me as he stepped over to the tall haired boy. "We'll make due."

Hiei stayed quiet behind him as Botan and Kurama interrogated the tall haired boy, Yanagisawa, when he woke up. I knew Hiei was embarrassed for messing up, jumping into a battle and playing around with the taboo word; he had a strange expression on his face as he let Kurama take charge of instructions.

I looked down towards Yanagisawa and waited for him to get up, and his unfiltered thoughts entered my head.

I clicked my tongue against my teeth as I walked back towards the third door, waiting for Yanagisawa to open it, "Nothing's wrong with the door at all, it's just locked."

Yanagisawa looked down at me as he opened to the door, a bit unnerved, and tried clearing his head. Whoever was behind this had told them what I could do, and trained them briefly to filter their thoughts. I looked over to everyone else as we clambered into a hallway. Hiei's eyes met mine briefly, but he knew not to say anything.

You're useful for once, he wanted to taunt. But he kept his mouth shut because I could easily put his previous failure on blast, reminding everyone how useless he was almost thirty minutes ago. But regardless of whether or not I could trump his taunt, I still wasn't in the mood for pins and needles in my cheeks.

Yanagisawa led us down the bright, wooden hallway that held seven doorways. Each doorway held it's own staircase.

"First the three doors, now seven staircases," Kuwabara grumbled.

"One person per staircase," Yanagisawa said as we all stepped up to a staircase.

"Wait!" Botan said, digging in her briefcase. She held out a little sticker, "The 7th detective tool! We'll all write our names on them and put them on each other, it shows the health of the person wearing it, so we'll know if anyone gets into trouble."

I was the last one to receive my four stickers and a pen, everyone else's stickers descended on the cat shirt over my chest. I wrote my name down on each of them and began to place them on Kurama, and Kuwabara. When I came up to Hiei he was quiet, probably because he wasn't going to argue about wearing stickers and make himself get into trouble again like he did thirty or so minutes ago. I averted my gaze from his, walking past him and gently slapping one on his shoulder, passing by him quickly to reach Botan.

_I've never met anyone as mature as you_, his sarcasm rang throughout my head, causing me to jump.

Botan looked at me curiously as I placed my sticker on her collar.

"I'm fine," I laughed nervously, my face heating up.

_I've never met anyone as short as you, _I quipped my lame response as I quickly ascended the staircase, silently reprimanding myself on how I could find no better come-back. But I felt just a bit better since I felt that two second conversation was usual banter.

I stepped foot into my chosen staircase, feeling unnerved at the abnormal structure. It curved sideways, a pale yellow light enveloped the staircase. I felt like I was in an optical illusion, as I ascended the curving, spiraling staircase, gravity held me in place. Whoever created this house had to be eccentric, the surreal feel of this house was something else entirely. The staircase twisted, back and forth, spiraling slightly as I continued to ascend.

After about two minutes, when the curve had me walking sideways, I felt a hand touch my back. My shrieking echoed throughout the staircase, bouncing off the walls. I swung my elbow backwards, feeling a sharp pain in my joint as it connected with a cheekbone. Voices spiked as my anxiety flew through the roof. Despite the curses he muttered, despite my flailing arms, he lifted me over his shoulder. My stomach churned as his shoulder dug into my lower stomach, I was completely fine with the thought of vomiting on my attacker. I heard a door click open, and the pale yellow shine of the staircase disappeared as we entered a pitch black hallway.

I could see my attackers thoughts, remembering something he'd been told about me. After a few seconds of sifting through my own voices and locating his train of thought, I saw a picture of myself flash by on a screen.

"Control your thoughts around her," a familiar, older voice spoke, but there was no image of the person in the memory. "If you so much as think about your plans at the wrong time when she's prying, the whole objective is ruined."

The picture of myself then flipped to one of Kuwabara, and I disconnected my prying. That voice was familiar, but I couldn't place it. In an attempt to escape, I began flailing my arms and legs, trying to kick him in the face as my voices got worse. I couldn't see anything in the darkness; the voices began naming all the horrid things that could happen to me.

_Rape, genital mutilation. You'd like that, wouldn't you?_

No, no, no. I tried drowning the voices out with my screams in a dual attempt that someone would save me, but no savior arrived. In a desperate attempt, as my attacker opened another door, I reached down towards his bottom, reaching into his pants.

Grabbing his underwear, I pulled upwards and heard my attacker's high pitched howl of pain as he threw me to the ground in a desolate, dark room, only causing the atomic wedgie to become worse since I hadn't let go. He toppled down to the ground next to me, and I lifted myself up on my elbow and grabbed his jacket, ready to claw his face with my free hand. My adrenaline was at an all-time high, all I could think of was how glad I was to have long nails so I could draw blood.

"Calm down, girl," an old voice had me stopped in my tracks, my nails inches from my attackers face.

The voices began to disappear as I recognized the voice, the voice from his memory. I'd heard it at the tournament. Everything in the room began to calm down, seemingly, the adrenaline in my body began to disperse. I slowly, shakily, looked around the room, letting my eyes adjust to the dim lighting as I pushed away my voices. I looked down to my attacker as my eyes finally adjusted to the dim lighting of the room. The tall haired boy, Yanagisawa.

I looked around the room as he got up and left, rubbing his bottom in pain as he placed a hand on his cheek. The lights switched on, my eyes clamped shut in pain from the drastic change in lighting. A burning sensation above my forehead arose as my eyes tried to adjust. I squinted around the room, finding a small, old woman near a large door.

Genkai.

"I thought... But you died," I muttered.

I remembered the tournament, Kuwabara's fight, the shift in the atmosphere on the island. That's it, I've officially gone crazy.

"While you were moping around on the island, Koenma brought me back to life," she said casually.

_Moping around._ Cool choice of words, old bitch.

"So what's going on here?" I asked, ignoring her rude comment as my arms continued to shake. The adrenaline hadn't completely dispersed.

"I've specifically asked Yanagisawa to bring you in while they deal with the boys," she said, her arms folded behind her back. "I have some instructions for you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, wondering why she was going to even bother with me.

I just got kidnapped, which proved how useful I was; giving me instructions to do some job was obviously not going to end well at all.

The door opened again, and Kuwabara's tied up body flew into the room, rolling across the floor towards us on his sides. His uniform had been taken from him, and despite the situation I couldn't help but find his striped underwear amusing. I laughed a bit as I went over and began to untie him; his angry, muffled curses rang clear as a bell as I took the cloth out of his mouth.

"Kuwabara," Genkai snapped at him to grab his attention.

He turned his head slightly upwards, viewing Genkai upside down. He yelped and jumped upwards onto his bottom, sitting up straight to view Genkai clearly.

"Genkai—I—Satomi," His voice raised an octave, cracking slightly in the surprise and confusion of the situation as his head whipped back and forth between the two of us.

I nodded to Kuwabara, understanding his confusion.

"Instructions involving me and Kuwabara?" I asked, turning to Genkai.

Kuwabara, though still confused, awaited Genkai's instructions.

"Everyone is involved," she replied, and I realized if she knew about Kuwabara's supposed loss of spirit energy, then she either didn't care, or didn't believe he'd lost it. "But I have instructions for you."

No, someone get me out of here. I was just trying to be nice and make sure Yusuke wouldn't get hurt, I wasn't trying to get dragged into this. I thought this all could have been solved and I could have left afterwards. How stupid of me.

"You've been to the demon world before," she said to me. "I'm sure you understand how tunnels work."

"No," I replied honestly, hoping that'd get me out of this.

"There is a tunnel being opened now," she ignored my response.

"Oh, that's what I was feeling today," My mumbling earned me a harsh glare from the old woman.

But I tried to ignore her piercing stare and untie the knot holding Kuwabara's wrists together.

"It's currently only limited to Mushiyori," she explained. "Over thirty people have come to me about receiving strange abilities."

"Those boys?" I asked, looking up to her as I fiddled with the knots.

She nodded, "People are discovering powers, and not all of them are being used for good."

"What happened?" Kuwabara asked.

"In Mushiyori, someone caused an explosion," she said. "An unfinished building collapsed, exploding from the bottom on its own. There was some destruction on the streets of downtown Mushiyori."

"Someone with powers like those boys?" I asked. "The powers are all different?"

"They differ from person to person," she confirmed. "It's a product of the tunnel, and the tunnel's expanding. Soon we will not only have to worry about more people obtaining abilities, but there will be an invasion of demons."

I heard Kuwabara swallow a lump in his throat, and I finished untying him. My fingers were shaking a bit, anticipating where this situation was headed.

"Okay," I said. "What do want us to do about it?"

"You and Kuwabara will help find who's creating this tunnel," she answered as I looked over to Kuwabara.

See? I wanted to say. She wouldn't ask if you didn't have your spirit energy.

But he turned away with a sullen expression, back towards Genkai, unsettled about the situation. He knew something about his supposed loss of energy that I didn't, which was plausible since I wasn't around him often. But his aura hadn't changed in the slightest when I was able to feel it earlier, something as drastic like the loss of spirit energy would definitely change an aura.

I'd try to reassure him later.

I turned back to Genkai, feigning amusement in my question, "And what special instructions do you have for me with this tunnel?"

"I need you to close it."

What.

"I—I can't close a tunnel!" I stumbled over my words, backtracking my attempted sass.

"You seem to forget that you are a priestess," Genkai said calmly.

I gave the same incredulous facial expression to Genkai that I'd given to Botan all those months ago when she threw that word at me. A priestess? No. Feeling auras and energy, and dipping into someone's head did _not_ mean I could close a tunnel. It definitely did not mean I was a priestess.

Oh god, someone get me out of here.


	24. Something Is Not Right With Me

Last I checked, priestesses prayed at shrines, wrote incantations on paper, kept bad spirits away, and all those other religious rights they were granted after going through ceremonies. I had never went through any ceremonies, and my basic, often useless, psychic abilities had nothing to do with closing tunnels.

"I'm not a priestess..." I hated that word.

"I believe you're the perfect person to close this tunnel. Do you remember what Botan said to you about your powers?" She asked, ignoring me.

Just to amuse the old woman, I thought about what Botan said all those months ago. I couldn't really remember, to be honest. I was a bit preoccupied at the time Botan was reading my stats, freaking out about the situation, wondering where she found that folder.

I looked up to the ceiling in thought, waving my hand around in the air mindlessly to mirror my mind's motor running, "Something... about how I can tap into the Spirit World."

"Anyone with a sixth sense can do that," she was completely unamused with me. "Kuwabara has a strong sixth sense, your ability to tap into the spirit world means nothing."

Then don't ask me what Botan said, oh my god.

"Well, all I can do is locate someone, so long as I have their aura," I was irritated that I was even entertaining this conversation. "If I'm lucky, I can dip into their heads."

"The fact that you can sense auras is a huge indicator of what you can do with your abilities. You mentioned feeling the presence of that tunnel," the old woman who I admired upon the arena had just personally met me and already had a strong distaste of me. "Your telepathic abilities are linked to the auras and chakras of the people you can read."

I threw up my hands, completely done with the situation.

"Then why can I only read some people," My hands fell on top of my head, and I wondered if she had a completely different explanation than what I had already known. "I couldn't even feel any auras in the territories."

"Can you read me?" Kuwabara piped up.

"No," I replied quickly, and then took advantage of the interruption. "I could never read you... That's what I was trying to tell you. Where did you get the idea of losing your spirit energy? Your aura felt more or less the same..."

Kuwabara still didn't seem convinced, though. He cupped his chin in his hand, pondering on whatever was wrong.

"What happened to make you think that you lost—"

She snapped at us, cutting off our side conversation, "The stronger their energy, the less change you have of reading them."

No, that's what I knew. Mental block.

"Everything about your abilities has to do with energy, auras and chakras, which is why you'll be helping," her patience was ticking away by the second. "Even your little telepathic ability is from seeping into the Third Eye chakra."

She didn't come here with the intention of explaining my own abilities to me, so I kept my mouth shut. I had no idea what a _chakra_ was.

"What do you think a tunnel is?" She asked.

Okay, Satomi, you went in a tunnel before. Wing it.

"Uh," I looked up at the ceiling again. "A passage created _by_ energy and _emitting_ energy that allows a particle to travel through dimensions?"

"Half-assed," she grunted. "At least you're not as dull as you look."

"Okay…" My eye twitched at her insult. Call me selfish, spoiled, even useless, because those were all true, but not stupid. I was nowhere close to stupid. "But priestesses do religious rituals. What does this aura and chakra stuff have anything to do with being able—"

The crows feet next to her eyes deepened as her eyes narrowed, angry that she needed to explain my own abilities to me, "Rituals are not always necessary, depending on the act. Do you have any idea with what priestess can do?"

"Obviously not," the words poured out without much thought.

I regretted those words… Even Kuwabara grimaced towards me, upset that I'd provoked her.

Words flew out of her mouth faster than I could pay attention. Words about chakras and auras and priestesses and the tunnel, and I stared at her mouth, watching it move faster than anything I'd seen before. Overwhelmed, I eventually was able to tune her out, a buzzing sound replaced her words, and I waited for someone to save me from this lecture.

The large door she stood in front of began to open, the light spilling into the room excited me. Whoever opened that door, thank you. Thank you so much.

As the doors opened fully, a group of familiar faces, and a bleached-blonde boy stood around, waiting for Genkai to become revealed. But despite the grand entrance she was meant to act, she was busy reprimanding me.

"Are you even listening, you stupid girl?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, complying only to make her stop.

She clicked her tongue against her teeth, irritated with me, and turned to the group.

I moved towards the exit as soon as she turned around, making my way to the staircase that I was originally meant to arrive from before Yanagisawa grabbed me. Well, any of those staircases would do. I was going home. I wasn't getting dragged into this. I was just going to be dead weight. I was. Going. Home.

"Where do you think you're going, girl?" I heard the old woman's voice call out to me as I stepped towards the stairs.

"Home..." My voice was meek, much more than it should have been after that confident attempt at an exit.

"You better have a good explanation for this, grandma," Yusuke grumbled. His patience lasted maybe two seconds before he raised his voice, "We're listening, you old hag!"

Genkai stayed quiet as the blonde boy dropped to the floor on his knees, his forehead touching the ground.

The most sincere expression of apology in our culture.

"I'm sorry!" His exclamation took seemingly everyone by surprise, even my eyebrows rose despite me knowing a while ago this was all a set up.

"ARGH. I don't understand a damn thing!" Yusuke said, gripping his head with his hands as he looked at the boy bowing and apologizing.

I wonder what game he played with the group.

"You have a peculiar taste in humor, Genkai," Kurama smiled as I inched towards the staircase again.

"It wasn't meant for fun, I had to show you their power so you all know what you're up against. And you," Genkai called out to me as I stepped foot on the staircase again. "Get back here. For once, you'll be of use. I'm not letting you leave."

I didn't know her limits with patience, and I wasn't in the mood to test them because they had already dwindled slim to none, so I stayed put.

"We came to Master Genkai when we noticed we had powers..." the blonde boy said. "We didn't have these before; it has to be from the tunnel of darkness."

"What's that?" Yusuke asked.

"Some spiritual heirs of Sakyo are here, trying to continue his plan of opening a tunnel," Genkai said, prompting all eyes to turn on me, just as they had a few hours ago in the park.

Genkai hadn't mentioned that to me, but as I looked over to Kuwabara, he wasn't surprised. She had probably included it when I tuned her out.

I put my hands up defensively, my arms shaking a bit from the building anxiety, wondering what my father could possibly do with this, just as everyone else was.

"My dad's _dead_ if you all don't remember," I muttered.

Botan's briefcase started beeping, a little light flashing on the steel cover, taking the attention off me, "Ah, it's Koenma."

I'd never been more happy to see him. I'd be happy to see anyone so long as they took all eyes off me. My anxiety was dampened as the brief case opened, and a little screen appeared inside, showing Koenma with his brow furrowed, eyes narrowed.

"We have a serious problem," he yelled, his pacifier moving around his mouth frantically as his small body jumped onto the desk in front of him.

"We know," unfiltered words poured out again.

Koenma noticed me and jabbed his index finger in my direction.

The tip of his finger bunched up slightly against the screen, "And you are the perfect person to help."

Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut from now on.

_That would work out for everyone._

_Shove it,_ I replied, glaring over to Hiei, pins and needles graced my cheeks again._  
_

"Not if I hang myself, I'm not..." I muttered, turning my attention back to the brief case before I brought more unnecessary attention to me.

"Also, there's something that concerns me about you, and your father's death," he said. "I'll discuss these issues with you after you work with Yusuke on finding who's behind this tunnel issue."

Genkai stepped in front of me and spoke up before I could corner Koenma into spilling his concern, "It's limited to Mushiyori right now. About thirty people have come to me seeking advice."

I tuned out the conversation, having heard it a few seconds ago, and looked around the room to occupy my thoughts to keep them off my father while I waited to find a good opening to jump Koenma for his concern. But I wouldn't be able to jump him until they dropped the tunnel subject. Scanning the room and its occupants, I found Yanagisawa next to the blonde boy. Yanagisawa's face was banged up quite a bit. His cheek was swollen where I'd elbowed him, and his jaw was swelling up as well. Someone else had gotten a hold of him.

I felt a bit sorry for him, but it washed away quickly as I remembered he'd scared me half to death.

_He'll be the first to die in battle if he was harmed by someone as weak as you._

_Don't you have someone else to pry into?_

He earned another glare from me, but was unfazed, more amused than anything.

_You scream like a banshee._

_The hell is that?_

_That egotistical fool's sword from the tournament. _

_I do not, you prick! _My face burned as I turned towards him, remembering Shishiwakamaru and the screaming sword. _You're one to talk about egotistical._

"The tunnel is at the second stage," Koenma said, catching my attention.

"What's the second stage?" Yusuke asked as we all crowded around the briefcase.

Koenma began explaining the amount and class of demons that could arrive through the tunnel, depending on the stage and circumference, "Right now, the tunnel's only big enough to allow low-class demons to come through. But when the tunnel hits a certain circumference, then..."

"Then?!" Yusuke gripped the briefcase as if it was Koenma.

"Eventually, C and B class can enter freely," Koenma looked up at Yusuke from his desk through the screen. "Toguro was a B class."

I never saw Toguro fight, but everyone's grim expressions...

"This passage is being protected to make sure A and S classes aren't passing through," Koenma said, putting his hands together on top of his desk. "We have to prevent this invasion. We have to find who's pushing the opening of this tunnel and stop it."

Koenma turned to me, "That's your job."

"Who is it?" I asked calmly, trying to compose myself because I knew nothing was _that_ easy.

"We don't know."

"How can I find someone when I don't have their aura?" My arms found their way to my chest, crossing upon each other to contain the shaking of my arms.

"You need to sift through the town, finding the person using your—"

"That's like telling someone to look up a word they don't know in the dictionary."

"You can read minds, that will allow you to pick up the thoughts from the person—"

"You _know_ it's not that easy!" He and the old woman were off their rockers with this. "Mushiyori has, what, at least two-hundred and fifty_ thousand_ people? I have to be reading the right person at the right time for the right information. And that's assuming they're human and not stronger than a lower class demon, because I can't read anything other than them. It will take much longer for me to do what you're asking when you all could hunt this guy down on foot, without me."

I just realized that was the most I'd ever said without trailing off or getting quieter as I continued to speak, as I usually had. It seemed a fitting time to speak up and stand with conviction, though.

"She's right," Hiei chimed in. "You'd be better off without her."

_Thank you, _I knew the mental connection was still open.

"Exactly," I ignored his implication that I was useless because it was true. "I'm sorry, but unless you can give me an aura..."

I shrugged.

_You'd drag them down anyways._

_Tell the old bat that._

"You're going with us," Yusuke said. "If we get information or pick up anything, you'll be useful."

_And Yusuke too, while you're at it, _I noted, but I felt the connection had been cut off.

"I'll be dead weight until then..." I kept trying to pry myself out of this, but it didn't seem like it was about to happen.

"You will be of use later on," Genkai warned. "You'll be able to stall that tunnel by the time I'm done with you."

"How..." I sighed with fabricated interest.

"You have these abilities yet you seek no knowledge of them," she chided me as a throat-clearing cough sounded from the brief case.

The throat-clearing cough was my indication of an opening in the conversation, a way for me to corner Koenma. I turned from Genkai to the brief case.

"I'm not doing _anything_ until you tell me what's wrong," I said, leaning into the brief case to see the screen without the glare from the light overhead.

"Are you sure you want your confidential information to be aired out in front of everyone?" He asked.

"Why not," I rolled my eyes, my arms began to shake again.

It wasn't like the past few months haven't been a soap opera staring yours truly.

"The Spirit World sentences souls to where they belong, "heaven," hell, what have you," he explained quickly. "Your father's soul never arrived."

He paused, I waited with my heart in my throat.

"So what does that mean?" I asked. "My father's alive?"

"No, he's dead. Your brother's soul never arrived either, according to paperwork," he said, waving his hand in front of his face as if to dismiss the matter before continuing. It was probably paperwork _he _filed and wasn't paying attention to. "The Spirit World has files on everyone, which includes their record of death, when and how they'll die. Your father's soul not appearing prompted me to look into his and your file, and I found something interesting."

He paused for a minute, and I couldn't fathom why. Did he want to make me tear my hair out in anticipation? Was this amusing to him? He better have been finding the right words because the anxiety was building in my chest, and I didn't know how much longer I could take it. I wanted more than anything to be able to reach into the screen and strangle it out of him.

Finally, he finished his sentence, "Your record of death is blank."

"What does that mean... I'm immortal?" The only thing that popped into my head at the second.

"No, because both your brother's and father's records were blank as well, their dates and reasons of death were added _after_ they died."

"What does that _mean_?" I was becoming more frustrated by the second, shaking my hands at the brief case. "You saw that file months ago! Botan read off it! How could you not have noticed it until now?"

"I tend to not look at that portion of the records if the person is alive," Botan mumbled from behind me, and part of me didn't blame her.

If I had to cater dead people around for a living, I'd avoid knowing when someone was about to keel over. I wouldn't want to anticipate someone's death.

"And _you _never looked at my file until now?" I spat, whipping my head back towards the screen. "What about knowing I was being tracked by the Black Black Club? Tarukane? Hmm?"

Calm down, Satomi. He was in charge of seven _billion_ people's files, plus everyone in the demon and spirit world, you weren't special.

"When we learned about Yukina, we learned about Tarukane's plans to find others like her. You were on his list," he said. "Your father was aware of what you could do, and Tarukane caught on."

Grandma Jeanne...

"I never thought much of your abilities, but now with his soul not appearing... I've been looking into it, but right now the tunnel is our priority," he said. "I'll tell you what I know after you and Yusuke find out who's behind this tunnel."

"We're going to fix this now. You're going with us, too," Yusuke pointed to the two boys, the blonde and Yanagisawa. "You know the area."

Genkai's fist found the back of Yusuke's head, taking the anger that was directed at me out on him, "Have you learned nothing from this experience?! We have three weeks; we can spare some time to learn about who we're up against and how much power they have."

I stopped paying attention to Genkai when I saw Hiei begin to walk out of the room. Genkai didn't try to stop him, and he was of much more use than me.

"Oi, Hiei," Yusuke called out to him, ignoring Genkai's instructions. "Don't you care about what's going to happen in the human world?"

"If a tunnel's going to open, I'm fine with it," he replied. "It means B class can move freely, right? So I don't care if a tunnel opens; I don't care about the human world."

"You really believe what you're saying?" I asked, my arms finding their way across my chest again.

Despite it being an insult, his earlier quip seemed to be an attempt to pull me out of the situation. He had to care about humans... somewhat... right? But as he looked over to me, my heart sunk with embarrassment. Why did I open my mouth?

"Don't flatter yourself," he said.

I cringed, wondering why that wasn't banter...

"No, she's right, Hiei," Kuwabara said, completely oblivious to his answer. "Do you really believe what you said?"

Hiei ignored him, the weight of the door slammed behind him as he left.

"He'll come back to us when we need help," Yusuke said, assured.

"We'll split up into two teams," Genkai voice began to dull out once more. "Tomorrow."

A ringing in my ears formed from embarrassment and anxiety, blood rushing to my head, drowning out all conversations.

I stared at the door for a while, a bit flustered and embarrassed, and Kurama gently shook my shoulders for me to pay attention. I looked over to Genkai, watching her mouth move, her words dulled into a soft buzzing sound.

* * *

"Look, see!" My brother pointed up at the neon lights that showed the movie times, almost poking a smaller woman in the back of her head. "That movie's coming on ten minutes after this lame one, can't I just go watch that one? We'll get out around the same time."

"No," Daddy replied, adjusting himself to keep his grip tight on me. "We're watching a movie as a family."

I had my legs wrapped around his rib cage, holding onto him by the back of his work shirt he hadn't had time to change out of. I had just convinced Daddy that princesses don't wait in lines, and he amused my logic by holding me while waiting in line despite me being seven.

"But this is a kids movie," Satoshi complained, reading the new PG-13 releases that he so desperately wanted to see. "I'm thirteen, I don't want to watch baby stuff."

"It's not _baby stuff_," Daddy replied, digging his wallet out as he stepped up to the box office to order our tickets. "It's a family movie."

"Moooooom," Satoshi turned to my mother and she set her hand down on top of his head.

"Maybe we should pick another movie," my mother tried in favor of her favorite child as she adjusted her cardigan over her nursing scrubs, even though she had been excited to see the one my father was paying tickets for already.

"This one isn't a kids movie," Daddy defended the movie as he handed his wife and son their tickets. "If it was, I wouldn't be sitting through it."

Satoshi took the tickets in defeat as we made our way into the lobby, and Daddy set me down on the ground to walk next to my brother. The greeter took our tickets as we walked inside.

"This is all your fault," Satoshi shoved the back of my head forward. "If you weren't such a crybaby, we could be watching a _real_ movie."

"Shut up!" I whined turning around to kick his shin, he dodged easily.

"I don't shut up, I grow up. And when I look at you, I throw up," he stuck his finger in his mouth as he opened wide, and gagged.

Satoshi and I had recently watched _Stand By Me,_ which had prompted my recital of the next line.

"And then your mother comes around the corner and she _licks it_ up."

"We have the same mother, idiot—AH"

My mother's fingers found their way around Satoshi's ear, and she twisted it.

"Adrian," She dragged Satoshi across the lobby to reprimand him in private. "Come discipline your daughter."

She turned to Satoshi and leaned in, hissing, "Do not start this in public."

Daddy stepped over to me and put his hand on the back of my head, guiding me to the concessions line.

"Pretend to cry," he said quietly, and I distorted my face, feigning tears and whining loudly.

The charade stopped when we stepped up to the cashier less than a minute later and he tapped the back of my head, a little button that switched my act 'off'.

"Now pick one candy," he said.

I looked into the glass case that held all of the good candy that you could never find in stores anymore.

"One of... everything!" I smiled, excited and hopeful as I hugged the glass.

"Now how mad would that make mommy?" He tutted, and I turned up to see him.

Despite their growing income, mother was more frugal with money than Daddy.

"Very mad."

A sly little smile grew on his face as he glanced over to my brother and mother, who were looking at the promoted movie posters, picking out what to see on their next visit. My mother's arms wrapped around Satoshi's shoulders to hold him as he pointed at the posters on the top of his to-watch list.

"That would, wouldn't it?" He loved toying with my mother in strange ways. He tapped on the glass counter with his debit card, "One of everything."

* * *

Kurama walked home with me after I had been given orders from Genkai, and as soon as I entered the apartment, an enveloping warm air graced me. The heater had turned on while I was gone. But along with a warm welcome from the heater, a foul odor found my nostrils.

Hime.

"HIME," My voice was unusually low as I stormed around the house for him, simultaneously looking for the cause of the stench.

A short purr came from behind me as I trailed into my room, and I turned around to find the small, golden cat's usually soft fur matted against him, sticky and wet.

"That better not be piss, I swear…" I mumbled, walking over to him. "Don't think I've forgotten your punishment."

I bent down and smelled him, putrid. But I didn't know what cat urine smelled like…

"Mi," Kurama called, and I knew he was using this nickname in a calming fashion.

It better not be piss…

I picked Hime up by the back of his neck, holding his bottom with my free hand as I walked into the kitchen to see Kurama. Behind him there was a small puddle of spilled milk. Hime had knocked over the milk bowl. I sighed, and began to cradle Hime as a silent apology to him. Kurama began to take off his school uniform's jacket and roll up the white button up shirt that often hid beneath it.

"You'll wash him?" I asked, staring down at the mess as he walked up to me, setting his jacket on the kitchen counter.

"Yes," he said as he made his way into the bathroom.

I began to wipe up the mess, soaking the milk up with a dish towel. Though I realized something was off about the milk… that was the putrid smell. Oh, you _have_ to be shitting me. I forgot to dump his milk! It'd been sitting out for... almost four days! I set it out when my mother came over and... and this morning I forgot. I was so preoccupied over my stupid mess up with Hiei this morning that I had forgotten to dump Hime's milk and he probably drank from it.

How could I not have smelled this before, what was wrong with me?

I got up quickly and ran to the bathroom, finding Kurama gently rubbing soap along Hime's back. For a cat, Hime sure enjoyed a bath.

"Is he okay?" My voice squeaked as I looked down at Hime.

Hime's obnoxious meow spoke for itself as I stepped up to Kurama, he seemed fine. But that didn't stop my heart from sinking to my stomach with guilt.

"He seems fine," Kurama noted as he set Hime underneath the running water. "Why?"

"The milk was old!" I whined as I left back into the kitchen, finding another dish towel to completely mop up the rest of the milk.

I threw the dish towels in the dirty hamper and made a note to use the laundry facility downstairs when I returned from Mushiyori. I cracked the window in my room to air out the apartment as Kurama walked into my room, holding Hime who seemingly enjoyed being wrapped up in a towel. I quickly took Hime from Kurama's hold and buried my face in his wet fur, feeling his rough tongue against my cheek.

"I'm sorry," I muffled through his wet fur.

I was a shit cat owner; don't let me have kids because I'd mess them up as well.

Kurama noted, "He could have gotten sick."

"I didn't know…" I mumbled, setting Hime on my bed. "It was supposed to be a treat, he was asking for it all day. Meowed each time I opened the fridge."

"He doesn't seem to be sick from it," he said. "He should be fine."

"I'm a bad mom," I mumbled as I watched Hime wiggle out of the towel and prowl around on my bed.

There was a moment of silence before Kurama prompted his observation of the last few hours.

"You've been in a peculiar mood tonight."

"Yeah, I'm ready to shoot myself in the face," I mumbled as I made my way to the closet.

"You still haven't learned how to hide your emotions."

Oh, someone shoot me _now,_ please.

"What kind of weather does Mushiyori have?" I asked, sifting through jackets and sweatshirts.

"Satomi."

"I mean, I don't want to travel light and then it end up being cold."

"Sato—"

"What if there's a storm?" I whined unfiltered words.

I really needed to think things through before speaking. Winter was ending, storms weren't a problem now. I was just embarrassed and denial was the best way to resolve this.

"I should travel heavy in case," I said, pulling out my pea coat and a thick jacket.

He watched me as I pulled out other coats, comparing the outfits I could make with them, noticing my behavior. He leaned against my wall near my dresser, amused, with his arms crossed.

"Denial was never something you could execute," he said. "You always obsess over things that bother you if you're not shutting down."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I quipped.

"There it is again."

I shoved the pea coat and jacket back onto the railing and searched for another coat.

"You often show extreme cases of denial over failure," he noted, reading me and remembering my past behaviors, correlating them to my current actions. He was taking advantage of knowing my body language, "Failure or rejection. The time you missed your Pre-Calculus test."

Here we go.

"And your teacher didn't let you make it up. You insisted the test didn't exist until you received a grade report," he was taking _too_ much advantage right now. "Failure on your grade and rejection from your teacher."

The pins and needles feeling returned in my cheeks and I grabbed a button up blouse that I normally used for my uniform.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said again as I walked past him, having nothing else to defend myself.

"From that retort Hiei gave you earlier, I'm assuming a small conflict occurred between you both."

"Small conflict!" I snorted a laugh, and the words poured out of my mouth, all holding onto the same breath. "'Small conflicts' were what we had when we first met. This was complete rejection. I'm an idiot and I basically kis—ugh."

I thought I had saved myself with my high-pitched whine, but from my peripheral vision I saw his shoulders shake with laughter. I turned to him, throwing my blouse at him. He caught it and chuckled.

"He didn't stop you?" He handed my blouse to me, as if I wasn't about to swat him with it.

"No, but he should have!" Again, all of my words continued to linger on one breath; I had forgotten how to breathe as I took the blouse and hit his shoulder with it, "I mean he could have stopped me, he's always prying. He could have stopped me from leaning in and I could have laughed and said 'Oh, haha, sorry I'm just really tired, good night' and just give him a high five or something and go to bed but no I actually leaned in and he did nothing to—"

"Breathe," Kurama instructed me.

I inhaled sharply, a slight wheezing sound accompanied it, and I slowly exhaled.

We stood in silence for a while and I waited for my face to turn back to its normal, beige skin tone. Despite having some color in my skin, red always stuck out in embarrassing times. My face would completely flush with a fire brick red that unnecessarily stood out.

"I'm surprised he's entertained your presence for this long," he mused.

"What does that mean?"

"Mushiyori will have similar weather," he changed the subject.

I didn't want to spend time obsessing over what he meant, because it'd only drive me further into embarrassment. But it was going to embarrass me until something drastic took my attention.

"Why am I not going to see the tunnel?" I asked, sifting through my drawer to find some pants. "I mean, Genkai dragged me into this because she thinks I can close it. And Koenma thinks I can _magically_ find who's opening it."

"Genkai's usually not wrong in her assumptions. But you're with Yusuke because if you can pick up anything, our search will end faster. Finding who's behind this is our priority."

"Yeah, that's stupid," I said as I searched around my room for my messenger bag. "We're going to get put into some situation, and I'm going to have to run for cover because I can't fight."

"I saw what you did to Yanagisawa's face," he chuckled. "If our enemy's anyone like him, you'll do fine."

"I'm sure he could fight," I said. "He just didn't want to hurt me. I'm going to end up locking myself in a closet when a fight breaks out. You owe me ten bucks if I end up being completely useless tomorrow."

I walked past Kurama as he pondered on whether or not to take up my bet. The fact that he thought I _could_ do something in this situation concerned me.

I made my way into the kitchen and put Hime's food into a sealed, plastic container. I would have to take Hime with me now. I couldn't leave him with Shiori without raising questions, and there was no one else to watch over him to see if he'd get sick. I put the sealed food into the messenger bag and held onto my chosen outfit as I stepped up to the bathroom. I peered around the apartment before stepping inside, and watched as Kurama made his way to his school jacket on the counter.

"My dad's soul never made it to the Spirit World," I reminded him, hoping he'd have some sort of insight.

Though I knew he wouldn't know anything, I wanted to hear anything from him, some form of reassurance that my father wasn't a part of this mess.

"Do you think he's created this tunnel?"

"He didn't seem interested in Sakyo's plan to begin with," I mumbled. "He was in the tournament to bring my brother back."

We stood in silence for a while, both of us concentrating on different issues at hand.

"Today's going to be a long day, isn't it?" Hime's purrs almost drowned out my question.

Kurama adjusted his jacket as he put it on, pulling his bright hair out from underneath the straight collar, "Of course."

His calm, seemingly all-knowing smile created an ambivalence of reassurance and angst for the following hours.

At least after this mess in Mushiyori, Koenma will _have_ to tell me what's going on with my father.

* * *

**A/N: **i need to stop making these chapters so long

i am sorry goodbye world


	25. Sowing the Seeds of Love

**A/N: **yeah, last chapter i said i should make my chapters shorter but look at what happened.

kanye shrug

* * *

There was a soft knock on the closet door, and I assumed it was Shuichi. I ignored him once more as I had throughout the day, but I realized it wasn't him when the closet door opened and a soft, concerned voice carrying into the closet, with the dull light from the hallway.

"Satomi?" Shiori stepped foot into the small walk-in closet.

My voice cracked from underneath the duvet, "Close it!"

She hurried inside the cramped, small closet, kneeling down to sit next to me as she pushed the door closed. I draped the large duvet I dragged inside the closet with me earlier this morning over me, and despite the thickness, I felt her hand gently shaking my shoulder over my protection.

"Satomi, how long have you been in here?" She asked.

I shrugged, though I was unsure of whether she could see my body movement.

"Shuichi says you've been in here all day," she said, sitting down next to me. "What's wrong?"

"The voices are loud," I replied, conversations from my head felt like they were from behind the door. "They're outside the door."

"How long have you been in here?"

"I don't know... since lunch time."

"It's nine," she mumbled to herself.

After a few moments of silence, she gently put her hand on top of my head, over the duvet.

"Can I take this off?"

"No.."

"Have you taken your medication?" She asked.

"I forgot."

"I'll get it," she said, her hand drifted down to my shoulder and she patted it gently.

"Don't open the door again, please..."

She stayed still, her legs trembling slightly to keep her in the awkward, uncomfortable position, and then sighed.

"Do you want to hear a story?" She asked.

I nodded, the duvet moved slightly.

"Can you share the covers?" She asked, and I took my head out from underneath and moved the duvet over towards her. She set it on her lap as she got comfortable, the two of us moved into bearable positions in the cramped space. "It's about your father."

I looked up at her with interest; my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, so I could see her perfectly. My arm brushed against hers, feeling the thick, slightly protruding scars that trailed on her forearms. I never asked about them out of respect, since I hated being asked about my own.

"I know he and your mom left just a few months ago," she said. "But this was a few years ago."

I nodded, and she continued, "I had this coupon for a restaurant, half off any order. I wanted to invite your mother so we could spend some time together, but she was at work, and it was the last day to use it. Your father was at home, though, so I invited him."

"Where was I?"

"You and the boys were in school," she replied. "We went to lunch and on the way home we passed by this roller skating rink."

"The one on the train stop before the junior high school?" Her being in the closet with me, distracting me from the voices outside, was calming.

"Mhm," she nodded. "And your father became excited, he turned into a little kid when he dragged me inside. I'd never expected it from him. He was so happy to find out it was Disco Day. 'I'm not taking no for an answer, Shiori,' he told me. 'We're going to dance the disco and you're going to like it.'"

I could hear my brother's voice in my head, as if he was proudly yelling from upstairs as he always did when dad put on Disco music, "Disco sucks!"

And though he had died a while ago, and the voices were crawling around outside the door, this story was already comforting, my brother's voice was comforting, and Shiori was comforting.

She laughed and shook her head, "He bought these wide sunglasses and this plastic gold chain from the gift shop, rented our skates, and unbuttoned his work shirt... and popped his collar."

"Oh, god, I'm _so_ sorry," I laughed, the voices seemed so distant now.

"No, it's fine, it was funny," she laughed. "He requested this song for the DJ and I think… I think it was something like Beethoven. It sounded like Beethoven's song, but it had this little groove to it. And he danced in the rink with his skates."

"A Fifth of Beethoven," I nodded, knowing my father's taste in music.

Almost anything from the sixties and seventies in America played in our home. I wasn't surprised at his dancing, either. He'd taught me plenty of dances to those songs.

"Yes!" She clasped her hands together as another giggle echoed in the closet. "He did the moonwalk in the rink with his skates on, and he did that dance—" she thought about it for a second, and pointed her finger up, and then moved it down diagonally, back and forth. "And he dragged me into the rink, trying to teach me how to dance."

"I'm sorry," I apologized again, my hands flew up to my cheeks to cover the blushing that wasn't visible anyways.

"Now, I may not be able to skate well," she said. "But I can moonwalk backwards."

Our laughs echoed throughout the hallway. She mimicked my father, teasing his love for disco music. Soon, when our laughter died out, I asked for another story, this time about anything. And she stayed in the closet with me for a few hours into the night, distracting me from the voices outside the closet with her stories.

* * *

I walked behind Kido in a disgusted attempt to avoid the low-class demons, many that strangely resembled bugs, flying around the city. But occasionally, a few bugs would turn in my direction, and I'd swat them away. One flew in my direction, and I swatted it away after gulping down stomach acid that threatened to spew out every time I saw one of the disgusting creatures. A girl passing by saw my strange actions and facial twitches, and squinted her eyes, giving me a smug, ugly look as she passed.

That's why they're crawling in your hair, bitch, I thought as I returned her rude look.

But my amusement with her infested hair disappeared quickly, and I turned to Genkai.

"Humans don't see any of this, do they?" I asked.

"If they did, there'd be panic," Yusuke answered for her. "You can see it because you've got a sixth sense."

"She has spirit energy," Genkai turned towards me. "We should work on you being able to channel auras, manipulate them—"

"I only know how to pry into heads and find people," I wasn't in the mood to entertain her wild fantasies of my possible abilities.

"And you're not even good at that," Genkai insulted me casually. "You need to practice when we return."

I didn't want her to "train" me, I didn't want to be a part of this mess. I only tagged along to entertain Koenma long enough to tell me what's going on with my father. I didn't want to keep doing this.

"You don't even know half of what you're capable of," she said. "And you're too selfish to put any of it to use."

"A moment of silence for all of my wasted talent," I kept my voice quiet, but she heard anyways.

I could feel her burning glare on the side of my head; she was completely done with me already and my mood continued to dwindle downwards with each step. Hime wiggled around in my grip, taking my attention off the situation. He was excited to see so many people around, so I put him up to my face, showing him an angry, over-dramatic face, and he purred, calming down.

I felt my white uniform blouse coming untucked from my tight jeans, and put Hime on my shoulder so I could push the blouse back inside. I listened to Kido and Yusuke talk about the city as I grabbed Hime from my shoulder, cradling him again. Kido wanted to defend this place, despite his lack of enthusiasm for living here. Strange way of putting it, but I guess your home is your home.

"The fact that someone is enjoying this..." Kido spat. "Disgusting."

Hime climbed up on my shoulder again, he was still small enough to lay his torso on my shoulder and balance without tearing my blouse with his claws, and I took advantage of not holding him and pat my hair once more, making sure it stayed in place. I had swiped a magazine at a small shop in the train station, and the ride here was long enough for me to entertain an attempt at a bohemian braided bun that I'd seen on one of the pages. Since all I had was a pocket mirror and the faint reflection of the train windows, I could only hope it looked fine.

"Don't haste," Genkai said, walking in front of us. "Keep in mind how dangerous this situation is."

I kept quiet, lurking behind the group, my messenger bag bounced on my hips as I walked. But I held my bag in place as Hime hissed, feeling the territory that had just expanded.

"You guys," my voice carried throughout the small group.

"Yeah, I know," Yusuke turned to me. "Can you find where the person is?"

"Being in a territory and then trying to find an aura is hard," I replied. "It's like... being in a pool. The person is the aura and the pool is the territory. The territory is thick; it's hard to find _anything_, let alone an aura. The only energy I can feel is the territory."

"Try," Yusuke said as I closed my eyes, sifting through the territory. "We're close, so it shouldn't be too hard."

That wasn't how it worked, but I kept my mouth shut, sifting through the territory. The pool analogy was fairly accurate. It's exactly how I felt once I stepped into a territory, a pressure around me, unfamiliar and overpowering, masking. Kido and Yanagisawa offered to help me sift through their territories on the way here, and it's helped... even though I haven't found an aura yet.

This time, I tried another aspect of the territory. I tried succumbing to the territory, trying to feel its vibrations and its own energy, just like an aura. Like a pool, I felt the vibrations, the waves of the energy, and was able to find the source. A body that emitted the territory.

"Down there," I said, pointing to a doorway. The sign next to the entryway read "Tsumikomi, Mah-Jong."

"This place seems fishy," Yusuke said as we stepped up to the entryway. "But nothing ventured, nothing gained. Let's go."

I grabbed Hime from my shoulder and put him in my messenger bag as we descended the stairs upon entering the doorway.

"Now, you be quiet," I leaned over slightly to my messenger bag, talking to Hime. "I don't need to get us kicked out because of you."

Hime meowed in response as we entered a nice little pub. Four men were at the table on the other side of the room, and two bartenders stood behind the counter.

"There's four of them," Kido's thoughts spilled into my head as I opened a connection around the bar, prying into everyone in the room. "One of them..."

I felt an intrusion in my head, a force prying around. I wasn't able to feel when Hiei did it, though I know he did it often.

But this was different.

"I can hear what you think," one of the men turned around from his chair to face us.

Yusuke moved aside, bringing me into the man's line of sight.

"So can she," He laughed, jabbing his thumb towards me.

Dammit, Yusuke. You don't just give away an upper-hand.

The man's gaze turned towards me, "Why are you here?"

"We're looking for someone who's diggin' a hole," Yusuke answered for me. "A big hole."

"That thing you call the hole of darkness?"

I should probably try prying now.

"Do you know something?" Kido asked.

"No, I just read your thoughts earlier as you came inside," the man replied.

As soon as I entered his head, there was a cluster of voices, he had no way of controlling his thoughts. It was hard to find his own, there were more voices than I'd picked up before in a long time. But as I tried again, he had zeroed in on me, and all I could hear was my own thoughts, loud and clear.

I turned towards Yusuke, "All I hear are my own thoughts among everyone else in the territory. We need to get him out of the territory."

"What's so difficult with just not thinking?" He asked.

"You would know, wouldn't you," I stared at him blankly, realizing that it may have been a good alternative, but it's a bit tricky to control your own unfiltered thoughts.

"I think I liked you more when you were a crybaby," he pushed his face in front of mine, contorting it into a mixture of a sneer and mug, a strange facial expression. "Now you've got this attitude, Hiei's rubbing off on ya."

"Don't compare me to someone who sleeps hanging upside-down," Hiei wasn't the reason for my shit attitude, this whole situation was.

He snickered, his expression changed instantly, "Does he really?"

"Might as well."

Kido stepped between us, breaking Yusuke away from my perimeter and dragging our attention away from each other. I listened to Kido's train of thought as he stepped up to the man. Worry and anxiety filled my chest and spread into my arms, Kido thought the man was bluffing even though my confirmation of his telepathy aired only seconds ago. Kido rushed at the man as he expanded his own territory, but he'd already picked up on Kido's thoughts and stepped backwards, avoiding Kido's step on his shadow.

And despite worrying about Kido jumping into this, I was a bit amused with how agile the man was. He delivered swift blows to Kido's torso, and one to his face, forcing Kido to the ground. The fight lasted maybe ten seconds, but my amusement rose as Yusuke stepped forward.

I couldn't read Yusuke or Genkai, so I had to hope Yusuke had a smart plan. My power was limited because it wasn't being drawn from the tunnel of darkness, but this man's power wasn't. He could read Yusuke, and I could probably channel through him if I kept my own thoughts quiet.

Yusuke began taking off his jacket and I backed up behind Genkai to stay clear from whatever damage might ensue. I pried into the man's head as Yusuke mentally told the man his plan, trying to stay silent. This guy was useful, since he could pry into stronger people who I couldn't pry into, I could use him to pry into others heads. If the person behind this tunnel was strong, and we could cross paths with him or his comrades, I could dig deep, just as I had with Sakyo in the hotel, providing the enemy was present.

The connection was instant, Yusuke's one track mind poured into my head.

_I'll charge right at him and punch him._ _I'll charge right at him and punch him. I'll charge right at him and punch him._

"Are you sure he'll be fine?" I asked Genkai, but she didn't respond.

It was smart though, to think nothing but that. Especially if he had somehow trained himself to plan and deter from his movements at the last second. Or maybe, just maybe, he was going to just charge at him and punch him, and the man would be no match.

"He won the Dark Tournament," she finally acknowledged my question. "He'll be fine."

I looked over to Yusuke, curious. I don't think I'd ever seen him fight before, so I was a bit eager to see what he could do. I watched Yusuke's relaxed posture, he tensed as I blinked. And when my vision focused again in that split second, the man's body was flying into the wall, Yusuke's body a few feet from where he originally had stood. I hadn't seen a thing!

My eyes darted back and forth between the motionless man and Yusuke, confused and a bit let down that I hadn't been able to see anything. The man was out cold as I walked up to him. Yanagisawa walked up to him from behind me and replicated him, his body shifted, morphing to take the man's form, an exact replica.

"He's clean," he replied after he took the man's form, thoughts and memories materializing in Yanagisawa's head.

"We can still use him," Genkai said.

"Good, I can go home," I sighed.

"Better two than one," Genkai glared up at me.

I sighed, agitated, as she ordered the boys to hoist the man up and leave the bar. Why couldn't she admit I was useless here, that I'd be better off at the tunnel?

About twenty minutes later when the man woke up, we sat in the park at the benches, convincing him to help us out. He obliged out of defeat. His name was Murota. I sat on the other side of the bench, facing him. We sat on the bench picking up the same thoughts in the area, and eventually, I cut off the connection to stop the obnoxious, indecipherable, echoing voices and he turned to me with a curious stare.

"Is yours voluntary?" Murota asked.

"Yeah," I replied quietly. "I can choose when I intrude."

"I can't, when I create my territory I hear everything," he said, sticking some more tissues up his nose to stop the bleeding. "Within a 30 meter range, I hear all the thoughts in that area."

"Then keep going," Genkai said. "Satomi, I also want you to dig inside deeper. Images, memories. Can you do that?"

"I can channel through Murota," I offered, the words flying out of my mouth without a second thought.

I groaned, why the hell did I offer? They could do this without me.

She nodded and I closed my eyes as I channeled through Murota, scanning people and their thoughts. I was limited in my powers, but he wasn't, his power somehow came from the tunnel.

It took a few hours, and my bottom hurt from sitting on the wooden bench for so long. I hadn't picked up anything suspicious, and I was beginning to hear my own voices from my head. I sighed, irritated, and tried separating my schizophrenia from the thoughts I wanted to pick up.

"What is that?" Murota looked over to me, hearing my voices.

"My head."

He turned away from me, wondering how I learned to push through those voices. He became a bit unnerved with them, a few were becoming violent, taking advantage of their limited though current freedom. They were beginning to form paranoid delusions, convincing me that everyone knew what I was doing: violating their personal space.

Finally, after about thirty seconds and being thoroughly convinced I was public-enemy number one in the area, I had successfully separated the thoughts and was able to focus on the people in the crowd. I steadied my breathing to calm myself, reassuring myself that nobody could know what I was doing, and continued to pry.

Luckily, some images soon passed by as I scanned through the crowd, and I backtracked, retracing the images to their holder. Pictures of a tunnel, a young man in the center, in a small body of water. I honed in on the person that held the images and memories, and channeled through Murota to listen to his thougts. He listed seven people, names, and began repeating phrases, conspiracies of mass murder.

_We'll slaughter them all._

_I'll dig graves and there won't be enough._

_Just continue to dig and dig._

Unfazed by the thoughts since I had heard worse from my head, I opened my eyes to look for Genkai, curious if Murota had already told them.

"Found him," I said quietly, Genkai turned to me from looking at Murota next to me.

He was gripping his head, shaking and mumbling, "He's here."

The man was purposely thinking those thoughts, who else walks around thinking disturbing things like that?

"Where is he?" Genkai couldn't get an answer from Murota.

He was still mumbling, running his words together, so she turned to me. I guess already dealing with blood thirsty voices made me immune to this guy's thoughts. I looked in the crowd and found a tall guy in a black shirt, and nodded.

"Don't point him out, Satomi," Yusuke said. "Just describe him."

I wouldn't have pointed at him anyways, feeling I was already hated by every person walking by, I didn't want to grab attention to myself.

"Tall guy, black hair," I started as Murota finished, staring him down, "He's dressed in black."

I turned away from the tall man in the crowd, trying to act like I wasn't paying any attention to the crowd of people walking by. I pet Hime, who had fallen asleep hours ago, and woke him up. His paws stretched as he rolled over, purring. I looked over to Murota, who had been unashamedly staring the man down. But a crimson liquid soon spurt from Murota's forehead.

My body jerked off the bench, falling backwards on the ground. Like a fountain, blood continued to pour as Yusuke caught Murota's faltering body. Shocked, shaking, I looked around the crowd for the taller man, wondering if it was his doing. Luckily, Murota's head was still working, I was still able to channel through him, he wasn't dead.

A calm voice seeped through, echoing in my head as it soon became the only voice I could hear.

_Just wanted to say hello, Urameshi._

The taller man's eyes met mine briefly when they turned away from Yusuke's. Hime whined and hissed in my grip, swiping his paws at the taller man's retreating figure. An amused sneer graced his features as he drifted back into the crowd, disappearing as I memorized his aura.

* * *

I stayed quiet while in the hospital. I was anything but comfortable in here. I was completely convinced every doctor or nurse that passed by was going to detain me. They could see how thin my body was becoming, they knew I hadn't eaten anything of real substance in days, they saw the bags forming under my eyes from lack of sleep that I had covered with make-up earlier today. But it was all in my head as I put Hime in my bag, and set it down on the chair next to me as we stood around Murota, waiting for information. I didn't speak up because I didn't know if he caught something I hadn't.

I had two faces in mind, two people, but only one aura.

"I'd like it if you all left me alone for now on," Murota looked down at the tiled floor. "I don't want to die."

"That's fine," I answered for the group, understanding his desire. "What'd you pick up?"

"Seven people," he looked at me, making sure he remembered that from the right person. I nodded in agreement.

"Dark angel, gate-keeper, sniper," I listed, and Murota finished them, "Gourmet, Game master, and Seaman."

"Doctor," I reminded him of the last one.

"But there was another name," Murota spoke up. "It was strange, it flickered by quickly."

"So eight people," I noted.

"No, seven," Yusuke said. "If he can't even think about another member, they're probably not worthwhile."

"Think of the memory," I turned to Murota. "I'll pick it up."

I delved into his head as he flickered by what I had missed amid the multiple voices in my head.

"Detonate," I mumbled.

"Code names," Yusuke said. Lame code name for the last person. "Probably has to do with their powers."

"So is that taller guy Sniper?" I looked at Murota's injured forehead, wondering what could have cracked his skull.

"No," Genkai held up a small piece of hardened, chewed gum. "The projectile came from the front; the man wasn't in front of Murota."

"My skull was cracked by that?!" Murota exclaimed.

Genkai threw it to me, "Track it."

I caught the hardened gum and memorized the small amount of aura that emitted from it, but I felt it was useless to look for the sniper. What good would it do now? I didn't feel comfortable giving them information to lead them to what may as well have been a full-blown battle. I'd be caught in the middle, and Genkai wouldn't let me leave if we were lead anywhere close to the tunnel. She'd probably make me close the tunnel, something I couldn't do anyways.

Finding the sniper wasn't a priority now.

"I'll keep the energy memorized," I said quietly, irritated, as I chucked the gum on the floor.

In seconds, as the gum bounced from the floor, a territory extended over the hospital. Instantly, I remember the doctor who'd given my evaluation and tried looking for the aura. That disturbing, unwelcome feeling when I dipped into his head...

"Can you find him?" Yusuke asked.

I closed my eyes, sifting through the territory again. I was getting better at this. Yusuke spouted some orders and everyone crowded around me with their backs towards me, eliminating blind spots. I concentrated, maneuvering my search as if I was in water, pushing past the territory, the energy. It took minutes, and someone collapsed to the floor beside me.

I became nervous, scared, panicking myself into a hurry. This territory was large, it covered a vast area. A sharp headache formed and I dropped to the floor, squatting, holding my forehead. But soon, I traced the source of the territory, finding the source. He was enveloped in the territory's energy, as if he was exuding it.

"Got'em," I gasped as I opened my eyes. I clutched my head as I yelled up at Yusuke, "First floor!"

Yusuke ran down the stairs, a chorus of screams came from below, sourcing from his destination. I stood up, blood rushing to my head from the headache, my eyes slowly carried around the floor, scanning my surroundings. Genkai had disappeared, Murota and Yanagisawa were on the ground, their skin discolored, their body movement sluggish.

I knelt towards Yanagisawa, anxious about his skin discoloration, was it contagious?

I didn't have long to think about that as a chorus of buzzing echoed from the hallway.

My legs worked on their own, pushing me towards Hime, who'd crawled out of the bag and made his way underneath the chairs.

"Now is _not _the time, Hime," I snapped, reaching underneath the chairs on my knees for the hissing kitten.

The buzzing from the strange flies grew louder, and I grabbed Hime's neck, dragging him out as I snatched my bag. I descended the stairs, leaping down two or three at a time, digging out my phone. I made it to the first floor, avoiding the bugs as I cradled Hime. I dialed a familiar number as I roamed the hospital's first floor, looking for Yusuke or Genkai, even Kido, who had disappeared a while ago.

"You owe me ten bucks!" I snapped into the phone when the ringing came to a stop. "I told you something would happen and I'd get caught in it!"

"What's happening?" Kurama asked, his voice almost amused with the mentioning of our bet. A hint of worry was tied in, though.

"A bit much to explain," I said, rounding a corner. "But we found someone who knows about the—"

My shrieking echoed down the hallway, possibly breaking Kurama's eardrums on the other end of the phone. I lost my balance, barely evading the large body that flew past me, and fell backwards.

"Satomi!" Yusuke snapped at me from the hallway, and I looked over from Yusuke to the battered doctor.

His hair covered his eyes as he stood up from the wall, shaking slightly from Yusuke's attack. I couldn't tell if he was the doctor from my evaluation.

"Get out of here!"

I pushed myself up, slapping my phone to the side of my face as I rushed down the hallway.

"That's what I've tried to do_ all day_!" I yelled, rounding another corner as I shoved Hime into my bag.

"I told you, I told you," I panted. "Nobody wants to listen to me, I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off being completely USELESS. I would've been better off with you guys."

I came up to a stretcher in the middle of the hallway surrounded by fallen nurses and moved past it, stepping over them as I briefly glanced at the person lying on it.

Kido.

I stopped running, double checking to make sure it was him.

Blood covered the side of the stretcher, a deep crimson soaking in the sheets... his wrist.

The doctor.

Satoshi.

Satoshi's wrists.

"Satomi," Kurama's voice dwindled away from the phone as my hand fell to my side.

All that blood...

Buzzing snapped me out of the trance, and I looked behind me, finding a small swarm of bugs closing in. My hands grabbed the stretcher and pulled Kido along with me to the nearest room, locking the door behind me as my anxiety spiked.

Kido's wrist.

Satoshi's wrists.

"I told you I'd end up locking myself in a closet," I squeaked into the phone, looking around the room for something to save Kido. "Okay, maybe this isn't a closet but..."

The dial tone rang, and I looked at the signal on my screen... one bar. Maybe the call dropped.

Okay, Satomi, okay.

I looked around the room, finding something to close the gash the doctor inflicted on Kido. I roamed around the room, looking for the surgical supplies. Glass-door closet, surgical supplies visible. I stepped over the motionless doctor bodies and made my way to the closet, but it was locked as I budged it. I rolled up my sleeves and rammed my elbow into the glass, closing my eyes as I shattered it. I pushed the glass around, moving it out-of-the-way as I reached inside and unlocked the hinge in the back of the door.

A medical professional should really be tending to Kido.

I don't know what I'm doing, oh god, I should just wait for someone.

But he could bleed out if I don't do anything.

I grabbed a bottle and read its directions and threw it on Kido's stretcher, watching it bounce slightly but stop as it hit his leg. I grabbed the medical stitches kit and some gauze and turned around, seeing the dead doctors bodies sprawled out on the floor, their keys glistening from their sides, reflecting the light above them.

Why didn't I think of just grabbing their keys? I groaned as I stepped over them, brushing off my elbow as I stepped up next to Kido.

I flipped his wrist over, viewing the cut... my stomach churned, remembering Satoshi's wrists.

The doctor and Satoshi didn't know how to slice wrists; you go down the street, not across, not diagonal.

You want to cut that artery so the doctors can't repair it, or at least bleed out before they can get to you.

Luckily, the cut was nowhere near Kido's artery. I could save Kido... maybe.

I gently spread the cut, making sure the artery was still intact, just in-case, but I felt something creep up my throat. What could I possibly throw up? Maybe the little pack of complimentary crackers I snatched from the little café at the train station. Other than that, only stomach acid bubbled around in my stomach. When was the last time I actually had a meal? I looked up to the ceiling, taking deep, calming breaths.

Don't throw up in Kido's wound, Satomi, don't throw up.

I turned back to Kido's wrist and cleaned out his cut. It wasn't too deep, but he'd been bleeding for a while, a few minutes. His artery didn't seem to be nicked, just flesh cut deep. What even happened down here? Maybe this was what caused the chorus of screams I heard when Yusuke marched down here. I began prepping the stitches, and laced the thread through his skin, sewing his wrist together. My heart beat frantically as my throat tightened, scared of messing up.

Oh god, is that a hair in his wound? Is that my hair in his wound that I just sewed over? Oh my god.

Oh, it's just the stitches thread.

I inhaled, holding my breath as I continued to sew up his wrist.

Should I even do this? What if I was doing it wrong?

This is your future profession? Suck it up then!

Shut up and sew. Stop the blood flow, just sew.

Sew. Sewing. Sowing. Sowing the seeds of love.

Satoshi's choice of music.

Okay, maybe the words were different, but in English they sounded the same.

Pay attention.

Minutes passed as my trembling fingers helped lace the rest of the stitches through his wrist, closing his wound, and I soon wrapped his wrist with gauze for any leakage.

A medical professional should have done that.

What if I ruined his hand? What if I did it wrong?

What if they have to cut it off because I didn't treat it properly? Were stitches even necessary?

Shut up, it's closed, he's not bleeding. Go find Yusuke or a doctor.

I threw everything on a nearby surgical gurney and peered out of the slim glass window on the door, slowly opening the door to glance around.

No bugs.

I grabbed my bag and Hime, and searched for Yusuke to remind him of his fallen friend. Kido might need a blood transfusion or something, there was so much blood on that stretcher. How long had he been unconscious?

I backtracked my steps, returning to where I had seen Yusuke last, stepping over fallen staff and patients. I rounded a corner as the territory disintegrated, disappearing completely.

My eyes searched the hallway as I looked for Yusuke's aura. But the feeling of multiple aura's enveloped me at once and despite feeling safe, covered, it took a few seconds to concentrate. I turned around, viewing the other end of the hallway, finding Yusuke leaning over a broken window.

"Kido's bleeding out!" I rushed over to him, feeling stomach acid wash up against the walls of my stomach.

His eyes flashed, as if to become suddenly awake, snapping out of an unwelcome train of thought, and turned to view me as I stepped up to him. He shoved his hands into his pants pockets, looked to me, then back out of the window, towards the motionless body of the enemy, the doctor.

Genkai hovered over the doctor, and I felt the urge to ask her, "On a scale of one to ten, how useless was I today?"

Because aside from memorizing the aura of two of our enemies, I was dead weight. I just spent the last ten minutes running around the hospital in a useless frenzy. Maybe now she'd want to leave me out of this.

But I held my tongue and let my eyes follow Yusuke's, staring down at the doctor I presumed had given my evaluation.

"Kido's bleeding out," I said again.

"Oh, crap!" Yusuke's hands shot out of his pockets, remembering Kido in the room.

He had been in there when the doctor attacked Kido, I presumed.

"He's around the corner, look for the room with a stretcher inside," I stepped up to the broken window trying to view the doctor's face clearly. "Is he one of the seven?"

"Yeah," Yusuke sprinted down the hall, and an unusual feeling numbed my fingers, dispersing all traces of anxiety.

That wasn't the doctor who'd evaluated me.

Humans... People were just as disturbed as the seven we were up against.


	26. Leave Before the Lights Come On

Vicodin gave this strange feeling, loose and relaxed, and I hadn't a care in the world while walking home from my appointment. Kobayashi wasn't too keen on giving me the little white pill for my little tattoo, but I complained enough for him to give in.

But after staying up for two days straight, having not eaten for probably longer, I was exhausted, and my stomach was cramping. A storm was in my stomach, knocking around the stomach acid, or so it seemed.

As I vomited in the toilet, making it just in time to the bathroom, I remembered Kobayashi's heeding: if you feel anything other than right, call him.

This wasn't right... I think.

What surprised me most was there was nothing in my stomach to throw up, but there were still little chunks in the water that I stared at it for a while as I lay my face on the seat, curious about what those could have been. My ears were ringing for a while, then cotton mouth took place, and I became tired and dizzy, all mixing in with the lovely loose feeling throughout my body.

Kobayashi didn't seem too happy about my phone call, but it was hard to tell if he was ever anything other than angry. I even tried calling Kurama, but after dealing with Kobayashi, my fingers were so heavy, I was so heavy. My bed was enveloping me, allowing my tired, now uncomfortable body to sink into the duvet, molding to my body's frame.

I stared mindlessly at the TV screen, forcing myself to stay awake, but I was unable to focus on the plot. It was as if I'd entered some strange stage of sleep, where I was between consciousness and the dream weaver's embrace, aware of everything, yet at the same time, unable to process reality. Soon, as my eyelids were beginning to close, a voice rang out from my living room, and a burly Kobayashi hurried into my room, darting straight to my bed.

"No," his large hand cupped my jaw, but his protests soon drowned out. "Open your eyes."

I could only hope he'd stay calm and not admit me to a hospital, since I'd only fallen asleep.

* * *

And soon, hours later in the middle of the night, I rolled over, becoming fully awake. I could feel another presence in my room, and remembered Kobayashi and my phone call.

Weak-legged, still drained, I walked out to find Kobayashi sitting at the dinner table. Hime sat in his lap, enjoying the attention. Small take-out boxes sat on the table, the smell of spices, meat, and soup filled the living room. He'd turned on a nature channel on the TV, sounds of animals and crying insects calmed the room.

He noticed me as I saw Hime had made himself comfortable on his lap, enjoying the attention. Even in the dim yellow lighting, Kobayashi's body tattoo stood out, bright and colorful. He sat at the dinner table, which held an assortment of take out boxes.

"How're you feeling?" He was relieved, he had spent the last few hours chiding himself about giving me the pill.

I'd triggered flashbacks to Yayoi.

"Better."

He gestured to the take out boxes as I sat down.

"Where's your mom?"

"America."

"The fuck is wrong with her?" He grumbled as he filled his own plate. "Leaving you like this. Your kitchen is shit, no food. Only some junk."

"It's not usually like that," My voice was low as I tried defending my mother, because the kitchen was my fault alone. My lack of appetite kept me from going in there often. "It's not her fault."

"When's the last time you ate?"

"I don't know," I piled on food to the plate, and my stomach churned at the thought of eating all that I had grabbed.

"This isn't her fault," I tried once more, hoping he'd take the blame off her.

An unusual staring match ensued, and he soon broke eye contact as he nodded, turning back to his own plate. I began pushing food around on my plate, unsure of how I was going to eat all the food.

As he looked up at me, I put some food up to my mouth, "How long have you been here?"

"Got here around five. It was hard to find your apartment complex," his attention turned to his plate again, and I set my chopsticks down and pushed my food around.

"Is it normal to throw up from Vicodin?" I moved the food to my mouth as he looked to me.

"Well," his head turned down as he took a bite of his own food. "Yeah, I've seen it happen, it's a less severe side effect. Normally, you should only be nauseous with an empty stomach. I guess since you haven't been eating..."

I set the food down again, pushed it around on the plate, and brought it back up to my mouth again when he lifted his head.

"So—"

"Don't fucking play that game with me," My chopsticks dropped from my grip in shock as my eyes drifted to the sliding glass door, seeing if it'd cracked from his roar. Even Hime had jumped off his lap in fright as small pieces of meat and rice fell on the table. "Yayoi played that, I know it when I see it. Eat."

After quickly shoving food in my mouth, not wanting to anger with a man five times my size, I sat back in my chair and held my stomach. I was going to vomit all over the kitchen table and I was going to make him clean it up…

When he finished eating, he began cleaning up the table, setting dishes in the washer, putting the uneaten boxes into the fridge, and I got up to vomit in the bathroom.

"Sit," he snapped his fingers and pointed to the chair, and I obliged.

"I'm going to vomit and you're cleaning it up," I mumbled.

"You won't vomit, just take deep breaths when I'm done," he walked over and squatted next to me, snapping his fingers for my attention. "Let me see your eyes."

He inspected my eyes for discoloring as he placed his finger under my jaw, checking my pulse. And when it was suitable for him, he went straight for his jacket, finding his work here done.

I watched him zip up, shielding himself from the cold outside, "Thanks."

"Eat something," he looked down to me as he opened the front door. "You don't want your mom to come back and see you like this. Look, your stomach's bloating now. _Eat,_ girl."

Before he stepped out, I let some words fly out of my mouth, curiosity overtaking me since I didn't know when I'd see him again (when was I going learn?).

"Was it Vicodin?" He knew exactly what I was referring to.

"No. They were my pills," Yayoi passed through his mind. "I got a bad back when I used to work in construction."

More images passed through my head and I grimaced, completely disgusted as I realized that wasn't the only reason why he used those pills.

I knew they had insane intimacies and that was... gross to see.

Now the images were stuck in my head.

I avoided eye contact as he opened the door, but despite his past intimacies with his wife plaguing my head, I looked back up to him, staring at his goatee.

"Thanks," I tried to push the scene from my memory.

"The next time we meet, I better not see a skeleton," the front door closed gently behind him.

My stomach churned harder than before at the images, and I made it to the toilet in time to waste the first meal I'd had in days.

* * *

When the sun had risen, I gave up my babysitting, convinced I couldn't delve into his head anyways. I had developed a headache, only making me more agitated. I understood why Genkai and Koenma thought I could help, but the most they could get out of me was finding him, keeping track of him, not much use when you want to find out what his next move is.

I lifted myself up on my bed, and a seductive, tingling sensation crawled down my shoulder-blade as my shoulder cracked. Cold wind pressed against my face, prompting me to look out of the open window to see the dark, clouded sky. I shivered a bit, wondering why I hadn't closed the window.

Oh, Hiei.

I always left it open for him, I don't remember the last time I had it closed since I met him. I tugged on the sleeves of my pajama shirt, it was thin and did nothing against the cold, but I was too lazy to change it and, sadly, too hopeful to close the window.

I shoved his rude ass out of my thoughts and returned to my issue, about how I felt I was really of no use in this situation. I'd have to pull myself out of this sooner than later. I could locate the man, but I couldn't read him, which was more vital now.

I took a deep breath and looked at Hime sleeping soundly in front of me. The little freeloader was lucky, he had it made here and he didn't have to deal with anything.

Forcing myself out of the tunnel situation, I turned on my clunky computer, wishing that my father's previous company could hurry up and make their computers more visually appealing. It's almost the 21st century, c'mon, pick up the pace.

As I waited for the internet to load, the seven names popped up into my head, and the eighth followed soon after.

"Nope," I shooed them away from my thoughts as I loaded Harvard's website to print out their application. "Not my problem…"

As I scanned over the freshly printed page, trying to translate the words from English to Japanese on my own as a test, I listened to the stereo that had played for a while. I forgot how much Satoshi loved this band, it was probably his favorite.

_Welcome to your life, there's no turning back._

"Even while we sleep, we will find you," I mouthed along to the song absent-mindedly, trying to translate the prompt. "Acting on your best behavior..."

Mindlessly, mid-lip-syncing, I eyed my desk, and realized something was missing...

My heart rate escalated as I shuffled through the papers on my desk. It was gone. My brother's poem was gone. I began throwing things off my desk in a frantic hope of it magically appearing, but when there was nothing but the desktop and the keyboard left, I got down on my knees and started searching in the pile of junk that lay on the floor. That was all I had of him. My body shook, in shock of losing the only physical momento I had of him...

Who would take it? Kobayashi? Why would he want that? Hiei wouldn't take it, like he gives a shit about my personal belongings. Kurama wouldn't take it. My mother...? Maybe, but it didn't have his name on it. His handwriting, though... I wasn't sure if she could recognize that.

Okay, calm down. If your mother didn't take it, it's probably in your room, misplaced.

Calm down.

I tried steadying my breathing to take my mind off the missing momento. It was here somewhere.

Too late, my anxiety spiked.

I instantly remembered why I shoved the paper away in the first place, to repress the memory. I remembered my session with my psychiatrist; his reassurance rang through my head as my body began shaking. He scribbled a prescription on the paper as he calmly reassured me it wasn't my fault.

Shut down.

Shut down or get out of here.

Get out of here.

My breathing quickened; I quickly grabbed a sweatshirt and ran out of my apartment, pushing the memory away, pretending it was a dream.

Just walk aimlessly, it was a dream and it would leave you alone soon.

I slipped the sweatshirt on as I exited the apartment complex, taking in the openness of the street. I watched as cars passed by, people shuffled around on the street to their destination. I steadied my breathing therapeutically, calming my anxiety, continuing to convince myself it was a dream.

I just needed to walk around, breathe, and I'd be fine. It was a dream and I'd be fine.

But it quickly became a chore, walking around aimlessly to push thoughts out of my head, especially with anger and self-hatred replacing my anxiety.

Soon I passed by a library. I knew this library, and I wanted more than anything to go inside since they had a kids section on the second floor where they played cartoons. That'd be great now.

To just sit in front of a TV and find some amusement, forget about losing the poem.

The poem was probably in my room, it's fine.

Upon entering the library, I noticed the far wall was a window, encompassing the entire two stories, showing the bushes and small amount of trees that shielded the main street. I walked towards the staircase, my slippers squeaked against the tile flooring as I read the genres on the bookcases I passed. I paid no particular interest until one genre caught my eyes.

Quickly, I grabbed the little stool that stood against the edge of the bookcase and maneuvered into the aisle.

European religious text. I grabbed multiple books and carried them awkwardly to a table in the back of the library near the window, all thoughts of entertaining myself in the children's room with cartoons had disappeared.

Japan had a period of isolation, with limited contact with other nations, and that allowed my narrowed search for Priestesses in Japan. But because white people liked to go all over the damn world, immigrate, and colonize (well, take) land, it was highly unlikely for me to ever find what I had descended from. Since my father's side had given me psychic abilities, it'd be hard to find out what I was.

But I had to try.

I set about seven books down on the table and skimmed through each table of contents, trying to find out German religious rituals but all I found was Paganism. That didn't make much sense.

Okay, time to think, Satomi.

Priestesses took on many names and different duties throughout the world, depending on religion. I held my forehead, thinking quickly as I tapped my nail on the page. I couldn't rule out that my family line could have immigrated around Europe, and my father only knew his family history up until the early 1800's.

I sifted around the table of contents again in each book, searching certain words, reading the religious rights and classes that existed throughout Europe.

Eventually, discouraged at the countless amount of religions and types of priests, I gave up the witch hunt. But I continued reading with interest, reading new-found religions and how certain "priests" conducted their rituals.

But soon, making it only halfway through one of my chosen books, I looked over from my table to the stair case that led to the children's room.

I remembered my initial quest for entering the library, and remembered how comforting I had felt at the idea. I dumped the six other books on the return cart and made my way upstairs, keeping the book tucked under my arm.

The wide room was colorful with paintings on the wall, small bookcases scattered throughout the room, unattended. Children stood in the middle of the room in front of the TV, immersed in the animated movie.

I watched the group of children, imitating the actions on the screen. The characters on-screen pushed their arms upwards, using magic to force the tree to grow. They imitated the actions, pushing their arms into the air; the little sprout on TV grew along with their efforts.

The children believed they were really a part of the movie, that their efforts caused the tree to grow.

Sadness and envy washed over me as I watched them, and I felt a presence behind me.

_I've spoken to Kurama._

Hiei.

Goddammit.

The conversation between Kurama and I became familiar in my head. My face burned, a feeling of pins and needles in my cheeks.

_He said you had seen the person who's responsible for the tunnel._

I sighed, relief flooded through me, he didn't know about the other conversation.

_Koenma wants to see you._

_Why are you playing messenger?_ I asked, keeping my back turned towards him. Wouldn't Botan pick me up if Koenma wanted to see me?_ I thought you didn't care about the human world… Oh, Botan's promise didn't follow through?_

I turned to see him, the feeling pins and needles was still strong, and I pulled the book up to cover my mouth. He seemed irritated about his offer having fallen through, his mouth twitched to a slight scowl. I was right.

_I also know about the other conversation, wench,_ he snapped.

I groaned, turning my attention back to the children, watching their excited responses of seeing the tree grow so tall, reaching hundreds of feet in height.

_That's a cute pet name, got anymore?_ It went from girl, to Yue, then interchanged from girl to woman, and now wench. Next it was going to be "slave" or something of the sort.

_He said it's important,_ his tone was dry as he changed the subject, unamused with me.

I sighed, watching the kids, avoiding eye contact with Hiei as he stepped up next to me. They were jumping for joy, cheering, as they realized how tall they'd helped the tree grow.

Those children had no idea how miserable they were going to become growing up. Everything turns to shit when you grow older. Everything turns to shit when you're introduced to reality.

_Let me just rent this first, _I gestured at the book.

He watched me, waiting for me to move.

_And let me finish the movie, _I continued to stall.

_Time to grow up and rid yourself of this childish complex. I'm not waiting for you, we're leaving now._

As he reached for my forearm, I quickly slapped the book on his chest and let go. He grabbed it to prevent it from dropping and dragging attention to us.

_Then don't wait for me. I'm staying until the movie's finished. You can show up to Koenma's office alone._

I waved to him as I walked over to the kids, who all looked up at me with curious expressions as I sat down next to them.

"What movie is this?" I leaned in to the girl I sat next to.

She shrugged, honestly unsure, and we turned back to the movie.

"Are you in your pajamas?" A little boy asked.

"Yup."

"Why?"

"Because I want to."

"Okay," He turned back to the movie, returning to his imagination, and I followed suit.

I peered over my shoulder back to the staircase a few times during the movie, seeing Hiei. He was agitated as he leaned against the back wall, with his arms crossed against his chest as he waited for me. I wasn't going to let sourpuss ruin the movie, though, because I loved it.

Watching the Nekobasu travel and chauffeur the girls around was probably my favorite part of the movie.

* * *

As Koenma shuffled through the papers on his desk, I tapped my foot, waiting for him to present whatever conversation or information he'd dragged me here for. Hiei left upon my arrival, sticking true to his messenger role, but it surprised me since he was usually nosy. I was a soap opera to him after all.

"I need you to confirm my suspicions," Koenma handed me a folder, and I set my book down on the table to flip through it.

Sensui, Shinobu.

My eyes skimmed past the stats before hitting the slightly outdated mug shot of him in the top left corner. Regardless, it wasn't hard to forget that face.

"That's him," I trailed my bare nail down the other stats and realized I was in drastic need of a manicure.

"And you've watched over him?"

"Yeah, this morning," I pulled my hair over to lay on my right shoulder. "But I haven't picked up anything. I can't. He's just sitting in a cave on a couch, he's a freak."

Koenma looked down at his desk and grumbled a bit, but remembered something and changed the subject, knowing the issue with Sensui was his to figure out, not mine.

"We also received information about Daniel," Koenma's sudden knowledge of my father's coworker raised my interest. "The man who informed your mother about your father's death."

Surprised he knew about that, "And?"

"He was given instructions to tell your mother of his death if it ever occurred in a situation involving the Black Black Club," Koenma replied. "He had no ties to the Club, other than your father."

"So you're letting him go?" I was suspicious of Koenma bringing him up. Was that all he did?

"No," Koenma was blunt, but he took it casually as he reached for the book I set down minutes ago.

I tried delving into his head, something I had never done before, but no avail. He did not answer me; I assumed the worst for poor Daniel.

Not my problem.

"By the way," I watched as Koenma sifted through the book, heading straight to where I'd left off, flipping to the dog-eared page. I turned back to the file in my hands, tracing my finger down Sensui's stats, "What about my father and his soul not making it here?"

"THAT'S IT!"

I jumped at his exclamation, dropping the folder and its contents on the floor.

Koenma jumped from his seat and ran towards a back room, and despite my raising heart rate, I found his waddling amusing. I quickly bent down on the floor to pick up the spilled paperwork and place it back in the folder.

"George! Where is Satomi's file?" Koenma's voice carried from the back room.

I stood up and placed the folder on the desk as the blue ogre I'd seen from the tournament scrambled out of the room. We exchanged awkward, acknowledging smiles as he shuffled through all the paperwork on Koenma's messy desk.

"Right here, Koenma-sama!" George picked up a file and began running back to the room.

The possible information in that folder caused my eyes to glance over to the book I'd brought. Scared, I snatched it up, reading the chapter he'd left open.

_Gruid._

My legs began carrying me backwards, towards the door, as Koenma came out of the room to meet George half way.

"Satomi, go see Genkai!" He snatched the folder from George and turned back towards the room in frenzy. "She'll be able to help you close that tunnel."

My heart jumped into my throat. I couldn't have this responsibility. Why did I have this responsibility?

The sound of tumbling boxes and shuffling papers sounded from the back room, and Koenma's voice rang once more to nobody in particular, but it prompted my fear regardless.

"Two tunnel voids in Japan!"

I had no idea what that meant and I didn't care about what my father had to do with this anymore, I didn't care about any of this anymore.

I didn't want to be a part of this anymore. Not with this responsibility.

George's voice was next, "Your father won't be happy about you missing that, Koenma-sama."

"Shut up, George!"

I turned and ran, passing by Kurama as the large door opened.

"Satomi, what are you doing here?" He stepped inside, moving past me.

Oh, thank god, he could get me out of here. No, wait.

He knew when something was wrong with me, he knew when I was lying.

I quickly looked down the hall for Hiei or Botan, someone else to get me out of this place.

"I'm getting the hell out of here, that's what I'm doing," I hissed, looking both ways down the hallway, as if crossing a street. "He found out something about me and he wants me at Genkai's. That's _bad_."

Before Kurama could say anything, corner me about my behavior, I took off, looking for a guide back to the human world.

Hiei was gone, why did he leave me? I wouldn't have to lie to him about where I was really going, he wouldn't care if I was running from obligations. Dammit, he's such a prick. He could have waited _ten_ damn minutes, he was nosy anyways! Why couldn't he have just stayed?

No presence was close, but I followed Botan's aura, winding around the maze-like hallways in search of her. But soon, after becoming lost and realizing her aura had situated itself in Koenma's office, I stood still in the hallway, wondering how I'd get out of here.

I'd lie. I didn't want to, but I'd lie.

I stood still, keeping my place in the hallway, and curiously opened the book, reading the chapter quickly, skimming through sub-chapters.

Gruids.

Pagan religion. Priestly class that existed thousands of years ago, rose to some power in the The Iron Age. That was at least 1200 B.C.

Considered to be legendary figures since so little of them were around, and they left no written accounts of their work. They were known to have existed, many historical figures had written of them. They were mainly from Britain and Ireland and… Not from Germany. But I remembered I couldn't rule out the possibility of immigration. No written accounts of the practices.

My heart jumped into my throat, my breath lost, as I found the next sub-chapter.

Religious sacrifice.

Animals, other humans, sometimes suicide (or formally, "sacrificing themselves"); ranked in order of appeasement to the gods.

In particular, they were said to burn others at the stake.

What the hell did Koenma want me to do? Immolate a group of people to ask the gods to spare our lives and close the tunnel?

I sighed; my heart beat frantically in my throat. That didn't tell me anything about what Koenma was so excited about, but then again, this was written by humans. He must have an archive that could tell him everything.

No more, I thought as I closed the book. No more thinking about this.

"Satomi!" Botan seemingly appeared out of nowhere, my legs carried my startled body backwards, stumbling. "Koenma says to take you to Genkai. He says he knows you can close the tunnel with her help."

"Uh," I looked at her the sleeve of her pink kimono, unable to lie to her face. "You can just drop me at my house, I need to get some things before I go over to her place."

An oar materialized at her side, falling gently into her hand as she smiled, "Alright."

Why did her smile make me feel guilty? I mean, what if I messed up and ruined everything?

Before, I wanted to pull out of this because I felt useless, but now I was given a tremendous responsibility by having my supposed tunnel abilities verified. They would all count on me, and I might let them down by failing.

What if I wasn't strong enough to close the tunnel, even with Genkai's help? It was perfectly rational to be scared and want to hide in this kind of situation... right?

I'd just go home, mull it over, hopefully gather some courage, and head over to Genkai's.

Hopefully.


	27. The Boy With the Thorn In His Side

**A/N: **Little announcement for Satomi's ancestry: it's completely fictional. For what I have in mind, I would end up completely butchering any historical group of people out there associated with the religion, so I decided to take a completely fictional route to stay respectful.

They'll be explained bit by bit soon.

* * *

At first, I didn't understand why the song was skipping, there were sharp squeaks every so often, occurring every two and a half seconds.

I soon realized it wasn't a scratch on my CD, it was my baby sister.

I whipped around in my chair, taking my eyes off the computer screen, where I was talking to Craig, just as she squeaked my name through sharp, choppy inhales. Our eyes met, hers seeing mine through thick, clumped lashes matted together from her tears, her face flushed red. She'd just spent the last two hours sobbing in her room.

"Satoshi," her voice cracked, breaking slightly as she inhaled, trying to speak clearly.

_The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had._

I jumped up from my chair, jogging towards her to lead her into my room, guiding her to my bed.

_When people run in circles it's a very, very—_

"What's wrong?" I grabbed the headband from behind her as she sat down, and shoved it into my hair, trying to show her a clear face, to remind her she was going to be fine.

"Dad's going to die," she cried, whining the last few words. "He's going to die on his way home."

"He's already home," I grabbed her shoulders, gripping them gently, shaking her to bring her back to reality.

"But he's—"

"Watch, I'll show you," I pushed my face into hers, grabbing her attention. I quickly stood up, knowing that it wasn't easy to snap her out of her delusions, but proving them wrong helped, it reminded her that her head was only convincing her of falsities. "He's home and he's fine, I'll get him."

_Mad world_

Though I often heard voices, they never seemed as disturbed as hers.

Her breathing became irregular as she choked on sharp inhales, hiccupping. I slammed my hand into the stereo's power button, turning it off, and made my way down the hallway, towards our parent's room. I didn't bother muffling my footsteps as I trotted into the master bedroom, opening the door without knocking.

"Dad," I knew he came home earlier this morning. From where, though, I was unsure. "Satomi's having an episode."

He stirred from under the bed sheets, his blonde hair bouncing slightly as he rolled on his side, facing away from me.

"I need to sleep," he mumbled, his words mixed with exhaustion, slurred.

"Dad, she's having an episode," I raised my voice. "She needs to see you."

"You can handle it."

Anger bubbled in my chest as my grip on the doorknob tightened; he always neglected her when she had an episode, as if it was contagious. I knew her episodes reminded him of Grandma Jeanne, it worried him, scared him, possibly triggered memories of his mother's episodes, and he distanced himself with every episode my baby sister had. Even though she was his favorite, his little "princess" that he showered with gifts, money, and attention, he turned tail and ran when she had an episode.

Lately, her episodes had been fairly frequent, and he'd be gone on business trips often. I could only imagine how relieved he'd been feeling for almost the past year, being away so often on trips around Japan and other countries. Ever since his promotion at Yamamoto Technologies, becoming the Chief Operations Officer at the private owned company that specialized in making computers, he'd been absent for weeks at a time. And with my baby sister's episodes becoming frequent, he avoided her like the plague, running out on her at every opening he received.

And after hearing his conversation on the phone hours ago with his boss, when I heard him walking upstairs to his bedroom, he'd soon transfer to the subsidiary that Yamamoto Tech. would launch, becoming the Chief Executive Officer, and I doubt he'd come home at all. But today wasn't the day to break that news to my baby sister.

"She thinks you're dead," I raised my voice, trying to wake him up and show some care for his favorite child. "The least you can do is walk in there and show her so her head can stop. You don't even need to say anything."

He stayed silent, pretending to sleep; his body raised and fell slightly underneath the covers.

He believed that even if he ignored her, he could send her money or expensive clothing and jewelry to make up for it, essentially spoiling the ten-year old rotten. And she would fall for it, because she'd follow him around the house when their schedules intersected, trying to interact with her beloved daddy, yet he'd be high-tailing it out the door.

I slammed the door behind me as I stomped down the hallway, ruining his attempt at sleeping. I returned to my room in search of the paper bags I kept in my computer desk's drawer for this occasion. My eyes drifted by my baby sister's trembling figure, she had curled up into a ball on the bed, hoping to disappear.

I knew the two of us were glad Mom wasn't home. She'd come in the room and smother her daughter, hold her and cry and beg her to stop saying horrible things, as if she could help it.

As much as I loved my mom, and I loved her to death, the way she tried "helping" my baby sister was horrible. Disgusting, really.

"Stop saying those things," my mom would cry with her, choking back sobs as she shook Satomi. As if she would turn off with a harsh shake, "You're hurting mommy, you're scaring her."

Saying those things to her already mentally and emotionally distraught daughter was harmful and dangerous, and only escalated the fear instilled in my baby sister.

Shiori, _Shoe_, and I were the only people capable of helping her, and we all had different ways of going about it. I took a more physical approach.

Upon retrieving the bag, I slapped it on my knee, pinching it by the tips, and it opened easily.

"Breathe in," I picked her up, pulling her by her shoulders to sit up straight, and handed her the bag. "You heard Dad's voice, didn't you?"

Her hands gripped it; I was surprised she could even see past the tears clogged in her eyes. She looked tired, exhausted, as if they'd kept her up all night. She stuck it against her mouth, breathing in, concentrating.

"You heard Dad's voice, didn't you?" I asked again, talking slower to mirror the emotional state she was trying to obtain. "He's home and he's fine."

I pressed my lips against her forehead, and massaged her temples, rocking her back and forth for a therapeutic, calming repetition as she steadied her breathing.

Inhale, back—exhale, forth—inhale, back...

I continued for a while, waiting for her to calm down enough to show her physically, bring her to him. And soon, after maybe two minutes, I helped her stand up and guided her down the hall to our parent's bedroom. She clutched on my shirt all the while.

I opened the door, and she stood beside me, watching her father's sleeping body.

"See?" I looked down at her as her body stopped trembling, not bothering to lower my voice. "He's fine."

I watched her with interest as she stared at my father, trying to combat her mind's delusions that he was dead, that it was possibly another man underneath those covers. And before I could let her mind fight back, I interrupted her train of thought.

"You want to watch cartoons?" I nudged her slightly and she nodded, inviting my arm wrapping around her shoulder to guide her back to my room.

She found her way to my bed, and I went to the bottom shelf of my bookcase, looking around at the VHS cartoon series I had.

"What do you want to watch?" My fingers trailed over the multiple box sets available.

"The one with the dog and the detectives."

"I'm not going to translate it for you," I was fluent in English, she wasn't. Even with all the American songs floating around in the house, she still struggled. "It's not fun to sit there and translate every other sentence."

"I can do it," she sniffled, unclogging the unholy amount of snot that accumulated in her nostrils, and I played the VHS on my TV.

We watched the VHS set for a while, hours passed as multiple "zoinks" and "jinkies" sounded about, with noticeable cartoon sound effects that lightened her mood with each note.

And around noon, I heard my father's footsteps roaming throughout the house, as did Satomi. She jumped up from the bed and ran out into the hallway, following my father's footsteps, eager for some attention from her beloved daddy.

"Dad," she called out to him, and as she descended the steps, and I followed, knowing exactly how this script went.

It happened every time their schedules met at home, and she still hadn't learned after the past year, or at least she didn't want to acknowledge it.

"Yes, sweetheart," his tone was dry as he walked faster into the kitchen, finding his briefcase on the dinner table.

"Where are you going?" That wasn't what she originally wanted to say, but she couldn't help but notice him getting ready to leave.

He ignored her as he situated his paperwork. His hair slicked back, brushed neatly over his head, gelled to stay flat. I'd never seen a more professional man in my life, crisp suit, clean shave, even his eyebrows were cleaned up.

"Dad," My voice carried from the hallway into the kitchen. "Where are you going?"

"I have to meet some connections in Hokkaido," he replied as he picked up his cell phone. "And then check up on the operations, productions"— he waved his hand around in the air mindlessly—"sales."

"You just got home this morning," I stepped up behind my baby sister, validating her feelings.

A car horn blared from out front, and my father made his way to the door. She followed behind him like a lost puppy, desperate for him to stay and spend time with her.

"Goodbye," She was desperate as he closed the door, wanting him to at least return the gesture.

But her only response was a closed-door.

And I stood behind her in the hallway, watching her stand in front of the door, knowing she was hoping he'd come back inside for her.

"Come on," I wrapped my arm around her, resting my hand on her collar-bone, wondering when she'd learn. "The next episode's villain is a clown."

* * *

_And his father never tucked him in bed at night._

_And his father got mad when he cried for him to do it._

* * *

My puckered lips whistled along to the song, my body slightly swaying to Joy Division as I dragged the amaranth colored nail polish over my nails, matching the pedicure I had given myself a while ago. The TV in my room was on mute, I'd found an old cartoon to watch, taking my attention every so often from my nails, but the music held my interest more often.

In all honesty, I wanted to dance the way Satoshi had showed me, ripping off Claire and Bender's dance moves from _The Breakfast Club, _but my nails were my priority now. Maybe later. I chewed some ice, using my tongue to pull the little cube out of the little crevice of my mouth and my now numb cheek, being careful of my movements on my bed. I situated the cup of melted ice on my bed against the wall and I'd be pissed if I made a sudden movement and it spilled everywhere.

_When routine bites hard,_

_And ambitions are low._

_And resentment rides high,_

_But emotions won't grow._

_And we're changing our ways,_

_Taking different roads._

I used the side of my hand to flip the page in the magazine and looked at celebrities hairstyles and make-up, enjoying the new ideas that popped into my head.

It had been a few hours since Botan had dropped me off. I hadn't watched over Sensui and I didn't go meet Genkai. I blocked off all auras, all voices. I came home and tried convincing myself I could step up to the challenge, but then fear kicked in.

Denial took over quickly, setting a new record.

Now, I riddled my bed with countless bottles of nail polish, all of my make-up (lipstick, blush and eye shadow pallets, liquid eyeliner and pencils, mascaras, and dozens of brushes) had been dumped as well, sprawled all over the bed. Assorted, folded outfits on the floor near the closet, piled in order of favorite to "might wear one day, might just throw out." My mind began to completely deny the existence of the tunnel, out of fear of messing up, being the reason the human world was invaded.

Hime lay on the bed, on top of a few bottles of nail polish, and occasionally he'd look up at me after he rolled around, meowing for attention.

"Why aren't you at Genkai's?" He looked up at me. His tongue licked his nose, and he yawned, "Where's your courage? Why aren't you going to stop that tunnel?"

I threw my hands in the air, cackling as I gripped the nail polish brush, "What tunnel?"

I figured that I should be more concerned about talking to my cat (who wasn't actually talking) than worrying about a tunnel.

The pattering of rain was still audible despite the volume of the music, possibly from the open window that allowed the harsh storm's music to mix with mine. I always left it open for him, and I chastised myself as I went back to painting my nails, blowing on them when I finished. I still didn't close the window, though. I was pathetic enough to leave it open.

I closed the amaranth polish and grabbed the finishing polish for my French tip.

I looked out the window in a slight daze as the rain pushed harder, bouncing off the ground and trees, and turned my attention back to my nails. I continued painting, carefully dragging the finish along my nails for another fifteen minutes. I watched as the wind pushed water into my room, and I waited patiently for my nails to dry.

My attention turned to the dark clouds outside, hoping for thunder or lightning, but there was nothing but the violent pattering of rain. I got on my knees, leaning out of the window to smell the fresh rain, not minding the icy weather one bit as I continued to hope for lightning and thunder. I loved this weather so long as I wasn't stuck outside in it.

After minutes, being let down, I adjusted my purple pajama pants and sat back on the bed; a slightly foul odor graced my nose. I pinched my shirt and brought it up to my nose to smell.

Ew, did this not go through the washer before I put it on?

I rolled off the bed and began changing my shirt. I turned off the stereo as the track changed, and found a low-back-cut shirt to put on. I pulled the shirt over my head and heard another track come on. I hadn't turned it off, I pressed the wrong button.

Oops.

_You better love lovin' and you better behave._

I waited throughout the song for a while, enjoying it before I turned around to turn off the stereo… but a figure in my peripheral vision caught my attention.

Hiei.

I turned to see him, hoping he hadn't seen me changing.

But he smirked, and I was unsure if that was because he wanted to toy with me… or if he'd actually seen me change. One embarrassment after another with him…

I walked over to my bed and grabbed my pillow, trying to hit him. But he disappeared instantly, before the pillow even came close to him, and reappeared in the middle of my room. He was sopping wet, dripping water on my carpet as he stood near my desk.

He walked out of my room and into the living room, and I crawled on my bed, plopping on it in defeat, hiding my face in my pillow. I was too embarrassed to go tear him a new asshole for that rude comment he made a few days ago. Then, I felt ice slide on the bed sheets, touching my arm.

I wanted nothing more than to stop existing.

A few minutes had passed before I heard his voice, "What's that disgusting mark on your back?"

"Tattoo," I mumbled, I peeked up from the pillow slightly, moving it away from my eyes. I kept the lower half of my face hidden as I looked up at him, finding him holding my cat shirt. "Why do you have that?"

He looked down at it; it was probably the reason he came back in the room in the first place, "What is this ugly shirt? You were wearing it the other day."

"It was a gift," My words became muffled as I hid my face again.

"You look different," he mentioned.

I peeked up from the pillow, curious, "What do you mean?"

"You aren't wearing your raccoon make-up."

"It's _eye_ make-up," I retorted, unknowingly slipping in some attitude because of his childish insult. "Besides, you've seen me without it on before. This shouldn't be new."

He smirked, and I knew I set myself up for this, "I haven't seen you without it on before, _busu_."

The little shit just called me ugly!

"Prick!" I chucked my pillow at his head.

He moved around the pillow's path easily and I quickly rolled off the bed, watching as he ignored me and walked into the bathroom. Seconds later, he came out with his cloak off. His black, sleeveless shirt was visible, along with the bandages on his arms that I'd seen at the tournament.

Woah, wait a second. His clothing slowly processed in my mind, and I went into the bathroom, finding his cloak above the little heater in the corner of the bathroom.

Oh, _no,_ he wasn't.

I grabbed his soaked cloak and followed him out into the living room, where he stood in front of the coffee table.

"Slow your roll there, short-stop," I threw him the cloak. Narrowed, crimson eyes burned into my skull as he caught the cloak, water dripped out and onto the carpet. "You want to disrespect me in front of everyone but come here when you want shelter?"

Not returning my little crush was fine, honestly. But disrespecting me? Not flying.

My phone buzzed, taking my anger away for a second. He waited for me to answer it; he probably had no argument because that was exactly why he was here: shelter. I saw his eyes drift over to the coffee table that held the book I rented, and I looked at the caller ID: "Shizuru."

I answered it, staring Hiei down, but as usual, he wasn't fazed.

"Can you come in tomorrow?" Shizuru asked. "Until about two."

"Sure," Hiei and I held a silent staring match, though we were probably thinking about two different things.

I was preoccupied with finding a way to make him apologize (ha, fat chance of that happening).

What he was thinking about though, was always a mystery for me.

"And, uh, hey," Her tone was a bit unnerving, she didn't sound as aloof as usual. Her emotions trickled into me from over the phone, and I became nervous. "Have you seen Kazuma?"

"No, but I can do a quick search for him."

"Would you mind? He went to some Megallica concert."

"Megallica?" I had heard that name somewhere before, maybe Satoshi? Not sure. I closed my eyes and sifted throughout the city for Kuwabara's aura. "Not at all."

It was fairly easy though my head still hurt from this morning's babysitting with Sensui.

After a few seconds, I found Kuwabara with people I didn't know. He was walking around the town with a few boys his age, probably on his way home, not at a concert. But he seemed cheerful, he wasn't in harms way as she thought he was.

I immediately disconnected my search, "He's with friends, looks like he's on his way home. Why? Is something wrong?"

"No, just a gut feeling," she said. "Thanks, Satomi, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Also, bring cash tomorrow. I've got your supplies."

"Alright, no problem," I said quietly as she hung up, and Hime's waddling body caught my attention.

I watched as he stood next to Hiei, purring up at the prick for attention.

"Don't talk to him, Hime," I talked childishly as I squatted next to the kitten, puffing my cheeks out. "We don't talk to mean people."

Hime whined in response, swaying his tail as he rubbed up against Hiei's leg.

Traitor, I thought as I glared at Hime. Irritated at Hime, Hiei moved away from the little munchkin as my phone buzzed again.

I looked at the caller ID, finding my mother's name in bright letters.

Oh, here we go. I took a deep breath before answering the phone.

"So I put in a word down at the old hospital and Takashi is willing to give me my old position," My mother was excited, making up for my lack thereof.

"When do you start?"

"Next month," she said. "That means I can get everything moved in by next week."

Surprised at how quickly she really thought she could move here, my hand flew to my forehead as I looked up to Hiei for some validation, "And how can you do that?"

Of course, he didn't care about my family issues, he merely stayed quiet, not wanting to arouse suspicion from my mother by letting her hear a strangers voice.

"Well I won't bring much at first," she said. "Just my stuff and some of your fathers..."

We both became quiet, and I made my way into the kitchen. I leaned my back against the counter and grabbed some of my hair.

"Anything of Satoshi's you're bringing?" I mindlessly twirled the lock of hair around between my fingers.

I wanted to know if she took the paper, despite having convinced myself it was in my room.

"Just the only thing I've kept..."

His unopened acceptance letter from Berkeley. We never opened it, he died before it arrived. My parents never opened it because they didn't want to know what future their son could have had, but they couldn't bear to throw it away either. I was positive Berkeley accepted him, that's why my parents couldn't bear to open it.

I took her word; her reply only further convinced me it was just in my room somewhere.

"How'd the call to Grandpa James go?" I asked.

"Exactly how I expected it to," her laugh was forced, I could hear her voice become shaky as she continued. "Even on his death-bed, he's still got this strong hatred. He wants your father's funeral on American soil."

She coughed a bit, and deepened her voice, drawling out her words as she imitated what I suspected was my grandfather, "You despicable Japanazi whore! He'll be buried on American soil where he belongs. I'll be damned if you think about burying him on your filthy land."

"Such a charming old man," I mumbled, and an uncomfortable silence ensued. My urge to hang up grew. "Well... let me know where you're going to stay."

"I will, I've found a little place near Shiori's for rent," she said. "Maybe one day I could convince the owners to let me buy it."

"That'd be nice."

"When I arrive I want you to help me unpack."

"I can't, I have work," I didn't know when she'd arrive, but I'd make sure I would have work. Or something else to do.

"I don't care," she sang her words with the same foreign authority, as if she was talking to Satoshi. "You'll be unpacking with me."

"Why," I snapped at her and then tried to compose myself, I didn't need an emotional argument with her now.

"Because I said so."

Good one, mother, you should be a lawyer.

"I'll hang up now," She could feel the tension between us and decided it was best to leave me alone. "I'll talk to you soon."

I stayed silent and waited for her to hang up, and as the dial tone sounded I set my phone down and pulled my hair over my shoulder. Twisting and lacing my fingers throughout, creating a fish tail braid, I pushed my mother from my mind and focused on what to do with Hiei. The braid was lazy, misshapen, strands fell out everywhere, but after the five minutes it took to do my hair, I had decided against throwing his ass back out in the rain.

I had a better idea.

"Apologize," I knew he wouldn't say sorry.

That word didn't exist to him, and his scoff (Was that a laugh? Could he even muster anything other than a sarcastic scoff?) as a reply only reinforced my observation. I took a deep breath before facing him, I had to get over the rejection and move on. But the issue of disrespect wasn't going to budge, and I would have him make up for it somehow.

I turned to face him and leaned on the counter with my elbows, "If you don't, I get to choose how you say sorry."

"Choose," he taunted, putting his hands in his pockets. I knew the rest of that sentence, though unspoken, was, "Doesn't mean I'll do it."

Oh, I knew the perfect thing.

I walked into my room and grabbed a box set of cartoons as I turned off the stereo. I knew he didn't like cartoons since when I'd turn them on, he'd leave or make a rude remark.

I pondered on if that cartoon would be annoying as I picked up the fallen glass on my sheets. There was a large, darkened splotch on the duvet, my bed was soaked. But I was too lazy to do anything about it.

Maybe I should find a cartoon that would really grind his gears, I thought as I set the glass on my desk, ignoring the wet mark.

I looked down at the VHS box set… no, this show annoyed him quite a bit.

I dragged a spare bed sheet out into the living room with me as I wagged the box set in the air. His scowl was almost amusing enough to make me forget about having him watch the show, but I couldn't stop now.

The Japanese dub and was poorly done in choice of voice actors, but the humor was the same as when I would watch it in English with my father. I turned around as I stood up to see how irritated he was with this whole concept, but he sat down on the couch regardless. Either he wanted to apologize or he really didn't want to be outside in the pouring rain.

I saw his eyes flicker to the sliding glass door, debating. And he started with a grudging tone, "I'd rather..."

But he knew he couldn't say sorry, and he knew he didn't want to go back outside.

I was almost positive he didn't know how to pronounce the word either, that's how far away 'sorry' was from his vocabulary.

"Give me your cloak," I threw the blanket on the couch next to him. "It's sopping wet. I don't want you to ruin my couch..."

He handed me his cloak, and I went to the bathroom and rung the water from it over the sink, chiding myself because I _should_ throw his ass out in the rain for his shit attitude and disrespect. It wasn't too late. But as the scene in the strange house played back in my head, I realized why it turned from banter to straight disrespect: because I was arrogant enough to think that he would help us, just because of me.

I hung the cloak above the little heater, and his words at the tournament rang clear in my head, when I had seen Kurama in his original form.

"Tainted," he'd said.

Using that word about humans, as if we were lower than him.

All this time, I had to be nothing more than someone who provided shelter for him. I was arrogant enough to think I was something more.

I looked out of the bathroom, towards him. Okay, so I needed to be called out on my arrogance... but it didn't need to be in front of everyone.

I made my way to the kitchen and picked out the ice cream that was unfinished, and sat down on the other end of the couch, away from him. I threw the towel over to him.

"You're going to pretend I never saw?" I hated that toying, sly tone of voice as he caught the towel.

It made me want to squish his face inwards, permanently shutting his trap.

He draped the towel around his neck to soak up the water from his hair. He enjoyed holding that over my head, just like I knew he'd hold my conversation with Kurama over my head just to see me squirm in embarrassment.

"Saw_ what_?" I glared at him as I dug into the ice cream, but my glare meant nothing when my face was fire-brick red.

After shoving a large spoonful in my mouth, I set the ice cream between us and pulled my legs up on the couch. His sly smile disappeared as he turned to the TV screen.

"Did you like the ice cream?" I changed the subject, not wanting to hear his taunts. "When you tried it a few days ago."

"No," Mr. Blunt was back and I knew tonight was going to be fairly interesting.

If we both stayed off the previous embarrassing moments, we could possibly be fine.

I heard the opening credits end, and turned my attention to the TV, disappointed that I'd missed my favorite part of each episode.

"Close the window, idiot," He saw the bed sheet I was wrapping around myself.

"Are you going to learn how to use the front door instead of my window?" I finished before he could speak, forcing a smile that was too cheerful. "No, you're not, so shut up."

But before before he could reply, there was a shift in the atmosphere, catching my attention. My eyes drifted towards the sliding glass door as I tuned out whatever snippy response flew out of his mouth, processing the shift. I stood up to quickly make my way to the balcony.

Kuwabara.

But it wasn't the same shift I felt with Genkai, it wasn't death; it was different, slightly profound. I peered out the curtains and unlocked the door, shedding the blanket in the living room as I stepped outside into the pouring rain. As if that would give me a better feel of the atmosphere.

My joints tensed from the cold as I stared out at the city's skyline in the distance, and it never occurred to me to check on Kuwabara. I merely stood in the icy rain, and took in the slightly different aura, becoming soaked.

"I told him, his energy wasn't gone," I spoke up, letting my voice carry into the living room.


	28. Young Folks

I watched her form, silhouetted by the glow of the tunnel in front of her. She was unable to close it; none of us stood a chance.

The spear in her hand, make shifted from a sturdy branch, sharpened rock, and woven together by thick vines, was held at her side. Movement entered our land through the barrier we'd created. A grotesque, sharp clawed hand broke through, and the spear flew in front of her, on guard.

I stepped beside her, aware of what would happen if our group couldn't close this tunnel.

Eyes like forest leaves flickered up at me, "Fall back."

"You cannot handle them all alone."

"Do not question me."

A thick skinned, horned creature poured through the tunnel, emerging from the pool of light. She stepped forward, cutting me off on purpose as she stepped over other creature's lifeless bodies. Swift movements as she stepped over bodies, degrading a few as she used them as stepping stones. Quickly, she struck the spear's head deep into the crossing creature's skull before he could fully step foot into our land, only his torso hung out from the pool of light.

"Dek," she pressed the spear in deeper, moving it around slightly.

Crunching sounds were audible over the jeers of the other trapped creatures. She retrieved her spear and turned towards me as blood spurt from the creature's punctured head, letting his weight drag him out of the tunnel and collapse in a heap on the dirt.

Matted, curly hair stuck to her from bloodshed of our recent battle, covering her otherwise bare chest, "We cannot even keep the barrier up."

"Then what will we do?" The rest of our warriors stepped up behind me, already knowing the answer I dreaded.

She threw the spear to the ground, not answering my trivial question, my stall for time. The head dug into the dirt ground only a ways from my feet, shaking the staff on impact, and we paid more interest to the spear than her, for fear of her answer.

"If you will not complete the ritual, someone else will."

Eyes shifted about our small group, concerned. She had convinced us we were capable of this, but it was our first call to action, our first time. We only hoped it wouldn't be a waste.

"Decide!" Her roar caught us by surprise, forcing our youngest member, Bran, back near the bushes.

I stepped forward, towards my mate, and dug the spear out from the ground. I could only hope this worked. This tunnel to the underworld would ruin our land and eradicate mankind if we failed. A natural tunnel, reaching higher than the mountains that surrounded our village… We could only hold back the lowly.

We were able to keep the barrier up in front of the tunnel, trapping the creatures inside, but soon the true beasts would arrive, and we wouldn't be able to fend for ourselves.

* * *

I couldn't stop laughing; sharp inhales broke off the loud, choppy laughter that echoed in my living room. I had always loved this show, and I had no problem showing it, even with sourpuss next to me. I looked over to Hiei, who wasn't amused in the slightest, and our eyes met. He was clearly annoyed that I had been laughing for as long as I had been, only burdening the fact that he was stuck watching my favorite show.

Choppy, sharp inhales, borderline wheezing, stopped my laughter for a second as I held onto my sides. They were burning from the pain of laughing for so long.

"Humans have a pathetic sense of humor," he said about five minutes later, after I calmed down a bit. "This is nothing but mind-rotting garbage."

"Oh, sure it is," I tried to steady my breathing as I remembered what I was laughing at. I slapped my hands over my face since it had turned red from lack of oxygen, and I spoke through my hands, "I saw your stupid smirk before. You found something funny."

I explained myself quickly, removing my hands from my face, as he looked over to me, "You don't laugh but you do some weird smirk when you're amused. I saw it, like, ten minutes ago."

"Maybe you should keep your eyes off me and on the screen," Oh, hell, I set myself up for this. The very grin I was talking about emerged, "Or is that too much of a challenge for you?"

I dug into the carton again, facing away from him to hide my flushed face, "Shut up and eat this, I'm tired of hearing you talk."

That was the first time in a half hour he'd spoken, but that wasn't what I wanted to talk about.

He didn't eat any, and I continued to watch the show. I honestly thought he wasn't paying attention. But every so often his face would shift slightly, either in amusement or annoyance at the show. It surprised me there were little things in the show, albeit rare, that could actually amuse him; I never took him for the type to like this humor, despite it sometimes being mature.

Even with my rejection and his bad attitude looming in the air around us, I still liked him. Him being here next to me wasn't helping me move on from this obnoxious little crush.

I tried focusing on the show, but my attention kept turning to him, it honestly was a challenge. I wanted to see if he honestly liked the show. Of course he didn't, he didn't like anything. But he was watching it without complaining, and sometimes I'd see a reaction from him.

I looked down at his arms, the bandaging that covered his forearm, the definition of his muscles. And then I'd see his face, and my curiosity drifted to his headband that he never seemed to take off.

I turned back to the TV, watching the antics and drama, and my attention was held for a while. I was entertained by the comedy. But my eyes drifted over to him again, back to the headband he wore. Curious, I moved the empty carton of ice cream onto the coffee table and moved a bit closer to him. My lower back hurt, the muscles felt stiff as I leaned over towards him.

"Can I ask something?" I straightened my back as I leaned over. "You can't get mad at me for asking..."

He looked over at me, waiting for the question. His silence gave me no promises that he wouldn't snap at me.

"Can I see it?" I tapped on the center of my forehead, above the bridge of my nose.

He stayed silent for a second, eyeing me curiously with a strange expression, and then sighed. He reached up behind his head, the towel moving slightly with his movement, and untied the headband to reveal the third eye.

A sly smirk appeared, "Look straight into it."

Obviously he wasn't to be trusted, but curiosity took hold of me since I knew that though he may not like me, he wouldn't go out of his way to harm me. I stared at his crimson eyes, seeing the third indirectly as a headache formed. It spiked in the center of my forehead, and though it was bearable, I clutched my head.

Becoming dramatic, deserving an Oscar, I rolled off the couch, feigning pain and whimpers. My body bounced a bit on the carpet as I landed next to the coffee table, and I glanced up to him as my headache subsided, finding the headband back in place. He looked down at me as he tied it back, watching me roll over to lay on my back.

"Just kidding," I stuck out my tongue.

I mean, I _had _picked up some of Satoshi's usually playful nature.

His nostrils flared, a scowl emerged, and I laughed as I maneuvered my legs up on the couch, still lying on the ground.

"Every demon like you has that?" Aside from now, I had only seen it briefly, from far away, during the match at the Tournament.

I had never looked into it before, and I probably wouldn't bother ever again after that headache, especially if I'd only seen it from my peripheral vision.

He seemed a bit taken back by my previous actions as he answered, taking a few seconds to actually say anything, "It was surgically implanted. You don't seem bothered by it."

"I saw some sort of _dragon _come out of your hand, a third eye isn't going to bother me," My sides burned again as I laughed, pulling myself back onto the couch.

Honestly, now that I remembered, the dragon I'd seen at the tournament still had me stumped; I could only wonder what else this boy had up his sleeves.

I got up slightly on my knees as I perched on the couch, leaning towards him to gently trace the bandana where the eye would be underneath, "Why did you want it?"

"To help me search for something."

Vague answers weren't happening tonight. Nope, I'd pry it out of him.

I leaned back and wedged myself into the corner between the back cushions and the arm rest, where I was before, "What were you looking for?"

His debating stare reminded me of the drastic contrast in colors between his eyes and his Jagan. My eyes traced the outline of his facial structure as I waited for an answer, hoping to be able to read him.

"You know what Yukina is," he spoke up a few minutes after crossing his arms, as if he was defensive about this topic.

I nodded, "An ice apparition… demon…"

I didn't know the right word, was there a difference? I hadn't been paying much attention to the lingo, I merely took everything as it came.

"But you're not…?" I assumed he wasn't when I saw him controlling the dragon; it seemed to be made of fire.

It did seem odd to me now, thinking about it. Their abilities differed greatly.

"They always birth females, on their own, every hundred years."

Welp, there went all of my biology lessons.

I adjusted myself slightly, into a better position to soothe my still burning sides.

"She had given birth to twins," I noticed the distancing language which he referred to his mother, the same way I did to mine. "The old hag's of that place banished me."

"Because you were a boy?" He nodded, crossing his leg casually, setting his feet on the coffee table.

"They stay removed from the rest of the world in order to keep their race in seclusion," his eyes drifted to the screen for a moment, hearing a character's cry of laughter. "Women who bore children from men of other races often bore males who always grew up to be violent."

"So you're not looking for them for a happy family reunion," My mumble brought his eyes back to me, providing a silent, answering stare. "What about the item?"

"When they give birth, they shed a tear," I remembered Yukina and her tears, and having thrown them out of the window in that prison. "They turn the tear into a necklace for their child."

I looked at him curiously, wondering why he'd want the necklace if he hated them so much. His eyes took on a different look, somewhat hostile, but his jaw wasn't clenched. A strange mixture of emotions that made me only wish I could delve into his head the way he could mine.

I felt a bit bad for prying into his personal business, but he answered willingly. If he didn't want to answer, he would have shrugged me off or ignored me.

"Did you ever find either of those things?" I didn't think he had, since he'd been here for a while.

"I wouldn't be here if I had, now would I?"

Oh, look at me, I'm Hiei and I'm a douchebag.

My face burned again as our staring match continued. Heated and flushed, I willingly gave up and turned away to see the TV. A few minutes passed by, and instead of grudging about his shit attitude, I only felt bad for bringing all of that up.

I was used to his obnoxiously sharp tongue, but I wasn't used to knowing things about him. I wasn't used to him being open.

I felt the need to return his gesture of trust, and I thought of how I could do so as Hime made his way onto my thighs.

I thought of something I had worked so hard to repress.

But I chickened out and spoke of something else, "There's a reason why there's such a huge age gap between me and Satoshi. Age gaps aren't uncommon but…"

His eyes opened, as if they were closed to drown out the TV show.

"I was an accident. Well, not the same situation as you obviously. But I wasn't planned."

I waved my hand around mindlessly, still in denial, "I found out when I was maybe six. Satoshi called me 'Broken Condom' for about a month before my mother caught wind of it."

He had already been prying, and was interested at the stream of images and words that had already passed through my head. He turned his body towards me, leaning his back against the arm rest as he put his legs on the couch. I moved my legs aside to give him room.

"Surprising. You can be in denial about anything but what your head tells you," I ignored his taunt for me to tell the truth and merely continued rambling.

"You know, one time he insisted that if you slurred Shuichi's name hard enough, it'd sound like Luigi," A laugh caught in my throat as I turned away from him, "He called him 'Luigi' for about a year."

A few seconds passed, and I debated on whether or not I should even acknowledge it as I chewed at the inside of my bottom lip. Saying something you'd denied for so long was a way of actually acknowledging, admitting, it was your fault. I had worked so hard to deny it.

But he stared, a silent press for me to say it.

Battle it head on.

"I think I could've stopped Satoshi from killing himself," The words poured out of my mouth without much thought, a secret that was dying to be shared.

He seemed a bit surprised though, he didn't think I could have said it. But I said it. Out loud. I admitted it.

"I mean, I know it was already my fault because my parents were preoccupied with my episodes but—"

Our attention turned to the TV briefly, hearing a character's hoarse laugh, and I watched the episode with interest, anything to keep me from continuing. But his stare... the silent way of pushing me out of my comfort zone.

I turned back to him after a few seconds, meeting his eyes to assert some form of power, to take away the influence he had over me. But I gave in quickly, and looked down at the cushions and moved my legs a bit more, giving Hiei more room as I curled up in the corner. Hime fell between the crevice of my thighs and stomach, digging himself deeper to become comfortable.

Okay. Suck it up.

I shrugged, "My dad worked for this big, upcoming computer company, so we always got free products. That's how I got that computer, and then he eventually broke off and went into a subsidiary that made other electronics...

"Anyways, Satoshi would talk to this guy online, that he originally met over his schools international pen pal program. Satoshi got some sort of company email when given his computer, made another, and gave it to his friend so they could talk. Dad never noticed the second email."

Funny how wealthy people always received free products.

I waved my hand around, getting off track, "Anyways, the guy he talked to was in Berkeley."

I looked over to the TV again, watching the names in the ending credits roll by, "He took his tests for Berkeley, sent in his application, then offed himself a while later. I'm sure that guy had something to do with it. Satoshi was so secretive about him around our parents."

"His lover probably black mailed him."

I nodded, watching the next episode come on, "Maybe. I'm sure if I spoke up, Satoshi could've gotten help with whatever was wrong."

Move on.

Move on.

Move on, before you panic.

"Remember how I told you he would call Shuichi 'Luigi'? I personally liked 'Luigi' the most," I snorted a laugh, remembering the nickname that stuck the longest. "But he gave that one up and called him Shoe."

Hiei's blank stare revealed one of two things: it wasn't funny, or he didn't understand the joke.

I leaned down, scooting my butt towards the middle of the couch as I lifted my foot in front of his face. Childish behavior to push my crestfallen thoughts away.

I wiggled my toes, checking out my french pedicure with Hiei's face as the background, "_Shoe_, in English. What you put on your feet."

But the next movement caught me by surprise, sending me into a panic. He snatched my foot, and my incredulous look of fear caught his attention. He had originally planned to shove my foot out of the way but my expression gave him incentive to hold on.

"_Let go!_" My shrieks would only prompt the neighbors to call the authorities, but it was beyond my control. "Let go, let go, let go!"

Curious at my screams, he traced his thumb down the arch of my foot, sending my body erratic as Hime lept onto the floor for safety. All thoughts of my brother disappeared as I jerked around unwillingly, in fear, wanting to be released. But he kept his grip tight as I tried retrieving my foot, yanking it away from him. A strange, unwanted sensation sent up my feet to my ankles, transmitting to my brain, sending my nerves haywire.

"Let go!" My demand was muffled in laughter as I kicked my free foot at his face, missing him by an inch.

But I continued my attacks regardless, staying hopeful.

A tingling sensation in the bottom of my sensitive foot, it was painful and strange, a fleeting sensation of my nerves. I continued to kick as my body wriggled on its own to be released from his grip. I aimed for his face, but each time he moved swiftly, avoiding my trudging attacks.

"Let go, Hiei!" Even just his hold on my foot was sensitive.

Carpet, woods, rocks, gravel, anything was fine on my sole. But skin, someone else's touch? A touch out of my control… It sent me haywire. It was my weakness: not my hips, not my waist, not my underarms—my soles.

My face flushed, sharp inhales tried to mask the painful laughter and awkward jerking motions to be released. To my horror, he caught my other foot as I almost planted my sole on his face. His grin grew sly, wide, as he became to enjoy this situation more than my favorite show.

I never hated anyone more in my life than I did at this moment.

He ran his thumb down both arches at once, sending me screaming, rolling off the couch in a fit of painful laughter. His hands were rough and calloused, only making the horrid sensation worse. I continued kicking as I lay defenseless, face down on the ground.

"I hate you!" Tears drowned my vision, but he kept his thumbs gently pressed against my soles as I continued flailing and laughing.

Finally, his grip on my feet loosened, and I became swift as a coursing river as I crawled away from the couch. More than a yard away, in the middle of the living room, I sat on my feet protectively.

"Kill yourself," Hot tears of anger and embarrassment warmed my cheeks as I steadied my breathing.

Satoshi was the only other person who ever tickled me, and I hated it then as well. Kurama had the decency to keep his hands off me when I told him to, he'd never touched my feet and he never would. I hated having others do pedicures for me, which was why I did them myself. Even if he had just held my foot, barely touched my sole, it was horrible.

My soles were jittery, violated, and I pressed them against my bottom from my traditional sitting position, trying to subdue the panic I'd just endured.

But the door bell struck my nerves, and I groaned, realizing how loud my laughter and screams were. It couldn't have been the police, though, that was much too fast.

I stood up, the carpet felt strange underneath my feet as I inched towards the door, raw and naked. But my attention focused on the unknown aura behind the door, and I peaked through the peephole, finding an older woman outside, draped in blankets.

I opened the door slightly, only peaking out past the door, keeping my body shielded from the howling wind outside.

"I'm your neighbor," the old woman's voice was frail and hoarse as she shivered in the cold. "I came to see what was the matter, your screams were really loud. Are you alright?"

Mental note: do not trust this old lady to ever call the cops in a real emergency, she'll just come check out the situation on her own.

I opened the door wider, showing her the empty living room in the distance, "Yeah, everything's fine."

Well, I presumed the living room to be empty, "I've never seen this boy around here before."

What?

I whipped around, finding Hiei firmly planted in the couch, having not budged. I expected him to leave when others came around like he always did.

"Oh, yeah," My laugh was forced, nervous, as I turned back to the old lady. "Just a friend."

"I've never seen this boy around here before," her eyes narrowed at the sight of him, and I could only trust Hiei to behave.

Okay, Mrs. Kravitz, don't you have more windows to peak through?

"Thanks for your concern," I began closing the door but her whispering took hold of me.

"Blink once if you're in trouble," Her whisper was hoarse, as if a truck load of phlegm was lodged in her throat.

But in reality, if I was honestly in trouble with Hiei, it wouldn't have mattered. He would have heard the old woman and the two of us could have been killed.

"I'm fine," I forced my eyes wide as I smiled, hoping I wouldn't accidentally blink and have her call the cops.

"Kids these days," Her mutters wandered with her down the hall as she left. "Up in the dead of night with boys. Shame."

"This isn't the 1950's, Grandma," I leaned out the doorway, holding onto the wall as I yelled out to her.

Harsh wind and the patter of rain forced me to speak up, yell a bit louder. But I quickly backtracked my steps as she turned around to see me, and I shut the door before I could hear her chiding. I ran into the kitchen and closed the blinds on the window above the sink, convinced the woman would honestly watch over me and take note of my actions.

That's the last thing I needed: someone watching over me with nosy, snaky intent.

I turned to face Hiei after I finished closing the blinds, "You seriously couldn't get up and hide?"

"The old hag won't do anything," His lazy ass was comfy in my couch, having allowed Hime to curl up next to him on the cushion.

I wish I was strong enough to roll him off it.

"She could tell my mother the next time she rolls in town," I coughed into a balled fist and forced my voice hoarse. "Your trampy daughter's inviting a boy over late at night."

"You'd love the implication of that sentence to be true."

Someone better hold me back before I wring this fool's neck.


	29. Genesis

**A/N: **i hope what i've got planned for the next chapter makes up for all these boring ones.

and that is all goodbye world

* * *

I draped the blanket over me when I returned to the couch, burying my feet into the crevice between the cushions as a protective measure. Digging into the bag of fruit snacks, we watched the show in silence. I assumed that he'd fallen asleep a half hour ago, and I wasn't in the mood to talk to him, so we sat in silence for a few episodes.

Luckily, a comfortable silence. I didn't feel the need to speak to him, and I knew he didn't feel the need to bother with me.

Maybe it was his presence I enjoyed most, his silent presence.

I turned, looking over to him, figuring he was asleep. I pulled my foot from the cushions and nudged it against his, but he still didn't budge. Maybe he was asleep, or maybe he wanted me to think he was asleep.

_You're a prick, _I thought in hopes of him prying. _And I'm taller than you._

He was asleep, because surely the last comment would have gotten a rise out of him, even if it would have only been a harsh glare.

I turned over again, convinced he was asleep, and curled my feet back into the cushions as I watched the show.

"The ending portion of the opening," I kept my voice low, taking advantage of being able to speak to him without having a sharp tongue cut into my conversation. But his eyes opened, drawing towards me. "It's always different each episode. The couch scene, it's always my favorite part. It's always something new."

Even though he was a prick, he had some nice aspects about him.

His eyes turned to see the ending scene of the opening song, watching with little interest.

He had _some_ nice aspects about him... he didn't have to save me in the stadium.

"By the way," I turned towards him, remembering the long, over-due thank you. "Thanks for finding me in the stadium."

"I was just passing through," God forbid you accept that you were nice to me, Hiei.

"Uh-huh," I rolled my eyes, digging through the bag for the orange gummies. "Of course, you were just strolling through the other half of the stadium while it was collapsing."

He glared at me as I dug out all the orange gummies in my line of sight, and shoved them in my mouth at once. I couldn't resist mocking him mentally, replacing his words with the obnoxious whining of a three year old.

"I should have slit your throat that night," He said.

"_Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah_," Rang through my mind, and I hoped he was prying to hear it.

"Would have saved me the trouble of finding you in the stadium," But still, again, I mocked him mentally, not taking his pathetic attempts at covering up his soft side.

"You wouldn't lay a hand on me," I almost choked on the fruit snacks as I laughed. I turned to the TV screen, finally happy about having the upper hand in a conversation. I covered my mouth as I continued, talking with my mouth full, "That's why I leaned in, and you pulled the sword away."

That was a lie, I leaned in because I was wanted him to kill me. The stress and realities of human nature that I was repressing had hit me hard that night, and I wanted nothing more than to rid myself of the world.

But I was right in my first accusation; he wouldn't really lay a hand on me, he was just trying to assert some form of power. That didn't work, though.

"Hn," I rolled my eyes, swallowing as I ignored his stupid trademark.

"Anyways," I drawled out my words, dragging attention back to the original reason I brought up the past. "I just wanted to thank you because I would have regretted staying in there, especially after finding out what my father did."

"You were foolish enough to walk down to your death," His head was so far up his ass, he couldn't even accept a thank-you for his nice deed. "I should have left you there."

"But you didn't," I teased him, almost singing the words as I held out the bag of fruit snacks, offering him some. "So thank you."

He stared down at it before turning away. I shrugged and kept the bag close to me, eating the rest of it on my own. But as the episodes passed and his patience for the show grew slimmer, I began to doze off with my hand in the bag.

* * *

In my parents room laid my brother and mother, watching one of her favorite shows.

"Satoshi, don't you dare jump off," I peeked into the room, watching my mother lay on her bed as Satoshi stood on her back, cracking the stiffness out of her body from her long shift.

It was the first time I'd seen her home in a few weeks, the first time we were all at home or awake to see each other. I could hear the cracks and sighs of relief as Satoshi wobbled on my mother's back, and he began to bend.

"Satoshi, don't you dare," My mother shot up, lifting her torso up with her arms, sending Satoshi toppling over onto the bed in laughter. "God, I can't ever trust you, you joke too much."

Satoshi crawled to the edge of the bed and lay next to my mother, watching the show. Mother wasn't home often, and when she was, Satoshi was lucky enough to spend time with her. They acted as best friends sometimes, more than mother and son.

"Isn't she cute?" My mother nodded to the actress on TV. "I want you to find a girl that's cute like her."

"Yeah, she's alright," My brother rolled onto his back, watching the show upside-down as he held his hands cupped in front of his chest. "I could do better."

My mother laughed and shoved his shoulder. I retreated into the hallway to use the bathroom and finish my nightly routine as a chorus of giggles erupted from the bedroom. To be honest, at the moment, I was jealous. I wanted my dad to come home so we could watch TV and eat junk food. But he'd been on a business trip for so long now…

I heard the mumbles of my brother and mother in the other room, and he said good night to her. Satoshi suffered as I did when it came to mother. He may have had time with her, but it was always cut short since she was always exhausted.

I spat out the foamy toothpaste into the sink, and shoved the toothbrush back into my mouth.

"Yoooooink," Satoshi grabbed my toothbrush out of my hand, slathering foam onto my cheek as he ripped it from my grip.

"Hey—" I inhaled sharply and choked on the small amount of toothpaste in my mouth as I reached up for my toothbrush.

I turned to the sink and coughed, trying to clear my throat, though the burning sensation in my nose from the toothpaste didn't help at all.

Satoshi laughed, choking soon ensued from how hard he'd inhaled. I stood up straight and turned towards him, and coughed my mucus-toothpaste foam onto his shirt.

"_Euck!"_ He took off his shirt and quickly wrapped it around my head.

I could feel the mucus and toothpaste smudging onto my face and I reached upwards, trying to grab his head.

"Get that off me!" I whined, blindly swiping at his face.

He evaded my attacks easily as he tightened the shirt around my head; it was getting harder to breathe. I began screaming, a high pitched whining that mixed in the air with Satoshi's laughter.

"I can't leave you two alone at all!" My mother's voice was low, threatening; she had just gotten off her thirteen hour shift at the hospital, and as usual, was cranky.

I assumed that she grabbed onto Satoshi's ear, yanking him away from me. The shirt's grip around my head loosened and I pulled it off me, wiping the mucus-toothpaste concoction off my face with a dry area of thread. My mother's hand found its way to my arm, and I let out a little yelp as I was dragged out to the hallway.

"Satoshi, for god's sake, you are fifteen and still picking on your little sister!" My mother yelled, dragging us to our rooms, each hand latched onto a body part to lead us with her.

"What else am I here for?" He sang as she shoved him into his room by his ear. "It's a fuuull. Tiiiime. Joooob!"

She slammed the door in his face, cutting off his opera, and continued her swift motion of dragging me down the hallway to my room.

"Go to sleep," She sighed as she shoved me in my room.

"It's seven!" I cried, slurring my words since I still felt some toothpaste in my mouth.

"Good night," She said, exasperated as she walked down the hallway.

"I need to rinse out my mouth!" I called down the hallway, but she ignored me as she walked into her room.

I waited about twenty minutes before quietly slipping out of my room and into the bathroom to finish my nightly routine. I washed my face off and began rinsing my mouth out with water when Satoshi came up behind me and grabbed my leg, yanking it upwards to run his finger down my sole, sending a ticklish feeling throughout my body, causing me to choke.

I instantly turned to him as he started laughing, and I coughed up the water onto his new shirt. He instantly whipped it off and wrapped it around my head. My high pitched screams mixed with his laughter again, and I tried swiping at his face.

"_Satoshi!_" My mother screeched from her room and he instantly let go of the shirt, removing it from my head.

The two of us ran to our rooms, slipping across the hardwood floor, laughing along the way. We ran into our rooms, collapsing with laughter as soon as we closed our doors.

* * *

I woke up the next morning on the couch, the bright sun leaked through the open slip in the curtains. My stomach gurgled in pain as I sat up, angry at me for eating all that crap last night. My eyes drifted to the clock as I sighed and got up, feeling the absence of Hiei's presence.

Of course it was only shelter. Ah, well.

I rolled off the couch to get ready for my day. I'd do my hair into a rope braid chignon, I nodded, remembering the hairstyle from a magazine I'd been looking at.

My fingers laced a portion of my hair into a braid as I thought about my make-up—eyeliner, eye-shadow, mascara, maybe that colored pencil eyeliner I had would be nice. After multiple attempts at creating the chignon perfectly, I took time in dabbling with my make-up, winging my eyeliner, forgetting about the extra color.

The amount of times I screwed up and had uneven wings almost brought me to a broken mirror and a bloody hand, but I soon succeeded, and made my way into my room for what would have seemed like a fashion shoot to the unknowing eye. But after I applied cream to the letters on my back, in an awkward and uncomfortable position, I realized quickly I was running out of time, and today wasn't going to be as much of a fashion show as I wanted.

I zipped up the dark jeans as I waddled into the kitchen, with a pink, almost amaranth colored blouse in my free hand, to fix Hime's food. The stubby kitten heard his food rattling into his bowl and darted into the kitchen as I slipped on the blouse and grabbed a blazer.

I checked the time, realizing if I couldn't decide on what shoes to wear, I'd be late.

But the struggle was real.

Those black heeled pumps I was given at the tournament would look perfect. But the black ballerina flats... Gah!

I grabbed my purse and dug in the closet, pulling out the pumps from the duffle bag. I slipped them on as I made sure Hime was eating, and quickly left, locking the door behind me.

Speaking of eating, I kept_ forgetting_ to eat.

But still, I wasn't hungry. Maybe for lunch I'd force something in my stomach since I didn't exactly have time to eat something now.

I adjusted the blazer as I made my way to the salon and used my compact mirror to let me apply some lipstick that I'd found in the bottom of this purse. Passing by a small, open shop, I noticed the owner setting out boxes of produce. I eyed the fruit as I walked by, knowing I may not bother with eating lunch. Might as well force something in now.

I made eye contact with the owner as I picked up an apple, continuing to walk down the street. He stared at me, watching as I continued walking, biting into the fruit.

And he said nothing as I left the area around the shop, I didn't even have to shove emotions in his head.

I finished the apple as I approached the salon, finding Shizuru already inside. The moment I entered the salon, her voice called out to me from across the room as she held up a plastic bag.

"This has all of your supplies," Her unlit cigarette moved in her mouth, reminding me of the way Koenma's binky stayed intact while he talked. "Hair products you need to get on your own."

The bell over the door jingled, and Yuki walked inside, passing the two of us as she headed towards the back.

"I love your eye shadow," Yuki's way of greeting me: compliment me.

She always sounded a tad bit rude, snobby, as if she was being fake, but her thoughts were always sincere even though I secretly wished otherwise.

"Thanks," I handed Shizuru some cash, and promised to pull out the rest of the money for when I saw her next.

I paid Shizuru and, to my complete surprise, she gave me my first customer. My first, real customer. It was simple, she wanted length cut off and her hair lay flat in a straight line, but I was still anxious and scared. It was nerve-wracking, this woman wasn't a mannequin. But she constantly reassured me I'd be fine, every time I went in to cut her voice would constantly remind me how well I was doing.

I was lucky to have her as my first customer.

"Are you in high school?" She had light brown hair and a soft, pink lipsticked smile.

She seemed exhausted, especially around her eyes where small crows feet perched noticeably. And I could tell why: her daughter was a talker. This kid would not shut up. We tuned her out as the two of us made small talk, though that spiked my nerves. I felt I needed to have all my concentration on her hair not to mess it up, but I felt it'd be rude to ignore her.

"Yeah, I go to Meiou," Okay, so I liked to throw that around. Sue me.

"Oh, wow," She didn't say it as enthusiastically as it would have constituted for it to be sincere, but her thoughts were honest. "The new year is starting soon. What year will you be in?"

"My second year."

"Have you gotten your classes?"

"Yes, I should be going down to get the books but I keep procrastinating..." I shrugged.

The little girl sat in the empty chair next to us and asked, "What's procrastinating?"

"I'll tell you later," I smiled as I continued to cut the mother's hair, already under pressure with talking to the mother.

But the mother let out a huge snort, and leaned forward. I jumped back in surprise, almost cutting her hair in an awkward angle. My heart raced in fear as she began laughing loudly. And within seconds, when I became thankful for not having messed up her hair, the kid and I exchanged glances, wondering why she was laughing. And then it hit me.

Oh.

I stifled a laugh as the little girl pouted and crossed her arms in the chair, waiting for someone to explain what was so funny. But, to push the irony further, neither of us ever got around to it. A few minutes later, the mother stopped laughing and I began to cut her hair again. Every so often, she'd chuckle, shaking her body with laughter, and I'd have to stop and wait for her to calm down so I didn't mess up her hair.

About five minutes later, I finished her hair and she gave me a tip before greeting Yuki at the cash register. The girl continued to talk to her mother, she had no filter, and no understanding of waiting her turn as she interrupted her mother's conversation with Yuki, just as she had with mine. But it was easy to tune her out, and Yuki learned quickly.

"Can we have ice cream?" Whatever popped into her brain zoomed out of her mouth. She grabbed her mother's hand, her words flowing out like a healthful river whose dam had just broken loose, "I want mint because I don't like strawberry it's very gross and I don't like the chunks at all."

Holy shit, how can she put up with that?

"Satomi," Shizuru called me over to her booth, and I silently thanked life for giving me something else to focus on. There was an older woman in her chair with permed white hair, "You know how to dye hair, right?"

I shook my head and she raised a curious eyebrow at me, "But your hair..."

"It's natural."

My eyebrows were brown, another reason why many often thought I dyed my hair.

"Well, come learn," I stepped up behind her as she gestured me over. "Since her hair is permed, we have to do this a certain way."

Shizuru did the process and I took note, trying to memorize every step. But my anxiety returned when she asked me to complete the last few steps, but it was a bit relieving how she walked me through it.

When finished, Shizuru tapped my shoulder, gesturing me to follow her across the salon. Before standing in earshot of the register, she turned around, lowering her voice.

Her hands were placed casually on her hips, "Kazuma didn't come home last night."

Instinctively, I closed my eyes and searched for his aura. Within seconds, I found him surrounded by familiar presences, Yusuke and Kurama.

"I'm assuming he's at Yusuke's," I opened my eyes, looking up at her.

"Would you mind going to get him for me?" She sighed in relief. "I would leave but our other girl is out sick, so Yuki's taking up her customers. I would let you take some customers, but no offense, you're still learning."

"I don't mind," I looked at the clock.

It was noon; I wouldn't be back by two to end my shift.

"You did well today for your first customer," She patted my shoulder as she walked back to the old woman. "Thanks, Satomi."

I took off the little apron and set it on my booth. After cleaning up, sweeping and washing scissors and etc., I was out of the salon by 12:30. Before I exited, Yuki complimented my hair: her way of saying goodbye.

"How did you do it?" Her eyes gleamed, striking my heart with jealousy.

I hated looking at her because I always became insecure. I wished she was a bitch so I could have an understandable reason to hate her.

"It's a tedious process. It took a long time to get the braid to lay right."

"Please teach me sometime," She rested her head on her hand, leaning her elbow on the table she sat at.

"I will," And she waved me off instantly, smiling.

I wanted to say her smile was fake, but her thoughts... Damn, couldn't she just be a bitch so I could have a good reason to hate her?

Closing the salon door behind me, I began my quest, following Kuwabara's aura to what I believed was Yusuke's house, like a game of hot and cold since I didn't know where he lived. Looking at my reflection on the way as I passed by the store windows, I dwelled on the Yuki subject. She was gorgeous and I... ugh.

Her face was square, her cheek bones were defined. She had these beautifully curved eyes and a smooth, snub nose and full lips. Her face just _worked_ and compiled into one source of beauty. She had a noticeable hour glass figure with protruding hips and breasts, the body of a goddess.

I eyed myself in the reflection of the windows as I continued walking.

Heart shaped face; my cheeks were a bit plump above the apple of my cheeks, round eyes. Small lips that always had a pout and deterred people from wanting to talk to me since I always looked upset, and a nose that curved upwards slightly at the tip. My shape was an hour glass as well, but my breasts and hips were significantly smaller than hers.

Compared to Yuki, I was as flat as a wall and looked like a rat.

I had always thought of myself as attractive until I saw Yuki. Ugh, I really didn't have time for this low self-esteem crap.

No, forget that crippling self-esteem crap. I was hot and these shoes made my butt look _cute_. I should have Cyndi Lauper song playing in the background on my walk. That's how hot I was: deserving of my own background music.

I stopped looking at my reflection in the passing by windows and continued the walk to Yusuke's, feeling better about myself. Soon, about an hour later, I made it to an apartment complex. Standing in front of the door, I rang the doorbell, hoping that Kuwabara was inside. Well, I felt him inside one of the rooms, but I didn't know whose apartment this was, and I was nervous about finding a new face. I was pretty sure it was Yusuke's, though...

The door opened and Yusuke's figure leaned out from behind the white door, and I sighed in relief.

"Oh, hey," He seemed surprised I was here. "What's up?"

"I'm looking for Kuwabara," He stepped aside and allowed me inside. "Shizuru said he hadn't come home last night and she's worried about him."

He snorted as I walked inside, and began taking off my shoes. A quiet feeling of freedom from the heels took hold of me momentarily as Yusuke spoke up. If I would have known I'd be trekking west to the States to look for Kuwabara I would have chosen the flats.

"I found that dumbass passed out in front of my apartment with four guys on his back."

"What? What happened?" I looked up to him as he lead me down the hall. "Was it one of the seven?"

He nodded to me, but my attention turned to Kurama, who stepped forward from the living room, rounding the corner. I ran up to hug him but before I could wrap my arms around his torso, I felt a presence I had deliberately been avoiding. Instantly, turning around, tail tucked between my legs, I sprinted for the front door.

Fuck the shoes, I thought, my pedicure is good enough to show off barefoot anyways.

But my feet slipped off the ground as I felt a rush of heat and force, my body shook to the right and slammed into the wall, knocking my brain around inside my skull. My shoulder cracked again, and I fell to the ground, sliding down the wall. After a split second of being dazed, my vision refocused and my eyes darted around the room.

Genkai stood feet away from me, palm open and extended. She hadn't pushed me physically...

"The hell's goin' on, grandma?!" Yusuke was genuinely surprised at her actions, though I wasn't.

I knew I had this coming.

"Her training," Genkai's reply was casual as I tried getting up, limbs weak and limp. But she pushed spirit energy at me again, knocking me into the wall and back onto the ground. "The training she's been purposefully avoiding."


	30. The Spider and The Lamps

**A/N: **so i tried out an omniscient third person POV but hated it and was too lazy to go back and fix everything, so i left it as is. around 3/4 through it switches back to first person POV.

this is a long one so hold onto your panties, everyone. i didn't mean for it to come out so long, but oops.

* * *

**—Omniscient.**

"Get up, selfish little girl," Genkai's face tensed, annoyed at Satomi's actions. "You'll be able to call yourself a Gruid by the time I'm done."

Genkai extended her palm again, emitting another shot of energy at the blonde as she stood up, sending her back to the wall. Like hell she wanted to be called a Gruid—that was hideous.

Priestess was sounding more appealing.

Genkai held back her energy, because though she needed to teach the girl a lesson, she didn't want to kill her. Satomi, stupid enough, tried standing once more, moving slightly towards the door as if she could actually make it out.

Genkai waited until Satomi was nearly crouching before sending her into the wall once more.

"I won't stop until you deflect it," Genkai threatened as she extended her hand again. "Manipulate the energy."

"Stop!" Satomi screeched, moving her arms up to defend her face.

The energy closed in on her as she panicked to focus on the energy. Reading it as she did auras, she attempted to find out what Genkai wanted her to do. How could she deflect it? Staying planted on the ground, the energy hit her once more and shoved her against the wall.

Neither Yusuke nor Kurama helped her, though they both felt slightly inclined to come to her aid. Kurama knew Satomi had been put in a physically threatening situation a few times before, but Genkai had no malicious intent, and it was for her own improvement.

"Did you bother to understand what Gruids could do while you cowered at home?" The old woman had never had such a stronger distaste for human before—a human who had no evil intentions. "They were our gatekeepers. And you've wasted our time, setting back our hope to close the tunnel."

"I can't fucking close the tunnel!" Curled into a protective ball, Satomi's voice broke as Genkai extended her hand once more.

Driven by fear and anxiety, Satomi pushed herself mentally, zeroing in on Genkai's aura and energy. But each time the spirit energy rammed into her, she felt breathless, terrified. Anxiety began to spike with irregular breathing, fear took over, instincts arose.

"Channel it," Genkai demanded. "You descended from a group of psychic humans who learned to manipulate energy to their will. If the bloodline's lasted that long you can move this puny bit of energy around."

Spirit energy extended towards her again, and Satomi pushed her hands out in front of her, trying to push through to the energy. Migraine spiked, sensitive to light, she kept her eyes shut tight as blood poured from her nose.

Body shaking, arms weak, the glowing, solid energy split before her palms, sent outwards in opposite directions. Her body moved back slightly, gently pressing against the wall. Green eyes squinted open when she realized there wasn't as much pain as there should have been, she wasn't sent into the wall as she had before. Sensitive to the light from her headache, she eyed the short, old woman in front of her.

"Their obligation was to close tunnels, it was their sole duty in life," Genkai's history lesson currently meant nothing to the blonde, who was ready to pass out from pain. "We thought they died out, considering what they were known for. But now that we were lucky enough to find a surviving bloodline in this situation, we're graced with a selfish, spoiled little girl to help us. But she's nothing but a coward."

_Blah blah blah._

Satomi tilted her head back against the wall, ignoring the old woman's words, furious and in pain. But her actions only invited another blast of energy sent her way, and she lifted her hands again, a precautionary measure, honestly otherwise useless, and focused again as she had last time. Having grasped the concept before, it came easier the second time as she memorized the energy, grasping hold of what was seemed intangible, and pushing it aside.

The burst of energy split in two, shooting outwards towards Yusuke and Kurama, who were on either side of her. They moved aside easily, letting the energy pass them.

Exposed to new danger and harm, her body continued to shake as Genkai held her arms behind her back, finished. Kurama leaned down to the hyperventilating girl, blood pouring down her face, threatening to drip onto her clothes. Knowing her well, he held out his hand, cupping it to catch the blood that threatened to fall, and she wrapped a limp around his neck to stand up.

Minutes passed after they guided her to the couch and gave her a damp towel to wipe up the blood.

"You fucked up my house, Grandma," Yusuke grumbled, seeing the crack in the wall from where the energy had hit after Satomi deflected it.

"If she had come to me yesterday like she was supposed to, your apartment wouldn't have been our training grounds," Genkai had returned to her seat at the table, drinking warm tea. She turned to see Satomi sitting, still shaking, on the couch, "Don't think we're done yet, girl. I've got plans for you."

Ignoring the old woman, Satomi turned to Kurama and opened her blazer slightly, puffing her chest out. Tissues shoved up her nose to stop the bleeding, she quickly pushed one up further into her nostril with her index finger as she looked down at her shirt.

Her body shook as she tried forcing herself better, "Did I get blood on my shirt?"

Satomi eyed the shirt as Kurama glanced for the sight of blood, "No."

"Good, this is Calvin Klein," She adjusted her blazer over her chest. "I would have been pissed."

He stifled a laugh, "You say that as if you paid for it."

He watched as she continued trying to cope with the situation by digging in her purse and pulling out her lipstick. She pulled the bloodied tissues from her nose. It was different than her shutting down, she was determined to convince herself this situation wasn't happening.

After reapplying lipstick, she acknowledged the new aura graced her senses a while ago, and she perked up slightly.

"Who's in the other room?" She turned her view down the small hallway, finding the room with an open door.

"One of the seven," Yusuke shoved his hands in his pockets, chuckling a bit as if he completely forgot the enemy was there.

He began his way into the hallway, and Kurama stood up. Satomi, not wanting to be left in the same room with Genkai, stood up quickly, knees weak, and grabbed onto Kurama's arm for support. He paused, waiting for her to stand straight, and she clutched onto his sleeve as they followed Yusuke into his room.

She was a bit surprised at how neat the room was, only some magazines and clothes sprawled about. For some reason, she took Yusuke as the typical teen boy who'd leave his room a mess. But even then, Satoshi had his room spic and span, everything in a neat order, and he was a typical teen boy.

After eyeing the room, she found Kuwabara in the corner on a bean bag, knocked out, and another boy asleep in bed. Surprised, she walked closer to the boy after throwing away her bloodied tissues in the trash can. She didn't expect such a young boy to be an enemy. He was at least her age, give or take a year.

"Can you read him?" Kurama turned towards Satomi, who retreated back to the closed door.

She nodded.

"Can you intrude?"

She nodded again and the group waited for the young boy to awaken. With minutes passing and Satomi's patience growing slim to none, she intruded into his head. Finding him in a deep, dreamless sleep, she sent in the same overused, yet still useful, images of the forest on the island, the emotions of fear tagging along with it, of being stalked and followed.

And after a quick fit of fear in his sleep, the boy woke up with a gasp of surprise, only to be quickly followed by a jab of pain from his injuries. He moved around on the bed, and then noticed the three teenagers standing near the perimeter of the mattress.

"Hi," Yusuke's sly smile was almost comical for the situation.

"Where am I?" The boy eyed the room, unnerved, ignoring Yusuke's domineering smile.

"My room," His sly smile disappeared quickly and he began to talk casually.

Yusuke jabbed a finger at Kuwabara's sleeping form, "Found that dumbass outside my place with four dudes on his back."

The boy grimaced, angry as he remembered he'd been caught.

"The other three boys are safe," Kurama noted. "They talked about you. Then we made them forget what happened."

Satomi looked over to Kurama, curious how they went about erasing memories.

"So you're going to tell us everything," Yusuke growled.

Satomi's eyes returned to the boy with interest, wondering if he found Yusuke a threat.

"And there's no use hiding anything," Yusuke jabbed his finger towards Satomi. "She'll know what you're hiding."

The boy looked at Satomi and her small frame, wondering what she could possibly do to tell if he was lying. But anger swelled in him, and Satomi felt the emotions, glimpses of his thoughts passed through her head, and her jaw dropped open slightly.

"We shouldn't be alive," he spat.

"Who is 'we'?" Kurama asked. "Your friends?"

"Humans," Satomi mumbled as the boy said it with conviction.

More images flew into her head as she read the boys thoughts, he was remembering something. Her stomach began to churn as the images poured in.

"You'd agree with me if you saw that video tape," his voice was filled with venom, pure hatred.

Pieces of the video tapes footage passed by, latching onto her, mentally engraving themselves in her head. Disturbed, she put her weight onto the door and tried to keep her composure, but stomach acid was seeping up into her throat as she watched raw footage of the brutality.

Jews and other victims dropping in the gas chamber, prisoners lined up blindfolded—shot between the eyes, a child's flesh from their flesh pulled back to expose—

"What video?" Yusuke grew curious.

"Chapter Black," the boy explained. "The one that shows all the horrible things people have done."

"That's impossible!" Kurama voice rose in disbelief.

"You know what it is?" Yusuke turned to Kurama.

The boy's thoughts and remembering of the video's footage continued, Satomi couldn't find herself to cut off the mental connection, too scared, entranced in a disturbed way. She had completely forgotten how. New footage passed through her mind, every gruesome aspect lingering just a minute longer. She was completely in sync with his thoughts.

"You don't know what that video contains! That's why you're still playing the heroes of humanity," the boy cried. "Humans don't deserve to live!"

Yusuke got up from the chair and kicked it out of the way as he got in the boy's face, "And that's why humans should end up as dinner for demons?"

"Yes!" The boy shrieked, tears forming in his eyes. His mind processed the memories, remembering the footage, everything trickling into Satomi's head like a healthful river. "You know nothing of the nature of humans."

Yusuke and the boy argued for a while, Satomi leaned against the door, taking in the footage as the images continued to pour inside.

The girl's face, a bat connecting over and over, bludgeoning and distorting her features, teeth knocked out—The boy hung his head in depression, sobbing, "I'm fed up."

"He's not a threat anymore," Kurama said to Yusuke, hand on his shoulder. "We should let him rest."

The two boys turned around, remembering Satomi being particularly quiet throughout the interaction. Kurama looked over to her, seeing her small frame shaking still. Her eyes wide and plastered to the ground, darting back and forth, taking in new footage. Her jaw slacked and lips trembled, and Yusuke walked up to her, leaning down slightly to be face-to-face.

"Hey," he waved his hand in front of her face.

"She must have seen footage," Kurama said quietly as he took hold of her shoulders to steady her. "She must have picked it up as she tried intruding. He remembered various parts during our conversation."

He led her body out to the hallway and Yusuke followed, close behind Kurama and Satomi.

"A video tape that shows all the dreadful crap humans have done?" Yusuke looked at Satomi as Kurama guided her to lean against the wall.

Her eyes continued darting back and forth on the ground, as they often did when she began searching for someone. This time it was the footage in her head, she saw nothing else.

"It sounds scary."

"I guess," Kurama sighed, wondering how he could pull Satomi out of her train of thought. He shook her gently, not wanting to spike her headache again. "The average human can't last long watching it. Five or ten minutes, at the most. With what Satomi can handle, I'm not sure how long she has."

"Stop, you're giving me the creeps," Yusuke took his gaze from Kurama to Satomi.

"We need to snap her out of this," Kurama snapped his fingers in front of Satomi's darting eyes. But her eyes ignored his attempts, darting on the ground into different directions, watching the footage play. "I can only imagine what she's picked up."

"Oi, _Satomi_," Yusuke yelled in her ear, grabbing the attention of Botan and Genkai who sat close by in the living room.

But she stayed silent and unresponsive, tears began to water her eyes as the images and clips began to replay again. She wasn't connected to the boy anymore; it was her own head replaying the footage she had acquired.

"I'm worried that we may have to resort to physical violence to snap her out of this," Kurama said.

And Yusuke looked towards him, waiting for Kurama to slap her out of it.

"I couldn't lay a hand on her like that," Kurama sighed with dismay after he noticed Yusuke's stare.

Yusuke rubbed the back of his neck, "Dunno, man. I don't wanna hit her."

"If we don't snap her out of it, she may shut down or," He noticed her body retched, her mouth opening slightly as her stomach began jerking inward. Kurama recognized her body movement instantly, "She's going to vomit."

Yusuke sighed, irritated, "Not at my place!"

Yusuke remembered how he'd slapped Keiko out of her catatonic state in the stadium. Satomi was not Keiko; he and Keiko had a certain bond that allowed them to treat each other a certain way. He had no bond with Satomi, and he felt awkward as he grabbed a hold of her shoulder.

"Hey, Satomi," he raised his voice as he shook her. "I really don't wanna hit you. Snap out of it!"

Kurama saw the slight change in her face, turning to one of horror as her mouth dropped open more, frowning. Her body began jerking violently. Was there anything for her stomach to eject?

She had noticed a new aspect of the footage she picked up, something just as horrible and terrifying.

"Yusuke..." Kurama trailed off, wanting to warn him of her constant mental slip downwards.

Yusuke raised his hand and hesitated, he slowly put it down and turned to Botan and Genkai, who had crowded around, "Can you get her out of this?"

"I really don't..." Botan eyed Satomi warily, watching her dry heave.

She wasn't close to Satomi either, and wouldn't feel right harming her in that way... but if nobody snapped her out of this...

"Move aside," Botan stepped up from behind Yusuke and nudged him out of the way, his grip on Satomi's shoulder loosened and he retrieved his hand.

Botan raised her hand and slapped it across Satomi's face quickly, the impact of flesh on flesh echoed a bit throughout the hallway. Quickly, Satomi reached up her hand and placed it on her burning cheek, some blood trickled down the side of her mouth onto her chin as she looked around the hallway.

She could taste the metallic flavor in her mouth as she looked around at the group, wondering why she was outside in the hallway and not inside the bedroom.

"Sorry, Satomi," Botan sighed, putting her index finger in the air to emphasize her point. "But you were unresponsive again, and you were going to throw up."

"Are you alright?" Kurama leaned down towards her as she lowered her gaze to the floor again, cupping his hand underneath her chin once more.

"I'm fine," She croaked.

Images began pushing into her head again, and she tried rejecting them, stowing them away to repress. Botan handed her the same towel from earlier for Satomi to wipe away the blood. Satomi took it with caution as she looked up to Yusuke.

"By the way," she remembered her conversation with Koenma.

She was unsure of why that memory popped up first, but she welcomed any images other than the ones that had currently plagued her head. Her stomach churned again at the thought of the footage but this was pretty important, "Koenma knows the enemy."

Yusuke shot over to the briefcase Botan had brought with her and Kurama guided Satomi over to the small dinner table to sit down. She could hear Koenma's voice as Kurama walked over to see the conversation. Satomi stayed put, listening to Koenma's voice and simultaneously trying to prevent the images from returning.

"How are you feeling?" Kurama snapped her out of her daze.

"Fine," she lied.

She sat calmly at the table, pushing the images away with ease now. But her own thoughts remained and lingered.

They closed the briefcase, waiting for Koenma to arrive. Genkai looked over to Satomi, giving another surprise attack. Genkai still wouldn't use her full force on Satomi; it'd probably kill the poor girl. She extended her palm once more, sending spirit energy towards Satomi. The blonde glanced up, glaring at the old woman, and concentrated on the energy that shot towards her.

Quickly remembering what she had done last time, she felt the energy and manipulated it, forcing it out of the way, directing it elsewhere in no particular choice of direction. Blood trickled out of Satomi's nostrils again, spiking another headache.

"Quit it, you old hag," Yusuke yelled. "You're fucking up my place!"

Genkai ignored Yusuke and kept her gaze on the blonde, "Hm."

She turned away, and Satomi stared at the table until Kuwabara awoke. Eventually, Koenma came.

And she sat silently, staring at the table as Koenma explained the situation with Sensui. Having snapped over witnessing the nature of humans, specifically the Black Black Club. But her thoughts were elsewhere, his words muffled—she focused on the tape's footage, and the memories of the tournament trickled back into play.

The reality of the tournament had been clouded and repressed due to her father's actions, something she had focused on solely since the issue had related to her. But upon remembering the tournament itself, she realized the disturbing nature of humans wasn't something to be surprised about. Her father was a case example of the way humans acted—how they weren't two-dimensional, how their true nature could surface or stay hidden, being released only in secret.

But the dark tournament, people betting on the lives of others for amusement and profits. Surviving the tournament itself was a tremendous feat, especially if your team had lost. Survival of the fittest, to the tee.

They took enjoyment in watching them, pawns—as the contestants were referred as—fight to the death. Once in the arena, if you wanted out, you could only hope your opponent held some form of conscious, some ounce of mercy. But you were considered weak if you let your opponent live—ironically, you were considered as holding attributes given to humans: compassion, care, any other emotion that would be considered weak and hinder your growth in strength.

But to win the title of Dark Tournament Champion was just as disturbing as the people betting. Whether it was out of fear of losing or to win the granted wish, it was as if you'd sunk down to their level regardless.

Green eyes traced the cut of the woodwork on the table as she wondered how it was possible to bet on other's lives for amusement. It seemed no different from the footage of the video, acts that were disturbing enjoyments to see others suffer.

Satomi eyes drifted towards Kurama, wondering if he'd changed in the slightest from his title as a Dark Tournament Champion. Kurama was a demon, maybe the tournament hadn't changed him because that fighting and power were common, expected, a way of life, in the Makai. But he hadn't seemed to change from what she'd seen, he was still a caring person overall...

She held humans to a separate standard, one of compassion or, at the very least, understanding.

But the tournament, the Dark Tournament, a death tournament… It wasn't a surprise to see the footage on that video, it was almost expected.

Humans were vile creatures.

Green eyes fell back to the woodwork on the table, and then seconds later to Koenma, who sat in his older form, and stared at the Jr. plastered on his forehead.

Koenma looked over to her since, by coincidence, she looked up at the particular time he brought up Sakyo's name. The room silenced, prompting her to notice the muffled buzzings of their conversation had died out, and she began paying attention.

"What's happening?" Her eyes drifted down from the Jr. on his forehead to his eyes. "I wasn't paying attention."

"Sakyo created all of this," Koenma repeated his previous sentence. "The tunnel, the—"

"He was making business when I was just a kid!" Yusuke's exclamation cut of Koenma.

Kurama looked towards Satomi who returned his stare, creating a silent conversation. She shook her head slowly, gently, answering his silent stare. Her father wasn't a part of the Club when she was younger. He couldn't have been, he didn't have any status until she was at least nine.

Her eyes were low and sad, remembering the footage, the images, and the memories from her father. She turned her attention back to Koenma and her phone started to buzz. She looked at the caller ID: "Suzumi", and picked it up slowly, answering it as Koenma continued.

"Satomi," her mother's voice rang through the phone cheerfully, it was noticeably forced in an attempt to shroud out her earlier grieving. "I've moved in to my new place."

"You just... but..." Satomi slowly began to snap out of her disgusted trance and paid attention to her mother's voice. Satomi's hand found its way to her forehead, confused, "How did you move so fast?"

"I had already given the down payment before I called you about it last time," she explained. "I called you on my flight last night and brought all my clothing. The place is partially furnished. All that's left is the rest of the furniture that will be brought over within the next week or so."

"But the house you had in America..."

"Oh, the realtor is going to take care of that for me. I want you to come by and visit."

"Uh, I'm a bit busy," Her eyes drifted to Kurama in desperate hope. "Now's not that great a time..."

Kurama moved his hand over hers and pushed the phone down silently. He whispered to her, having overheard the conversation, "Go. She'll call my mother and then drag us both into it."

He was right, if Satomi didn't agree, Suzumi would move onto Shiori, who would want to bring the two teenagers over for dinner. Now was a bad time, and she couldn't afford to put Kurama in a sticky family situation, he had to be here to deal with the boy in the room.

"Um, never mind," she said as she picked the phone back up and placed it to her ears. Her piercings clinked quietly against the phone, "I'll meet you..."

"Great, we can meet in front of Shiori's. It's close by to where I am."

"Okay, I'll call you when I'm close."

Her mother hung up and Satomi sighed heavily as she stood up, feeling a familiar presence.

"By the way, the guy that cracked Murota's skull," Satomi looked out the window as Yusuke and Kurama whipped around, following her actions, feeling the territory expand.

She looked up at Sensui, who stood on the roof of the building opposite to Yusuke's, finding a younger boy and girl next to him.

Meeting Sensui's eyes, she backed away from the window, "He's here."

She watched the older boy next to Sensui set up his hand, and was able to seep into his mind. Almost instantly, in sync with Kuwabara, she turned to the hallway.

"The boy!" If he was hurt, they may not get any information from him.

"Mitarai!" Kuwabara yelled, running into Yusuke's room.

Sensui moved his mouth as if to speak to them, address them personally, but she was unable to hear anything. Though she was able to pick up the girl's thoughts, overhearing a memory of being seen by the girl before.

_I didn't expect to see little Miss Chronic Bitch Face_, the girl's thoughts echoed in laughter.

Satomi lifted her hand up, towards the girl, and flipped her off, satisfied with having a manicure to emphasize her point.

"Mitarai was manipulated from the start," Kurama moved in front of Satomi, shielding her from the line of possible fire.

"You can hear him?!" Yusuke said, surprised.

"I can read lips," he replied calmly.

"They're aiming for him," Glass shattered in the next room as Satomi voiced her intruding.

"Leave," Kurama turned around, looking down at Satomi. "If you don't show up to visit your mother, she'll drag mine into this."

Shiori would get dragged into Suzumi's little game of catch up, and they would all suddenly be invited to dinner somewhere. This was a situation where anything could happen, and it was much better if Satomi stayed with her mother as a decoy to deter any unwanted family matters.

"Okay," She nodded, backing away towards the front door to pick up her heels.

As she slipped on her shoes, Yusuke and Kuwabara darted out the front door, running past her on either side, leaving the front door wide open.

"Be careful," She turned around, slipping on the other heel as she looked over to him. "Promise you won't die on me."

He walked past her, gripping her shoulder in silence and exchanging a brief moment of silence before running out the door to join his friends.

Of course, there were no promises to be made in this situation.

* * *

**—Satomi.**

Earlier, on my walk here, I heard explosions I was walking, and I was tempted to run back but… I knew I was of no use, and it would endanger both my mother and Shiori. I'd let Kurama down if I went back. Maybe twenty minutes passed, and all the while I suppressed the images I'd picked up from Mitarai. When I arrived in front of Kurama's house, I dug around in my purse to call my mother and she picked up instantly.

"Walk down the street," My mother didn't bother greeting me, her voice was lowered, as if she was hissing.

I continued walking, phone pressed to my ear.

"Be careful," Her voice was low; wind muffled her words and the connection. "There's someone from the yakuza walking around."

If that was true, then I could only hope for one person to be walking around. But it wasn't a bad part of town, but then again, neither was the area of the salon and tattoo parlor. Eyeing the area, I found my mother leaning around the corner, wearing casual business attire and large, black sunglasses. Black slacks, white button up, black heels, hair tucked up into a tight bun… She never dressed like that; she must have gone to an interview at the hospital.

My attention turned from my mother to the burly figure walking behind her, and I was lucky that he was walking around.

I hung up the phone, eager to introduce my mother to him, "Kobayashi!"

The older man turned around as my mother grimaced but when she realized what I'd done her face turned to one of shock.

"Hey, girly!" He smiled and turned around, walking towards me, in the direction he originally came from.

His voice was still overpowering and harsh, and it was a bit weird to hear his voice and see his cheerful face. He looked much younger with a smile on.

"What are you doing?" My mother walked up to me, hissing in my face.

"Saying hello to a friend," I was casual, keeping a straight face on as Kobayashi closed in on us.

"A friend?" My mother's voice went from a hissing whisper to inaudible as Kobayashi came up closer.

"How've you been, girly?" His eyes drifted back and forth between me and my mother.

"Fine" I lied, and held my hand out towards my mother. "This is my mother, Suzumi."

Kobayashi turned to my mother and nodded, "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm sorry for your loss."

My mother's range of emotions turned on a dime, and her shock turned to sadness instantly.

At least she was able to cover it up with a polite reply, "It's a pleasure to meet you as well. If you don't mind me asking, how do you two know each other?"

Kobayashi looked over to me, not wanting to get me into trouble. He'd go along with any little white lie.

But instead I shrugged, and then turned to my mother.

I knew I could get away with telling the truth right now, "I got a tattoo. He worked at the parlor."

"Oh—I—Satomi!" My mother looked down at her daughter, searching for the tattoo, only to realize I was covered up in clothing.

"Stop, mother," My mumble caused her to straighten up, she knew not to make a scene in public.

Something she used to stress when we were younger.

"She's a nice young girl," Kobayashi spoke up suddenly. "You did a real good job raising her."

I didn't bother questioning why Kobayashi was complimenting her; it was a polite thing to do for the both of us. But _why _he was being polite was interesting. So, curious, I dipped into his thoughts, only to find out he was just… nice. He was the epitome a teddy bear despite his aesthetics.

My mother looked down at the ground, feeling as if she didn't take any part in raising me. Well, she pretty much didn't. I wasn't going to console her about that.

"I've got to get going, it was a pleasure meeting you, Miss," Kobayashi nodded his head, realizing he struck a nerve. I waved goodbye as my mother bowed her head in return. "See you around, girly."

"Bye," I waved him off as he retreated back down the street.

My mother stared down at me for a few seconds, wondering what had happened since she left to America after Satoshi's death.

A lot happened, bitch.

She stayed quiet, not badgering me about Kobayashi or my tattoo, though she was obviously upset.

But her words took me by surprise, "You're a lot like your father."

"Don't compare me to him," I all but growled, and composed myself at the end.

But it still took her by surprise; her face fell as she searched my eyes.

"Where's your place?" I changed the subject, not wanting to deal with thoughts of my father.

She stumbled on her answer, taken back from my hostility, and then composed herself and led me around the block to a one story house.

Entering the home, it looked dismal and empty with only a couch and a TV stand standing across from it against the other wall. Some light seeped in through the sliding glass back door, but the dark curtains took away most of the light.

It would look homier after my mother puts her own furniture and spruces it up to her liking.

"My furniture hasn't come in yet, once it arrives it will be nice," My mother's cheerful attitude was forced, a desperate attempt to change the atmosphere.

I eyed the kitchen, finding some boxes placed upon the counter, items protruding and toppled upon each other.

I made my way to them, sifting through them mindlessly as my mother continued, "By the way, I have something for you, I'll be right back."

I nodded, not really acknowledging her words as I sifted through one of the boxes. Picture frames, office supplies… It was my father's belongings. Things he had in his office, little trinkets. I pulled out one of the picture frames to find a photograph I'd never seen before.

Flash on the camera, my father's skin seemed polished as he gave a goofy grin, and I sat next to him, ice cream carton in my grasp. Our faces were covered in ice cream, along with the dinner table in front of us. His smile was towards my mother who was taking the picture, as if to say "I'm sorry. I'll clean this mess up, I swear."

I analyzed the picture, trying to remember the day, but nothing particular came to mind, and I set it back in the box.

Ignoring my father's trinkets, I moved onto the other box, finding papers and envelopes. Fingering through them, I remembered one particular paper that I knew she'd have. And my suspicions were confirmed; I dug the envelope out from the bottom of the box.

UC Berkeley.

I remembered Satoshi's hard work that went into the application. The clubs, the volunteer work, the grades, the class president campaign runs, the International Exams, the test scores… everything.

Satoshi worked himself to the bone for this acceptance letter and he was never able to open it. Still unsure of what made him kill himself, I opened the envelope, pulling out a thin piece of paper.

"See?" My mother's voice rang out in the empty house as she stepped out of the hallway. She held up a white sundress that flared at the end, laced in floral around the edges of the dress and the straps, "I thought you'd like it."

My eyes drifted back to the letter, reading the first sentence. My mother ran up to me, and I pulled away as she tried snatching it from my grip.

Her heart sank, along with mine as she cried, brown eyes watering, "Why are you looking at that?! Why did you open it?"

"Because I wanted to" Seemed insensitive to say, so I kept my mouth shut and looked back at the box of papers, ashamed.

But my eyes caught onto a familiar, folded paper; and something deep in my brain—a nerve—snapped. I snatched my brother's poem from the box and opened it, almost tearing it in the process.

Shutting down, switching off, anxiety spiking, voices triggering. Voices erupted in violence, the similar anger I felt when I was younger with the need to protect my brother surfaced.

"Same fucking reason why you took this poem from my desk," I shoved the poem in her face, but she pushed my arm away before I could make contact. "Selfish bitch."

"I showed him that poem," She retorted, face flushed and tears pouring. I felt no remorse. "I bought him a book full of all these poems, and that one was his favorite."

"So you take it off my desk?" The struggle to restrain myself was intense—my hands flew up every second, threatening to tear the skin off her face. "Only physical thing I had from him! And because you showed him it, you think you can take it?"

She opened her mouth again, but I shoved the letter into her stomach, winding her. She leaned over, clutching her stomach as she held onto the letter.

"We appreciate your interest in the University of California, Berkeley," I leaned in, reciting the letter as I gripped the dress she'd bought. I yanked it from her grip to chuck it across the room, "But we're sorry to inform you—that you weren't fucking good enough to get in, so fuck off."

I screamed the last line in her ear as I shoved her out of the way, shoving her into the ledge of the kitchen counter.

"Some fucking mother you are," I took my leave, slamming the door behind me. "Nothing but a goddamn liar."

The Dark Tournament, the Black Black Club, Chapter Black, my father, my brother, humans—in general.

And now, my mother.

Where's Sensui and that goddamn tunnel? I'm sick of humans.


	31. Fear and Loathing

**A/N: **Shorter chapter than usual. Sorry not sorry. You all are probably rejoicing anyways.

I personally like posting shorter chapters. It's a lot easier on me in terms of revising the chapter before I post (no, it's seriously a bitch to revise 5.5k words). Anyways, here you go.

* * *

I sat next to my dad with my legs on his lap, braiding the hair of my doll as he held a book in front of him, reading silently to himself. He was redolent of whiskey and cologne, and both were comforting scents.

The TV served merely as background noise, something only I was paying attention to periodically. But my father's humming took my attention more often, whistling occasionally to _Black Water _perfectly, as if he was hearing it play in his head. I could pick up the lyrics from his hums, knowing the song.

_Mississippi moon, won't you keep on shinin' on me._

From the window near the couch, a red light shone through, then blue, reflecting off the doll's platinum blonde hair. A siren went off, stopping immediately after one sounding, drawing my dad's attention to the window. I got up from the couch and raced to the window to peer past the curtains as my dad made it to the door.

Satoshi's silhouette was accompanied by an older man's. As he stepped up to the porch and the light flicked on, I noticed the shining badge on his chest: a police officer.

I ran to the front door as my dad opened it. Satoshi's wide grin disappeared instantly when he realized mother wasn't the one home to reprimand him. He didn't know what to expect from Daddy.

"This your son?" The officer grunted.

My dad nodded, a cold stare pierced down on my thirteen, almost fourteen, year old brother.

"Breaking and entering in the old abandoned house on Eighteenth Street," the officer explained, but my dad's harsh glare never left Satoshi's scared, paling face. "That's government property. He was with a couple of other delinquents, but since his record's clean we're letting him off with a warning."

The officer nudged Satoshi into the house, and Satoshi willingly attempted to protest by standing his ground to stay on the porch, but failed. My dad gripped Satoshi's shoulder, yanking him inside.

"Thank you, officer," my dad nodded, and the officer tipped his hat and left.

My dad shut the door, expecting to find a scared, submissive son when he turned around to view the boy who stood at 167 centimeters. But Satoshi and his sass didn't know when to quit, it became his default attitude when in trouble. He quickly converted his fear into attitude.

"Thanks for covering, dad," Satoshi winked, grinning feebly as he clicked his tongue against his teeth. "Those bacon bits, man."

"_Bacon bits_?" My dad hissed, unamused as he raised his eyebrow at his son.

"You know, how cops are pigs?" Satoshi's laugh was choppy, nervous. "Well, that guy ain't much, just a bacon bit."

The guy was well into his sixties and had to have been on the force for a while, my brother just didn't know how to think fast enough in this situation. He was used to mother. His brain was scattered.

Satoshi quickly looked down at me when he realized his failure in lightening the situation, as if I could do something to help him. I shrugged, shaking my head with confused. I didn't know what to do for him, I was seven.

"Well, I'll be off to bed, dad," he gave him two shaky thumbs up as he moved backwards towards the stairs, away from my dad.

"You _will_ be off to bed," my dad gripped Satoshi's shoulder and dragged him up the stairs into his room.

I waited for a safe distance before following them up the stairs, dragging my doll along with me by her hair. I pressed my ear against Satoshi's closed door.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" My dad's voice was harsh, harsher than I'd ever heard it before.

Low, threatening, domineering. It was, in a strange way, horrifying. For a split second I became worried that it wasn't my dad behind the door.

"Boys will be boys?" My brother quipped hopefully.

"Boys will be held accountable for their actions just like everyone else."

Satoshi knew he would've gotten an earful and some lackluster punishment from mother if she had been the one home, but he didn't know what to expect from Daddy.

"What were you thinking? Who were you with?"

"Yeah, let's turn me into the school rat, too, while we're at it," my brother snorted.

My dad pondered on his words for a few seconds, wondering what that animosity stemmed from, but decided that was a question for another time.

"I'll send you back to that officer and have him put you in juvie for the night," he threatened, walking towards the door.

I scrambled for a second, frazzled, as I looked around the hallway, wondering which room would be better for me to hide in.

"Hibiki," he lied quickly, prompting my dad's footsteps to stop. "Matsumoto, Hibiki, and Tanaka, Masaru."

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter, son," my dad sighed and moved onto the other question. "What were you thinking, breaking into government property?"

I knew Satoshi did his signature, wide-eyed, innocent shrug and the door opened, causing me to fall into the room, unable to pick my weight up from the door before it was too late.

"Satomi," my dad's voice was gentler while addressing me. "Go downstairs and watch TV."

My eyes flickered over to Satoshi, and our eyes met briefly as I picked myself up from the floor. He looked nervous, anticipating what my dad could possibly do. Satoshi knew my dad wouldn't lay a hand on him, but he'd never been reprimanded by my dad before, mother did that for the both of them.

"Go," he ordered, his voice harsher.

I turned around and began walking to the stairs, stopping on the second step as my dad closed the door.

"What's happening at school?"

The susurrus of their voices seemed to float under the door and into the hallway. And Satoshi's attempt at breaking bad was nipped in the bud.

* * *

You see, my parents each spoiled their favorite child in different ways.

My dad gave me money whenever I wanted, and before he began avoiding me, I was given everything out of love and being Daddy's Little Princess. After he began avoiding me, he spoiled me with money and materials for absolutely no other reason than to hope to make up for being absent. I was spoiled with material possessions and money for no other reason. At some point, I didn't even have to ask, I was just handed everything on the sheer whim that I'd like it, and I often did.

My mother spoiled my brother in a different way, and though it was half-assed, it made a huge difference. My brother wasn't as materialistic as I was, he didn't enjoy clothing or money, he didn't care about his appearance the way I did. My mother would make him "earn" his money and materials, even if it was doing something as trivial as unloading the damn dishwasher. She would make him earn his money or clothes, or more importantly, books. He loved books of all kind, but his favorite genre was poetry, and he generally stuck to poetry if not sci-fi.

That's what created a huge gap in the way Satoshi and I saw materials and how we began coping with things that bothered us.

Kurama's comforting hand was on my back, and I was brought back to the situation at hand, my inner struggle.

Unfortunately, I had run into Botan and Genkai while following the energy emitted from the tunnel, and Genkai's hard ass brought me along with them. The train ride here to Mushiyori was a way to help me calm down, I wasn't as compulsive and adamant about opening that tunnel as I was before. My incipient anger had dispersed, lingering only a strong sickness, a loathing.

But still, I battled with myself, and I stood silent in the group of people who accompanied me and argued internally for hours.

Seconds would pass by, and I would shake my head and think _I'll help them! I'll help them stop this mess. There's good people in the world that deserve it._

And then in that very same second, reality would ram itself into my head, decking me like I'd been hit with a bag of bricks. Humans were vile, disgusting, morbid creatures and didn't deserve to live.

"You're going to get lock-jaw with how you're tensing your face," He stared off into the distance, waiting for Yusuke to arrive. "What happened with your mother?"

He was right. As I opened my mouth, a tense, sharp pain emerged, as if someone had screwed the hinges shut.

"Just reminded me why I love Shiori."

His hand stayed put, a silent comfort, and I remembered why it would be a good reason to help close the tunnel. There were good people. Kurama was one of them.

No, I remembered quickly, Kurama wasn't _human._

We waited patiently near the cave, and I kept bouncing back and forth, feeling guilty that the thought of destroying this world even entered my mind. But I couldn't help it, I'd been around humans all my life, and rarely any of them were good, nice.

They were all horrible, selfish, destructive, hateful... abusive.

I remembered what I first thought when I saw UC Berkeley's rejection sentence, "Serves you right."

Even I was a sack of shit.

I didn't even know where that animosity came from... and it was such a simple comment that appeared in the back of my head out of nowhere.

"I've never seen you so angry," Botan said quietly as we waited for Yusuke. I realized how tense my face was once more and softened my features. "What happened with your mother?"

"Nothing," I replied quietly, looking down at the ground.

Botan was nice, everyone here was nice. They were good people. I looked up to Genkai, who stared me down. A silent, knowing stare, as if she knew of my current imbroglio, but she said nothing as she turned to look past me. Yusuke's aura was close by, accompanied by one more.

"Hiei," I mumbled, turning around to view the two boys running towards our group.

"There they are!" Botan said, relieved, with her hand above her brows to shadow her eyes from the soon to be setting sun.

I wondered what happened while I was gone since Yusuke seemed a bit battered, but I said nothing. No reason to stay attached to these people with what I may end up choosing. I wanted to stay put where I was, but Kurama guided me towards the group as we huddled to go over the tallies of Sensui and his followers.

"There are four enemies left," Botan said. "We have two days."

"Itsuki said it'd be much faster than he anticipated," Mitarai perked up.

"Satomi," Genkai turned to me and I drifted out of my thought process, my inner battle. "Can you channel energy to slow him down?"

It was obvious by my sheer lack of practice of dealing with tunnels, whether or not I'd be able to open or close it mattered on the proximity between me and the energy. The closer I was, the more likely I'd be able to handle it.

_I can't from here, but even if I could, I wouldn't_, I thought instantly, and a shiver went down my spine, convulsing me.

I turned to look at Hiei, who was staring me down. A cold stone glare that I'd never witnessed before. And I never wanted to witness it again. I looked down at the ground, ashamed, but everyone assumed I began working on channeling energy, and their attention turned away from me.

I waited for his sword to unsheathe and cut me clean across my neck to end me, but instead, he took me by surprise.

_I won't say anything, _I heard him communicate to me. He had been prying for a while, eavesdropping on my inner battle. _But I won't hesitate to kill you if you turn on us._

I looked at him curiously because both of us knew that was another empty threat. I didn't expect him to be the type to stand and wait for an answer, an action, from something this serious, especially since he'd chosen to fight alongside Yusuke.

_Kill me now, _he may have taken it as a taunt, but I honestly wanted him to stop me before I turned against them.

A locked stare, one of hope from myself, one of condescending thoughts from his.

_Unlike your unnecessary company on the island, you're actually useful with this situation. I won't kill you until I know you're a traitor._

God, if he knew then they all knew. They all knew my thoughts. They were all going to hate me.

No, calm down. Don't break. Concentrate. You're just dealing with delusions.

My eyes fell to the ground, debating, my stomach churning. Kurama and Botan were nice, but they weren't human. Yusuke and Kuwabara were nice, and they were human but...

"Where's Kuwabara?" I figured he was with Urameshi the whole time, it hadn't really clicked that he wasn't here until now.

But everyone's occupancy with the situation meant something else.

"Sensui took him hostage," Kurama answer quickly, quietly, and returned to the group to help sort a plan.

Kuwabara was in trouble. He really was a nice guy... He was nice enough to offer carrying me off the island when I shut down, and we rarely talked.

He was really a good person, and to them, a great friend. I wasn't around him often, but when I was I saw he had such a caring heart for his friends. If there were more people like Kuwabara then maybe the world wouldn't be such a bad place.

Genkai's stare dragged me from my thoughts and I turned my attention to Hiei again, who returned my gaze.

I remembered the line of humans in the footage, waiting to be slaughtered, the rapes, sex slavery, and a man just repeatedly bashing in a young boy's head, curb stomping him, over and over and over. I remembered my dad's memory, his payment to watch a young girl mutilated.

Why were they all fighting for humans? All they did was spread hatred and destructive, abusive behavior.

He seemed a bit envious that I was able to see footage of the tape. I kept my gaze on Hiei and then thought about Shiori, and how she'd hug me after I had an episode, her smile when she saw me in the hospital a few days ago. Kobayashi and his compliment, the cat shirt. His late wife. His smile when he met my mother and complimented me and her.

_There are good people in the world, right? _The connection to Hiei was still open, and he heard me clearly despite taking a minute that seemed like hours to respond.

The rest of the group conversed, thinking up plans.

He hesitated in answering, looking over to the group, thinking about it.

_You're not a good person?_ He turned to look back at me.

I hesitated, unsure of whether or not I was a good person.

_Obviously I'm not if I thought about helping Sensui, right?_

"There will be teams who will go down there," Genkai's voice broke my mental connection with Hiei. We turned our concentration to her as she listed off their plan, "Kurama, Yusuke, and Hiei. You will go down into the cave."

She didn't mention my name, so I sighed in relief. I didn't want to go down there, because if I saw more horrible things, or I made my decision, I would…

No, I wouldn't.

But humans didn't deserve to live.

I thought I had gotten out of going down to the cave with them, and I watched my friend and Hiei descend along side the Spirit Detective in the cave.

Am I not a good person? I remembered Hiei's question, wondering if it was rhetorical. What makes me a good person?

Did Hiei think I was a good person? Or was it a snarky, rhetorical question?

The bad outweighed the good in the world, and it was a depressing fact, even with current global affairs.

I squatted and curled up, attempting to compose myself and not bash my face in the ground from an oncoming mental breakdown. I didn't bother with the energy of the tunnel, I knew I couldn't even budge the tunnel from this distance, and the old woman was clearly aware of that.

Dusk came, illuminating the grass around me with an orange tint, and I felt a tad better after nobody having talked to me for an hour about the situation. I wasn't pressured to make a decision. Maybe Yusuke fought Sensui and won and I wouldn't have to worry about my inner battle.

But that thought, the thought of Sensui losing and the tunnel closing, panged my heart in the most unsettling way I'd ever expected...

I paused, staring off into the entrance of the cave, into the darkness that reached on for what seemed like forever. Why was I battling myself anyways?

Because I had a lagniappe, I had the opportunity to choose. I could either close... or keep the tunnel open. I had the opportunity to do what I felt was right. That's what everyone in this mess was doing: fighting for what they felt was right.

And I had an opportunity to fight for whatever I felt was right. And whatever I chose, I had an advantage.

Realizing I'd been tensing my jaw again, I opened my mouth, feeling a sharp pain in the hinges of my jaw. And as I whined in pain, dragging Genkai's eyes back to me, I saw three faint figures emerge from the tunnel's darkness.

Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei emerged, with the two former boys covered in what seemed to be soot.

"What happened to you?" I kept my voice low, not wanting to open my mouth and bring back the sharp pain in my jaw.

Yusuke coughed out what seemed to be black smoke, "He had a crazy bitch down there keeping watch. Like a guard dog."

"She was quite the character," Kurama brushed himself off, spraying black residue in the air to float around.

"We got past her but there's a door in the way," Yusuke eyed Genkai. "We need seven people to play some game to get it open."

And though I'd just given myself a pep-talk about choosing what I felt was right, I slid into the background as they chose the people who would go down to play whatever game was presented. I felt a bit relieved that I was being forgotten, but Genkai had other plans for me.

I didn't want to have to make a decision, because I knew what I was going to choose. I was scared, I wanted to stay here and convince myself otherwise, to not help Itsuki and open the tunnel.

What if whatever happens down below causes me to snap? And there's no return at that point? What if I become so impulsive again, I make the choice I shouldn't?

"You'll come with us," she said as she looked over to me. "You seem to have trouble with stalling the tunnel from here, so you can come along with us to be closer to the source."

My eyes drifted from Genkai's to Hiei's, stupid enough. As if he'd have any reason to give me some consoling or reassurance. But, the mental connection was open, and all I could do was plead.

_Please kill me now, _I was scared because I knew my hatred was overpowering.

I wouldn't be scared if I didn't want to open the tunnel.

But he ignored me as he listened to the plans the group conjured. And his cloak whipped in the wind as he turned around and followed Genkai down into the tunnel. I turned to Kurama, but realized I couldn't go to him about this. He'd often let me feel guilty about things on my own, let me correct myself.

This was different, I couldn't say anything. I didn't want to find out what he'd do if I outed myself.

Scared, though unwilling to protest in fear of slipping up and outing myself and my previous idea, I dragged my feet along with them.


	32. Thank You For Not Snitching

**A/N: C**asual reminder that Satomi's trekking down a cave in three inch heels. Bitch is a lot more materialistic than she likes to think.

* * *

Delusions, ambivalence-free.

With each passing second, nearing the tunnel, descending in the cave, a clear instinct formed, surfacing from my stomach and traveling into the back of my head.

A calling. An understanding.

And I couldn't place it. It wasn't my head, my illness.

I'd been near tunnels before, but I'd never felt this.

A sinking feeling, pooling around my lungs and suffocating me. A knowledge.

But I welcomed the feelings more than I did my internal battle.

Soon, in the darkness, as I steadied myself by gripping onto someone's clothing in front of me to keep from falling, a sour, singed stench crawled into my nose. Familiar, as I personally knew the tamed, similar scent of burned flesh. The lingering feeling was shoved aside as I complained.

"What is that god awful stench?" I used my free hand to cover my nose and mouth.

"That's Kagura..." Mitarai replied, solemn and avoiding.

Instantly, I remembered the girl standing next to Sensui on the rooftop.

On guard, I inched closer to the person in front of me, "Is she alive?"

"I don't know. I don't think so..."

He seemed partial to the girl. Nosy, I briefly entered his head to find he'd pushed her away at the very last second.

_Leave it to you to care more about who's fucking who than focusing on your decision._

Hiei's voice wasn't comforting in the slightest. When was I going to learn it never would be?

_Leave it to you to continue fucking around in my head for no reason. Mind your own business. Or kill me. You get to chose one, you don't get both. You don't get it your way, this isn't Burger Wing._

_When you prove as useless as you always are, I'll grant your cowardly wish._

_I think I'm pretty fucking brave to betray you all._

That wasn't smart to say.

I waited, anxious, to hear him unsheathe his sword somewhere in the darkness around us. But he drew no attention to us, and our group continued into the darkness.

But the moaning behind us as we inched deeper into the caves caught our attention. Kagura had woken up.

"Dammit," Yusuke grumbled.

"You should have finished the job, Yusuke," Hiei put his unnecessary two cents in.

Yusuke groaned in irritation at the possibility that Hiei might have been right.

"She'll stay down," Mitarai mumbled. "She's human, she won't start another fight until she's ready. Let's just keep moving."

Wary, the group continued down into the cave, following the small sources of light Kurama had planted with a small plant during their previous excursion down here. No small talk among us, everyone was ready for the fight that would ensue upon Yusuke meeting up with Sensui.

And that thought brought me back to my fear, the decision I was leaning towards. I wanted to open the tunnel...

Luckily, stepping into a territory, I was able to distract myself from the morbid thoughts. Even the calling to understanding the tunnel was erased.

A light emitted from the golden doors in front of us, polishing the steel that separated us from our destination. Light seeped from the crack to give the doors a holy glow, a false feeling of sanctuary and revelation.

Around me settled Genkai, Yanagisawa, and Kaito, with Yusuke, Kurama, and Mitarai ahead of me. I let go of the clothing I had once gripped onto in safety upon realizing I'd been latching onto Hiei.

"So this is it?" I mumbled.

"Yup," Yusuke nodded in front of me, hands on his hips. "Needed seven players."

"I'm the unnecessary extra," I kept my voice low as I side glanced at Genkai, who returned a death glare head on.

"_Welcome to Goblin City!" _A deep voice boomed, echoing in the tunnel as if they'd installed a high-tech surround-sound stereo. "_You are the seven chosen warriors!_"

The doors cracked open, slowly at first, but then swung open violently by their weight to blind us all with the lighting inside.

The burning of my retinas to take in the drastic change of lighting sparked a headache, blinding me, and I felt someone's hand on my back to lead me inside with the rest of the group. Stumbling slightly as I dragged my feet into the new room, I heard the small clinks of my heels against the steel floor.

Eyes adjusted, I was welcomed into the high-tech room created by the territory of its own.

"What the hell?" Yusuke gaped as he eyed the area.

In front of us, on a leisure chair, sat a young boy who had to have just started middle school. He wore a strange outfit, a sort of costume, a coat with horns adorned on the head. Above him, slightly to the right, was a large TV screen made best for games and high definition movies. As high definition as one could get in the nintie's, at least.

"That was the intro to a game, wasn't it?" Yusuke turned to Kurama, who nodded in reply. "That game they advertised on TV recently. How do you play it?"

The boy stayed silent as we openly discussed our plans in the air, having little to no secrets of what we would eventually conjure. He wore a smug smile, as if he understood exactly what he was doing here... and by his thought process, he did. He was stalling us to make time for the tunnel to open.

"How do you play it then?" Yusuke asked, and Kurama's eyes widened in surprise.

"I thought you knew how."

"Nah, I saw the advertisements on TV and in magazines. I didn't buy it because I like fighting games better," he shrugged.

My eyes followed Kurama's, who surveyed the area, taking in similarities from the game that had been applied in the territory.

He nodded to a slot machine as large as the chair the boy was sitting on, that was accompanied by an ogre, "That slot machine. The master of the game makes it turn. That's how the level of the game is chosen. It goes from one to ten."

Kurama always was one for strategic games, puzzles and quizzes. I hadn't seen him play any recently though, then again I wasn't over at his house often anymore.

"Each player only plays one game. When a team gains four victories from four games, they win."

"Are you ready?" The little boy cut in, anxious to get started and play the games.

I hazard to guess he had no friends and was rejoicing in company.

"Hurry so we can get started! Aren't you in a hurry anyways? If you don't hurry up I'll just refuse to play."

Spoiled little shit didn't have any friends for this reason, I was willing to bet anyone in this room my life on it.

"Damn, this brat really pisses me off!" Yusuke snapped at the boy before turning towards Kurama, Kaito, Genkai, huddling in.

"Never mind him, Yusuke," Kurama even seemed tired of the boy already. "We need to think of a plan."

"That's what happens when you make a child the game master..." Kaito adjusted his glasses.

"Who's played the game?" Kurama turned to Mitarai.

"I have," he replied.

"Me too," Kaito replied.

"I've played it," a drawled out, ragged voice chimed in.

Genkai.

"You old geezer!" Yusuke snorted. "You played it?"

Genkai perked a smile on her small lips, proud, "Yeah, I have a lot of free time."

A lot of free time to chuck my ass around a room, that's for sure.

"Satomi, have you played?" Kurama asked.

"No. Video games were Satoshi's thing," I could do racing games like Mario or something, but nothing with puzzles. "I'm not good at puzzle games and stuff like that."

I shuffled slightly, kicking my heels against the tiled floor as I remembered everything was Satoshi's thing. The boy was like Superman.

"I know you haven't Hiei," Kurama turned to the sourpuss. "But you may have some skills to help us out."

"I know and care as much about video games as I do about puppies and love," he scoffed, leaning against the wall.

"Doesn't say much," I couldn't hide the spite in my voice. "You apparently know a hell of a lot about kittens."

Yusuke snorted out laughter, only encouraging my growing inner pride, "He what?! Does he really?"

I could feel Hiei's burning glare on the back of my neck, but fuck it. You only live once.

"He apparently knows how to pick them up the _proper _way," I giggled, feeling free for only minutes from my inner dilemma.

Yusuke erupted with laughter as Kurama took charge once again.

"Who's finished the game?" Kurama returned to calculating a plan.

"I did once," Genkai replied.

"I can maybe seven or eight times out of ten," Kaito nodded. "But that's only if my opponent is a normal person."

I held my breath as I backed away from the group, as I was useless in the process of their setting up. I leaned against the wall, watching them work their magic, feeling even more useless than before.

Why was I even down here? I wouldn't be useful until I came in contact with the tunnel, but then... it may not be great for them. It probably wouldn't be the outcome they were expecting.

"He must have chosen this game because he knows it well," Kurama kept his voice low, within the group.

"Amanuma," Mitarai introduced the game master they'd be playing with.

Kurama nodded, turning to face the empty, black screen above head, "We have to mistrust the game master then."

"The who?" Yusuke aired my thoughts for me.

"The game master," Kurama replied, reiterating a previously aired conversation we hadn't been paying attention to. "The boss. I'd like us to win at least three games in a row before dealing with him."

"Once we win three games, the game master will take his turn," Mitarai sure was vocal compared to earlier. "I've never beaten a boss battle, but I'm confident in sports."

"Times up!" The little boy rang with superiority. "Choose the first game!"

Kurama stayed silent, eyeing everyone in the group.

"Okay," he cleared his head. "Genkai, Mitarai, and Yanagisawa."

"Me? What?" Yanagisawa was just as surprised as the rest of us.

Surely he should have picked Kaito, he was more likely to win in a puzzle game from what I understood.

"The three of you have to win three games," Kurama spouted orders like a war general, calm and determined. "We'll handle the rest."

"Roll the slot!" The boy chirped up, and we all waited with held breath.

Upon the slot, the fate came up: sports, tennis, level seven.

"This is what I'm good at," Mitarai perked up. "Can I start?"

Yusuke and Kurama nodded as the boy began his way towards the middle schooler.

A holographic demon emerged from thin air, taking me by surprise, and I wedged myself against the wall as I let out a small yelp.

"For your information, my goblin's adjust their strength to the level on the screen," the boy grinned, the air of superiority never seeming to leave. "That okay with you?"

"It wouldn't matter if we cared anyways," I snapped, prompting Yusuke's snorted laughter.

The little boy glanced over to me, still holding an air of superiority over us all. I had a mind to go over and lean him over my knee to give him a spanking he so rightfully deserved. And that air of superiority? Did he even know who my father was? I was sure my father wiped his ass with this boy's petty belongings.

Hiei, who was standing only a few feet away from me, slunk down to the ground, not wanting to waste time standing as we wasted time playing the little boy's game.

"Mitarai, long time no see," Amanuma spoke to our new companion as he approached the hologram. "Sensui was right, you're a traitor."

The word struck my heart, sending a sharp pain throughout my chest as my legs went limp. Only minutes ago had I joked about betraying them. But that's what I was: a traitor.

I was a traitor.

Unable to keep myself steady, I helped myself to the ground, next to Hiei, before I collapsed and drew a scene.

"Unless, of course, you're just pretending to befriend them so you can turn on them in the end," Amanuma grinned to himself, but Mitarai tried his best to ignore the younger boy.

I, on the other hand, was taking those words to heart as if he was talking directly to me.

"Satomi," Genkai's voice drew me from the pain that had now crawled into my stomach.

I tried wiping the fear from my face before turning to see her, but it hadn't worked.

"Get started on stalling that tunnel."

"I can't... I'm in a territory," I croaked. "I can't do anything in here."

Genkai eyed me for a few seconds before turning back to the screen to watch Mitarai's game. Kurama side glanced to me, wondering why my voice broke, but I shook my head at him, begging him silently to not question me. I was hoping he'd only figure I was beginning a mental breakdown from the situation with Sensui.

"Yusuke, do you think we can trust—" my heart stopped as Hiei asked the question. "Mitarai."

I about passed out from anxiety as he finished the sentence, and relief flooded through me.

Yusuke, casual with his hands in his pockets, watched as Mitarai began his tennis game, "...Yeah."

He placed so much trust in us, and I had a feeling I was no exception. Yet here I was, backstabbing them. The room began spinning as I was clouded with guilt, and I leaned over, ready to projectile vomit.

_You don't even have the courage to betray us_.

Oh my god, Hiei, please go the fuck away. Do not do this right now.

_I'm going to projectile vomit all over you, I swear. Please either kill me or leave me alone._

And for once, he obliged my request. I felt his eyes on me as I steadied my breathing, composing myself as Mitarai played tennis on the large screened TV. The two of us sat in silence as Amanuma harassed Mitarai, egging at him for what he knew about the older boy.

"Shut the hell up, brat!" Yusuke spat at the game master as he verbally harassed Mitarai again.

"Sensui told me you were rejected by the others because you were weak, exactly the opposite of me," the little boy taunted, obviously knowing intimate information about Mitarai that I hadn't been able to retrieve earlier.

I was willing to bet my father's fortune this little shit had no friends.

"It was true I stayed away from others, but that was because they were too stupid."

I called it. No friends. Who wants to cough up all that dough?

"Don't you think we're complete opposites?" Amanuma grinned as he eyed Mitarai.

But the older boy did a swell job of sucking up his feelings and playing the game to win.

And, almost in sync with the virtual tennis ball, my mind darted back and forth between my two choices, my ultimatum.

Yusuke and Kurama exchanged commentary and ideas briefly in the event of Mitarai losing, but with each electronic sounding from the TV every two minutes, he seemed to be doing fine. Amanuma's taunts died out from boredom and there was a heavy silence in the room.

The type of silence where you're certain everyone can hear your thoughts. And my stomach churned again as Mitarai scored another point.

Why did I care about being considered a traitor?

Because I cared about them.

But was that care strong enough to sway me into helping them?

Sway me away from everything I'd witnessed?

... No.

... I didn't know.

_Normally I'm entertained by your emotional bits, so long as you're not crying. It usually gets obnoxious at that point, but now you've become obnoxious while not crying._

His voice was beginning to grate on my nerves.

_Oh, my god. Please just fucking kill me or shut up. Seriously. I'm so tired of you._

_You've proven capable to try and kill yourself before, why do you need me?_

I glared over to the fucking little midget I sat next to, seeing his satisfied grin.

_Oh, I'm so sorry, Hiei. What can I possibly think about to entertain you in this crucial time?_

_You bounce back and forth between the two choices, but with little arguments on each side. Your thinking is black and white, you're not putting much thought into making your decision._

About to snap back, I paused and let my jaw fall open as I processed his words.

_You're focusing on what you've seen, which is valid, _he continued. _But you're overlooking the spectrum of how beings act._

He was... Was this his way of saying...?

_You have two arguments, people are bad, but then, not everyone is, _he turned his gaze from me to the screen on TV, where Mitarai was close to winning. _Too little an 's no way to make a decision that has drastic repercussions._

Mind racing with incoherent, jumbled thoughts as I stared at the fire demon in front of me. The vindictive, cold-hearted demon. He was willing to help me come to a decision, one or the other.

_If I come to the wrong decision, promise me you'll cut my head clean off, _I planted my palm on the cold steel floor as I leaned closer to him.

Inhuman red eyes met mine as the victory tune sounded around the room, followed by Yusuke's chorus of praise to Mitarai.

"Amanuma," Mitarai's voice carried to me as he stepped away from the little podium to return to the group. "You're right, I was weak and I wasn't brave enough to face them."

_You know I will, _I'd never been more happy to hear his blunt response.

I was going to seek answers and possibly solace in the very boy, the fire demon, that held himself to a higher standard than us humans.

I could only hope he could steer me in the right direction.


	33. Wake Her Up

**A/N: **Sorry it took so long for this chapter to get out. I don't know why but I was struggling with this chapter, and you'll see it shows. I'm not sure when the next one is coming out, since I've got a lot of revising to do from here on in further chapters. Also, fall semester's starting soon. Lordy, lordy, I have my noose ready in the closet.

If it makes up for anything, I went back and revised from chapter one up to, I think, fourteen. I just fixed all the writing, making it less choppy and whatnot. Not much has changed plotwise, though the first two or three chapters have a bit more content.

* * *

The steel walls were bright, reflecting the faux light of the territory and the TV screen... maybe it was just bright because I had stared so long, everything became out of focus.

I scooted myself closer to Hiei as the slot rolled once again. Unable to pull my knees to my chest from the heels and the position it'd put me in, I sprawled my legs out in front of me and waited patiently to see who would play next.

_Shooting, battle helicopter, level six. _

"I can beat a level six demon at this game," Genkai's voice drawled about the room as another holographic demon appeared.

The old bat had a lot up her sleeve, and though I despised the old sack of skin now, I had confidence in her. Just as everyone else had.

"Each player has three lives," Amanuma directed. "First person to lose all three lives fails."

"That seems pretty logical," I scoffed under my breath. "No, you have three lives but when you lose the second, you're out."

My unnecessary, quiet comments went unnoticed as Genkai began her battle against the holograph.

"So, why did you decide to come down here?" I whispered, leaning over a bit to see his face clearly.

He'd been ignoring the game, almost seeming to try falling asleep, and his eyes opened as I realized I may have leaned a bit too close for comfort. So I slunk back and waited for his answer.

Involuntarily, I found images passing through my mind. I realized instantly this mental connection was a two-way street, he could see every subconscious thought that passed through my head at any given moment, just as I could him. Though it was rare, and the first time I'd experienced it... he must have had control.

The images continued. Yusuke, who was shirtless and battered, throwing his fist straight for—at least what I felt was—my face. The images repeated momentarily, and I soon realized I was watching Hiei scuffling with Yusuke before they arrived here.

Blurry, out of sync with his mouth, was Yusuke's offer, "Don't you want the video tape?"

"Are you serious?!" I hissed, shoving my face into his. "That's why you're here?!"

I had gotten the attention of Yusuke and Mitarai, who quickly turned around as I glared over to them, furious at Hiei.

So he doesn't even care? Then who did he even think he was, trying to give me advice?!

He tilted his head towards me, eyes downcast in almost a smug attitude.

Unless...

That's just a part of it, an incentive.

_Alright, _I knew the mental connection was still open. I'd learned a feeling of intrusion was always present when so, _Mister Know-It-All, answer me this. _

Static-felt explosions rang out from the stereos as I tried wording my question the way I could muster it best, _Does a persons good deeds outweigh their bad? _

I wasn't sure why I thought he'd be able to help, as he felt unworthy to even tell Yukina about being her brother, all because of his own actions. But, maybe there were so many bad, the good didn't matter anymore.

As the victory tone rang throughout the territory, bouncing off the steel walls, I watched as Genkai chopped her hand through the holographic demon, cutting him in half. She'd won the second battle.

An air of silence clouded us as I waited for them to roll the slots once more, and the slot clicked into place, one after the other.

_Puzzle, battle block, level ten. _

"Yanagisawa," Kurama addressed the tall haired boy, whose jaw gaped at the proposal.

"Me? But I'm not good at puzzle games!"

"You can use your copy," Kurama hushed almost, keeping his voice down slightly as Yanagisawa understood what he was doing.

And as Yanagisawa morphed into Kaito and stepped up to the game podium, it was obvious they would win soon.

_It's all in context, _his voice perked me up, causing me to sit up erect from my slouching position.

Context.

_Okay, _I replied. _My grandfather's a World War two vet. Lost both his legs in war to help save millions of people and liberate Europe. But he's a racist, sexist dirt bag. Does his good deed outweigh the others? _

Silence again, and I inhaled deep as I turned back to watch Yanagisawa, in Kaito's form, win the third round effortlessly.

"Three wins and no losses!" Yusuke cheered as Yanagisawa returned to the group and changed back into his original body. "Just one more win and we're good to go."

_Yes. _

_Now I know you're fucking with me, _I sighed, turning to meet him as they continued their games. _Why is that acceptable? It's not. Nobody owes you anything._

_If he saved their lives, they owe him._

_No, I swear you're fucking with me on that one. I swear it. Even you're not a piece of shit like that. _

I swung my balled fist into his arm, and he didn't even flinch. In fact, I was the one in pain. A hot pang shot into my hand and traveled to my wrist, shaking my palm, and I seethed and clutched my hand in resentment.

I could see him holding back the curving of the corner of his lips, trying to hide his amusement in my ignorance and pain.

_So, let's entertain the fact that you believe the crap you just told me, _I sucked my teeth as I clutched onto my hand, shifting my weight on the wall. _His good deeds allow him to be evil?_

_Like I said before, it's all in context._

_So, what? You're saying that there are times when it's okay to be evil because you did something nice._

_Yes._

No, he had to be jerking me off here.

The rolling of the slots pulled my from Hiei, and I waited patiently as the next round was decided.

_Puzzle, general knowledge, level six. _

"We just need one more win!" Yusuke cheered, hellbent. "Go get'em, Kaito."

"Looks like it's my turn!" Amanuma said, cheerfully, as he took off his little outfit.

His school uniform was on underneath.

_Why? _He had pulling my leg so fucking hard, I couldn't even fathom why he thought it was okay to say that to me. _Why does that make it okay? _

Ignored, again, I exhaled deeply through my nostrils and focused on the match.

"He seems confident," Kurama quietly addressed Mitarai. "Do you know anything about his territory?"

"Actually..." the boy sighed in dismay. "This is the first time I've been inside. All I know is that he turns a game into reality, so now, we're fighting inside this game's world."

Then what happens if they lose?

_You tell me, _his voice echoed in the corner of my mind again.

_Tell you what? _

_Why context makes it okay._

_It doesn't._

_And why is that? _

I couldn't help but roll my eyes in irritation.

"First one to buzz in gets to answer," Amanuma explained as Kaito stepped up to the game podium. "First to ten wins. Wrong answers don't count against you but if you get three wrong, you lose."

_Just because you've done good deeds doesn't mean you can treat everyone like shit. Kind'a cancels out the good deed bit. _

"He's just standing there," Yusuke grumbled, catching my attention.

Amanuma was relaxed with a trick up his sleeve, "I'm going to let you get a head start."

"I don't need one," Kaito shoved his glasses to the bridge of his nose. "But whatever."

The computer began voicing the question, "The amaz—"

Kaito's hand slapped the buzzer for the answer, taking us all by surprise by landing the correct answer with only seven words.

"What—" I realized now Yusuke was pretty much my vocalized thought process.

"There are 17,000 questions for general knowledge," Kaito quickly explained. "Out of them, only three have to do with the Amazon."

"There's over 30,000 questions..." Yanagisawa gulped.

And this was a human, a regular human... Might as well cash in for a regular university when up against him.

Goodbye, Harvard. You were a lovely dream.

"I told you I didn't need a head start," Kaito's stare never left the screen, but Amanuma didn't care about Kaito's showing off.

"The second one's coming up."

_Sounds familiar, doesn't it, _I turned to Hiei as he addressed me, resting my face in my hands.

_Yeah, my grandfather._

_No, you. _

Taken back, I shook my head to try to process his train of thought. Was he comparing me to Sensui? It sure as hell wasn't my grandfather.

_Yeah, I don't have some savior complex where I feel the need to eradicate everyone for their sins—_

Hiei turned to me, deadpanned and skeptical, and I let out a nervous giggle.

_Okay, so I do... _My eyes drifted to the floor. _But it's not like I think I'm any better than humans. I'm just as disgusting._

_It's all the same, you feel you're doing a good deed, what you feel is right. You feel you're fulfilling an obligation that had never been followed through with, when it should have._

_And that's a bad thing? _

"He was right?!" Yusuke's complaints drew our attention to the match, before Hiei could answer. But in the pit of my stomach, I already knew the answer. "He knew the answer before he even saw the question!"

Eh?

"Unreal," Kaito mumbled, almost envious. "You've memorized the game, right down to the order of the questions."

"Not quite!" Amanuma sang, proudly waving his index finger around. "The order isn't set in stone, but it's not random either. It takes about five questions to figure out the order it'll take."

"Satomi!" Yusuke flared in anger, turning to see me. "Read this little shit's mind! Tell us the order."

"Thoughts that are constant," I reminded him. I could only look more bitchy if I was chewing gum nonchalantly. "If the thought passes by right when he slaps the answer down, there's no point in reading his mind."

"Damn this brat," Yusuke grumbled, turning back to the match.

And, sadly, within seventeen more questions, Kaito lost. Even though in the end, for me, it wouldn't have mattered... The obnoxious, electronic ringtone that signaled the game over got to me as well as it echoed around us, seemingly bouncing off the steel walls.

"Good match, though," Amanuma giggled, and it struck me odd, just as I saw Kurama shift as well, along with Kaito, in surprise. "Let's play again some day."

Some day?

Did this kid even understand what he was doing?

In a few hours, there wouldn't be another day to play games. The world would become hell for all humans, including him.

"Shit, we lost!" Yusuke grumbled, but his thoughts quickly turned elsewhere, having fully understood the concept of territories. "Wait, why's nothing happening to Kaito? What happens when we lose?"

Kurama shifted slightly, eyes cast upon Amanuma as he calculated the options.

"I hadn't even thought about what would happen since we were all winning at first," Yusuke mumbled. "Kaito's fine..."

"Kaito, are you sure you're okay?" Kurama asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied. "I expected something like my power, where you lose your soul, or I guess this time, your life."

"That must mean..."

"You figured it out?" Yusuke breathed a sigh of relief.

"If we lose, we'll be fine," he replied. "If we give up, we die."

"_What?!_"

It was apart of the game. His game brought territories to life. Leave it to Brains over there to figure that out.

"If you die in the game, you get the option to play again, or quit," Kurama continued. "If you continue, you play again. If you quit, the screen shows the player's grave."

It had now just occurred to me that a thousand year-old demon played video games, and despite the fact that I honestly should have delved into the mind of that little boy who obviously had no idea what he was doing, all I could muster was suppressed snorting.

"So... we've wasted time," Yusuke mumbled, and his anger unleashed. "We've wasted two hours!"

"He hasn't been trying to kill us, only stall for time," Kurama sighed.

"Bingo!" Amanuma's voice carried over the slot rolling. "So, let's play again, because you're here until the tunnel opens. Once I lose, I'll turn off my territory and let you all go."

This kid didn't think things through much, if it was that easy...

"There's gotta be a way around this," Yanagisawa chirped in fear.

"No, the only way to finish this is to beat him in the game," I thought Hiei had only been talking to me, though everyone turned to us. He'd spoken aloud. "I'd been trying to generate some fire, but it hasn't worked. I'd say his power works like Kaito's, you can't break the rules."

He'd been concentrating on something all the while our mental connection was open? Why couldn't I tell? Mental connection was supposed to be a two-way street.

"Dammit," Yusuke turned to Kurama. "You think you can beat him?"

_If I wasn't able to control my thoughts while pushing myself into the mind of another, I would have been found out by many of my opponents long ago. _

Taking a loose strand of hair, I tucked it behind my ear, _Have I been able to?  
_

He smirked as he looked over to me, _You're nowhere near as talented._

_You've been _so_ supportive. Like a father to me. _

But that sarcastic sentence hit a nerve for me more than it had for him.

He paused before asking, almost as if he was wary of bringing it up,_ Is your father here?_

_No... I didn't feel anything familiar in the cave, all I felt was—_

"I'm not sure," Kurama finally replied, dragging our attention away from each other. "I'm honestly worried what will happen if I win against him. I don't think he understands the full extent to his power."

Previous conversation gone, I turned back to Hiei, _What does he mean?_

_Sensui's using the boy. I'm surprised you haven't picked up on that. _

I was honestly more shocked than I should have been, a lump having formed in my throat, _Why would I have known? He's not thinking about it, he doesn't know, so I wouldn't either._

_You should know, since your desire to complete his plan is lodged in your head._

_What? _It was borderline offensive now—but why? Why did I suddenly care?

_To agree with him, you think like him. Would you not use someone to complete this plan?_

_No, why would I? I only need myself in the end._

_You could execute this plan without the help of others?_

_Well... no, but—_

_You couldn't. You are not only incompetent, but your morals won't let you. _

What I'd over looked the whole time, I was a complete idiot.

_You're fighting over yourself, pushing yourself to throw away your morals, _he continued, nodding to the slot machine.

And the decision appeared, though I couldn't comprehend the game instructions for long.

_Puzzle, "three sevens", level six. _

No, there was more to his argument than that.

_I'm pushing them away because nobody else has them. Nobody else treats others the way they should. They never have._

_Hm._

"What's that game?" Yanagisawa whispered as Kurama made his way to the podium.

"It's like tetris," Kaito explained quickly. "Except the number system plays into it, you have to make the blocks equal seven."

"Amanuma," Kurama addressed the little boy as he stepped up. "Did Sensui ask you to play this game?"

"Yeah!" He grinned. "He said this is a good game for a showdown, and plus I'm really good at it."

"Do you understand what he's trying to accomplish?"

Even I tried focusing on their conversation, swallowing the lump that'd grown in my throat.

"All the demons are coming through that tunnel and are going to mess up Earth, right? Sounds cool," he shrugged. "Plus, no school! But I'm not worried because as long as I have my territory I'll be fine."

"If you lose, you die," Kurama aired the truth, and the shift in the atmosphere was prominent.

Even I felt a strong disgust writhing around in my lower stomach.

Perhaps it was just that apple...

"Are you trying to scare me?" Amanuma's voice shook. "I'm not that dumb, to believe you."

Hiei's words forced my lips into a pursed line as Kurama finished his notings, "Amanuma, Sensui is sacrificing you to achieve his goal."

With a deep, guilt-ridden breath, I swallowed the lump in my throat as the screen announced the game to start.

"That's unfair," Yusuke cursed, caring for his enemy even now. "We get unlimited plays, but Amanuma dies if he loses once."

"Sensui probably knew we'd figure it out, and thought we may not be able to bring ourselves to win against him," Genkai replied.

_Yet even you feel sorrow for the boy up there, _Hiei said.

_Well... it's not like he knew what he was getting himself into..._

_You're impulsive, like your mother, _he noted. _Though with time you began to think about your actions, and realized that what you're doing isn't what you feel is right._

_If I didn't feel it was at least somewhat right I wouldn't even be bothering to debate on it. _

Amanuma, now shocked and scared, showing his true age, fumbled about with the joystick. Even from here, we could hear his small mumbles, asking himself if Sensui had actually set him up as a sacrifice.

_So you want to be as strong minded as Sensui? _

Confused, I turned to view Hiei, _What? Where are these curve balls coming from? No..._

_That's your goal, that's what you're trying to achieve by debating and pushing your morals aside. You want to be able to complete what you felt so strongly about. By pushing aside your morals, you've convinced yourself you can effectively pursue your goal. _

But what stuck me in face, a hard dealt blow, was the reality that he was right.

_You're a good person, and you want change. Now, you have your chance, _harsh red eyes turned to meet mine, and I could feel the corner of my lips curving downwards as I suppressed a frown. _Are you willing to throw away your morals to go about it like this?_


	34. Rainbowarriors

I shuffled at his words, adjusting myself to sit upright, doing anything to keep from saying anything. The cold steel around me had begun to warm from my body heat, making sitting on the cold floor easier as I continued to shift around uneasily regardless how cold it was to begin with.

Luckily, Kurama had pointed out Amanuma's fate, which caused a good enough disturbance to distract both me and Hiei from our conversation, even if it would only be briefly.

"Wait, I thought he wasn't trying to kill us! Why would he go and give up his life?" Yusuke snapped, disgusted at how far Sensui had gone to manipulate a young boy.

The large revelation of this made the room become suddenly smaller. Whether my mind had begun to turn this revelation into a physical notice or it was all a coincidence, I wasn't sure.

"You're right, Yusuke," Kurama nodded, keeping his gaze on Amanuma. "Sensui's using you to achieve his goal."

Strangely, as if Sensui's original plan wasn't already bad enough, this act of manipulation and sacrifice was the last straw. It was as if they both cared about their enemies, regardless of the fact they were fighting for different outcomes...

Amanuma, frozen and scared, jumped at the electronic announcement of the game starting. Arms shaking, wrist limp, he set his palm on the joystick to begin, and Kurama soon followed his lead with the sound effects tuning about softly in the background.

_Don't try and deny the fact that we're having this conversation, _Hiei's voice was completely unappealing now. _You got yourself pushed down here, now you have a decision to make._

_Denial's how I handle things, if you haven't noticed, _yet there I was, continuing to deny having the conversation. Holding my balled fist up, I let out my index finger, _I denied that I even kissed you__—wow,_ that___ was a mistake. _

I suppressed a snort as I continued, holding out my middle finger, _I denied that the tunnel even existed or that I could help._

The last large denial caused my stomach to churn, as if it'd suddenly become an Olympic gymnast or something, _and I denied that I was apart of why Satoshi killed himself. So yeah, denial's how I handle things. I'm trying right now, but repressing and avoiding things, which I've done all my life, isn't going to suddenly stop out of the blue._

_Grow up._

My jaw hung open as I turned to view Hiei, who kept his gaze on the large screen in front of us.

_The world doesn't revolve around you, it doesn't stop to give you time to you figure things out, _he continued. _If you weren't drowning in denial and shaped up over the past year, this race against time wouldn't even be necessary. _

"Oh, _hell_ no," I snapped out loud, drawing eyes over towards us. I lifted my palm out in front of them as I kept my gaze on Hiei while I all but foamed at the mouth, "Doesn't concern you."

_You are _not_ going to pin this on me, _I growled. _You could have helped us find Sensui with your Jagan, which has a lot more range of location than my abilities do. You know, we probably could have avoided this whole mess if you helped out in the beginning. I am _not_ taking the fall for this. _

_I chose neutrality, _he responded calmly. _I chose to not involve myself in this due to personal feelings. You chose to not involve yourself because you were scared._

_So being scared isn't a personal feeling? Why is it that I'm getting thrown around a room for being scared but when you choose not to help out, nobody bats a fucking eye?_

_Maybe they expected better from you._

Low blow.

"Amanuma's blocks are piling up," Yanagisawa mumbled to Kaito.

"He's scared, Minamino really shook him up," Kaito responded.

_Personal feelings can be dangerous when not thought through_, he spoke again after a moment of silence from watching Amanuma trying to compose himself while clear his blocks.

"Hey," Amanuma squeaked like his balls had just dropped. "There's a way we can fix this, right?"

Scared witless, Amanuma managed a hopeful smile as beads of sweat collected on his forehead. Kurama remained calm and collected, focusing most of his attention on the screen, maneuvering the blocks around easily to make them disappear upon landing.

"Can you end the game right now?" Kurama asked, monotone.

"No... if I'm really the guy from the game," Amanuma whipped his attention back and forth between Kurama and the screen. "Then I lose either way!"

The moment of silence from Kurama had to feel like an eternity for Amanuma, but he was crushed when Kurama finally replied, "I don't intend to lose."

_But personal feelings are often pushed aside when asked to do what's necessary, _Hiei continued as I felt the pang of sadness in my chest.

Paging Therapist Hiei.

But Kurama's continuing, his harsh words, only made me feel worse for trying to turn sarcasm into a new form of defense.

"You knew what Sensui's plan was, it's as much your fault as it is his."

"But, I didn't think it'd be like this!" Amanuma's voice broke as his face wet with tears. "I... I don't want to die."

But, as a horrible joke, the electronic buzzing sounded throughout the metal room, signaling Amanuma's loss. With high-pitched sound effects, across the large screen came up the written announcement of game over.

And with the verbal announcement of the loss, Amanuma shut down, "The game master loses!"

At first, I thought he had reacted how I would: shut down, fall into himself and cut off all and any form of contact. But when his body fell limp and lost composure and balance, hitting the now rock floor of the cave's tunnel, Hiei's sentence dealt a low blow to my stomach.

Heavy air settled around us as the territory disappeared, and I was the only one that had to hold back the choking hiccups that would have only induced a fit of sobs. Despite the darkness having returned and irises still adjusting to the lack of light, we all somehow knew where Amanuma's body had fallen.

Hiei rose from where he sat as Yusuke made his way gingerly towards Kurama, gently reaching out a hand to take hold of his friend's shoulder, "Hey, man..."

I waited patiently for reassurance, that the Kurama I knew would return, calm and composed with this pushed into the back of his mind to deal with another time where his full attention wasn't required. Yusuke, who stood in front of my view of Kurama, flinched back from him only a few seconds later with a gasp chocked in his throat.

Having caught my attention, I was curious as to what Yusuke had seen, as the shadows lingered over Kurama's facial structure.

"Let's go," his voice curt and low, unlike any tone I'd heard from him before. "Sensui's up ahead."

Though just for a split second, I was reminded that I continued to learn more about the boy I considered to be my closest friend. And with each new turn, I wasn't sure if I ever really knew him to begin with.

As I reached up behind me to lift myself off the ground, using the rocky wall as leverage, my shoulder jerked around and sent a shiver down my spine that was usually appealing, but now only shook my nerves up to feel even worse.

Hiei's voice returned as my stomach flipped around inside me, _Join us when you choose, and prepare for the outcome. _

The outcome.

Staring down at Amanuma's body as my eyes adjusted, their footsteps dragged away down the tunnel, while only Genkai and the two boys remained behind with me.

"Well?" Genkai's voice faded out as I took in the reality of Amanuma's life... and death. "Get moving, girl."

I figured if I kept my gaze on him, she wouldn't press me as hard.

Kurama made a decision he wasn't happy with, but was necessary.

Sluggish, my head felt heavy as I turned to watch the four figures retreating in the darkness further down the cave. Each of them had a reason to continue, whether it was the conviction that people deserved to live and be given another chance, or because there were good people in the world that didn't deserve the fate caused by those who have done wrong.

Even the little shitbag of anger was here helping, as he'd chosen what was necessary.

"Get as close as you can to the tunnel," Genkai ordered. "I'm sure you know what you have to do."

And even if I felt a contempt for humans as a whole, there were those who didn't deserve this fate. I could deal with them on my own, in my own way. It was all in context... after all.

If they could care about their own enemies, and the few good people in the world, then I could as well.

Legs heavy and knees weak, I composed myself before I even bothered to set foot deeper into the cave, knowing I'd only fall over at this point. Inhaling deep, I puffed my chest out while I gathered courage and held my breath.

Because I knew. Instincts continued to form as I grew closer to the tunnel.

Exhaling, I turned on the thin heels and kept myself as calm as possible as I jogged after the boys. Yusuke perked up slightly as he heard my shoes echoing on the uneven ground, and turned to find me closing in on them.

"You think you can close this tunnel?" His soft grin wasn't as eager as his voice was trying to play off.

"I can stall it," I slowed down behind Hiei. "There's no way I can close it. So you gotta take this guy out as soon as possible."

"No problem," Yusuke turned away as he replied, his voice growling out.

And the walk was silent with the narrowing of the tunnel as we ventured in deeper. The minutes that passed by seemed fleeting with the air around me thickening with the energy and strange atmosphere. The silence among us with the same malicious and livid thoughts only brought about a tension that became increasingly uncomfortable with each passing half hour.

Because as I got closer, the instincts continued to flood in, stronger, with a vengeance. Every so often, the silence was broken by Mitarai, who would give directions. But everything went in one ear and out the other as I shuffled along, staring at everyone's feet. I was preoccupied with a known unknown.

I had a sudden understanding—of what, though, I couldn't place. A blank epiphany.

The feeling lingered in the pit of my stomach and gnawed at my frontal lobe, and I frantically pondered on the feeling for the duration of the walk until Kurama's observation woke me up.

"It's getting hot in here," his observation prompted everyone else's acknowledgement.

"You're right, I'm sweating like a pig," Yusuke mumbled as he wiped little beads of sweat off his jawline with the back of his hand.

"It's about fifty meters ahead," Mitarai stopped, using his sleeve to wipe off his forehead. "That's where they all are."

I stopped behind Hiei, finding the opening to a clearing in the cave, light spilling out on the rocky walls. A false sense of hope. Coming up to the edge of the opening, the boys stopped, and I stood my distance behind them in the darkness of the tunnel, waiting.

A muffled cry came out from the opening, a familiar sound of Kuwabara.

His muffled butcher of Yusuke's name was almost a comedic relief for the moment, as he tried shouting out, "Huhuke!"

"Kuwabara!" Yusuke's cry sounded perfect, crystal clear, in comparison.

"I'm glad you could make it," I'd never heard his voice before, but it fit the face of Sensui, when I'd saw him a few days ago from the park bench, despite being unable to see him now.

But I wasn't given time to take in the conversation, as pressure was planted on my arm, forcing me into the cave wall I stood next to. The sudden blow, mixed with my surprise, winded me. I gasped for air as my eyes darted around to find out what had happened.

In front of me was Hiei, _Stay in this tunnel. Don't even bother going out there._

_I can't exactly fix a tunnel from a hundred meters away. _

An exaggeration wasn't helping my point but...

_You wandering around out there is only going to put us in a bind. Use that head of yours and stay in the tunnel where none of us have to jump to your rescue._

_Geez, just let me die already._

_When you can't do anything about that tunnel, jump in front of one of us and take the hit._

Inhaling deep, I mustered up some courage and ignored his prodding, _Look... don't bother worrying about me, what happens to me happens._

_Ha_, a tight smirk appeared briefly as he looked up at me. _There's a sudden bout of courage I didn't think you had._

I never expected to get a compliment from him, and I still couldn't tell if it was one, but I was trying my damned hardest to suppress the grin of pride that was growing on my face,_ This is my only chance to show up your expectations of me, so I'm going to use it. Now leave me be and let me try to stall that tunnel. _

His grip softened, and my back lifted slightly from the jagged wall as his smirk disappeared, _Just do what your supposed to, don't be a hero. _

Jokingly, as he retrieved his hand and returned to stand with his comrades, I mustered up a lame attempt at a joke, _I'll kill myself to be the hero tonight._

And the lingering in my stomach disappeared as Sensui began his drawl about the movie he was watching, which was emitting faint drabbles of conversations, little murmurs that merely sounded like static from afar.

From my angle, I was given a clear view of the tunnel, and from this distance I could see the large crack holding the barrier in place. Pulsating, threatening to break. Understanding sunk in.

"Itsuki's standing..." Mitarai's whisper, for the strangest reason, brought me back with cold fear as I understood what Genkai meant. "He usually just sits there, but he's leaving... and leaving Kuwabara."

"I no longer need to do anything to the tunnel," Itsuki's voice bounced off the cave's walls, drawing slightly closer. "It'll open on its own, even I can't stop it."

I suppressed the fear, only choking on my gasp in the process.

A sharp crack echoed in the cave, and the cries of demons poured through, almost forcing me to faint, but they were still held back as they cried out, "Human meat, it's been so long!"

Inhaling deep once more, I held my breath, calming sorting out the reality of my personal situation while Sensui drawled on about the tunnel and the demons behind it.

But all I could remember was Genkai's bitching during her abrasive 'training', _"Their obligation was to close tunnels, it was their sole duty in life. We thought they died out, considering what they were known for." _

Sole duty in life—it was their life.

Religious sacrificing—not of animals, not imolation of a group of people—of themselves.

"Shut the fuck up already!" Yusuke's loud mouth didn't hold me for long. "You're just talkin' trash."

The religious sacrificing often protected the land or would rid it of disease, war, or famine, or could grant the performer a splurge of power. At the time, it must have been believed that gods granted them relief from their sacrificing, though in reality...

If sacrificing themself, it enhanced their abilities in their purest form: the soul.

I tugged on the sleeve of my blazer as I calmed my breathing, steadying myself.

"Defeat Makihara and I'll free Kuwabara," Sensui's offer passed by me briefly as I tried breaking my concentration, but the instincts continued as their conversations dragged on without me.

Souls, when released from the confines of a body, were powerful and able to control energy around them freely, as the body was merely a shell that trapped energy and potential from becoming used. But free souls were forced to leave, obliged to return to the Spirit World for their time of judgment and their sentencing.

"Back off, Yusuke," Kurama's command was faint, hollow, as it passed by me. "I'll kill him."

Legs numb and knees weak, I set my palm on the rocky wall beside me as I lowered myself to the ground. I could feel the heels scuffing slightly as I crossed my legs, straightening my back while resting my wrists on my knees, leaving my hands limp.

But Yusuke's gasp of surprise proved concentration difficult. With the new view, I had a clear shot of the top Makihara's head flying clean off.

"What... what happened? I didn't even see anything..." Mitarai mumbled next to me.

"Drop the act, you're not fooling anyone," Kurama was turning into the man who I never knew... "Get up, Toguro. The foul stench could only come from you."

Unable to calm myself, my body was shaking as everything poured in at once—confusion, instincts, the tunnel, energy...

Coarse, high-pitched laughter sounded about from the headless body. At that point, I shook my head and closed my eyes tight, hoping to focus on only one thing at a time.

"Not too shabby," a shrill voice spoke, and I tried my hardest to block everything out again. "Your nose has gotten sharper."

Calming, steady breaths.

The energy released from the body and manipulated by the soul had to be continuous, everlasting. Something without life to allow the soul to harbor and manipulate energy around them was necessary to continue the ritual—a merging.

Personal feelings were set aside to deal with what was necessary, and if worse came to worst, if they failed to take down Sensui or I couldn't stall it...

I would have to complete the ritual.

To close the tunnel, I'd have to sacrifice myself and release my soul, effectively sealing myself into the rocky walls of the cave.


	35. The Apex

**A/N: **It's FINALLY ending soon! uwu If I've counted everything right, we'll be done in seven chapters.

* * *

I sat still, enveloped in the energy seeping around the cave. There was a crack in the tunnel, the last barrier that held back the C-class demons.

I had begun to hold it together, channeling the energy that seeped around the cave back towards the tunnel, forcing the crack to hold, trying to mend it, reattach it to the tunnel and force the crack to become smaller.

The crack was strong; holding it in place was a challenge. I couldn't force the tunnel closed but I could keep that barrier intact, I could keep the C-class demons inside.

I was determined to keep that barrier closed on my own, without the need to conduct the sacrificing.

The lower half of my face was drenched in blood, a seemingly endless stream of red liquid flowing out of my nose and dripping off my chin. I hunched forward to keep the blood from pouring onto my shirt.

Commotion ensued, breaking my concentration. A painful moaning echoed from the opening of the cave, dreadful and depressing, but I kept my attention on the energy in the room.

If I broke my concentration, the crack might break fully.

_"Why can't I kill you…"_

Well, if that wasn't a good way to start off a fight, I didn't know what was.

Auras appeared and disappeared, and though I was curious, I knew that if I broke concentration I'd end up having to start all over again.

The headache was excruciating, a sharp stabbing pain that stabbed multiple times in a secluded area and then moved to another. Every time a demon ran into the barrier in an attempt to break it, a sharp pain would spike, and more blood would trickle out of my nostrils.

The strain of this was overpowering. I was already having trouble manipulating the energy.

Mumbles of the boys and Sensui filtered through to me occasionally, but they were just that—murmurs. Distinguishable by a few, I could pick out Yusuke throwing around threats, making Sensui's calmer voice seem inaudible.

Kuwabara's voice, brand new in the environment, rang out clearly, "Some weird hand grabbed me and dragged me into some dark void and then—I was here!"

Eh?

Briefly, as auras disappeared completely and cries of surprise rang out, I opened my eyes curiously to see Yusuke being spat out of the ground, clumsily flying alone before dropping to the ground.

Underneath him, a large shadow on the ground moved about and crawled upon the rocky walls, taking the silhouette of a man—eyes and mouth visible and unshadowed.

Nope, nope, nope, I wasn't occupying myself with wondering about that physics-defying bullshit. Leave that to them.

I closed my eyes immediately to keep my concentration on the tunnel, pushing aside the reality that the rest of the boys could be harmed.

"After being a Spirit Detective long enough, you'll start rotting on the inside," Sensui's voice carried over to me.

And Yusuke, sadly, had no reply.

I had only channeled energy once, that was Genkai's little test in Yusuke's apartment. I should have gone to see her earlier... I didn't think I'd actually be here, though, trying to repair a crack in a barrier that separated the demon world from Earth.

I was such a coward.

Even with the rumbling and crashes of Yusuke and Sensui's brawl going about in front of me, all I could think about was how I could just get out of this situation.

"No one's been in more fights than me!" Yusuke boasted in confidence, his yelling had filtered through Sensui's calm taunts that murmured around me.

Yeah, Yusuke, that's something to be proud of.

With irregular, hitched breathing, I opened my eyes to look at the small crack in the barrier, and it was smaller than before. Maybe…

Maybe only by an inch, but that was something.

Rocks smashing, the sound of a hard collision brought my attention to my peripheral vision.

Yusuke had disappeared amidst the clouds of dust and debris of the broken dirt floor beneath Sensui.

No, I couldn't keep focusing on him.

Inhaling deep, the strong smell of iron and rust filled my lungs, courtesy of my ever dripping blood. Another stab of pain sprang into my temples as demons on the other side of the barrier attempted another breakthrough, and I all but sobbed in pain as I continued to channel around energy and feed it into the crack in the tunnel.

Though I was startled when a rain of explosions and a bountiful amount of spirit energy came down on the other side of the cave, I managed to concentrate and become used to the dangerous environment.

But only minutes later, Yusuke's loud voice broke my concentration again.

"_Did'ja predict this!?_"

I kept my focus on the energy around me and looked over to Yusuke's battle. With fast front-strokes, Yusuke was swimming around in the lake near the wooden boat, screaming out angered taunts.

"What's my next move gonna be now?!"

Are you serious, Yusuke?!

I shook my head to keep myself from falling into a pit of laughter, and closed my eyes as Yusuke got out of the water.

This boy was seriously something else, and I never really got the chance to know him.

My focus returned to the tunnel. The painful aspects of this channeling was the effects on my body: the excruciating head ache, the nose bleeds, and the stress on my lungs from the irregular breathing.

If I didn't find a way to kill myself, I'd probably just die of an aneurysm or something.

And over the course of time, with grumbles and hard collisions to the ground, whether by fist or face, I repaired the crack slightly more.

Despite the raging migraine, blood loss, and complete exhaustion, I was at least able to hold the crack in place. But my concentration faltered as an unfamiliar sound rang out in the cave.

I jumped up at the explosions, standing upright, surprised. Yusuke lay on the ground while Sensui walked over to him, his right hand cut off at the wrist, a strange...

A gun...?

"Goddammit," I mumbled as Sensui seemed to take on a completely new persona.

"You little fucker!" Sensui snapped, attention still on Yusuke. "I'm sick of your cocky ass! Piece a' shit."

Sensui could easily kill me; he just hadn't bothered with me because he was busy with Yusuke, and I wasn't a threat to him in the slightest. But with this new persona...

Sensui lifted Yusuke's body with his foot, and threw him into the air to slam his knee into the back of his bullet hole wounds. Yusuke's cries of pain had been an entirely new experience for me, as for some reason I thought he was just as invincible as the other boys...

Sensui lifted his gun-hand again, pointing it at Yusuke without much remorse, and I covered my ears and shut my eyes once more as more gunshots rang throughout the cave.

Though Yusuke wasn't dead, and Sensui was nowhere close to being finished.

But relief flooded through me as I felt Koenma's presence approaching me from behind, commanding Sensui to stop with a voice of stern authority.

Sensui sucked his teeth before chucking Yusuke across the cave, who was choking out words through blood filled lungs.

It was strange seeing him walking into the midst of battle, as he never put himself in danger and obviously sent Yusuke to do his work. Royal blue robes swayed past me as Koenma stepped towards Sensui, and I took advantage of the moment to multitask and search for Yusuke's body.

An opportunity to get closer to the tunnel and try to fix the barrier... I wiped the blood from my nose and mouth, and had to decide quickly. I was safer back here, but I would have a stronger flow energy to channel with when closer to the tunnel, when in a direct line of flowing energy.

When energy emitted from the tunnel, it dispersed around the cave, seeping out into the tunnels. That's why I had to channel and gather the energy around me. If I could stand in front of the tunnel in a direct line of energy, I could have a direct flow of energy coming at me that I could channel directly back at the tunnel and apply it towards the crack.

Lightheaded and dizzy, I quickly shed my blazer and kicked off my heals before making my way towards Yusuke. Coming up to his battered and bloodied body, I knelt over and checked his pulse as he continued to try and sit upright.

Blood was in his lungs... I tried thinking of how to get Yusuke to breathe.

Heimlich maneuver? No, that was when someone was choking.

What was it called? What did I have to do?

Damn, Satomi, you want to go into medicine but can't even remember what you're supposed to—

CPR!

"_You stupid girl, what the hell do you think you're doing walking out there_?"

Hiei's voice echoed in my head as I shoved Yusuke's body onto his back and tilted his head upwards.

I didn't want to reply; I was already out here and running out of time before he'd notice Yusuke would soon be rarin' to go again. He knew I was here, but I still didn't want to provoke him. He was unpredictable, especially since I couldn't read him.

Placing my clasped hands beneath Yusuke's diaphragm, applying pressure to his battered body, he soon retched upwards.

Coughing, he spewed blood all over my shirt, ruining the silk fabric that had cost so much money... I had spent so much time today trying to protect it from being ruined...

"That's my favorite silk shirt, you prick!" I squealed, instinctively ripping my shirt off in disgust.

"No 'I'm glad you're alive, Yusuke!'?" He continued to cough and steadied his body to stand up.

"Not anymore," I quickly grabbed the shirt by both ends and tried wrapping it around his neck.

I'd save Sensui the time and just kill him myself.

But his hands caught my wrists and I gave up instantly. Standing up straight, he kept his hands on my wrists and allowed himself to be helped up.

"Keep him distracted," I pushed past Yusuke as he steadied himself, and made my way closer to the body of water.

The boat Itsuki had sat on was directly in line with the tunnel. He probably sat there for the same reason I wanted to.

It wasn't until I stepped up to the edge of the water that I realized I'd forgotten to put my shirt back on.

Whatever, if I was going to kill myself today, I might as well look hot doing it.

"'Kay, we're done," Sensui's words confused me, and I turned around to face his new persona lifting the strange gun at Koenma. "And we all agreed, the next step is killin' you."

Koenma held up his pacific that usually had been shoved in his big mouth, and held a callous expression, as if it was a weapon that would save us all. But Yusuke quickly marched up to Koenma and slapped the binky out of his hand and into the air for the ebony haired boy to catch.

"Don't stand around talkin about me like I'm not here, you jerk!" Yusuke snapped. "I'm the one fighting! Geez, at least I got a second to rest."

"More like a second to ruin my shirt," I grumbled, taking my seat at the edge of the lake.

And as Koenma and Yusuke turned into five year olds, running about the cave to retrieve his binky, I looked up at the tunnel.

The crack had slipped open again since I hadn't been giving it my full concentration.

"Look, Sensui," Yusuke's voice still broke through, and I was about ready to smash my face into the floor as discipline to concentrate. "Whichever one of you said they don't care about the tunnel anymore felt the same way as me. I just wanna settle things between the two of us."

Who the fuck said that and when? Assholes!

"Then what the hell am I giving myself an aneurysm for?!" I screeched towards Sensui, whose back was now turned towards me.

"Satomi," Koenma snapped at me from across the cave. "Don't listen to that fool, just keep the barrier closed!"

Exhaling, with a whine following quickly after, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Since Sensui made no move towards me, I figured he knew I wasn't doing much to threaten the tunnel's growth anyways.

Manipulating the energy, using it to push the crack closed.

The tunnel was still growing, larger and larger, but I kept the barrier in tact because it was all I could muster.

And soon, a sharp pain formed in between my eyes, my nose began to bleed again. Reconstructing the crack, pushing it together again as the cave began to shake, I looked upwards, past the tunnel.

Chunks of rock were falling from the ceiling.

I leaned back, almost falling into the lake as I pulled my legs to my chest while a large rock crashed down a few feet in front of me.

A tremendous amount of energy formed, and I couldn't help but feel thankful as I found a golden light emitting from Sensui.

"Thank you," I smiled, feeling some blood drip from my chin onto my chest.

Paying with the foreign energy would be difficult, dangerous. If I even so much as slipped up and let my concentration down, the energy would merge into the tunnel, forcing it open more and break the barrier open.

But it was a chance I could take.

I channeled his energy, pushing it towards the crack. The sliver began to shrink instantly. The barrier strengthened as I continued to manipulate the energy.

Hell. Yeah.

The energy wasn't strong enough to erase the tunnel, but it was strong enough to help me keep the barrier in check, keep the demons of any level from escaping.

And despite the raging migraine and the severe loss of blood I was experiencing, I was able to keep it up for the duration of their fight. Having understood the possibility and consequences of not fully concentrating on the foreign energy, I was able to keep my mind focused and eyes closed... despite Yusuke's cries of pain.

And Sensui's relative silence and strange bouts of psychotic laughter.

Even when Yusuke was thrown over me, past the lake and into the wall, I was untouched and left to concentrate.

The violent shaking of the cave itself was a distraction, and the ceiling continued to collapse, sending down large boulders. Conveniently, I'd yet to have been harmed. It wasn't a problem until another bout of energy pushed me off my bottom, sending me rolling backwards into the lake behind me.

Sensui had unleashed another bout of energy, only this time...

I quickly reached the surface of the water, finding Koenma frozen in shock at the sight of the energy being unleashed by Sensui. He'd tried using his binky.

The only thing I could be thankful for, I thought as I lifted myself out of the water and returned to my post, was I had enough energy around me to possibly close it.

Possibly...

No.

The energy disappeared above, outside the cave from the massive hole it'd created. All the energy that had been trapped inside was now seeping away!

I couldn't keep the barrier closed without energy. That meant...

Fuck it. Even if keeping that tunnel closed wasn't I priority anymore, I had something to prove to myself.

"It's too early to quit!" Yusuke stepped beside Koenma, who was fallen in shame on his knees.

But how can I do it?

"Oh, right," Sensui nodded slightly, almost bored despite the entire cave seemingly about to crash down upon us. "I have to kill you to finish this, don't I?"

There we go.

A boulder.

My eyes briefly glanced over to Yusuke yards away across the cave, who, for some reason, had a similar idea as me.

Despite having never spoken to each other, rarely ever conversing, he nodded to me in acknowledgement.

"Let's go," I couldn't help but laugh as my eyes searched the ceiling for the closest boulder for me to dive underneath. "If I'm going out, I'm going out keeping that barrier up."

"Tell me why we never spoke to each other," Yusuke leaned over slightly, prepping himself for his last move with Sensui, despite the blood curdling cries that could be heard from Kuwabara from behind the shadow.

Kuwabara's screams for Yusuke to stop almost drowned out my own thought process.

"Dunno," I shrugged. "I mean, I feel it was a bad thing. You've got a heart of gold. Maybe you would have been the one to help me choose not to help open this tunnel."

My heart sunk as the words left my mouth without much thought, and maybe he hadn't heard me over the intense rumbling of the cave. It was really all I could hope.

At least I was about to kill myself, it wasn't like I'd have to live with the consequences of airing that dirty secret.

Fuck it, I hated this world, and every last shitstain on this planet was about to owe me _big time._

Closing my eyes, it felt in sync as I stayed underneath the oncoming, falling rain of boulders, and as Yusuke lunged towards Sensui.

Sharp collision, a piercing pain hit my skull, and no other pain came. Barely conscious, I realized I'd died on impact. The blow was so strong to my cranium that I'd been spared the excruciating pain of being crushed whole.

Kuwabara's voice and taunts faded slightly as he taunted Yusuke to return to life, to stop playing around. And his voice soon died out.

Rough, scratchy dirt brushed against my lower back... callous skin gripped around my bare waist.

Nerve endings... spirits didn't have nerve endings.

I hadn't died.

My eyes snapped open instantly, finding Hiei hovering over me, attention focused on Yusuke's lifeless body yards away.

I showed him what I had to do, didn't I? He was prying, right?

I wasn't able to sacrifice myself; I couldn't merge with the barrier. I failed.

Anger bubbled throughout my body as all feeling came back, my body having registered I was alive. Black lightning surged and crackled around us as he began summoning his pet from the tournament, but I didn't think twice as I lunged towards him.

"You asshole!" I snapped reaching over for his katana that was situated on his lower back.

I'd just fucking slit my throat, dying was all the same anyways.

I couldn't just go back to channeling energy. I'd stopped once, and because of that, as if in spite, the barrier broke loose.

The lightning had wrapped around my forearm, sizzling into my skin and spazzing my entire hand through electrocution.

"Fffffffffu-" I bit my lips as I held onto my singed forearm, rolling over to my side in a speed I never could have managed before.

I hadn't continued to channel the energy how I needed to, and it'd spread into the tunnel, giving it one last push, breaking the barrier. Swarms of demons horded out of the tunnel, and Hiei let go of my waist to step in front of me.

"Get out of here," he snapped, the imprint of a black dragon became prominent along his arm.

"I wouldn't have to do anything if you would've just let me off myself like I was supposed to!"

"No point in having two wasted deaths," Hiei lifted his right hand, enveloping it further in black flames and lightning.

Inhaling deep, trying to rid the pain in both my head and forearm, I stood up straight, legs weak and limp from shock, "Fine. I might be able to reconstructe the barrier around the tunnel if you get rid of them."

"You won't need to," he kept his back turned towards me, irritating me further, as if I was unworthy to be spoken to face-to-face.

This boy was a complete shit head, but I really did like him.

"Come back alive or I'll have Koenma send you to the worst level of hell."

That was romantic enough.

But no reply came, no shift in emotion or aura, as he was focused on only one thing. And I couldn't blame him.

Kurama was shifting into his demon form, red hair melting into a silvery white as he and Hiei lunged towards Sensui, Kuwabara following behind them soon after.

Really, after all this time, I was still unsure of our friendship, as I never met the demon Kurama was before he'd come to the human world as the boy I befriended. Strangely enough, it wasn't something that bothered me, but it was interesting to see his silver form, as I hadn't seen him since the tournament.

The black dragon from the Tournament appeared, exuding from Hiei's arm, and engulfed every demon in its path as it surged into the tunnel to continue its eradication. And as the horde disappeared, Sensui made his way into the tunnel, with the boys following soon after, forms becoming smaller as they descended into the darkness.

I waited until they all disappeared into the tunnel to begin constructing a barrier, keeping the next wave of C-class demons at bay.

"There will be another wave..." Koenma said dismally. "Soon, the stronger class of demons will come when they realize everything's clear."

"I'll keep what I can at bay for a while," I said as Mitarai picked up Koenma, helping him to his feet. "I'm not sure how much longer, though. Sensui's energy was what allowed me to keep it intact, now I just have the demon world's energy."

"Keep it up as long as you can, Satomi," Koenma said sadly. "It's useful, and Botan should have sent for help by now."

I looked over to him, his face long and drawn from sadness, anxiety, despair of Yusuke's death. I looked over to Yusuke's lifeless body and a feeling of sadness washed over me. I felt guilty, if I had just tried hard from the start, like he would have...

_If you'd have just done what you were told, he'd be alive._

_If you had gone to Genkai to practice, he'd be alive._

_Cowardly, selfish bitch._

I sighed, pushing away the voices from my head that had somehow slipped through.

I had almost forgotten my mental illness, but it was always there to remind me of its presence and my screw ups.

No, it wasn't my fault... right?

I ignored the voices taunts and welcomed the searing pain in my forearm as I looked over to the tunnel.

"What's my punishment?" I asked Koenma, keeping my eyes on the tunnel, wondering how I could construct a barrier.

Repairing and constructing were different, I found that out quickly as I realized I had to draw the energy around my perimeter in a certain way.

"We'll discuss that after this is over," Koenma muttered. "If you can keep this discreet, we will work something out. You made the right choice in the end."

"Will it be harsh?" I asked.

He thought about it for a second, still on the ground, preoccupied with Yusuke's death.

"We will make an arrangement," he said again.

I nodded and closed my eyes to begin channeling the energy in the air to construct another barrier around the tunnel. The calm of the tunnel was brief, as soon some presences graced us.

Wondering who could have possibly ventured down here, since the presences were nothing close to what I knew, I turned as Koenma exclaimed in surprised.

"The _SDF_!"

"Who are they?" Mitarai asked as I ignored them, beginning to repair the barrier—receiving another headache and steady stream of blood from my nostrils.

"The most elite soldiers in the spirit world," Koenma answered. "How long will it take you to close this tunnel?"

"Ten days, sir," one replied.

"With Satomi, I want it done in five days."

I didn't know how to close it, but maybe with their help I could.

"Shouldn't we wait for them to come back?" I asked, looking over to the men.

Normally I would be embarrassed at my exposed body, but now wasn't the time for trivial emotions.

My jeans were sopping wet and were constricting my movement, slowing me down as I turned to face them, but I was in no hurry to go anywhere. Three men stepped up to me in strange battle armor and emitted spirit energy at the tunnel, beginning to close it.

"Construct a barrier," one of the men said to me as three men hopped into the tunnel. "Keep any from slipping through and wasting our time."

I nodded, closing my eyes to concentrate again.

Seconds passed, and I was soon able to gather the energy into a thin form around the tunnel itself, but Koenma's voice broke through, arguing with the men. I stopped my concentration and turned around to view the argument.

"He's a demon," the captain said, at least... I assumed he was a captain.

He spoke with authority to the other men.

"That's impossible," Koenma said. "His parents are humans."

"And so are his grandparents," the captain said. "And his great grandparents, his great-great grandparents..."

"Demonic atavism..." Koenma mumbled.

I stepped away from the tunnel, feeling the sharp, small rocks on the soles of my feet, and stood in front of Yusuke.

I couldn't read them, but I had a feeling I knew where this was going. A few men and a woman stepped around Yusuke's body, and I stood above the fallen boy, his legs underneath me.

Yusuke fought too hard to be degraded in this way.

Mitarai stepped up next to me, just as determined to protect Yusuke's dignity.

We knew we could do nothing, but we could stall them. Because I could feel something as I stood over his body. Yusuke may have been dead, but there was another aura coming closer, and it was being drawn by his dispersing spirit energy.

Yusuke's aura was altering. Something was going to happen, and I would stall the men until then.

"Move, girl," the captain growled at me, looking at my blood stained chest where the blood had been pouring from my nostrils for quite a while now. "He's a demon; he's the possibility to become a larger threat than Sensui."

"You all are insane!" Mitarai screamed from behind me, only furthering the rest of the adrenaline that had been shocked through me. "What do you think he's been doing? What do you think he's been fighting for all this time?"

But a man stealthily appeared behind Mitarai, and jabbed the side of his hand into an artery in his neck, knocking him out cold. I turned to the man, daring him to touch me. He wouldn't touch me though, because I posed no other threat and could be moved by brute force alone.

Stupid reason on his end, but I didn't mind right now. I stared him down, threatening him to touch me.

"If he was really a threat, don't you think he would have done something before now?" I asked, turning towards the supposed captain. "He lost his life for the human world—for assholes like you."

The captain began to say something, opened his mouth, but then slowly closed it. He wasn't wasting time on me; he was going to convince the Prince of the Spirit World.

And while the captain and Koenma bickered back and forth, I concentrated on the surge of energy that was coming forth from the tunnel I had previously come from with Yusuke and the boys.

From my peripheral vision, the men lifted their hands up, ready to fire spirit energy at the two of us.

I held out my arms above my sides, welcoming it, daring them. I wondered if I would make the same choice if I wasn't feeding off adrenaline.

Allowing my death would just close the tunnel anyways. Either way they wanted to go about this, I'd fulfill something I felt strongly about.

I closed my eyes, hoping that aura was a friend, not a foe, and waited as the energy surged towards me and Yusuke.

_"Fire!"_

But something wrapped around me, a soft, warming aura.

Warm, protecting.

Opening my eyes, I found soft blue feathers enveloping me.

Another aura seeped through the brand new one that enveloped me, Yusuke...

It wasn't his spirit aura anymore.

"That's enough, Puu," he said, his voice seemed a bit dark, unsettling.

The feathers unwrapped themselves from around me, returning my view to the rocky walls of the destroyed cave.

Yusuke's eyes glanced over towards me, a darkened facial expression. A different Yusuke.

Puu retreated behind Yusuke, and I inched away from the demon, beginning to regret stalling the men for even a few seconds.

"His energy!" One of the men yelled as we became visible again, emerging from Puu's wings.

Yusuke chuckled darkly, "I heard everything. Insolent fools, do you know who I am?"

I inched away some more, feeling the different aura emitting from his perimeter.

"I'm a descendant of demon royalty," he chuckled. "I'll show you my true form."

The men began to run in fear and I backed up towards Koenma, ready to shove him in front of me for protection.

I officially regretted stalling the men.

He put his hands over his head, and then placed them on the back of his neck... and laughed, "Just kidding."

Legs numb, I dropped to the ground, exasperated. Everyone in the cave looked around in silence, shocked.

I stood up, shaking, and screamed, "You prick!"

"You should have seen the look on your face," Yusuke laughed, and I had no strength to try and strangle him again. Within seconds, he calmed down and turned to Koenma, "Kuwabara and everyone are in the demon world, right?"

"Huh, uh... yeah..." Koenma was surprised, still in shock.

"Then we better get going," Yusuke said with a grin.

He just came back to life and was already eager to fight.

"HALT!" The captain was still trying to stop him.

He hadn't learned his lesson.

"Dude, seriously, stop," Yusuke glared at the captain, exasperated as much as I was. "_I will eat you_."

"I'm coming with you," Koenma said and stood up as the captain backed away.

"Satomi," Yusuke turned to me. "You think you can construct that barrier again?"

Surprised he even trusted me, I nodded shakily, unsure.

"You may not be able to return to the human world if they close the tunnel," Koenma warned.

I thought about Hiei, not being able to see him again. And Kurama, my best friend...

Part of me didn't want to close it.

"Satomi," Yusuke said, grabbing my attention. I was sure he knew what I was thinking about, "Just do it."

I wiped the blood from my nose and mouth, and nodded solemnly, "Good luck."

As Koenma and Yusuke settled onto the large blue bird's back, it flapped its wings, forcing gusts of wind to push up the loosened dirt from underneath it.

Soon, their figures retreated into the tunnel, and I turned to the men, most of whom were glaring at me. I couldn't read them, so I had no idea what to expect.

"A human girl is with them," the captain noted, a rhetorical question.

I nodded stiffly; a curious sense of pride swarmed me as he walked over to me. I backed up with each step he took towards me, wary of him. But he was able to grab my neck with ease.

"_Woah, stop_!" I screeched as he lifted me off the ground, knowing exactly where this was going.

"Aiding and abetting a target for our assassination is punishable," he said mundanely. "As there's no time for a proper sentencing and no higher authority for veto, I'm hereby given jurisdiction of handling the situation and its consequences."

"No, wait!" I cried, kicking my feet at him.

"You've aided a demon who has the potential to be more powerful than the enemy you all were previously fighting against," my bare feet smacked against his armor, echoing slightly in the cave, burning my soles.

I felt this wasn't his jurisdiction, and he was only here to scare me into following his orders because Koenma wasn't around to veto.

"You can't kill a human. You won't fucking do it," I spat at him, sending bits of mucus and blood onto his cheek.

I regretted everything instantly as he swung me around and unsettled my stomach, tossing me into the wall beside the tunnel.

Winded, choking on the air lodged inside my throat and focusing on the pain throughout my entire body, I began coughing. My body retched forward, releasing the last of adrenaline, and all of my breakfast. The measly apple, for all I could remember.

"Your hearing will be conducted soon," his voice began fading, and all I could think of was how thankful I was that he didn't know my previous plan to help open the tunnel.

Vision blurred, the sight of the green and limpid liquid beneath me faded black, and my face fell into the puddle I'd create seconds ago as my body and mind gave up.


End file.
